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Coping with Regret and Guilt After Your Child’s Death by Suicide: “I Want to Believe”
I Want to Believe– I Want to Believe- –that with enough love and laughter, books and reading, friends and family, children grow up to be happy –the stage is set early for dreams to come true: Skies dazzle in brilliant blue, clouds drift idly, stretches of pastures and woodlands lend serenity -all families stick together–even…
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Poems About Losing a Child
A Poem of Love, Loss, and Hope: “Tillers of the Earth” By Beth Brown Post date January 19, 2021 A Poem of Love, Loss, and Hope: “Tillers of the Earth and Tenders of the Soil” Tillers of the Earth and Tenders of the Soil We are the tillers of the earth and the tenders of the…
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Finding Help, Hope, and Healing After Suicide Loss: Support, Books, and Resources
Few things can so devastate us as the suicide of a loved one, especially of one’s own child. Fr Ron Rolheiser If You’ve Lost a Child to Suicide These Resources May Be Helpful . . .the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that after a stable period from 2000 to 2007, the rate of…
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“When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched”-On Suicide and Despair
That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve, If I’d only Come to See, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know when and where somehow, And here and now then see, To erase the dark and stay…
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Rising Up-Because Love Lives Forever
Rising Up because… Love lives forever. My son lives yet still. I will be with Dylan again. As long I live, Dylan lives too. Dylan lives on through all that I am. Dylan’s voice is now my own. Beth Brown, My Forever Son Rising Up because… I will not let the world forget my son…
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Suicide is Not a Choice: Surviving Infinite Grief After the Suicide of My Child
Surviving Your Child’s Suicide Suicide is Not a Choice Current research absolutely supports the validity of mental illness. Current research and researchers in the mental health field know indelibly that suicide is not a choice your child makes. Beth Brown, My Forever Son Stopping the Stigma of Suicide Suicide is not a blot on anyone’s…
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How to Survive the Death of a Child By Suicide-Support, Resources, and Hope
The following resources, book lists, narratives from parents who have lost a child to suicide, support groups, and more are meant to be a resource bank. Many have helped me keep on keeping on these past nine years of grieving.
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A Poem about Losing a Child to Suicide: “That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”
“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back” That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve, If I’d only Come to See, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know when and where somehow, And here and now then see, To erase the dark and stay…
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A Song About Losing My Child-Lullaby for Dylan
I wrote and recorded this song, “My Child Above (In Heaven’s Care) for my son Dylan. I’ve written 18 songs altogether about losing my son to suicide. Each song is born from a grief too deep for expression in any language save music. “My Child Above (In Heaven’s Care” is a lullaby. Dylan is, was,…
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Why? After the Suicide of My Son-A Mother Remembers
I Will Seek Until I Find You And where will you run when arms reach (but you’re not mine) When I can feel still so strongly (holding you still in my arms) From here frantic I search wildly (but cannot ever now find) Little one in pictures (trying hard for one so young) Standing, but…
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A Poem about Losing a Child to Suicide-“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”
“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You” by Beth Brown Bones bear girth where once, love birthed you, arms cradled and rocking, love holding me to you. If only a mother’s love could have saved you, been there to catch your fall tears stilled by the heavens to where now and forever,…
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From Sorrow to Joy : How Pain Colors Loss
Choose Hope It’s on my refrigerator door–a small, rectangular magnet wedged between a “Choose Hope” magnet and a photograph of my son. The image on the magnet startles. Think Edvard Munch crossed with Vincent Van Gogh. An image depicting a bit of both artists: the sheer starkness of Munch’s scream on a yellow-splashed figure with…
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What’s Included in “My Forever Son” Chronicles?
What Content is Included in My Forever Son?
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About Me
Hi, I’m Beth. Join me here at My Forever Son for deep reflection about losing my son, Dylan, and Gardens at Effingham, where cats tell delightful stories about their garden adventures. I spend most of my time with Most Beloved in my music studio where I come to write, hole up, play my guitar, & create–art, music, blogs, & books. But this blog holds a special place in my heart because in sharing my story, my son’s story, & the journey back from complete despair to a life filled even sometimes with joy, I hope you, too, will find healing along the way.
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My Forever Son
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Surviving Suicide Grief: “Does the Pain Ever End?”
The Pain Does Change “To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to behere and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain doeschange, it softens. You will want to live again and be able to enjoylife again. It will never be like before but the crushing, allconsuming pain…
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“I Will Seek Until I Find You”-A Poem About Losing a Child
I Will Seek Until I Find You I Will Seek Until I Find You And where will you run when arms reach (but you’re not mine) When I can feel still so strongly (holding you still in my arms) From here frantic I search wildly (but cannot ever now find) Little one in pictures (trying…
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A Short Animated Video-“I Had a Black Dog, His Name Was Depression”
Depression Yes. Just yes. I struggle with depression. I battle with depression. Sometimes daily, consuming every waking and sleeping moment. Sometimes randomly. No apparent reason that anyone else can see. Depression is a black dog. Great video depiction. Dylan struggled with depression-deep, deep dark depression. He fought for a long time and fooled us all…
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The Pain of Suicide: It’s Not About Wanting to Die, It’s About Wanting the Pain to Stop
The Pain of Suicide Video: Learning More About Suicide 10 Commonalities of Suicide Below are 10 commonalities of suicide, identified by suicide expert, Edwin Shneidman, author of The Suicidal Mind. The common purpose of suicide is to seek a solution: A suicidal person is seeking a solution to a problem that is “generating intense suffering”…
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A Song About Losing My Child-“You’re Free Now Child”
You’re Free Now Child I can’t see where you’ve gone And I don’t know how to just go on Without you can’t find my way Don’t know where to go or what to say How to breathe without you now When it aches upon my soul In my heart, you live forever, with me by…
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New in the Holiday Grief Series-Handling the Holidays After Suicide Loss
Healing Through the Holidays Nine years. 3,435 days. Umpteen breaths exhaled grieving. The impossible journey to learn to breathe in again. To breathe past your exhale. To breathe in because it’s in the inhale that air floods senses, whooshes down the windpipe, pumps air into filling lungs and language, words that wrap and shape around…
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My Forever Son-Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After the Death of My Son By Suicide 