My Forever Son: Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
Grief, remembrance, and healing after losing a child to suicide
Written in memory of Dylan Andrew Brown, March 19, 1992–June 25, 2012.
“What is grief, if not love persevering?”
Start here: If you have just arrived in the aftermath of loss, begin with If You Just Lost Your Child. For immediate support, visit Surviving the Suicide of Your Child. To better understand the landscape of this grief, read Understanding Suicide Grief. If guilt feels especially heavy, begin with Navigating Guilt After Suicide Loss. If you would like to know more about me and the heart behind this work, you are warmly invited to visit the About page.
What You’ll Find Here
This is a place for grieving parents to rest, remember, and find words for what feels unspeakable. Here, sorrow is met with tenderness, and healing is honored as a long and faithful unfolding.
In This Space
- Garden photographs offer moments of stillness—small scenes of beauty, endurance, and quiet peace.
- Poems trace the language of grief—love, bewilderment, longing, and the search for light.
- Personal essays and reflections bear witness to loss while gently making room for meaning, memory, and hope.
If you would like to linger a little longer, these readings gather some of the pieces closest to the heart of this work.
Related Reads
Support Resources
If today feels especially heavy, I hope these resources offer a place to begin—some for ongoing support after suicide loss, others for immediate crisis care.
Resources for Suicide Loss Survivors
- After a Suicide Resource Directory — personalgriefcoach.net: a practical directory for those grieving a suicide death.
- Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors — allianceofhope.org: information, a blog, and an online forum for survivors.
- Friends for Survival — friendsforsurvival.org: support, a helpline, and community resources.
- HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide — heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org: support groups, information, and help starting local chapters.
Professional Organizations
- American Association of Suicidology — suicidology.org: education, training, and survivor resources.
- The Compassionate Friends — compassionatefriends.org: support groups, community, and publications for bereaved families.
- The Dougy Center — dougy.org: grief resources for children, teens, and families.
- Link’s National Resource Center — thelink.org: suicide prevention, aftercare, and support resources.
- TAPS — taps.org: peer support and grief care after the death of a military loved one.
- LOSS — losscs.org: support groups, remembrance events, and postvention education.
Crisis Services
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — 988lifeline.org: call or text 988 anytime for free, confidential support.
- Crisis Text Line — crisistextline.org: text TALK to 741741 for English or AYUDA to 741741 for Spanish for free, 24/7 support.
A Note from the Author
I am a mother and writer shaped by love, loss, and remembrance. After losing my son Dylan to suicide, I began writing to hold grief, honor his life, and offer companionship to other bereaved parents through essays, poems, photographs, and practical resources.
Years later, grief has not disappeared; it has changed shape. I carry my son with me in the beauty of my gardens, in small daily mercies, and in the tenderness that remains after heartbreak. Writing is one way I continue to love him and to walk beside others on this difficult road.
In the garden, I return again and again to the quiet lessons of endurance: crocus through frozen ground, daffodils opening to spring light, tulips rising after winter. Nature reminds me that life is fragile, but also persistent—and that hope can appear where it once seemed impossible.