Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents

Summary

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents offers a comprehensive list of resources and support for individuals grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. It includes personal insights, professional perspectives, and a curated selection of books and support groups. The author, Beth Brown, shares her own experience of losing her son to suicide and emphasizes the importance of seeking help and understanding.

Introduction

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents provides a comprehensive list of resources, support groups, and books for those who have lost a loved one to suicide, especially a child to suicide.

Personal insights and recommendations for support and resources are included by the author, Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son, to suicide 11 years ago. Healing After Suicide Loss: Essential Resources and Support offers valuable resources and support for individuals dealing with suicide loss.

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents

By Beth Brown, in memory of my son Dylan

Introduction

Losing a child to suicide is an unimaginable heartbreak. As a parent who has walked this path, I understand the depths of grief, confusion, and longing that follow such a devastating loss. You are not alone in this journey. There is help, hope, and healing—even in the midst of profound sorrow. This guide brings together meaningful resources, personal stories, and self-care strategies that have supported me and countless others as we navigate the road toward healing.

Personal Reflections and Stories

When my son Dylan died by suicide at age 20, my world shattered. In the early days, I felt lost in a fog of disbelief and pain, struggling with the basics of daily life. Breathing itself felt impossible. I questioned everything—myself, my faith, and my ability to continue. The grief was overwhelming, and the loneliness profound.

The First Year

The first year after Dylan’s death was a blur. Each morning, I awoke with a heaviness in my chest, the reality of his absence crashing over me again and again. I often searched for answers, replayed memories, and wished for just one more moment with him. Some days, all I could manage were the smallest tasks—getting out of bed, making tea, and sitting quietly with my grief.

Finding Connection

Connecting with other bereaved parents gradually brought a glimmer of hope. I joined an online support group, where I could share my story and listen to others. One mother wrote about planting a garden in memory of her child; another described writing letters to her son. These acts of remembrance inspired me to create my own rituals—lighting a candle for Dylan, journaling my feelings, and sharing his story on my website.

Moments of Grace

There were unexpected moments of grace, too. A friend sent me a book about healing after loss, and a neighbor left flowers on my porch. I found comfort in nature, walking in the woods and feeling the sun on my face. Over time, I learned that healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means finding ways to carry my love for Dylan forward, even as I grieve.

Helping Others

As my journey continued, I realized that sharing my experiences could help others. I began writing about grief, hope, and healing, and connecting with parents who were just beginning their own journeys. Each story shared and each moment of understanding helped me feel less alone.

Mental Health and Suicide Loss

Suicide is often the tragic result of complex mental health conditions. Many who die by suicide struggle with depression, bipolar disorder, or other mood disorders. These illnesses can distort thinking, sap hope, and make it difficult to see a way forward—even for those who are deeply loved.

• Depression: One of the most common conditions linked to suicide, causing overwhelming sadness, hopelessness, and isolation.
• Bipolar Disorder: Involves extreme mood swings, with depressive episodes that carry a high risk for suicide.

Research shows that a significant percentage of people who die by suicide have a diagnosable mental health condition, often undiagnosed or untreated. If your child struggled with depression, bipolar disorder, or another mental illness, please know that their death was not your fault. Mental illness is a powerful, sometimes invisible force, and suicide is never the result of a lack of love or effort from family.

The Impact of Substance Abuse

Substance abuse—including addiction and alcoholism—can increase the risk of suicide. Alcohol and drugs can intensify feelings of despair, lower inhibitions, and make impulsive actions more likely. Many individuals who die by suicide have struggled with substance use disorders, either alone or alongside mental health conditions. Substance abuse can make it harder to seek help, maintain relationships, and manage emotions.

If your child battled addiction or alcoholism, know that these are illnesses, not moral failings. The combination of substance abuse and mental health struggles can be overwhelming, and support is available for families facing these challenges.

Breaking the Stigma of Suicide

Stigma and silence around suicide and mental illness can make grief even harder to bear. Many parents feel isolated, judged, or unable to talk openly about their loss.

• Speak openly about your child’s life and struggles, if and when you feel ready.
• Share your story with trusted friends, support groups, or through writing and advocacy.
• Educate others about the realities of mental illness and suicide—these are health issues, not character flaws.

Remember, you are not alone. Many families have walked this path and are working to create a more compassionate, understanding world.

Honoring Your Grief and Your Child’s Memory

Grief is a natural, necessary response to loss. Honoring your grief and your child’s memory can be a source of comfort and healing.

• Create rituals of remembrance, such as lighting a candle, planting a tree, or keeping a journal.
• Celebrate your child’s life by sharing stories, photos, or favorite memories with others.
• Participate in walks, fundraisers, or advocacy events for suicide prevention and mental health awareness.
• Support others who are grieving, offering understanding and hope.
• Allow yourself to feel joy and hope again, knowing that healing does not diminish your love or your child’s importance.

Immediate Crisis Support

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out for help right away:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Available 24/7 for confidential support. Call: 988 or 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
• AFSP Helpline: Trained professionals offer emotional support at any time. Call: 988, Text: 741741, or Call: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

Online & Peer Support Networks

Connecting with others who understand your loss can be a lifeline:

• Parents of Suicides Online Support Group: A closed, moderated group available every day, year-round. Find peer connection, shared experiences, and information on further support.
• SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources: Comprehensive directories of therapists, support groups, and organizations specializing in suicide bereavement.
• About My Forever Son: My personal site chronicling the journey after losing my son Dylan, with curated resources, healing stories, and links to additional professional help.

Professional & Local Resources

Professional guidance can help you navigate the complexities of grief:

• Local Mental Health Services: Many communities offer grief counseling, suicide bereavement specialists, and psychotherapy for families affected by suicide loss. Contact your local health provider or hospital for referrals.
• Community & Faith-Based Support: Local centers, faith organizations, and school counseling services often provide support groups and workshops for those affected by suicide loss.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Programs

The AFSP offers a range of programs for those coping with suicide loss:

• Support Groups: Safe spaces nationwide for sharing emotions, stories, and coping strategies.
• Educational Programs: Awareness and prevention training for communities, schools, and workplaces.
• Loss & Healing Programs: The Survivor Outreach Program and Healing Conversations offer guidance and comfort.
• Advocacy & Research: AFSP supports public policies and research to improve suicide prevention and understanding.

Self-Care Tips for Grieving Parents

Caring for yourself is essential, even when it feels impossible. Here are gentle self-care strategies for parents grieving a child lost to suicide:

• Allow Yourself to Grieve: Your feelings—sadness, anger, confusion, guilt—are valid. There is no “right” way to grieve.
• Reach Out for Support: Connect with trusted friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your experience can ease feelings of isolation.
• Maintain Simple Routines: Eating regular meals, sleeping, and gentle movement can provide stability.
• Practice Mindfulness: Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling can help manage overwhelming emotions.
• Limit Stressors: Give yourself permission to say no to extra responsibilities or social events if you need time to heal.
• Seek Professional Help: If grief feels unbearable or persistent, consider speaking with a mental health professional.
• Engage in Healing Activities: Creative outlets, nature walks, or spiritual practices can foster comfort and hope.
• Be Patient with Yourself: Healing takes time. Allow yourself grace and avoid self-judgment.

Pathways Toward Hope and Healing

Reaching out for help is a sign of strength. These networks offer immediate crisis intervention, ongoing peer support, and access to professional counseling. Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses can foster understanding, empathy, and hope. Many survivors find comfort in these relationships, which can make a profound difference in the healing journey.

Healing after suicide loss is not about forgetting, but about learning to live with the love and memories we carry. There is hope, even in the midst of sorrow. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to one of these resources immediately. You are not alone, and support is available.

For more personal stories, resources, and guidance, visit https://aboutmyforeverson.com and explore the Table of Contents for articles on surviving grief, finding hope, and healing after losing a child to suicide.

Immediate Support for Newly Bereaved Parents

If you are newly bereaved, you are not alone. The following contacts and organizations provide immediate, confidential support for those in crisis and their families:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 24/7 free and confidential support for people in distress
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): Information, support, and community for those affected by suicide
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Resources and advocacy for families dealing with mental health challenges
• Parents of Suicides: An international e-mail group that offers understanding, support, information and hope to bereaved parents. Send an email to Karyl Chastain Beal at arlynsmom@cs.com to ask for an application to join POS. 
• Alliance of Hope: Provides healing support for people coping with the shock, excruciating grief, and complex emotions that accompany the loss of a loved one to suicide.
• The Compassionate Friends: A support group for those grieving the loss of a child to any cause. Members come together from diverse backgrounds to share their grief, hope, and support each other in building a future. 

Key Suggestions for Navigating Suicide Grief

• Seek Professional Help: Therapy and counseling can serve as essential sources of support during this difficult period.
• Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who have experienced similar loss can help reduce feelings of isolation and offer hope.
• Take Your Time: Grief is a deeply personal journey. Move at your own pace and allow yourself to rest as needed.
• Use Books and Resources: Reading about others’ experiences and expert guidance can help you understand and process your feelings. 
• Understanding the Unique Aspects of Suicide Grief provides valuable insights into the distinctive nature of grief experienced by parents mourning the loss of a child to suicide.

Recommended Books

• Understanding Your Suicide Grief by Alan Wolfelt
• A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief by Jeffrey Jackson
• Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide by Beth Brown

Self-Care Tips

• Rest when you need to.
• Engage in creative or meaningful activities.
• Honor your child’s memory in ways that feel right to you.

Parents grieving a child’s suicide may find comfort by giving themselves permission to heal at their own pace, participating in creative or meaningful activities, and honoring their child’s memory in personally meaningful ways. Connecting with support groups, seeking professional help, and engaging with helpful resources are essential steps in nurturing emotional and mental well-being. These practices support parents as they work toward healing in a difficult time.

Remember, you are not alone. Communities and resources are available to help you throughout your journey.

Glossary of Common Terms Related to Grief and Suicide Loss

• Grief: The emotional response to loss, especially after the death of a loved one. May include sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion.
• Bereavement: The period of mourning and adjustment following the death of someone close.
• Survivor of Suicide Loss: A person who has lost someone to suicide and is coping with the aftermath.
• Complicated Grief: Prolonged or intense grief that disrupts daily life and may benefit from professional support.
• Support Group: A gathering of individuals with shared experiences, offering mutual understanding and encouragement after suicide loss.
• Stigma: Negative attitudes, beliefs, or stereotypes about suicide and mental health that may prevent people from seeking help or speaking openly.
• Postvention: Actions and interventions designed to support individuals and communities after a suicide has occurred.
• Trigger: Anything that elicits a strong emotional reaction or brings back memories related to the loss.
• Resilience: The capacity to adapt and recover after experiencing loss or trauma.
• Counselor/Therapist: A professional who provides emotional support and guidance to those affected by grief and suicide loss.
• Self-care: Activities and practices that support physical, emotional, and mental well-being during challenging periods.
• Validation: Recognizing and affirming the feelings and experiences of individuals impacted by suicide loss.

Talking About Suicide Loss

When discussing suicide, it is important to use sensitive and accurate language. The phrase “died by suicide” is preferred, as it is nonjudgmental and recognizes suicide as a health issue. In contrast, “committed suicide” is outdated and potentially stigmatizing, as it suggests criminality or moral wrongdoing. Using compassionate and precise language helps foster understanding and reduces stigma for survivors and those affected by suicide loss.

Additional Resources

• My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide Blog – Offers support and resources for parents who are grieving the devastating loss of a child to suicide. The author shares her profoundly personal journey of healing and resilience following the tragic loss of her son, Dylan. Support resources include articles about understanding suicide, including breaking the stigma and myths surrounding suicide, support for survivors of suicide loss, focusing especially on helping parents who lose a child to suicide find the support they need, personal stories and reflections on suicide loss, and original poems and poetic reflections on grief and healing
• Nationwide Children’s Hospital: Provides research, expert articles, and mental health resources for families and children dealing with suicide loss. discusses the importance of understanding mental health and breaking stigmas surrounding it. Emphasizes that suicide is not a choice but a result of complex factors and emotional pain. A compassionate, well-researched site established and admistered by suicide epidemiologists and pediatricians. Includes a blog about issues surrounding suicide and suicidal ideation in children (bullying, demographics, trauma, mental health, and other topics).
• Alliance for Suicide Survivors: Offers survivor support groups, educational materials, and advocacy resources. The organization provides 24/7 online support for suicide loss survivors, recognizing the high risk of suicide among this population. provide healing and compassionate support during the lonely and tumultuous aftermath of suicide. 

Common Myths About Suicide

• Myth: Talking about suicide will encourage someone to go through with it. Fact: Speaking openly and compassionately about suicide can reduce stigma and help people feel understood; it does not “plant the idea.”
• Myth: Only people with mental illness die by suicide. Fact: While mental health conditions can increase risk, people from all walks of life, with or without a diagnosed disorder, can experience suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
• Myth: People who talk about suicide are just seeking attention and won’t go through with it. Fact: All expressions of suicidal thoughts or feelings should be taken seriously. Reaching out may be a plea for help.
• Myth: Suicide happens without warning. Fact: Many people give clues or warnings—through words, behavior, or mood changes—before a suicide attempt.
• Myth: If someone seems better after feeling suicidal, the risk is gone. Fact: Sometimes, an improvement in mood can occur when a person has made a decision to die by suicide. Continued support and vigilance are important.
• Myth: Suicide is a selfish act. Fact: Suicide is often the result of overwhelming pain and distress; it is not about selfishness, but rather about suffering that feels unbearable.

Related Reads

• Healing through Poetry: Grieving a Child’s Loss to Suicide
• Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide
• Three Years of Grief and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide
• 15 Essential Grief Tips After a Child’s Suicide
• “Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay”: A Poem on Suicide Loss

My Forever Son

Table of Contents

Key Resources for Understanding Suicide

The articles below include key resources for understanding suicide and coping with grief. They offer compassionate guidance. Notably, the “Rain Comes to Heal Us All” Poem: Finding Hope After Loss, provides solace. Grief involves stigma, guilt, and various emotions from anger to relief.

Research indicates that suicide is not a conscious choice, necessitating a non-judgmental emotional healing approach. Support groups and educational materials empower survivors, fostering community connections.

The content includes the author’s story of losing her child, emotional support resources, insights on suicide, grief duration discussions, and resources for bereaved parents.

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents is a comprehensive resource for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. The book offers a curated list of books, including practical guides, narratives, poetry, and novels, providing support and understanding for those navigating grief. The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal journey of loss and healing, emphasizing the importance of support groups and educational materials in the grieving process.

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice explores the emotional complexities surrounding suicide, challenging the notion that it is a choice. Dr. John Ackerman highlights the myriad factors influencing suicidal thoughts, emphasizing that individuals often seek relief from overwhelming pain rather than wanting to end their lives. This piece encourages empathy and awareness, making it essential reading for those wanting to support loved ones in distress.

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents offers a comprehensive list of resources and support for individuals grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. It includes personal insights, professional perspectives, and a curated selection of books and support groups. The author, Beth Brown, shares her own experience of losing her son to suicide and emphasizes the importance of seeking help and understanding.

Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End?

Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End? offers a compassionate look at and attempts to response to one of the most profound challenges of longterm grief after suicide loss: Does the pain of losing a child to suicide is profound and never fully goes away, but it does change and become a part of one’s life. Finding support through counseling, support groups, and connecting with others who have experienced similar losses is crucial for healing. Grief is a journey with seasons that come and go, and it is possible to learn to live with the pain while honoring the love for the lost child.

To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to be here and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain does change, it softens. You will want to live again and be able to enjoy life again. It will never be like before but the crushing, all consuming pain you feel right now will soften. You will be able to live with it. It just becomes part of you.

A parent who lost their child to suicide

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Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched”

Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched” features Ronald Rolheiser’s writings on suicide which offer a compassionate and spiritual perspective, emphasizing that suicide is often a tragic consequence of mental illness, not a voluntary act. He encourages loved ones to release guilt and second-guessing, understanding that they are not responsible for the person’s death. Rolheiser also highlights the importance of remembering the deceased’s life beyond their suicide, trusting in God’s infinite love and understanding.

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Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters

Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters explores the pain and grief surrounding suicide, emphasizing that it is not a conscious choice but a desperate attempt to escape unbearable suffering. The article highlights current research, personal stories, and compassionate support for those struggling with depression and mental health, aiming to break the stigma surrounding suicide. It provides resources and insights into the complexities of grief and the journey towards healing.

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The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief, recounts the author’s harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Her story highlights her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing. The blog “My Forever Son” came about as a way for the author to work through this devastating grief that follows the loss of a child to suicide. My Forever Son blog serves as a platform for sharing experiences and finding healing and solace in community.

Recommended Reading: A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief

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Essential Support Resources for Bereaved Parents Mourning Suicide Loss

Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors

The Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors is a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing support and healing to those who have lost a loved one to suicide. They offer online resources, community forums, and a network of compassionate individuals who understand the unique challenges faced by survivors. The organization aims to foster a sense of connection, hope, and resilience in the aftermath of such a devastating loss. Their mission is to ensure that no survivor feels alone on their grief journey, and to provide a safe space for healing and understanding.

Online Support Groups: Parents of Suicides; and Friends & Families of Suicides

The groups, “Parents of Suicides” and “Friends and Families of Suicides,” are online closed-group support networks that provide solace, guidance, and understanding to individuals who have experienced the loss of a loved one to suicide. These groups aim to create a safe space for grieving parents, family members, and friends to share their emotions, stories, and experiences.

Parents of Suicides is an international e-mail group and part of the POS – FFOS Internet Community established on October 9, 1998. The group is managed and moderated by volunteers, mothers and fathers in the group who give their time and hearts to help. The mission of POS is to offer understanding, support, information and hope to bereaved parents. (This group is exclusively for birth parents or parents who legally adopted their children.)

Send an email to Karyl Chastain Beal at arlynsmom@cs.com to ask for an application to join POS

If you’ve lost a child to suicide: Parents of Suicides

If you’ve lost a friend or family member: Friends and Families of Suicides

Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS) is an international e-mail group and part of the POS – FFOS Internet Community. The FFOS group was began on September 30, 2000. The group is managed and moderated by volunteers, other members of the group who give their time and hearts to help. Our mission is to offer understanding, support, information and hope to anyone grieving a suicide death.

Nationwide Children’s Hospital: Center for Suicide Prevention and Research

Nationwide Children’s Hospital: Center for Suicide Prevention and Research

The Center for Suicide Prevention and Research at Nationwide Children’s Hospital is dedicated to understanding, preventing, and treating suicide among children and adolescents. They offer a wide range of valuable resources and information to help those affected by suicide.

One of the most helpful resources available is the collection of articles on various aspects of suicide prevention. These articles include debunking myths about children’s suicide, shedding light on the complex factors contributing to suicide, and understanding why suicide should not be seen as selfish or a choice. You can find these informative articles on the CSPR Blog Posts page.

The Center for Suicide Prevention and Research at Nationwide Children’s Hospital is committed to making a difference in the lives of young individuals and their families. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide or affected by suicide, these resources can provide valuable insights and support. Remember, there is help available, and you are not alone. Reach out to professionals who can provide the support and guidance you need.

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Inspiring Books and Poems for Healing and Hope

Beth Brown, Author

About the Author

Beth Brown is a writer, educator, and bereaved mother who shares her journey of healing after losing her only son, Dylan, to suicide. Through poetry, essays, and her blog My Forever Son, Beth offers comfort and hope to others navigating grief, honoring the enduring bond between parent and child and celebrating the small joys that illuminate the path toward healing.

Meet the Author: Writing Through the Abyss

by Beth Brown

There are places that cannot be mapped, only entered—terrains of loss where language falters and the heart, stripped of its certainties, must learn to speak again. I am Beth Brown, a mother whose son, Dylan, died by suicide at twenty. My life, once measured by the ordinary rhythms of teaching literature and nurturing a child, was pierced in two: before and after. In the aftermath, I found myself wandering a wilderness where time bent, memory ached, and the world’s colors dimmed to the hush of grief.

On baby’s breath and angel wings,
You bring me love yet still,
— “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”

I did not choose to become a chronicler of sorrow, but grief, relentless and unbidden, pressed its ink into my hands. I wrote because I could not bear the silence. I wrote because the ache demanded witness. In poetry, I found a way to hold both the weight of absence and the persistence of love—a language for the unspeakable, a vessel for memory, a place where my son’s name could still be spoken.

He left too soon,
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain.
— “He Left Too Soon”

There are nights when the world tilts, and I am returned to the moment of loss, the fracture that remade me. Yet even in the deepest dark, I have learned to listen for the faint music of hope, the pulse of love that endures beyond death.

Beat still my heart,
Beat still my mind,
Weary though thou art,
Carry his love along with thine,
Though heavy on thy shoulders
Crost fields throughout all time.
— “Beat Still My Heart”

My poems are not answers. They are offerings—fragments of a life lived in the shadow of absence, pieced together with longing and the fierce, unyielding devotion of a mother’s heart. They are the record of a journey through the labyrinth of grief, where each turn reveals both the ache of what is lost and the quiet radiance of what remains.

My child sleeps in a cradle of stars,
Gently rocked by the moon
Lullabies in his heart,
Heavens in galaxies swirl round to the sound
Of a mother and child’s love beating on.

Meteor showers, on the darkest of nights,
Bring comfort and joy to my child’s delight,
Aurora Borealis tints sky blue and green,
Where my child remembers his mother in dreams.

–“Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”

There are questions that haunt the bereaved: Could I have known? Could I have saved you? The mind circles these unanswerable riddles, but the heart, battered and tender, learns to rest in the mystery.

I’d have reached right in to your dark night’s soul—
I would have held on, I would have clutched you,
I would have never let you go
But you told me “Mom I love you”
Oh my child, if I’d only known.
— “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”

In the landscape of loss, I have discovered that love is not diminished by death. It is transformed—becoming both ache and solace, shadow and light, the filament that binds the living to the lost.

Body, mind, soul, rough and ragged,
Weeping tears falling still throughout time,
Carrying weight of mourning and grieving
Falling broken when thou wert mine.
— “Beat Still My Heart”

I write for those who walk this wilderness with me—for the mothers and fathers, siblings and friends, whose lives have been marked by the unthinkable. My hope is that in these poems, you will find not only the echo of your own sorrow, but also the quiet assurance that you are not alone.

Starlight for a mobile twinkling ‘ere so bright,
To remember his mother that darkest of nights,
When slipped he from her grasp and fell through this earth,
Tumbling still planets, sun, folding time in rebirth.
— “Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”

That we might understand we cannot separate mental illness from physical illness and that try as we might, we cannot see inside another’s pain.

–“Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”

And how my heart keeps on beating
Is a mystery to all,
For without you beside me
Through life’s depth I crawl.

I live now life backwards
My heart beating in time,
To the life that we lived
When you, child, were mine.

Try as I might
I can’t seem to live,
For my dreams all belonged,
To your future forward lived.

—“Bury My Heart”

If you have come here searching for words to companion your grief, I welcome you. My poetry is not a map, but a lantern—casting light on the path we walk, together and alone, toward a horizon where love, undiminished, endures.

But boughs break and love falls through the cracks in the earth,
And the centre can’t hold when orbits, slung far, break their girth,
Gravitational interference, passing stars in the night,
Jetting orbs, falling stars in a moonless sky.
— “Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”

Grief is wild—untamed, unending, and full of shadows. Yet within its depths, I have found moments of light: a memory, a poem, the gentle rustle of leaves, the warmth of a cup of tea. My words are both ache and love, a testament that even in the deepest sorrow, we can find meaning, connection, and—sometimes—hope. Through poetry, I reach for my son and for all who walk this path. If you find yourself here, know that you are not alone, and that love—like poetry—endures.

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If you wish to read more, my collection, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide is available on Amazon Kindle. and many other reflections await you at myforeverson.com.

Bury My Heart

Professional Resources

Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress

After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.

Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.

Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.

HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.

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Resources and Support Groups

Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
http://www.pos-ffos.com
This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.

Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
https://www.taps.org/suicide
This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.

United Survivors
https://unitesurvivors.org/
This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.

Professional Organizations

American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.

The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.

Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.

LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.

Online resources

Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.

Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.

Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.

SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.

Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.

Finding professional care and support

Find a mental health provider

• afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
• findtreatment.samhsa.gov
• mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
• inclusivetherapists.com
• afsp.org/suicide-bereavement-trained-clinicians

Find a provider for prolonged grief

• prolongedgrief.columbia.edu

Find additional resources for marginalized communities

• afsp.org/mental-health-resources-for-marginalized-communities

Crisis Services

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.

Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.

Support Groups

• Alliance for Hope for suicide loss survivors – https://forum.allianceofhope.org/forums/-/list
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention – https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group
• American Society of Suicidology – https://suicidology.org/resources/suicide-loss-survivors/
• British Columbia Bereavement Helpline, Suicide Grief Support – https://bcbh.ca/grief-support/suicide-grief-support/
• Coalition of Clinician-Survivors – https://www.cliniciansurvivor.org/# 
• Community Support After Suicide (Peachtree Comprehensive Health) – https://www.pchprofessionals.com/community-support-after-suicide  
• Compassionate Friends Loss to Suicide group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/tcflosstosuicide
• Emotions Matter Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Loss Group – https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/bpd-loss-group (note that not all losses are suicide, though many are. All losses have a connection to BPD.)
• Friends and Families of Suicide (FFOS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/ffos.htm
• Friends for Survival – https://friendsforsurvival.org/
• Heartbeat: Grief Support Following Suicide – https://www.heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org/services
• Helping Parents Heal: Special Interest Group -Moving Forward After Suicide – https://www.helpingparentsheal.org/affiliate-groups/special-interest-groups/ (note that Helping Parents Heal “goes a step beyond other groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and afterlife evidence—in a non-dogmatic way.  HPH affiliate groups welcome everyone regardless of religious or non-religious background and encourage open dialog.”)
• Long Island Survivors of Suicide – https://lisos.org/ 
• The Lounge – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/about-4 
• Parents of Suicide (POS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/pos.htm
• Sail to Heal – https://www.sail2heal.org/ 
• Smile through the Storms – https://www.smilethroughthestorms.com/ 
• Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE) – https://save.org/save-support-groups/
• Working on My Grief  – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/ 

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Books for Understanding Suicide And Mental Health

An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1995. In this memoir, an international authority on Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder describes her own struggle since adolescence with the disorder, and how it has shaped her life.

Darkness Visible
William Styron, Random House, 1990. A powerful and moving first-hand account of what depression feels like to the sufferer.

Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope with the Death of a Child to Suicide or Drugs
William Feigelman, Ph.D., John Jordan, Ph.D., John McIntosh, Ph.D., Beverly Feigelman, LCSW, Springer Publishing, 2012. This book provides useful avenues for future research on suicide loss and offers new insights into the grief process that follows the death of a child, both in the short term and years after a loss.  Please note that, given its academic tone, the book is better suited to clinicians and educators than to recently bereaved lay readers.

Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1999. Kay Redfield Jamison’s in-depth psychological and scientific exploration of suicide traces the network of reasons underlying suicide, including the factors that interact to cause suicide, and outlines the evolving treatments available through modern medicine.

The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
Andrew Solomon, Scribner, 2001.Winner of the National Book Award, this book shares the author’s story of chronic depression, and places depression in a broader social context.

Why People Die by Suicide
Thomas Joiner, Ph.D., Harvard University Press, 2005.
Drawing on extensive clinical and epidemiological evidence, as well as personal experience, the author, who lost his father to suicide, identifies three factors that mark those most at risk of considering, attempting, or dying by suicide.

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Recommended Reading

Book Recommendation: ‘A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief’ by Jeffrey Jackson, providing support for survivors of suicide loss, My Forever Son

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Books

• Beal, Karyl Chastain (2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018). Faces of Suicide, Volumes One to Five.
• Brown, Beth (2023) Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
• Cacciatore, Joanne (2017). Bearing the Unbearable. Wisdom Publications.
• Clark, Ann (2020). Gone to Suicide. A mom’s truth on heartbreak, transformation and prevention. Iuniverse.
• Collins, Eileen Vorbach (2023). Love in the Archives. a patchwork of true stories about suicide loss. Apprentice House Press.
• Cross, Tracey (2013). Suicide among gifted children and adolescents. Understanding the suicidal mind. Prufrock Press.
• Dougy Center, The (2001). After a Suicide: An Activity Book for Grieving Kids. Dougy Center.
• Estes, Clarissa Pinkola (1988). The Faithful Gardener. HarperCollinsSanFrancisco.
• Fine, Carla (1997). No Time to Say Goodbye. Surviving the suicide of a loved one. Broadway Books.
• Heilmann, Lena M.Q. (2019). Still with Us. Voices of Sibling Suicide Loss Survivors. BDI Publishers.
• Hickman, Martha Whitmore (1994). Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. William Morrow Paperbacks
• Jamison, Kay Redfield (2000). Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. Vintage.
• Johnson, Julie Tallard (1994). Hidden Victims, Hidden Healers. An eight-stage healing process for families and friends of the mentally ill. Pema Publications.
• Joiner, Thomas (2005). Why People Die by Suicide. Harvard University Press
• Joiner, Thomas (2010). Myths About Suicide. Harvard University Press.
• Kushner, Harold S. (2004). When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Anchor Books
• O’Connor, Mary-Francis (2022). The Grieving Brain. HarperOne.
• Rasmussen, Christina (2019). Second Firsts. Hay House Inc.
• Shapiro, Larry (2020). Brain Pain. Giving insight to children who have lost a family member or a loved one to suicide. Safe Haven Books.
• Wickersham, Julie (2009). The Suicide Index: Putting My Father’s Death in Order. Mariner Books.

Memorial Sites

• Faces of Suicide – memorial site for those who died by suicide –  https://www.facesofsuicide.com/
• Suicide Memorial Wall – tribute site for those who died by suicide – https://www.suicidememorialwall.com/

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