My Forever Son: Latest Blog Posts
Where to Find Support, Resources, and Hope-Losing a Child to Suicide
The following resources, book lists, narratives from parents who have lost a child to suicide, support groups, and more are meant to be a resource bank. Many have helped me keep on keeping on these past nine years of grieving.
Suicide Loss and Complicated Grief-When Grief Gets Stuck
Isn’t All Grief Complicated? I am a bereaved parent of an only child who died by suicide in 2012. Does that mean I had (and still have–on some days), “Complicated Grief”? The Shape of My Grief When I lost my only child, my 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide in June of 2012, no one referred […]
From Sorrow to Joy : How Pain Colors Loss
It’s on my refrigerator door–a small, rectangular magnet wedged between a “Choose Hope” magnet and a photograph of my son. The image on the magnet startles. Think Edvard Munch crossed with Vincent Van Gogh. An image depicting a bit of both artists: the sheer starkness of Munch’s scream on a yellow-splashed figure with arms uplifted […]
Where to Go for Support After Suicide Loss
. . .the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that after a stable period from 2000 to 2007, the rate of suicide among those aged 10 to 24 increased dramatically — by 56 percent — between 2007 and 2017, making suicide the second leading cause of death in this age group, following accidents like […]
Is Suicide Really a Choice?
The Stigma of Suicide That we must even ponder: “Is suicide really a choice?” reflects a still pervasive stigma of suicide that somehow, losing a loved one to death by suicide can be controlled–that losing a loved one could have, might have been prevented; that we missed something, a fatal flaw in the way we […]
“Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”–A Poem about Child Loss
Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon A Poem for Dylan by Beth Brown And once upon a blue-sky moon, We sailed our ships in your bedroom, With stars for light, we fled the dark But the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark. You tucked away your childhood dreams On wings that soared beyond infinity, Your […]
A Song and Video about Losing a Child to Suicide: “How Do You Get that Lonely?”
What Happened? Reflections on Dylan’s Birthday In 9 days, it will be my son’s 24th birthday, here, in earth years. In heaven, it will be Dylan’s 4th year birthday. This all seems to me still so surreal, so post-apacolytpic. I can’t find my footing. I am on the wrong road. I’ve gotten lost and somehow, […]
“If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)”– A Poem of Love and Loss
If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above) By Beth Brown If earth were sky and sky above Then heart could hold this ache of love, Suspended, like rain, in clouds wanting to fall, But bound to sun’s joy because heart touches all. I fall ‘ere so slowly most cannot yet tell My pain lives so […]
“Bury My Heart”– A Poem for Dylan
Bury my heart I’ve come undone Sorting through this life My son left behind. And what I’m seeking I know I’ll never find His touch, his smile— His still living his life. And so instead I sift through A still life dream My heart and life with him Forever it seemed. And oh my son […]
“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”–A Poem of Longing
If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You by Beth Brown Bones bear girth where once, love birthed you, arms cradled and rocking, love holding you to you. If only a mother’s love could have saved you, been there to catch you fall tears stilled by the heavens to where now and […]
About Dylan
“Sometimes I touch the things you used to touch, looking for echoes of your fingers.” ~ Iain Thomas What was his full name? Dylan Andrew Brown Where was he born? The Ohio State University Hospital What was his favorite TV show? Anything comedy central, cartoon network, and/or history channel. Especially Jon Stewart. Throughout the years, […]
Books for Loss Survivors
Loss Survivors A Note About Terminology: Loss Survivors are also called Survivors of Suicide–a confusing term used to depict those left behind after the suicide of a loved one. Using Loss Survivors as a term clarifies the confusion between the semantics of Survivors of Suicide–who are loss survivors–and Suicide Survivors (those who have attempted suicide […]
Rising Up–Because Love Lives Forever
Rising Up because… Love lives forever. My son lives yet still. I will be with Dylan again. As long I live, Dylan lives too. Dylan lives on through all that I am. Dylan’s voice is now my own. Rising Up because… I will not let the world forget my son lived. My memories, stories, and […]
A Poem of Love, Loss, and Hope: “Tillers of the Earth”
A Poem of Love, Loss, and Hope Tillers of the Earth by Beth Brown
A Prayer for the Unanswerable Question of Suicide
A Poem brought to the dedication of the International Suicide Memorial Wall in Nashville, Tennessee, held in May of 2019. The original poem has been revised to reflect all who have lost a loved one to suicide and who now must live with the ongoing and forever unanswerable “why?” A Prayer for the Unanswerable Question […]
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About Me
Hi, I’m Beth. Join me here at My Forever Son for deep reflection about losing my son, Dylan, and Gardens at Effingham, where cats tell delightful stories about their garden adventures. I spend most of my time with Most Beloved in my music studio where I come to write, hole up, play my guitar, & create–art, music, blogs, & books. But this blog holds a special place in my heart because in sharing my story, my son’s story, & the journey back from complete despair to a life filled even sometimes with joy, I hope you, too, will find healing along the way.
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