Others can come alongside us for awhile, but our journey into the deep, dark night must be our own. Here, we rally against the darkness, awaken our soul’s deep slumber of the “normalcy” of everyday life, and do fierce battle with an enemy unseen. Grief torments, ruminates, is recursive and in the end, in my losing my son to suicide, unfinished.
My son is a warrior son, and I, by default and through journeying my soul’s dark night in grieving losing Dylan to suicide, am a warrior mama. I live that my son lives too.
One day, there will be reconciling and resolution, but it is I who must learn to walk unfinished here, finding, once again, love, meaning, and purpose in the walking out of my life’s journey.
Walking with Grief
I walk with grief. I carry the weight of bearing deep sorrow in my soul. I am a survivor of suicide loss. No matter how “good” things get, no matter the profundity of my joy and happiness here-as is, as now, I will always be tinged and laced with the bittersweet.
Suicide Grief: Prolonged Grief Disorder? Suicide [grief] can be complicated by feelings of guilt, shame, responsibility, rejection, and stigmatization.National Library of Medicine, Grief interventions for people bereaved by suicide: A systematic review What Is Prolonged Grief Disorder? Known as complicated grief until 2022, the DSM-5 now defines complicated grief as Prolonged Grief Disorder. The latest…
I’ll Love You Forever Mom “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.” Robert Munsch, Love Your Forever Three Years Out After Losing Dylan Originally Published 2016 I Will Love You Forever Mom Memorial Dates It has been 3 years of acute agony, pain, and…
A Poem About Losing a Child: If Earth Were Sky and Sky Above If earth were sky and sky above Then heart could hold this ache of love, Suspended, like rain, in clouds wanting to fall, But bound to sun’s joy because heart touches all. I fall ‘ere so slowly most cannot yet tell My…
As I Tuck You In: A Lullaby for the Child I Lost Lyrics for the Song: As I Tuck You In As I Tuck You In As I tuck you in, I lay me downAs I hold you now, I lift my armsAs I fall asleep, I pray for youMy child, my love, my heart,…