The Black Dog: Understanding Depression and Grief

The Black Dog: Understanding Depression and Grief

Summary

The Black Dog: Understanding Depression and Grief explores the “black dog” metaphor as a means to understand and communicate the experience of depression. Originating from Winston Churchill and popularized by Matthew Johnstone’s illustrated book, the metaphor describes depression as a persistent, burdensome companion.The content of the article, coupled with two relatable videos based on Johnstone’s book, emphasizes the importance of recognizing depression, seeking professional help, and supporting both those affected and their caregivers. It also provides resources for individuals and families coping with depression and suicide loss.

Understanding the Metaphor of the “Black Dog” in Depression and Grief

The metaphor of the “black dog” is widely used to describe the experience of living with depression. This concept, notably explored in Matthew Johnstone’s book, “I Had a Black Dog, His Name Was Depression,” and popularized by Winston Churchill, illustrates how depression can feel like a constant companion—always present and oftentimes overwhelming. The metaphor has become a relatable way to discuss depression’s pervasive nature and the unique challenges it brings to daily life.

Struggling with Depression: A Constant Companion

Depression is not a fleeting feeling; for many, it is a daily battle that can consume every moment. Sometimes it is present without any clear reason, making it difficult for others to understand. Matthew Johnstone’s “I Had a Black Dog, His Name Was Depression” uses the image of a black dog to represent the shadow depression casts—always present, weighing individuals down, and creating barriers to interacting with friends, family, and everyday life.

Those struggling with depression do not always present as “sad.” Depression can be masked by outward signs of happiness, such as laughter and humor, which may hide deeper struggles. The black dog, in this context, becomes a symbol that combines both personal experiences and the broader emotional reality of depression.

Recognizing and Addressing Depression

The collaborative work between Matthew Johnstone and the World Health Organization (WHO) in the two videos below offers powerful resources and stories of overcoming depression, emphasizing that seeking help is both necessary and possible. The metaphor of the black dog serves as a reminder that depression, though burdensome, can be managed and understood with the right support.

Connecting Depression to Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide

On My Forever Son: Grief and Healing after Losing a Child to Suicide, the “black dog” metaphor resonates deeply. Losing a child to suicide and depression is a profound and life-altering experience. The metaphor not only describes the daily struggle with depression but also the enduring grief that follows such a loss.

By sharing resources, personal reflections, and pathways to support, My Forever Son blog offers hope and understanding to parents and families navigating the complex journey of grief and healing. Recognizing depression’s impact and seeking help are vital steps in honoring your child’s memory and fostering resilience within yourself and your community. 

Introduction

The Black Dog: Understanding Depression and Grief

The Black Dog: Understanding Depression and Grief includes an article and two compelling, relatable videos about depression: “I Have a Dog, His Name is Depression,” and “Living with the Black Dog,” both based on books by Matthew Johnstone and developed in conjunction with the World Health Organization (WHO). A pervasive and serious mental health condition that affects millions worldwide, depression is one of the most common mental disorders in the United States.

Depression can affect how you think, feel, and navigate your everyday life, often leading to a pervasive sense of hopelessness and disinterest. You may not know why you feel this way, but the symptoms can manifest in various aspects of your life, making it challenging to engage fully in activities you once enjoyed.

Even basic daily activities such as sleeping, eating, or working may become difficult, creating a challenging cycle that exacerbates feelings of fatigue and disconnection. This emotional toll can affect relationships with friends and family, as well as hinder your ability to perform well at work or school, leaving you feeling isolated and misunderstood.

“Black Dog” Metaphor

The “black dog” metaphor, popularized by Winston Churchill and illustrated in Matthew Johnstone’s book, “I Had a Black Dog, His Name Was Depression,” captures the persistent and burdensome nature of depression. This metaphor helps communicate the emotional weight and daily challenges faced by those living with depression, as well as the importance of recognizing symptoms and seeking professional support. For individuals and families impacted by depression and suicide loss, understanding this metaphor can foster empathy, reduce stigma, and encourage pathways to healing. 

Related Reads

• Breaking the Stigma: Facts About Suicide and Compassion
• Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice
• Twenty Years of Love: Dylan
• Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide
• On the Wings of Hope: The Dragonfly Story

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My Forever Son

Table of Contents

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Video: Understanding Depression and Grief in the “Black Dog” Metaphor

“I Had a Black Dog, His Name Was Depression”

I Had a Black Dog, His Name Was Depression, a book written and illustrated by Matthew Johnstone, depicts the shadow that depression can cast in an easily relatable way. A black dog that is just always there, weighing you down, keeping you pulled away from interacting with your life, friends, family, or job.

I Lost My Son to Depression

My son struggled with depression–deep, deep dark depression. He fought for a long time and fooled us all with his easy laugh and funny faces. Depression will do that. I grew up with black Labrador retrievers. To me, the black dog in the video looks like a cross between Clifford, the Big Red Dog (Dylan loved reading Clifford dog stories), and the black labs I grew up with.

I still have my black dog. Do you? Here’s a clever animated clip about dealing with depression including recognizing that it’s real, that it’s “there” with you.

Need Tips for Coping with Depression?

For tips on coping with depression, scroll down to watch the second video: “Living with a Black Dog.”

I Had a Black Dog, His Name Was Depression

Recognizing depression and seeking help is the first and most critical towards recovery. In collaboration with World Health Organization (WHO) to mark World Mental Health Day, writer and illustrator Matthew Johnstone tells the story of overcoming the “black dog of depression”.

More information on the book, I HAD A BLACK DOG can be found here: http://matthewjohnstone.com.au/

Winston Churchill Popularised the Term, “I Had a Black Dog”

The metaphor of a Black Dog, representing depression, has been around since ancient times, but it was Winston Churchill who popularised the term to describe the hellish bouts of depression he experienced. Since then it has become shorthand for a condition or mood state suffered by one in five people, often in shame & silence. This is an illuminating, moving and uplifting illustrated book about what it is to experience depression, how to come through it and what can be learnt from it.

Written and illustrated by Matthew Johnstone, I HAD A BLACK DOG

Living with a Black Dog

. “Living with a black dog” is a guide for partners, carers and sufferers of depression. It advises those living with and caring for people with depression on what to do, what not to do, and where to go for help.

“Living with a Black dog” is a follow-up to “I had a black dog, his name was depression”, which offers practical advice for coming to terms with and overcoming depression. 

Both videos were produced by writer and illustrator Matthew Johnstone, in collaboration with WHO, and were based on books of the same name. 

Understanding Depression and Grief After Suicide Loss

Losing a child to suicide is a devastating, life-altering experience. For many parents, the aftermath is marked by a profound and consuming depression—a darkness that feels endless, heavy, and impossible to move through. The world can become barren and bleak, and the pain may feel too thick to bear. This is not just sadness; it is a shroud of grief and despair that can make even the smallest steps forward seem impossible.

For Parents Grieving a Child Lost to Suicide, the Black Dog Metaphor Resonates Deeply

The “black dog” metaphor is often used to describe depression as a persistent, burdensome companion. For parents grieving a child lost to suicide, this metaphor resonates deeply.

Depression after such a loss is not unusual; in fact, it is a very real and common part of the grief journey. Suicidal thoughts can arise in this darkness, and it is important to know that you are not alone in feeling this way. Reaching out for help—from therapists, support groups, and compassionate communities—can be lifesaving and grounding.

Studies show that over 90% of suicides involve mental health challenges, with depression being a key factor.

Studies show that over 90% of suicides involve mental health challenges, with depression being a key factor. For teens, depression can be masked by what looks like typical teenage angst, making it harder to recognize. Those who are most deeply depressed may withdraw from friends and family, hiding the true depth of their pain.

If you are a parent walking this path, or someone seeking to support a grieving parent, know that:

• Depression is a serious, treatable condition that can affect anyone, regardless of background or circumstance.
• Recognizing symptoms and seeking help are essential steps toward healing. Support is available through crisis lines, support groups, professional organizations, and compassionate reading materials.
• Moving through the heaviness of grief and depression is not a linear process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline for healing.
• You are not alone. There are communities and resources dedicated to supporting you, offering hope, understanding, and connection when you need it most.

On My Forever Son, we honor the reality of this journey. We hold space for the darkness and the hope, for the pain and the possibility of healing. Whether you are a parent seeking solace or a friend wanting to help, your presence and willingness to reach out matter. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please seek immediate help. Support is available, and your life is precious.

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My Forever Son: Grief, Depression, and the Journey Forward

“Build a Life of Love Around Your Loss” (David Kessler)

Fourteen years. That’s how long I’ve carried this grief. I am a mother who lost her only child to suicide. The pain is not gone. My life has grown around my grief, as David Kessler writes, “Build a life of love around your loss.” Some days, I still feel the weight—thick, heavy, visceral. Sometimes, I wonder how I made it this far. Support groups, counseling, and the kindness of others have helped me hold on. 

You Are Not Alone

If you are reading this, you may know this darkness. Depression after losing a child to suicide is not just sadness. It is a shroud, a world that feels barren and silent. Sometimes, it’s hard to breathe. Sometimes, you want to stop trying. Suicidal thoughts are not unusual for parents at this point in their grief. You are not alone. 

“Your grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” (David Kessler)

There are days when I sit with my grief, not fighting it, not fleeing. I let it be. I have learned that grief is not something to overcome, but something to carry. David Kessler, grief counselor, writes,”Your grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.”

Hope Means Hold On, Pain Eases

Depression is treatable. Not instantly, not easily, but hope is possible. Hope means holding on. Pain eases. This too shall pass. There is no straight line through grief. Some days you move forward. Some days you stand still. Both are okay. 

Studies show that over 90% of suicides involve struggles with mental health, with depression a key factor. For teens, depression can hide behind what looks like ordinary angst. For adults, it can look like withdrawal, silence, or a mask of laughter. Sometimes, those who hurt most hide their pain. 

If you are a parent walking this path, or someone who loves a grieving parent, please remember:

• Depression can touch anyone. It is not a weakness.
• Help is available. Therapists, support groups, and communities can be lifelines.
• There is no right or wrong way to grieve. No timeline. No finish line.
• You are not alone. Others have walked this road. We walk it together. 

On My Forever Son, we honor both the darkness and the hope. We hold space for pain and for healing. If you are seeking solace, or wanting to help, your presence matters. Sometimes, just showing up is enough.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please reach out. Your life is precious. Hope is real. 

“We often want to move on from grief, but grief moves us. It changes us. It asks us to build a life of love around our loss.”
— David Kessler

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Related Reads

Heartfelt Stories of Love, Loss, and Remembrance

Explore heartfelt narratives and reflections on the profound strength of love, the agony of loss, and the enduring essence of remembering those we cherished and lost. In these stories, delve into the intricate tapestry of emotions that love weaves, showcasing not only the joyous moments but also the poignant struggles that arise in times of sorrow.

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief recounts the author’s experience of losing her son to suicide, highlighting her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing. The blog “My Forever Son” emerged as a way for her to navigate this devastating loss, serving as a platform for sharing experiences and finding solace in community. My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide is a heartfelt blog by Beth Brown that chronicles her profound journey through grief and healing following the suicide of her son, Dylan, using poetry, reflections, and nature photography.

Overview of My Forever Son Blog

Beth Brown’s blog, My Forever Son: Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide, is an intimate account of her life after losing her 20-year-old son, Dylan, to suicide. The blog captures her harrowing experience of grief, the guilt and despair she faced, and the ways she has sought healing over the years. Through writing, particularly poetry, she expresses emotions that had been otherwise inexpressible during the early, overwhelming stages of her mourning 

Content and Themes

• Poems as Reflection and Healing: The blog features a series of poems, including Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing which explore the depth of sorrow, longing, and hope experienced after losing a child. These poems often intertwine personal narratives and memories, offering readers insight into the emotional journey of a bereaved parent.
• Personal Journey: Beth shares the timeline of her grief, describing the initial devastation, the silencing of her voice, and her struggle to find hope. Writing began as a journal, eventually transforming into a poetic endeavor that allowed her to process sorrow while reconnecting with her creative and expressive self.
• Photography and Nature as Healing: The blog incorporates photographs of Beth’s gardens across seasons, showing how observing the cycles of nature helped her find moments of calm, renewal, and hope amid grief. Spring blooms and gradual seasonal changes symbolize resilience and the eventual emergence of joy following loss 
• Community and Support: The blog also emphasizes the importance of connecting with others who have experienced similar loss, highlighting that shared grief can reduce the sense of isolation that often accompanies bereavement 

Purpose and Impact

The aim of My Forever Son is to offer solace and understanding to parents confronting child loss, providing a space for reflection and healing. Through her poetry, Beth Brown shows that grief can endure, yet moments of hope and remembrance are possible. Her work is part of Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing including 19 poems on love, loss, and recovery, sharing her son’s life and her reflections on carrying grief with cherished memories.

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience is a heartfelt exploration of the author’s journey through grief after losing her son to suicide. It draws parallels between the cycles of nature and the seasons of healing, illustrated by the vibrant blooms of spring and the dormancy of winter. The magnolia tree symbolizes both grief and resilience, representing enduring love and remembrance of “My Forever Son.” With its association of strength, dignity, and perseverance, the magnolia serves as a fitting emblem for perseverance in the face of loss. Its blooms evoke purity and beauty, creating a gentle tribute to a loved one.

In mourning a child, the magnolia embodies the pain of loss and the hope of healing. Planting one acts as a living memorial, where love grows alongside the tree, and its blooms symbolize the endurance of the heart. Magnolia trees signify the continuity of life, offering comfort during grief, and many families choose them for gardens, finding a representation of both sorrow and hope. The magnolia stands as a living tribute to grief and eternal memory.

A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table

A grandmother’s enduring love is the invisible thread that binds generations, keeping the family together and filling hearts with warmth.

“A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table” is a heartwarming story about a family’s enduring love, symbolized by a family table. The table, originally purchased by the grandmother, becomes a sacred space where the family gathers, sharing laughter, joy, and celebrations. The narrative explores the profound grief of losing a child to suicide, highlighting how the family table becomes a site of reflection and remembrance.

A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table beautifully captures the essence of family connection. A grandmother serves as the cornerstone of family life, nurturing traditions and offering unconditional love. Her presence weaves comfort and wisdom into daily moments, inspiring kindness in children. A grandmother’s love acts as the glue that holds a family together, creating warmth and shared memories around the table.

Twenty Years of Love: Dylan

“Twenty Years of Love: Dylan My Forever Son” is a heartfelt blog post that honors Dylan Andrew Brown, reflecting on his life, enduring love, and the profound grief of losing a child to suicide.

Twenty Years of Love: Dylan is a beautiful guest post by the author’s sister that looks back over the life of Dylan, reflecting on cherished memories, significant milestones, and the profound impact he had on the lives of those who loved him. The post invites readers to journey through the years alongside Dylan, celebrating his accomplishments, the lessons learned, and the indelible mark he left on the hearts of family and friends alike. It serves not only as a tribute but also as a heartfelt reminder of the power of love and remembrance, encouraging everyone to hold tight to their own memories of those who have touched their lives. Twenty Years of Love: Dylan, gone too soon. 

Key themes in this post include:

• Enduring Love: A mother’s connection with her son continues even after death, showing that grief is interwoven with remembrance and devotion 
• Grief and Healing: The blog is part of a broader effort to chronicle grief and share hope, offering support to others coping with the loss of a child 
• Personal Tribute: Dylan is remembered as a gifted student, musician, friend, and beloved son, with his achievements and personality celebrated alongside the grief 

Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide

Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide explores the profound grief experienced by grandparents who endure the heartbreaking loss of a grandchild to the tragic circumstances of suicide, delving into the emotional turmoil, feelings of helplessness, and the complex process of mourning that accompanies such a devastating multiple loss. A grandparent grieves not just for their grandchild, but also for their own child whose life is forever changed.

The grief grandparents experience after losing a grandchild to suicide is profound and multifaceted, often described as a “double grief” because it involves mourning both the grandchild and the deep pain of their own child, the parent.

Unique Emotional Journey for Grandparents
Grandparents’ grief is often intense and complicated by feelings of helplessness knowing their own child is deeply suffering. They may experience shock, numbness, guilt, anger, and profound sadness, sometimes feeling invisible or “forgotten mourners” as attention tends to focus on the parents. This grief often lasts much longer than society expects and involves many emotional ups and downs. Grandparents may struggle to express their loss openly, yet their need to acknowledge and remember the grandchild remains strong.

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Resources for Support and Healing

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org
• Crisis Text Line – Text TALK to 741741 or visit https://crisistextline.org
• Alliance of Hope – Online community for suicide loss survivors: https://allianceofhope.org
• Parents of Suicides & Friends and Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS): https://www.pos-ffos.com
• The Compassionate Friends – Support for families after the death of a child: https://compassionatefriends.org
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group
• Recommended Reading:
  Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide by Beth Brown

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Resources for Support, Healing, and Crisis Intervention

Crisis Services

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
  Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults)
  https://988lifeline.org/
  24/7 free and confidential support for anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.
• Crisis Text Line
  Text TALK to 741741 for English or AYUDA to 741741 for Spanish
  https://crisistextline.org/
  Free, 24/7 text-based mental health support.

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Support Groups for Suicide Loss Survivors

• Alliance of Hope
  https://allianceofhope.org/
  Online community and forum for suicide loss survivors.
• Parents of Suicides & Friends and Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
  https://www.pos-ffos.com/
  Message boards, listservs, and chat rooms for parents and families.
• The Compassionate Friends
  https://compassionatefriends.org/
  Support for families after the death of a child, including suicide loss.

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Professional Organizations & Grief Resources

• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
  https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group
  Find local and online support groups and resources.
• American Association of Suicidology
  https://suicidology.org/community-support-resources/suicide-loss-survivors/
  Education, awareness, and survivor support.
• The Dougy Center
  https://dougy.org/
  Resources for grieving children, teens, and families.

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Recommended Reading

• An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
  A memoir about living with bipolar disorder and understanding mood disorders.
• Darkness Visible by William Styron
  A powerful account of depression from the perspective of the sufferer.
• Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide by Beth Brown
  Poetry for parents and families coping with suicide loss.
• A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief by Jeffrey Jackson
  https://suicidology.org/community-support-resources/suicide-loss-survivors/
  Practical guidance for survivors of suicide loss.

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Finding Professional Care

• Find a Mental Health Provider:
  https://afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
  https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/
  https://mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
  https://inclusivetherapists.com/

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