
Healing Grief: Poetry for Parents After Child Loss
Summary
Healing Grief: Poetry for Parents After Child Loss by author Beth Brown is a poignant collection of poems and poetic reflections that explore the deep emotions of grief and healing following the loss of a child. After losing her son Dylan to suicide in 2012, Brown conveys the journey of mourning through tender poems that resonate with readers. Her heartfelt language and imagery honor the memory of those lost while offering comfort and pathways to resilience amid sorrow.
Key Takeaways
- ‘Healing Grief: Poetry for Parents After Child Loss by author Beth Brown, explores grief and healing after losing a child to suicide.
- Poems in the collection provide comfort and resonate with different stages of mourning.
- The featured poem, ‘On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings,’ highlights loss and healing themes.
- The article includes a lullaby, ‘As I Tuck You In,’ reflecting a mother’s love and remembrance.
- Overall, the collection guides parents through their healing journey after losing a child.
Introduction: “When Love Isn’t Enough”—From the Pages of My Forever Son
‘Healing Grief: Poetry for Parents After Child Loss
June 25, 2012, is the day my world changed forever—the day I lost my only child, my son Dylan, age 20, to suicide. In the aftermath, I was left with questions that can never be fully answered. Why did my child die by suicide? What could I have done? The truth is, some things are beyond understanding. Suicide is not a choice made in the light, and love, no matter how fierce, is not always enough to save someone from their pain.
Grief after suicide is devastating. There were nights I could not breathe for the ache, days I wondered if I would ever feel hope again. I wrote my way through the darkness—first in fragments, then in poems, then in the pages of My Forever Son. Through writing, I found a way to carry both ache and love together, side by side.
As grief counselor David Kessler reminds us: “Build a life of love around the loss.”
You Are Not Alone
My Forever Son exists because I lost my son, Dylan, to suicide—and survived. This site holds reflections from early shock through long‑term grief, written for parents walking this same road.
Start here if your loss is recent:
Read more about understanding suicide grief:

Healing Through Poetry: Support for Grieving Parents
Guidance for Memorial Gatherings & Support Groups
For Memorial Dates (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Holidays):
- Begin with a moment of silence or gentle reading of the introduction.
- Invite participants to share a memory, a word, or a poem that speaks to their heart.
- After each poem, pause for reflection. Encourage participants to write, speak, or simply sit with the words.
- Light a candle, place a flower, or read a favorite poem together in honor of your child.
- Allow space for both tears and laughter—grief and love walk together.
For Support Groups:
- Use journaling prompts to guide discussion or private reflection.
- Consider reading poems aloud in a circle, allowing each voice to honor the journey of grief and healing.
- Close with a message of hope, a ritual, or a reading from the final section.
- For those wishing to support bereaved parents, offer gentle presence, acknowledge the child’s life, and avoid trying to “fix” their grief. For guidance, visit What to Say to Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide which offers compassionate insights and heartfelt guidance for comforting grieving parents.
You Are Not Alone
If you are reading this, know that you are not alone. There is a community that cares, and there is hope, even in the darkest seasons. Your love matters, your story matters, and your child will always be remembered. Healing does not mean forgetting—it means learning to carry both ache and love together, side by side.
With compassion and understanding,
—from the pages of My Forever Son
Beth Brown, Author

About the Author
Beth Brown is a writer, educator, and bereaved mother who shares her journey of healing after losing her only son, Dylan, to suicide. Through poetry, essays, and her blog My Forever Son, Beth offers comfort and hope to others navigating grief, honoring the enduring bond between parent and child and celebrating the small joys that illuminate the path toward healing.
Meet the Author: Writing Through the Abyss
by Beth Brown
There are places that cannot be mapped, only entered—terrains of loss where language falters and the heart, stripped of its certainties, must learn to speak again. I am Beth Brown, a mother whose son, Dylan, died by suicide at twenty. My life, once measured by the ordinary rhythms of teaching literature and nurturing a child, was pierced in two: before and after. In the aftermath, I found myself wandering a wilderness where time bent, memory ached, and the world’s colors dimmed to the hush of grief.
On baby’s breath and angel wings,
You bring me love yet still,
— “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”
I did not choose to become a chronicler of sorrow, but grief, relentless and unbidden, pressed its ink into my hands. I wrote because I could not bear the silence. I wrote because the ache demanded witness. In poetry, I found a way to hold both the weight of absence and the persistence of love—a language for the unspeakable, a vessel for memory, a place where my son’s name could still be spoken.
He left too soon,
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain.
— “He Left Too Soon”
There are nights when the world tilts, and I am returned to the moment of loss, the fracture that remade me. Yet even in the deepest dark, I have learned to listen for the faint music of hope, the pulse of love that endures beyond death.
Beat still my heart,
Beat still my mind,
Weary though thou art,
Carry his love along with thine,
Though heavy on thy shoulders
Crost fields throughout all time.
— “Beat Still My Heart”
My poems are not answers. They are offerings—fragments of a life lived in the shadow of absence, pieced together with longing and the fierce, unyielding devotion of a mother’s heart. They are the record of a journey through the labyrinth of grief, where each turn reveals both the ache of what is lost and the quiet radiance of what remains.
My child sleeps in a cradle of stars,
Gently rocked by the moon
Lullabies in his heart,
Heavens in galaxies swirl round to the sound
Of a mother and child’s love beating on.
Meteor showers, on the darkest of nights,
Bring comfort and joy to my child’s delight,
Aurora Borealis tints sky blue and green,
Where my child remembers his mother in dreams.
–“Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”
There are questions that haunt the bereaved: Could I have known? Could I have saved you? The mind circles these unanswerable riddles, but the heart, battered and tender, learns to rest in the mystery.
I’d have reached right in to your dark night’s soul—
I would have held on, I would have clutched you,
I would have never let you go
But you told me “Mom I love you”
Oh my child, if I’d only known.
— “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”
In the landscape of loss, I have discovered that love is not diminished by death. It is transformed—becoming both ache and solace, shadow and light, the filament that binds the living to the lost.
Body, mind, soul, rough and ragged,
Weeping tears falling still throughout time,
Carrying weight of mourning and grieving
Falling broken when thou wert mine.
— “Beat Still My Heart”
I write for those who walk this wilderness with me—for the mothers and fathers, siblings and friends, whose lives have been marked by the unthinkable. My hope is that in these poems, you will find not only the echo of your own sorrow, but also the quiet assurance that you are not alone.
Starlight for a mobile twinkling ‘ere so bright,
To remember his mother that darkest of nights,
When slipped he from her grasp and fell through this earth,
Tumbling still planets, sun, folding time in rebirth.
— “Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”
That we might understand we cannot separate mental illness from physical illness and that try as we might, we cannot see inside another’s pain.
–“Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”
And how my heart keeps on beating
Is a mystery to all,
For without you beside me
Through life’s depth I crawl.
I live now life backwards
My heart beating in time,
To the life that we lived
When you, child, were mine.
Try as I might
I can’t seem to live,
For my dreams all belonged,
To your future forward lived.
If you have come here searching for words to companion your grief, I welcome you. My poetry is not a map, but a lantern—casting light on the path we walk, together and alone, toward a horizon where love, undiminished, endures.
But boughs break and love falls through the cracks in the earth,
And the centre can’t hold when orbits, slung far, break their girth,
Gravitational interference, passing stars in the night,
Jetting orbs, falling stars in a moonless sky.
— “Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”
Grief is wild—untamed, unending, and full of shadows. Yet within its depths, I have found moments of light: a memory, a poem, the gentle rustle of leaves, the warmth of a cup of tea. My words are both ache and love, a testament that even in the deepest sorrow, we can find meaning, connection, and—sometimes—hope. Through poetry, I reach for my son and for all who walk this path. If you find yourself here, know that you are not alone, and that love—like poetry—endures.
If you wish to read more, my collection, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide is available on Amazon Kindle. and many other reflections await you at myforeverson.com.
Bury My Heart

The Journey in Poems: From Raw Grief to Healing
Section I: Raw Grief
He Left Too Soon
I wrote this in the earliest days after Dylan’s death, when the shock of loss was overwhelming. The words spilled out as I tried to make sense of a world that no longer made sense. This poem is my cry into the abyss of grief—a lament for a life interrupted and a love that endures beyond absence.
If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You
This poem is the echo of every “what if” and “if only” that haunted me. I poured my guilt and longing into these lines, wishing love could have been enough to save my child.
Bury My Heart
Standing at Dylan’s grave, I felt the finality of loss. This poem is a meditation on the unbearable pain of laying my child to rest, and the longing for what cannot be undone.
Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon
As I pieced together the story of Dylan’s childhood, I found myself holding tight to the love we shared and the regret for what was hidden in his heart. This poem is a journey through cherished memories and unanswered questions.
Still from Sky I’m Falling
In the darkest nights, I felt suspended in grief, unable to find solid ground. These words came to me when sorrow felt endless and hope seemed far away.
Beat Still My Heart
When grief felt like a shipwreck, tossed in a storm with no shore in sight, I wrote this to give shape to the overwhelming loss and the struggle to keep going.
Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky
Some nights, hope felt impossible, and the ache of missing Dylan was all I could feel. This poem is about longing and emptiness after loss.
Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere–Grief Poem: “He Left Too Soon, Lifting Life from June”
The day Dylan died, a Derecho (fierce and unusual storm in the Midwest) marked his funeral. The weather mirrored my heart—turbulent, broken, and forever changed. This is both a story and poem.
Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy
Holidays once meant celebration, now transformed by grief. This poetic narrative reflects on how loss reshapes even the most familiar days.

The Journey in Poems: Middle Grief & Searching
Section II: Middle Grief & Searching
That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back
I yearned to undo what cannot be undone. This poem voices the struggle to accept the permanence of loss, and the wish to turn back time.
Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere–“He Left Too Soon”
A literal storm mirrored the chaos inside me, reminding me how quickly life can change. This poem connects the chaos of nature with the chaos of grief.
If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)
As grief transformed over time, I learned to carry both ache and love together. This poem is a meditation on how love and pain become inseparable.
Sorrow Buried in Love
Navigating the expectations of others and the complexity of healing, I found ways to keep love alive, even as sorrow remained.
Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay
I realized grief would always walk beside me. This poem is about accepting that love and grief remain, and learning to live with both.
Haunted by Guilt in Grief: Still from Sky I’m Falling
Nights spent questioning everything led me to wrestle with guilt and regret. This poem is for the journey toward self-forgiveness.
I Couldn’t Save My Son
Confronting the harshest truths of my journey, I grappled with self-blame and the limits of love. This poetic reflection on finding forgiveness after self-blame and guilt marks the beginning of letting go of guilt.
Matins: Reflections on Hope After Loss
In the quiet hours, grief softened and memories brought both tears and warmth. This poetic reflection is a gentle invitation to notice small moments of peace.
Three Years of Grief and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide
Looking back on my journey, I saw how far I’d come. This poem reflects on how grief evolves, and the small moments of clarity and acceptance that emerge.
A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table
Family connections were reshaped by grief, but love endured through generations. This poetic narrative honors the ways family holds us together, even in loss. A heartfelt story of a grandmother’s love through both the good memories and the tragic loss of a grandchild.
Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide
Grief ripples through generations. This poetic narrative is for the grandparents who grieve not only for their grandchild, but for their own child’s pain.

The Journey in Poems: Healing & Reflection
Section III: Healing & Reflection
On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings
As I began to find light again, I wrote this gentle guide toward healing, offering comfort and resources for navigating grief.
My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care
A lullaby of hope, written to honor the enduring bond between parent and child, even across the divide of loss. This poem is a song, a prayer for Dylan, and for myself.
Travel On My Brave Soldier
Moving forward meant carrying Dylan’s memory with me. This poem is a message of resilience, for all who continue on after loss.
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
Nature and writing brought small glimmers of hope. These poetic reflections share the verses and images that invited hope and renewal, even in the midst of sorrow.
Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss
Learning to live with both ache and love, side by side, I honored the ways Dylan’s memory shapes my life.
Spring Brings Hope
Each spring, I found new reasons to believe in renewal. This poetic reflection celebrates nature’s resilience as a metaphor for healing. Beautiful photographs of my gardens lend healing as well.
The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience
The world keeps turning, even as we grieve. This poetic narrative reflects on finding hope and resilience in nature’s cycles, and learning that beauty can coexist with pain. Through the four seasons of a single Magnolia tree in my garden, hope is found in spring blossoms after the monochromatic winter.
Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts
I wrote this to keep Dylan’s memory alive, and to share the joy he brought to my life. It is a tribute to my son, honoring his life and the love that remains.
I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide
Years after loss, I still search for hope. This poetic narrative is for those who keep looking for light, no matter how long it takes.
Twenty Years of Love: Dylan
Remembering the good times and honoring the legacy of love Dylan left behind, I wrote this to celebrate his life, his passions, and the love that endures.
About the Author & Book
These poems are drawn from my journey and from my book, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, available on Amazon Kindle. If you wish to explore further, you’ll find more reflections and resources in My Forever Son.
Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide by Beth Brown, author of My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide blog, is a profoundly touching anthology of poetry that captures the deep sorrow of losing a child to suicide. With its heartfelt verses, this collection serves as a comforting embrace for those journeying through the stormy seas of grief. It stands not only as a tribute to lost love but also as a gentle guide toward healing, making it an essential resource for anyone grappling with such an unimaginable loss.
LINK TO BOOK: Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
Featured Poem
On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings: Grieving a Child’s Suicide deeply explores the profound sorrow of losing a child to suicide, while also offering essential resources to help navigate the difficult journey of grief. With heartfelt personal reflections and practical coping strategies, this post serves as a compassionate guide for those facing similar heartache.

On Baby's Breath and Angel Wings
On baby's breath and angel wings,
You bring me love yet still,
In shades of blue where silver spoons
Shine moonbeams in your hair.
Oh lay me down to sleep tonight
In dreams where life goes on,
Where twirling, time and laughter gaze,
Adoringly in love.
Glitter falls from a sun that shines
Too bright in its own halo,
Where hallowed wings and angels sing,
Dark comes at night to clothe.
In shadows hushed and moods downcast
Despair lives in the music you love,
Rhythms that cut and carve deep grooves
Trample hope and dreams from above.
Down, down, down you faster fall
Than I can spread my wings,
To catch you, hold you, love you back
To perch where you can sing.
© Beth Brown, 2024
"On Baby's Breath and Angel Wings"
Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
My Forever Son

My Forever Son explores the profound grief, hope, and healing that follow the tragedy of losing a child to suicide.
My Forever Son dovetails the author’s journey of descending into deep grief, searching for hope, and finding healing along the way.
Table of Contents
Healing Grief: Poems for Parents After Child Loss
“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”
If Only a Mother's Love Could Have Saved You
If only a mother’s love could have saved you,
Could have heard in the dark your heart’s cry,
She could have saved you yet both together,
Falling stars in a moonless sky.
Bones bear girth where once, wisdom birthed you.
Love shaped curves that held me (and you)—too.
If only a mother's love could have saved you,
Been there to catch your heart’s fall,
She could have stopped tears spilled by the heavens,
To where now and forever, you forever now reside.
Your descent of life hers, labored love borne,
On wings beating too wildly and too soon your own.
Your beat of heart hers, now her own to live on,
Sick pulse of ache holding death in her arms.
If only a mother’s love could have saved you
Could have heard in the dark your heart’s cry,
She could have saved you yet both together,
Falling stars in a moonless sky.
Oh my heart, and oh my son, without you life empties,
Yet love forever beats on. And so now, my forever,
“Why?” replete in my soul,
which has always—and still, child—
Moved in grooves you made whole.
If only a mother’s love could have saved you,
Could have heard in the dark your heart’s cry,
She could have saved you yet both together,
Falling stars in a moonless sky.
©Beth Brown, 2021
“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You:” A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide

Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere– Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon”

Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere-- Grief Poem "He Left Too Soon"
He Left Too Soon
He left too soon—
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain
His absence—
Breath of pain whose exhale can only bring
Heart heaving, this beating of tears
Breaking loose—
All hell in earth's upturned rupture,
Death shoveling shadows over me
As I bend to lay flowers on his name—
Inscribed and bronzed,
A permanence come to stay
My love laced now with pain—
Standing over my son's grave,
Death's Derecho come to stay in my shadow.
Beth Brown, copyright 2021, Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere--Grief Poem "He Left Too Soon"
“My Child on Earth Above In Heaven’s Care: A Lullaby of Hope”

My Child on Earth (Above In Heaven's Care)
As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall asleep, I pray for you
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too
My child, my love, my heart, May God keep and love you
And you will be forevermore
Safe from this world and so adored
And God will be your comforter
And I will always thank God for rescuing you
And I will always praise God for loving you too
And so I live my life in memory
Surrendering to God, what now must be
But here on earth I know the angels sing
When I hear your voice I know God’s listening
And I will always be your mother here
And I will speak your name for all to hear
And God will be with you ’til I get there
My child on earth above in heaven’s care
My child on earth above in heaven’s care-
©Beth Brown, 2021, "My Child on Earth Above in Heaven's Care, My Forever Son"
“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”
That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back
Should've, would've, could've,
If I'd only come to see,
That might I future forward live
To see all eternity.
That I might know when, and where somehow,
And here and now then see,
To erase the dark and stay the day
To bring back you to me.
If only and what if now child,
And why couldn't I just see,
To hold you close forever
Clutch you tight, just you and me.
That darkness might not permeate
My heart now and yours then,
That all of love could sweep time back
And bring back you again.
©Beth Brown, 2021, "That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back"

“Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon“

Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon
Once upon a blue-sky moon,
We sailed our ships in your bedroom,
With stars for light, we fled the dark
But the lightening flashed,
And the blue sky arced.
You tucked away your childhood dreams
On wings that soared beyond infinity,
Your love in me and me in you,
But out of reach, beyond what I could do.
I launched your dreams,
You took great flight
On wings alone you soared too high,
But you found ways to onward flee
To galaxies beyond my means.
I watched you drift through hazy sky,
And chalked it up to a teenage angst,
But oh my son, if I’d only known
I’d have reached right in to your dark night’s soul--
I would have held on,
I would have clutched you,
I would have never let you go
But you told me
“Mom I love you”
Oh my child, if I’d only known.
So I kissed you and I held you,
And I said goodbye,
Not knowing, blue-star moon,
I would lose you that night.
You lived, you breathed, alive in pain
Through storm-dark nights and cloudy haze,
But I didn’t know what I couldn’t see,
The damage done beyond my means.
My sky is dark, my nights deep blue
My winter’s come, my star’s with you,
Without you here, I cannot fly
My wings you clipped
When you took your life.
And I live on and onward flee
Towards you my son and to infinity,
Where dreams come true and you live on,
And we fly again around planets and sun.
With stars that glow against the moon,
Your love in me and me in you.
I will hold you,
You will clutch me,
We will never let go,
And you’ll tell me,
“Mom, I love you”
And tears from earth will overflow,
And I’ll know then, blue sky-moon,
To never ever let you go.
© Beth Brown, 2021
All rights reserved, "Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon"
“If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)“
If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)
If earth were sky and sky above
Then heart could hold this ache of love,
Suspended, like rain, in clouds wanting to fall,
But bound to sun’s joy because heart touches all.
I fall ‘ere so slowly most cannot yet tell
My pain lives so deep and my heart goes through hell.
I crawl more than walk through days such as these
Heavy with sorrow, wanting only ache relieved.
And yet truly what is can’t be undone,
I’ve lost my life in the loss of my son.
For seven years counting this marking of time
Having lost in him life, both his then and mine.
I stay hollow inside though try as I might
Come to from the damage of my now soiled life.
I’d rather be still with my son by my side
My heart filled with love and my joy still alive.
Beth Brown, 2021, " If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)"

Healing Through Poetry: Grieving a Child’s Loss to Suicide
POEMS FOR GRIEVING PARENTS
“I Will Seek Until I Find You” Poem: A Journey Through Grief
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Read MoreDerecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere – Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon”
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Read MoreHaunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling”
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Read More“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back” Poem
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Read More“Sorrow Buried in Love”: A Poem for Grieving Parents
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Read More“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide
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Read MoreWhen Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’
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Read More“Shaped by Love—And This Grief Come to Stay”
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Read More“Tillers of the Earth”: Grief and Resilience in Poetry
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Read More“If Earth Were Sky”: A Deep Reflection on Grief and Healing
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Read MoreThe Emotional Depth of ‘Beat Still My Heart’: A Powerful Elegy
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Read More“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope
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Read More“Bury My Heart”: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss
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Read More“He Left Too Soon” Poem: A Mother’s Deep Sorrow
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Read More“Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”: Poem on Child Loss
“Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”: A Poem on Losing a Child to Suicide Summary The poem “Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”: A Poem on Losing a Child to Suicide is a heartfelt piece on losing a child to suicide that explores the profound grief and longing experienced after such a tragic loss. The…
Read MoreMy Forever Son: Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide

Healing the Deep Wound of Losing My Son
Grief and Healing After Losing a Child: “To Hold This Pain and This Beauty Side-by- Side”
The light is soft, it is beautiful here, there is a breeze. The pain is always there for us. It will be waiting at the apartment when we return tonight, it will be lying next to us in bed or come to us when we wake; we always have it. But we have to let this beauty in, too. That will be the work of all the rest of our days: to hold this pain and this beauty side by side, without letting the one crush or crowd out the other. We have to let this beauty in, too.
Sarah Wildman, I Am Trying to See What My Beautiful Daughter Saw, Aug. 25, 2023, New York Times
Grieving the Deep Wound of Losing My Son
Healing the deep wound of losing my son is ongoing in my life. It always will be. Always he is there. In my sleep, my waking hours. On his birthday and mine. When on his memorial date I go to see him where he is not. His grave. For he walks with me. We remember, and I smile with love and with heartbreak. These are not easily separated. Ache and love walk together, joined in my heart.
In early grief, only ache flowed through me. All the time. Everywhere. In his room. In my work. I couldn’t breathe without him.
Healing Through Carrying Pain and Love Together
Now, thirteen years later, my love for my son and my ache of missing him have joined together. My ache is my love, and I have grown accustomed to carrying the weight. I have moved forward in my life. Not moved on, for that implies I left something, someone, behind.
Dylan is always with me. Nudging me to smile at the little things in life. The silly antics of my two rescue kittens. The depth and brilliance of my gardens–flowers, shrubs, trees, a water pond. He reminds me how precious life is. How fragile.
My Forever Son Reminds Me How Precious Life Is. How Fragile.
I capture life’s fragility in my photographs of my gardens. I find color, hope, and peace in nature. Spring brings the reawakening of all the flowers, shrubs, and trees that lay dormant over the long, cold, bitter months of winter. Each year, purple and yellow crocus emerge from their winter’s sleep, then yellow and white daffodils, and shortly thereafter, red tulips rising tall, even when cooler temperatures still prevail.
But come spring, when the brilliance of sun, blue skies, and flowers seemingly appear against an impossible, immutable winter, I find hope in nature’s resilience.
Finding Healing in Nature
I try to reorient myself walking each morning. I try to see the blooming flowers, the wild potato blossoms that run the stretch of the path near my home, the fecundity of August, the greenery that rushed in during the months since Orli left us here, to fend for ourselves. I find I cannot talk to people I see at the farmers market, but I can appreciate the ripening fruit, the taste of late summer, the heat in the skin of each peach.
Sarah Wildman, I Am Trying to See What My Beautiful Daughter Saw, Aug. 25, 2023, New York Times
I Couldn’t Save My Son: Grappling with Guilt in Grief
I still have a tendency to wake in the night and go over and over all of the things that went wrong and where I imagine I might have protected Orli. I berate myself for having failed her. It is completely irrational; it is also true. I could not save her; she could not be saved. I am her mother; ergo, I failed. In the light of day, I see the faulty logic of 4 a.m.
Sarah Wildman, I Am Trying to See What My Beautiful Daughter Saw, Aug. 25, 2023, New York Times
Coping with Guilt in Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide
It is not easy to reconcile the guilt of losing a child, the heaviness of the guilt of losing my only child. I included the passage above about Sarah Wildman’s guilt over losing her daughter because it so eloquently amplifies a parent’s response to losing a child.
Losing my son to suicide changed everything about my life. This blog, My Forever Son: Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, is my attempt to make sense of a world that can never make sense. Suicide doesn’t make sense. But finding a way to live in peace with who I am now does make sense. I live on that my son might live too.
Photographing My Gardens Brings Healing and Peace
Gardening, along with the art of photography and the expression of my emotions through poetry, blog posts, books, and songs, brings me solace. Preserving the temporal, ephemeral fragility of flowers in my photographs brings resolve and sometimes, even acceptance of what I can and cannot change in this life.
POEMS AND POETIC REFLECTIONS : HEALING GRIEF
“He Left Too Soon” Poem: A Mother’s Deep Sorrow
“He Left Too Soon, Lifting Life from June” Poem: A Mother’s Deep Sorrow Summary “He Left Too Soon” is a poem about the profound sorrow and anguish of losing a child to suicide. The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal experience of grief and healing after losing her son, Dylan, to suicide. Through her writing,…
Read More“I Will Seek Until I Find You” Poem: A Journey Through Grief
“I Will Seek Until I Find You” Poem: A Journey Through Grief Summary “I Will Seek Until I Find You” Poem: A Journey Through Grief explores the profound journey of grief after losing a child to suicide. It captures complex emotions, from sorrow to enduring love, while inviting readers to navigate their own paths of…
Read MoreIf Only a Mother’s Love: A Poem on Loss
If Only a Mother’s Love: A Poem on Loss Summary If Only a Mother’s Love: A Poem on Loss highlights the powerful poem “If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”which explores the profound grief of losing a child to suicide. It delves into themes of guilt, love, and the struggle to find healing.…
Read More“If Earth Were Sky”: A Deep Reflection on Grief and Healing
“If Earth Were Sky”: A Deep Reflection on Grief and Healing Summary “If Earth Were Sky”: A Deep Reflection on Grief and Healing depicts a deeply personal and emotional journey of losing a child to suicide. The author effectively conveys the profound impact of grief through heartfelt words and metaphors. The inclusion of related posts,…
Read More“Tillers of the Earth”: Grief and Resilience in Poetry
“Tillers of the Earth”: Grief and Resilience in Poetry Key Takeaways Summary “Tillers of the Earth”: Grief and Resilience in Poetry is a heartfelt reflection on the themes of love and loss, born from the deep and painful grief of the author following the heartbreaking suicide of her son. This poignant poem illuminates the cyclical…
Read MoreDerecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere – Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon”
Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere–Grief Poem, “He Left Too Soon” Summary Beth Brown’s poignant poem, “Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere -Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon,” skillfully intertwines the sorrow stemming from the loss of her son to suicide with the tumult wrought by a powerful Derecho storm that occurred on the day…
Read More“You’re Free Now Child”: A Tribute Song for Parents
“You’re Free Now Child”: A Tribute Song for Parents “You’re Free Now Child” “You’re Free Now Child”: A Tribute Song for Parents Introduction Discover “You’re Free Now Child”: A Tribute Song for Parents about the transformative healing power of music in this profoundly touching song about child loss and grief. This piece captures the overwhelming…
Read More“My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care”: A Lullaby of Hope
“My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care”: A Lullaby of Hope Summary Beth Brown, author of “My Forever Son,” wrote “My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care”: A Lullaby of Hope as a way to express her grief and hope after losing her son Dylan to suicide. The song, which began as a…
Read More“Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”: Poem on Child Loss
“Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”: A Poem on Losing a Child to Suicide Summary The poem “Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”: A Poem on Losing a Child to Suicide is a heartfelt piece on losing a child to suicide that explores the profound grief and longing experienced after such a tragic loss. The…
Read MoreNavigating Grief: 6 Years After My Son’s Suicide
Navigating Grief: 6 Years After My Son’s Suicide Navigating Grief: 6 Years After My Son’s Suicide reflects on the sixth anniversary of a mother’s grief after losing her son to suicide. It emphasizes the importance of connection and support found in grief groups, highlighting the author’s struggle with identity and the burden of grief. The…
Read More“Sorrow Buried in Love”: A Poem for Grieving Parents
Sorrow Buried in Love: A Poem for Grieving Parents Summary “Sorrow Buried in Love: A Poem for Grieving Parents” explores the profound grief and complex emotions experienced by parents who have lost a child to suicide. The poem emphasizes the importance of honoring the child’s memory while navigating the challenging path of healing, highlighting that…
Read MoreUnderstanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message
Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message Summary Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message explores the profound grief and regret of losing a child to suicide through the poem, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon,” by author Beth Brown. Through vivid imagery and heartfelt repetition, the poem captures the enduring love…
Read More“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back” Poem
“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back” Poem Summary “That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back,”a poignant grief poem by Beth Brown, explores the profound guilt and sorrow parents experience after losing a child to suicide. The poem delves into the haunting questions of “What If?” and “Why Didn’t I See?”, capturing the…
Read MoreThe Emotional Depth of ‘Beat Still My Heart’: A Powerful Elegy
The Emotional Depth of ‘Beat Still My Heart’: A Powerful Elegy Summary The Emotional Depth of ‘Beat Still My Heart’: A Powerful Elegy features the grief poem, “Beat Still My Heart,”a powerful elegy that uses shipwreck imagery to convey the grief of losing a child to suicide. The grief poem, written by Beth Brown, explores…
Read More“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope
“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope Summary “Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope addresses grieving parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child to suicide. It underscores the profound importance of honoring their child’s memory through meaningful rituals, sharing heartfelt stories, and engaging in advocacy events that…
Read More“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on the Devastating Loss of a Child to Suicide Summary The poem “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” in the post, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide explores the profound grief of losing a child to suicide. The author, Beth…
Read More“Bury My Heart”: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss
“Bury My Heart”: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss Summary “Bury My Heart”: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss is a poignant poem by Beth Brown, exploring the profound grief and longing experienced after losing a child to suicide. The poem delves into the author’s personal journey of navigating life without her son, Dylan, and…
Read More“Shaped by Love—And This Grief Come to Stay”
“Shaped by Love—And This Grief Come to Stay” Poem Summary “Shaped by Love—And This Grief Come to Stay” by Beth Brown explores the profound connection between love and grief following the loss of her son to suicide. The poem emphasizes the author’s refusal to change her narrative of grief, asserting her right to feel deeply…
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Author’s Note: A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son
Twelve years ago, I lost my 20-year-old son, Dylan, to suicide, a heartbreaking event that shattered my world and plunged me into a dark period of grief.
During those long months, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and thoughts, questioning everything around me and struggling to make sense of what will never make sense. I entered into a deep grief filled with solitude and despair, a darkness so bleak I questioned ever being able to see light again.
In the beginning, I had no words. No voice. No ability to express the grief I was feeling.
My words were lost in torrents of tears, in stark contrast to the vibrant discussions I used to lead in my college composition and literature classes.
Perhaps it’s important to preface that I was teaching college composition and literature when I lost my son to suicide, a tragedy that shattered all of me. The irony of discussing the complexities of human emotion with my students while grappling with my own profound sorrow was not lost on me.
Each day, I faced the challenge of maintaining my professional facade, all the while battling an internal tempest that seemed insurmountable, wondering how to bridge the chasm between my role as an educator and the personal devastation I was enduring.

My Life Before Losing My Son
Books, lectures, teaching—I once felt empowered by my voice, a resonant tool for sharing ideas and knowledge. It was a time when I believed in the strength of my words and the influence they carried, inspiring others to think deeply and engage in meaningful conversations.
I reveled in the connections I forged through sharing my thoughts, feeling a sense of purpose in my contributions to the world. But when Dylan died by suicide, I felt consumed by my grief. My heart collapsed inward in sharp pain, I retreated from the outside world, and my words eluded me.
Teaching was impossible. Losing Dylan shattered my life, leaving me, on the outside at least, grappling with an overwhelming silence that echoed louder than any lecture or written page.
On the inside, I was screaming sounds I did not recognize as my own.
The Depth of My Loss Brought My Life to a Standstill
The vibrant energy that once fueled my passion for writing vanquished, and I found myself questioning everything without being able to lend voice to the confusion and overwhelming feelings I was moving through in my grief.
The depth of my loss silenced the joy I once derived from sharing my thoughts and connecting with others.
All of my life came to a standstill as I entered a place of deep grief. It is only in retrospect and in these twelve years past my son’s suicide that I see how all-consuming my grief was.
Diminishing the confidence that fuels expression, my grief stifled my voice completely. It’s been a difficult battle to reclaim my sense of self amidst such sorrow.
A Poetic Quest for Self-Forgiveness and Healing
Journaling was awkward. I couldn’t put all the pain I was feeling into words that did justice to the enormity of my heartbreak. But I kept writing. Slowly, in keeping a record of my grief, I realized I was creating a poetic journey about losing a child to suicide.

“Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing”
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems and reflections by Beth Brown, the compassionate voice behind the My Forever Son blog. This poignant work navigates the deep, overwhelming sorrow that accompanies the tragic loss of a child to suicide. In her writing, Brown bravely shares her personal journey through grief, revealing how the act of writing poetry and connecting with the beauty of nature became vital sources of comfort and healing for her in the midst of such profound pain.
Through the author’s heartfelt verses, she reaches out with warmth and understanding to those who are journeying through their own sorrows. With her enchanting photography of the trees, shrubs, and flowers that grace her gardens throughout the seasons, Brown lovingly shares a beacon of hope, brightly illuminating the shadows cast by grief.
On Finding Hope: Photographing My Gardens Brings Healing
In nature, I find calm in the wake of profound sorrow and healing in the cycling of the seasons. Predictable. Beautiful in the spring, promising renewal after a long winter’s rest. Brilliant hues in the summer months. Autumn bringing trees and shrubs bejeweled in vivid reds, oranges, and reds. And then the stillness and monochromatic sketch of what can be a too long winter’s sleep.
Winter Wonderland: Captivating Photos in My Gardens













A Long Winter’s Rest for Trees, Shrubs, and Flowers
This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken.
This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken. An empty landscape. Gray skies for months. A blanket of snow in white, though only the stark limbs of trees and shrubs. At times, though, red berries appear on some shrubs, supplying food for birds and wildlife. All this to say I can’t see life against this wintry scene.
But in photographing nature through the seasons, I began to see (again), the brilliance of a long winter’s rest for trees, shrubs, and flowers. To study nature and botany is to realize that what appears lifeless is actually the process of life within all of nature renewing itself. Trusting in what I cannot see brings hope and healing.
Spring Brings Hope: Photographs of My Gardens














Spring Brings Beauty and Hope
Even against the cold remnants of a long winter–scattered clumps of snow, a robin redbreast plumped out to keep itself warm against a late March frost, brown dried leaves with nary a sign of color anywhere, spring breaks through. At first just small bits of color. A hint of purple as crocus push through thawing ground, then the vivid yellows of daffodils leaning towards the sun and the suddenness of blue bells. Rhododendron yawns and stretches its lavender limbs to awaken azalea, still sleepy with snow though greening beneath it all.
What seems forever gone in the gray doldrums of winter arrives with an abundance of joy come spring.
Writing My Way Through Grief to Find Hope and Healing
Snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections
Three years into my grief, I began writing journal entries. Short. A few feelings. About my day and where I was in my grief journey. Then slowly, snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections. Words shaped the deep feelings and emotional longing in my heart, and as I continued writing, I began to find small glimpses of hope in unexpected ways.
Photographing my gardens garnered a way to coalesce all the many feelings and words I’d been unable to express. And the more I photographed through the seasons, the more glimmers of hope I found along the way.
Each poignant poem in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a dedicated blog post in its own right, replete with the inspiration behind the poem.
The poems included in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing appear below. Each poem is a blog post in its own right, oftentimes replete with the inspiration behind the poem.
Each poem moves the reader through the profound emotions of grief and healing after losing a child.
Many of the poems tell narratives I remember from my son’s childhood. This is significant–reconstructing the narrative of our lives during his growing-up years brings release for all the love and beautiful memories before the trauma of losing him. Writing these poems and narratives, these poetic reflections on love and loss, have helped me learn to carry love and ache together.
Still I write. Still I heal. Still I miss my son.
From Shattered Hearts to Quiet Hope: Poems and Reflections for Parents of Suicide Loss
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
If you are reading this, you know the unique and overwhelming grief of losing a child to suicide. This collection is for you—a place to find words and images that honor your pain, offer comfort, and gently invite hope.
Curated by Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide, these poems and reflections move through the rawness of early trauma, the depths of acute grief, and the slow journey toward healing, even thirteen years later. Each post pairs heartfelt writing with stunning garden photography, inspired by Beth’s own search for solace in nature’s resilience.
Hope can be quiet—listen for it in moments of rest.
You are invited to explore at your own pace. Choose what resonates—whether it’s a poem that mirrors your sorrow, a reflection that offers comfort, or an image that whispers hope. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.
Contemplation Prompt:
Pause with a garden image. What does it say to you about survival, growth, or hope?
About the Author, Beth Brown: Writing My Way Through Grief
The love you shared endures beyond loss.
This collection is lovingly curated by Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. Over thirteen years, Beth’s journey through the depths of grief has been shaped by poetry, reflection, and the healing presence of her gardens. Through My Forever Son, she shares how nature’s resilience and beauty offer moments of solace and hope, even in the face of unimaginable loss.
Explore These Poems and Reflections at Your Own Pace
You are invited to explore these poems and reflections at your own pace. Each post pairs heartfelt words with stunning garden photography, offering comfort, understanding, and gentle encouragement for wherever you are in your grief. Select what speaks to you—let these pages be a companion on your path toward healing. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.
Journaling Prompt:
What memories of your child bring both tears and warmth? Write a few lines, letting your heart speak freely.
You are not alone. Healing is a journey, and hope can bloom—even here.
Message of Hope:
Even in the darkest seasons, a single flower can remind us that beauty and life persist. Let these poems be gentle companions as you move through your grief.
FIND HOPE HERE: POEMS AND POETIC REFLECTIONS ON GRIEF AND HEALING
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on the Devastating Loss of a Child to Suicide Summary The poem “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” in the post, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide explores the profound grief of losing a child to suicide. The author, Beth…
Read MoreUnderstanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message
Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message Summary Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message explores the profound grief and regret of losing a child to suicide through the poem, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon,” by author Beth Brown. Through vivid imagery and heartfelt repetition, the poem captures the enduring love…
Read More“He Left Too Soon” Poem: A Mother’s Deep Sorrow
“He Left Too Soon, Lifting Life from June” Poem: A Mother’s Deep Sorrow Summary “He Left Too Soon” is a poem about the profound sorrow and anguish of losing a child to suicide. The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal experience of grief and healing after losing her son, Dylan, to suicide. Through her writing,…
Read More“Sorrow Buried in Love”: A Poem for Grieving Parents
Sorrow Buried in Love: A Poem for Grieving Parents Summary “Sorrow Buried in Love: A Poem for Grieving Parents” explores the profound grief and complex emotions experienced by parents who have lost a child to suicide. The poem emphasizes the importance of honoring the child’s memory while navigating the challenging path of healing, highlighting that…
Read MoreHaunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling”
Haunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling” Summary Beth Brown, a devoted mother who suffered the heartbreaking loss of her son to suicide, recounts her profound journey of healing through the power of poetry in her poignant blog, My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide. In her deeply…
Read MoreThe Emotional Depth of ‘Beat Still My Heart’: A Powerful Elegy
The Emotional Depth of ‘Beat Still My Heart’: A Powerful Elegy Summary The Emotional Depth of ‘Beat Still My Heart’: A Powerful Elegy features the grief poem, “Beat Still My Heart,”a powerful elegy that uses shipwreck imagery to convey the grief of losing a child to suicide. The grief poem, written by Beth Brown, explores…
Read MoreIf Only a Mother’s Love: A Poem on Loss
If Only a Mother’s Love: A Poem on Loss Summary If Only a Mother’s Love: A Poem on Loss highlights the powerful poem “If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”which explores the profound grief of losing a child to suicide. It delves into themes of guilt, love, and the struggle to find healing.…
Read MoreFind Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing Summary Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems on love and loss that tenderly explores the profound pain of losing a child to suicide. The author, Beth Brown, shares her deeply personal journey through grief, illustrating how she…
Read More“Bury My Heart”: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss
“Bury My Heart”: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss Summary “Bury My Heart”: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss is a poignant poem by Beth Brown, exploring the profound grief and longing experienced after losing a child to suicide. The poem delves into the author’s personal journey of navigating life without her son, Dylan, and…
Read More“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back” Poem
“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back” Poem Summary “That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back,”a poignant grief poem by Beth Brown, explores the profound guilt and sorrow parents experience after losing a child to suicide. The poem delves into the haunting questions of “What If?” and “Why Didn’t I See?”, capturing the…
Read MoreDerecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere – Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon”
Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere–Grief Poem, “He Left Too Soon” Summary Beth Brown’s poignant poem, “Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere -Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon,” skillfully intertwines the sorrow stemming from the loss of her son to suicide with the tumult wrought by a powerful Derecho storm that occurred on the day…
Read MoreWhen Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’
When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ Summary When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ unravels the profound complexities surrounding suicide, featuring an impactful poem and a heartfelt treatise by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand.” This poignant article and poetic reflection encourage readers…
Read More“Tillers of the Earth”: Grief and Resilience in Poetry
“Tillers of the Earth”: Grief and Resilience in Poetry Key Takeaways Summary “Tillers of the Earth”: Grief and Resilience in Poetry is a heartfelt reflection on the themes of love and loss, born from the deep and painful grief of the author following the heartbreaking suicide of her son. This poignant poem illuminates the cyclical…
Read More“If Earth Were Sky”: A Deep Reflection on Grief and Healing
“If Earth Were Sky”: A Deep Reflection on Grief and Healing Summary “If Earth Were Sky”: A Deep Reflection on Grief and Healing depicts a deeply personal and emotional journey of losing a child to suicide. The author effectively conveys the profound impact of grief through heartfelt words and metaphors. The inclusion of related posts,…
Read More“Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”: Poem on Child Loss
“Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”: A Poem on Losing a Child to Suicide Summary The poem “Falling Stars in a Moonless Sky”: A Poem on Losing a Child to Suicide is a heartfelt piece on losing a child to suicide that explores the profound grief and longing experienced after such a tragic loss. The…
Read MoreThe Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience
The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience Summary The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience explores the author’s journey of grief through the metaphor of a Magnolia tree’s cyclical seasons. The author uses photography to illustrate the parallels between nature’s cycles and the seasons of grief, finding hope and healing in…
Read More“Shaped by Love—And This Grief Come to Stay”
“Shaped by Love—And This Grief Come to Stay” Poem Summary “Shaped by Love—And This Grief Come to Stay” by Beth Brown explores the profound connection between love and grief following the loss of her son to suicide. The poem emphasizes the author’s refusal to change her narrative of grief, asserting her right to feel deeply…
Read MoreFinding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing
Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing Key Takeaways Summary Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing shares author Beth Brown’s journey of grief and healing after losing her son, Dylan, to suicide. Through poetry and nature photography, she finds solace and a way to express her overwhelming emotions after suicide loss.…
Read More“Rain Comes to Heal Us All” Poem: Finding Hope After Loss
“Rain Comes to Heal Us All” Poem: Finding Hope After Losing a Child to Suicide Summary “Rain Comes to Heal Us All” Poem: Finding Hope After Loss conveys a powerful message of hope for parents grieving a child’s suicide. Acknowledging the profound sorrow of loss and the traumatic grief of losing a child to suicide,…
Read More“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope
“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope Summary “Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope addresses grieving parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child to suicide. It underscores the profound importance of honoring their child’s memory through meaningful rituals, sharing heartfelt stories, and engaging in advocacy events that…
Read MoreEmbracing Grief: A Mother’s Poetic Journey
From journaling to discovering the poetic language that encapsulates my grief, I penned my path to healing, culminating in the creation of my book, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide.
The anthology of poems in this book provides a profound and moving examination of grief, intricately intertwining original verses that delve into themes of loss, guilt, hope, self-forgiveness, and the path to healing. Expertly curated, the arrangement of poems invites deep reflection, serving as a treasured companion for those in search of solace and connection during difficult times.

Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources
Losing my son to suicide created a void of cataclysmic proportions in all areas of my life: professional, emotional, spiritual, community, friends, physical, health.
Finding Beauty After Loss: Poetic Reflections is an exploration of how navigating profound grief meant finding support, which you can read about here: Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources.
My well-being turned in the split second I learned my son had died by suicide, and it would be a long time coming before I could pick up the pieces of my life to move forward in grief, carrying love along with the permanent ache of losing my son.

Coping with the Grief of Losing a Child to Suicide
Acute grief plunged my heart, soul, and sense of who I was into a chasm of despair. Coping with the Grief of Losing a Child to Suicide shares the ferocity of my grief in the immediacy of my son’s suicide. Weeping even in my sleep, broken even as I was, I didn’t believe that the acute pain of early grief would ever cease. As I write, it’s been 12 years since Dylan died. My grief has changed shape over the course of my grieving, softening in the intensity of the agonizing sharp pain of my early grief.

Finding Hope, Healing, and Resilience in Nature
Finding Hope, Healing, and Resilience in Nature explores the journey of finding hope and healing through nature after the loss of a child. It illustrates the emotional connection we can forge with the natural world, highlighting its ability to soothe our grief. The arrival of spring symbolizes hope and renewal, reminding us of the resilience within us. The author emphasizes the spirit of spring, encouraging patience during life’s challenges while imparting a heartfelt message of trust and enduring hope.
A Note from the Author
I am no longer in the dark place where my son’s suicide left me, though I carry his ache and love with me always. While Dylan’s absence lingers, I’ve learned to embrace good memories, guiding me toward healing. Over a decade has passed since my son’s suicide. Time hasn’t healed my grief, but it has moved me beyond acute trauma to glimpses of hope and happiness. Losing my son has forever changed me, but I’ve found healing by carrying both ache and love for him.
Glimpses of Hope in Small Things
I find hope in small things—my gardens, a cup of tea, and sunshine streaming through the window. I honor Dylan’s memory by connecting with others, sharing my story, and advocating for mental health awareness, determined that his legacy inspires support for those in similar struggles. Writing has helped me release my grief. While hope and healing may feel distant, they have gently found me in my reality: living each day without my son.

Three Years of Grief and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide
Three Years of Grief and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide is a profoundly touching collection of journals from the author’s journey through grief, hope, and healing, marking three years since losing her son, Dylan, to suicide. She has faced numerous challenges, grappling with emotions like anger and despair, ultimately discovering moments of clarity and acceptance. The thoughtfully selected images, often featuring her gardens, provide a visual reprieve and deepen the emotional impact of her words, inviting readers to reflect on their own healing.
Glimpses of Hope Amidst Darkness
Each entry in Three Years of Grief and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide illustrates her evolving grief and highlights how she finds glimmers of hope amidst darkness, encouraging others to embrace vulnerability and share their own stories. Through her candid reflections, the author offers companionship to those navigating their grief, reminding them they are not alone on this arduous journey.

Finding Hope in Nature’s Resilience Through Spring Flowers
In Finding Hope in Nature’s Resilience Through Spring Flowers, the author finds solace and healing in nature’s resilience, particularly during spring, after losing her son to suicide. The cyclical nature of the seasons, with the promise of renewal and rebirth, mirrors the author’s journey through grief and the hope for healing. Through journaling and photography, the author captures the beauty of nature and finds a poetic way to express her sorrow and search for self-forgiveness.
A Note from the Author
It’s true that one never fully “heals” from the loss of a child to suicide, yet I have gradually begun to bridge the profound gap between my own grief and the world around me, even if it happens at a pace that, at times, feels ‘ere so slow. I find profound hope and beauty in nature, and in its changing seasons, the steadfastness of life. Finding Hope in Nature’s Resilience Through Spring Flowers has been integral to moving through my grief after losing my 20-year-old-son, my only child, to suicide eleven years ago.

Matins: Reflections on Hope After Loss
Matins: Reflections on Hope After Loss explores the heart-wrenching journey of grief and healing following the loss of her son, Dylan, to suicide. She shares how grief can strike unexpectedly, flooding her with overwhelming despair. The struggle to rediscover joy after such a profound loss feels like an uphill battle, as even the smallest moments can be shadowed by sorrow. Learning to navigate life without him is a daunting challenge, with constant reminders of the void he left in her heart and home.
Yet, amidst the pain, the author finds comfort in fleeting moments—whether it’s a gentle breeze that whispers memories of Dylan or a warm smile from friends who truly understand her heartbreak. She clings to the hope of a future reunion with him, which gently guides her through the darkness. Ultimately, she comes to understand that honoring Dylan’s memory not only keeps his spirit alive but also provides her with the strength she needs to embrace each new day.

Coping with Guilt After Losing a Child to Suicide
Suicide is an out of the natural order of life death, a perpetual questioning of why they took their life, a constant review of what if? if only. . .and should have, could have, would have.
Beth Brown, Coping with Guilt After Losing a Child to Suicide, My Forever Son
Coping with Guilt After Losing a Child to Suicide is a poignant and compassionate exploration of the overwhelming emotions and hurdles parents face following the tragic loss of a child to suicide. This heartfelt post delves deep into the raw and complex journey, offering understanding, support, and guidance tailored specifically for grieving families. It features meaningful quotes from mental health professionals and fellow bereaved parents, relating to other relevant posts that discuss different aspects of loss and resilience.
Crucial resources for seeking professional help, including hotlines, support groups, and therapy options, are provided to foster emotional recovery. This article addresses unspoken feelings of guilt and isolation, validating parents’ pain while inspiring hope through shared stories and coping strategies. The post encourages dialogue around mental health and underscores the importance of community support in healing.

“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”: Poem on Guilt in Grief Poem
That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”: Poem on Guilt in Grief Poem is a poignant poem exploring the guilt parents face after losing a child to suicide. It captures the emotional anguish of “What If?” and “Why Didn’t I See?” reflecting the deep sorrow of their grieving journey. Each line invites readers to experience the despair of such a loss while suggesting that love can illuminate dark moments. The poem provides insight into the author’s experience with loss, using vivid imagery to express the tidal wave of emotions that follow. The blend of poetry, personal anecdotes, and support resources amplifies the author’s voice and connects with the audience, encouraging exploration of their own feelings about loss.

Self-Blame and Guilt–I Couldn’t Save My Son
Self-Blame and Guilt—I Couldn’t Save My Son explores the heavy burden of self-blame and guilt many parents endure after losing a child to suicide. It addresses the struggle between cherishing memories and confronting harsh realities that feel insurmountable. Parents often grapple with guilt, wondering if they could have intervened or recognized their child’s distress. This journey through sorrow is intertwined with societal stigma and expectations about grieving. Finding healthy outlets for these feelings, like therapy or creative expression, can be healing.

Haunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling”
Haunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling” offers a personal exploration of grief and guilt after losing a child to suicide, a tragedy that affects many parents and caregivers. This collection includes the featured poem along with others that examine loss and healing, providing various perspectives on mourning. It also offers resources for support, guiding readers through their darkest moments while fostering community and understanding. The poem, “Still from Sky I’m Falling,” encapsulates the emotions of this journey, inviting readers to reflect on their own experiences of grief.

Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources
Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources is a compassionate guide for parents devastated by the loss of a child to suicide. It addresses the complex emotions of grief and emphasizes the importance of self-care, professional help, and support groups. The resource also shares coping strategies like creative pursuits, finding peace in nature, and honoring your child’s memory.
What I have learned these past 12 years of grief and healing is that my love was not enough to save my son, to protect my son, to prevent his suicide. Love, no matter how strong the connection, cannot prevent death.
Beth Brown, Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources, My Forever Son
The Story of My Forever Son

What Happened? The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief
I started this blog, My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide in 2015, three years into my journey of grief. You can read more about what happened here: The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief recounts the author’s harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Her story highlights her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing, especially through works like the “If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)” poem: reflections on love and loss. The blog “My Forever Son” came about as a way for the author to work through this devastating grief that follows the loss of a child to suicide. My Forever Son blog serves as a platform for sharing experiences and finding healing and solace in community.

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing offers a heartfelt collection of poems that deeply resonate with the profound sorrow of parents who have experienced the unimaginable pain of losing a child to suicide. These poignant verses navigate the intense emotions of this tragic loss, beautifully capturing the stages of grief while gently guiding readers towards hope and healing on their journey through grief.

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience
The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience, explores the author’s journey of grief through the metaphor of a Magnolia tree’s cyclical seasons. The author uses photography to illustrate the parallels between nature’s cycles and the seasons of grief, finding hope and healing in writing, gardening, and nature’s resilience. The Magnolia tree’s resilience symbolizes renewal and the possibility of finding joy again despite profound heartbreak. After reflections on nature’s resilience, the author reflects on grief and healing (echoes of joy and shadows of loss) after losing her son to suicide.

Understanding the Unique Aspects of Suicide Grief
Understanding the Unique Aspects of Suicide Grief compassionately delves into the profound challenges of navigating the grief that follows a suicide. The author, who has experienced the heart-wrenching loss of her son, shares her deeply moving personal journey, offering comfort and understanding to those who find themselves in similar anguish. This heartfelt post not only shares her story but also provides a thoughtful collection of articles and professional resources, aimed at helping parents cope with the unimaginable pain of losing a child to suicide.

Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide
Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide offers a gentle and understanding perspective on the complex emotions that emerge after the devastating loss of a loved one through suicide, particularly from the vantage point of parents.This guide thoughtfully addresses the overwhelming and often contradictory feelings of grief, guilt, and sorrow that can envelop parents navigating such profound heartache.

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents
Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents gently supports parents navigating the profound sorrow of losing a child to suicide. This heartfelt article acknowledges the intense grief that such a tragedy brings and offers compassionate guidance on finding a way forward. The healing strategies shared emphasize self-care and the importance of seeking professional help, while inviting parents to connect with others who understand their pain.

Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss
I have shared my grief journey on this blog, My Forever Son, reflecting on those painful early years and sharing glimmers of hope along the way. Through sleepless nights and tears, I found that my deep love for my son sustains me through his absence.
Carrying both ache and love after losing my son to suicide has been the crux of my grief journey these past 12 years. I share insights into healing from deep grief in the article, Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss, where ache for his absence and love for my son walk together in my heart. Holding hands, one is never without the other, but ache and love have carried me—and carry me still.

When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”
When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” explores the difficult topic of suicide through the touching treatise, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” which challenges the idea that it is just a choice. This meaningful work discusses the certainty of death, no matter the cause, and the limits of love in preventing such loss. Beth Brown, who wrote both the treatise and this article, shares her personal journey of grief after losing her son to suicide, finding comfort in writing and nature photography.
Meet Dylan, My Forever Son

Twenty Years of Love: Dylan
Twenty Years of Love: Dylan offers a poignant exploration of grief and loss, blending together cherished memories and reflections on Dylan’s life. The emotional resonance of this piece is deeply felt, beautifully portraying both the love and sorrow that the author carries in their heart. The thoughtful inclusion of links to further readings about Dylan and resources for support is a compassionate touch that adds immense value to those who may be navigating similar journeys.

Walking Through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide
Walking through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide offers a deeply moving and heartfelt narrative that illuminates the unimaginable pain of losing a child to suicide. The personal stories shared create a sincere and unfiltered glimpse into the heavy journey of grief and the gradual path toward healing. Through poignant reflections and a poetic exploration on grief, the author navigates the chaotic emotions that accompany such a catastrophic event, revealing both the struggles and the moments of unexpected solace that can emerge even in the darkest times.

I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son
I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son lovingly encapsulates the profound heartache and cherished memories tied to the author’s beloved son, Dylan. Through heartfelt imagery and poignant personal stories, it invites readers to share in an emotional journey that resonates deeply, fostering a compassionate understanding of loss and love.

I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide
I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide is a heartfelt collection of personal reflections and cherished memories that navigates the profound journey of grief and hope following the heartbreaking loss of a son to suicide. The rawness of the emotions is deeply felt, drawing readers into a shared space of empathy. Through vivid descriptions and nostalgic elements, the work evokes a sense of connection and understanding, while the stunning images inspire hope and healing amidst the sorrow.

Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts
Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts invites readers into the heart/h-wrenching yet beautifully profound journey of a mother’s grief after the devastating loss of her beloved 20-year-old son, Dylan, who tragically died by suicide. Through a heartfelt collection of original poems and personal reflections, she courageously shares the painful complexities of her sorrow, the small moments of hope that emerged, and her ongoing path toward healing.
Heartfelt Stories and Poems of Love and Loss

“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide delves into the deep, heart-wrenching sorrow of losing a child to suicide. This poignant piece not only articulates the immense pain of such a loss but also provides vital resources to navigate the challenging journey of grief. With tender personal reflections and thoughtful coping strategies, the post and poem, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” serves as a compassionate companion for those who are enduring similar heartaches.

A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table
A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table chronicles a family’s journey through the loss of their beloved son, Dylan. This tragedy alters their connections, turning a joyful gathering space into one of reflection. The narrative captures the struggle between despair and acceptance, underscoring love’s enduring power amidst heartache. In honoring Dylan’s memory, they find unexpected joy in their grief, illustrating the resilience of the human spirit in the face of loss.

Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide
Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide gently delves into the profound and heart-wrenching sorrow experienced by grandparents who endure the unimaginable loss of their grandchild. This painful journey envelops them in a dual mourning, as they grieve not only the precious life that is gone but also the shattered dreams and cherished memories that will sorrowfully remain unrealized for their own child, the grieving parent.

Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy
Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy beautifully captures the deep sorrow and unwavering love a mother feels for her son. The author bravely shares her heartfelt journey, navigating the immense pain and heartbreak tied to her son’s fourth suicide attempt on Memorial Day. Through her poignant narrative, she reveals the complex layers of a mother’s grief, intricately woven with fleeting moments of hope that resonate powerfully with anyone who is facing loss.

“Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay”: A Poem on Suicide Loss
Holding True to My Son’s Narrative: “Shaped by Love” Poem Analysis explores the profound sorrow a parent endures after losing a child to suicide. It addresses themes of grief and guilt, highlighting the heavy shadow such a tragedy casts on life. This poignant narrative captures a parent’s transformative journey in the wake of their child’s absence, revealing emotions of shame while confronting societal stigma surrounding suicide. With compassion and insight, the poem resonates with anyone who has faced similar heart-wrenching experiences.

11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe
11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe powerfully conveys the depths of my unyielding grief and a relentless yearning for my beloved son, Dylan, whose vibrant spirit was tragically stolen by suicide eleven heart-wrenching years ago at merely twenty. As my only child, his absence has carved an immense void in my soul, reshaping every facet of my life while perpetually stirring the cherished memories of the beautiful moments we once savored together.
A Lullaby: “My Child on Earth Above (In Heaven’s Care)“

My Child on Earth Above (In Heaven’s Care)
My Child on Earth Above (In Heaven's Care)
As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall asleep, I pray for you
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too
My child, my love, my heart, May God keep and love you
And you will be forevermore
Safe from this world and so adored
And God will be your comforter
And I will always thank God for rescuing you
And I will always praise God for loving you too
And so I live my life in memory
Surrendering to God, what now must be
But here on earth I know the angels sing
When I hear your voice I know God’s listening
And I will always be your mother here
And I will speak your name for all to hear
And God will be with you ’til I get there
My child on earth above in heaven’s care
My child on earth above in heaven’s care-
Beth Brown, "My Child on Earth Above (In Heaven's Care)
Healing Words: Download 3 Compassionate Poems for Coping with the Loss of a Child


If You Need Immediate Support
Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.
Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.
HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.
Professional Organizations
American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.
The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.
Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.
LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.
Crisis Services
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.
Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.
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