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My Forever Son: Latest Blog Posts

A Poem About Losing a Child to Suicide-“Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”

Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon A Poem for Dylan by Beth Brown And once upon a blue-sky moon, We sailed our ships in your bedroom, With stars for light, we fled the dark But the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark. You tucked away your childhood dreams On wings […]

When Pain Comes to Stay: “He Left Too Soon,” A Poem About Losing a Child

He Left Too Soon He left too soon— Lifting life from June, Casting torrents of rain His absence— Breath of pain whose exhale can only bring Heart heaving, this beating of tears Breaking loose— All hell in earth’s upturned rupture, Death shoveling shadows over me As I bend to lay flowers upon his name— Inscribed […]

The Pain of Suicide: It’s Not About Wanting to Die, It’s About Wanting the Pain to Stop

The Pain of Suicide Know you can survive; you may not think so, but you can. Iris M. Bolton, “Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors” 10 Commonalities of Suicide Below are 10 commonalities of suicide, identified by suicide expert, Edwin Shneidman, author of The Suicidal Mind. 10 Commonalities of Suicide The common purpose of suicide is […]

I Lost My Son to Suicide-Here’s How I Survive Suicide Grief

“Few things can so devastate us as the suicide of a loved one, especially of one’s own child.” Fr Ron Rolheiser Mother of a Teenage Suicide I am the mother of a young suicide. Changed, forever changed, by the death of my 20-year-old son, Dylan Andrew Brown, 3 years and nearly 4 months ago. I […]

Purple phlox in bloom is next to a water pond with 2 waterfalls.

About Dylan

My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After the Death of My Son By Suicide And once upon a blue-sky moon, We sailed our ships in your bedroom, With stars for light, we fled the dark But the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark. Beth Brown, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon” “Sometimes I […]

Why? After the Suicide of My Son-A Mother Remembers

The beat of my heart shaped by you. The song of you which still now I sing.   And yet perhaps you could not hear above the deafening roar of your heart’s ache. Beth Brown, “Why?” After the Suicide of My Son-A Mother Remembers My Forever Son, Dylan Andrew Brown The beat of my heart shaped by […]

A Poem about Losing a Child to Suicide-That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back

That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve, If I’d only Come to See, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know when and where somehow, And here and now then see, To erase the dark and stay […]

Hope

“When Someone Takes His Own Life”-Depression and Suicide

“When Someone Takes His Own Life” Excerpt from “The Healing of Sorrow” Norman Vincent Peale In many ways, this seems the most tragic form of death. Certainly itcan entail more shock and grief for those who are left behind than anyother. And often the stigma of suicide is what rests most heavily onthose left behind. […]

Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere

Heart heaving, this beating of tearsBreaking loose—All hell in earth’s upturned rupture Beth Brown, “Derecho” My Forever Son June 29, 2012–Funeral for my son. 101 degrees dropping to 73 degrees in a matter of minutes. Whirling wind. Gusts of whipping wind. Snapping wind. Dark skies. Clotted clouds. Midday sun going away–suddenly. A piercing dark. A […]

From Sorrow to Joy : How Pain Colors Loss

It’s on my refrigerator door–a small, rectangular magnet wedged between a “Choose Hope” magnet and a photograph of my son. The image on the magnet startles. Think Edvard Munch crossed with Vincent Van Gogh. An image depicting a bit of both artists: the sheer starkness of Munch’s scream on a yellow-splashed figure with arms uplifted […]

Where to Go for Support After Suicide Loss

. . .the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that after a stable period from 2000 to 2007, the rate of suicide among those aged 10 to 24 increased dramatically — by 56 percent — between 2007 and 2017, making suicide the second leading cause of death in this age group, following accidents like […]

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About Me

Hi, I’m Beth. Join me here at My Forever Son for deep reflection about losing my son, Dylan, and Gardens at Effingham, where cats tell delightful stories about their garden adventures. I spend most of my time with Most Beloved in my music studio where I come to write, hole up, play my guitar, & create–art, music, blogs, & books. But this blog holds a special place in my heart because in sharing my story, my son’s story, & the journey back from complete despair to a life filled even sometimes with joy, I hope you, too, will find healing along the way.

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Most Beloved, Gardens at Effingham

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