Dying Inside. Holding my breath. Pain on the inhale. Pain in the exhale. Sharp pierce of pain. Heart pain. Constant. Mighty. Rhythmic. The rhythm now of my life, my lifeblood stifled, plugged, narrowed, struggling, constricted by this undertow of grieving.
I’d like to think I’ve made “progress,” though in the end, I’m not sure what this even means. Progress towards what exactly? Learning to live again–altered, twisted beyond anything, anyone I recognize, more open, more raw, more vulnerable, deeply compassionate, growing accustomed to this constant rhythm of ebb and flow of grieving in my life?
It doesn’t go away. Suicide never goes away, never lets go, never the release, never the tapering down, never the stillness of an ocean calmed.
Still From Sky I’m Falling: A Poem of Healing Guilt in Grief (After Suicide Loss) ABOUT THIS POST: Still From Sky I’m Falling: A Poem of Healing Guilt in Grief (After Suicide Loss) by Beth Brown is a poem about healing grief, finding self-forgiveness, and releasing guilt after losing a child to suicide. ABOUT THE…
A Poem of Guilt in Grief: That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back ABOUT THIS POST: That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back is a poem about feeling guilt and self-blame after losing a child to suicide. I lost my 20-year-old-son, my only child, to suicide June 25, 2012. I knew I couldn’t…
If I Could Find My Way: A Song About Losing My Son to Suicide ABOUT THIS POST: If I Could Find My Way is an intimate song I wrote about the intense longing and ache I felt after losing my son to suicide. I sat down with my guitar, hit “play” on my recorder (which…
Dealing with the Heartbreak of Losing a Child to Suicide: My Personal Journey Introduction In this heartfelt post, I share a deeply personal experience of loss and grief. This is a story that speaks to the pain of losing a child to suicide and the journey of healing and remembrance. My Forever Son, My Beloved…
Index: My Forever Son This index provides a well-structured and user-friendly way to navigate through the content in the My Forever Son blog. Think of it as a helpful guide, carefully organizing the content into headings, subheadings, keywords, and brief descriptions. With this index, you can quickly and efficiently find exactly what you’re looking for.…