Surviving the Suicide of Your Child: Support, Resources, Hope

Surviving the Suicide of Your Child: Support, Resources, Hope

Summary

The article “Surviving the Suicide of Your Child: Support, Resources, Hope” by Beth Brown offers support and resources for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. Brown shares her personal journey and provides recommendations for support groups, books, and online resources. The article emphasizes the importance of community and understanding during this difficult time.

Introduction

Surviving the Suicide of Your Child: Support, Resources, Hope is about surviving the suicide of a child, offering a comprehensive resource for parents dealing with the deeply challenging experience. Personal stories, resource recommendations, and support options make it a valuable source of comfort and guidance for those in need.

The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal journey and lists various support groups, resources, books, and poems related to grief after suicide loss. The content is well-organized, informative, and offers valuable resources for those going through a similar experience. It creates a sense of community and understanding for those dealing with such a tragic loss.

Related Reads

• Healing Grief: 3 Years After Losing My Son
• 15 Essential Grief Tips for Parents After a Child’s Suicide
• Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents
• Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide
• Support for Parents Grieving a Child’s Suicide: Guidance, Resources, and Healing

My Forever Son

Table of Contents

Immediate Support for Newly Bereaved Parents

If you are newly bereaved, you are not alone. The following contacts and organizations provide immediate, confidential support for those in crisis and their families:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 24/7 free and confidential support for people in distress
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): Information, support, and community for those affected by suicide
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Resources and advocacy for families dealing with mental health challenges
• Parents of Suicides: An international e-mail group that offers understanding, support, information and hope to bereaved parents. Send an email to Karyl Chastain Beal at arlynsmom@cs.com to ask for an application to join POS. 
• Alliance of Hope: Provides healing support for people coping with the shock, excruciating grief, and complex emotions that accompany the loss of a loved one to suicide.
• The Compassionate Friends: A support group for those grieving the loss of a child to any cause. Members come together from diverse backgrounds to share their grief, hope, and support each other in building a future. 

Key Suggestions for Navigating Suicide Grief

• Seek Professional Help: Therapy and counseling can serve as essential sources of support during this difficult period.
• Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who have experienced similar loss can help reduce feelings of isolation and offer hope.
• Take Your Time: Grief is a deeply personal journey. Move at your own pace and allow yourself to rest as needed.
• Use Books and Resources: Reading about others’ experiences and expert guidance can help you understand and process your feelings. 
• Understanding the Unique Aspects of Suicide Grief provides valuable insights into the distinctive nature of grief experienced by parents mourning the loss of a child to suicide.

Must-Read Books

• A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief by Jeffrey Jackson
• Understanding Your Suicide Grief by Alan Wolfelt
• Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide by Beth Brown

Self-Care Tips

• Rest when you need to.
• Engage in creative or meaningful activities.
• Honor your child’s memory in ways that feel right to you.

Parents grieving a child’s suicide may find comfort by giving themselves permission to heal at their own pace, participating in creative or meaningful activities, and honoring their child’s memory in personally meaningful ways. Connecting with support groups, seeking professional help, and engaging with helpful resources are essential steps in nurturing emotional and mental well-being. These practices support parents as they work toward healing in a difficult time.

Remember, you are not alone. Communities and resources are available to help you throughout your journey.

Glossary of Common Terms Related to Grief and Suicide Loss

• Grief: The emotional response to loss, especially after the death of a loved one. May include sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion.
• Bereavement: The period of mourning and adjustment following the death of someone close.
• Survivor of Suicide Loss: A person who has lost someone to suicide and is coping with the aftermath.
• Complicated Grief: Prolonged or intense grief that disrupts daily life and may benefit from professional support.
• Support Group: A gathering of individuals with shared experiences, offering mutual understanding and encouragement after suicide loss.
• Stigma: Negative attitudes, beliefs, or stereotypes about suicide and mental health that may prevent people from seeking help or speaking openly.
• Postvention: Actions and interventions designed to support individuals and communities after a suicide has occurred.
• Trigger: Anything that elicits a strong emotional reaction or brings back memories related to the loss.
• Resilience: The capacity to adapt and recover after experiencing loss or trauma.
• Counselor/Therapist: A professional who provides emotional support and guidance to those affected by grief and suicide loss.
• Self-care: Activities and practices that support physical, emotional, and mental well-being during challenging periods.
• Validation: Recognizing and affirming the feelings and experiences of individuals impacted by suicide loss.

Talking About Suicide Loss

When discussing suicide, it is important to use sensitive and accurate language. The phrase “died by suicide” is preferred, as it is nonjudgmental and recognizes suicide as a health issue. In contrast, “committed suicide” is outdated and potentially stigmatizing, as it suggests criminality or moral wrongdoing. Using compassionate and precise language helps foster understanding and reduces stigma for survivors and those affected by suicide loss.

Additional Resources

• My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide Blog – Offers support and resources for parents who are grieving the devastating loss of a child to suicide. The author shares her profoundly personal journey of healing and resilience following the tragic loss of her son, Dylan. Support resources include articles about understanding suicide, including breaking the stigma and myths surrounding suicide, support for survivors of suicide loss, focusing especially on helping parents who lose a child to suicide find the support they need, personal stories and reflections on suicide loss, and original poems and poetic reflections on grief and healing
• Nationwide Children’s Hospital: Provides research, expert articles, and mental health resources for families and children dealing with suicide loss. discusses the importance of understanding mental health and breaking stigmas surrounding it. Emphasizes that suicide is not a choice but a result of complex factors and emotional pain. A compassionate, well-researched site established and admistered by suicide epidemiologists and pediatricians. Includes a blog about issues surrounding suicide and suicidal ideation in children (bullying, demographics, trauma, mental health, and other topics).
• Alliance for Suicide Survivors: Offers survivor support groups, educational materials, and advocacy resources. The organization provides 24/7 online support for suicide loss survivors, recognizing the high risk of suicide among this population. provide healing and compassionate support during the lonely and tumultuous aftermath of suicide. 

Common Myths About Suicide

• Myth: Talking about suicide will encourage someone to go through with it. Fact: Speaking openly and compassionately about suicide can reduce stigma and help people feel understood; it does not “plant the idea.”
• Myth: Only people with mental illness die by suicide. Fact: While mental health conditions can increase risk, people from all walks of life, with or without a diagnosed disorder, can experience suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
• Myth: People who talk about suicide are just seeking attention and won’t go through with it. Fact: All expressions of suicidal thoughts or feelings should be taken seriously. Reaching out may be a plea for help.
• Myth: Suicide happens without warning. Fact: Many people give clues or warnings—through words, behavior, or mood changes—before a suicide attempt.
• Myth: If someone seems better after feeling suicidal, the risk is gone. Fact: Sometimes, an improvement in mood can occur when a person has made a decision to die by suicide. Continued support and vigilance are important.
• Myth: Suicide is a selfish act. Fact: Suicide is often the result of overwhelming pain and distress; it is not about selfishness, but rather about suffering that feels unbearable.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What should I do in the immediate aftermath of losing a loved one to suicide? 

Seek immediate support from trusted friends, family, or professionals. Allow yourself to grieve and consider connecting with support groups or counselors who specialize in suicide loss.

Read more: A Parent’s Guide to Healing After a Child’s Suicide offers compassionate guidance for parents navigating the profound grief of losing a child to suicide. The article emphasizes self-care, support systems, and professional help, along with encouraging parents to connect with others who understand their heartache.

How can I support my child or another family member after a suicide loss?

Encourage open communication, listen without judgment, and validate their feelings. Offer reassurance and remind them that grief is a unique and personal process.

Read more: What to Say to Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide offers heartfelt insights and guidance for supporting grieving parents during the devastating loss of a child to suicide. Author Beth Brown shares her personal journey and provides essential resources to help others navigate the intricate emotions linked to a suicide loss. 

As a professional, how can I best support grieving families?

Approach families with empathy and patience. Provide resources, respect their pace, and avoid making assumptions about their needs or emotions.

Read more: Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters explores the pain and grief surrounding suicide, emphasizing that it is not a conscious choice but a desperate attempt to escape unbearable suffering. Her article highlights current research into understanding suicide and suicidal thinking, personal stories shared by bereaved parents, and compassionate support for those struggling with depression and mental health. 

Is it normal to experience intense emotions such as guilt, anger, or confusion? 

Yes. These feelings are common after suicide loss. It’s important to acknowledge them and seek gentle support as you process your grief.

Read more: Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide explores the complex emotions parents face after losing a child to suicide. The guide offers practical advice and coping strategies to help parents process guilt and move towards acceptance. It emphasizes that guilt is a common feeling among grieving parents, but it is important to remember that they are not solely responsible for their child’s actions.

Where can I find additional resources or professional help?

Refer to the appendix in this guide for a list of helpful organizations, hotlines, and recommended readings.

Read more: Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources offers tools and support, a valuable resource for parents grieving losing a child to suicide. This heartbreaking experience can create an overwhelming feeling of isolation and despair, making it vital for parents to know they are not alone in their journey of navigating grief and loss. Explore extensive support resources for parents with helpful strategies and tips for navigating grief and healing.

Reflection and Journaling Space

Personal reflection can play a vital role in the healing journey. Use the space below to write down your thoughts, feelings, or memories about your loved one or your experiences as a professional supporting families. Journaling may help you process emotions and find moments of peace.

• What is one memory of your loved one that brings you comfort?
• How are you feeling today? What emotions are most present for you?
• What do you wish you could say to your loved one or to others who may be grieving?

(Feel free to print this page or keep a journal nearby for ongoing reflection.)

Testimonials and Brief Case Studies

• Maria, a bereaved mother: “In the early days after my son’s passing, I felt completely lost. Joining a support group helped me realize I wasn’t alone, and sharing my story became a powerful part of my healing.”
• James, a school counselor: “Supporting grieving students and their families taught me the value of simply listening. Sometimes, the most meaningful help I could offer was being present and validating their pain.”
• The Smith Family: “We started a memory garden in honor of our daughter. Planting flowers and tending to the garden together gave us a way to express our love and keep her memory alive.”
• Personal Stories & Reflections
• “I remember the first days after losing my child—how every hour felt impossible. Finding support helped me take the first steps toward healing. I want other parents to know that it’s okay to ask for help and that you’re not alone.”–Parent, in healing

If you would like to share your own story or reflection, please refer to the journaling space above or consider reaching out to your support network.

Creative Ways to Honor Your Child’s Memory

• Create a Memory Garden: Plant flowers, trees, or a special garden space in your child’s honor, tending to it as a living tribute.
• Artistic Expression: Paint, draw, write poetry, or compose music inspired by your child or your memories together.
• Memory Box or Scrapbook: Collect photos, letters, and mementos in a decorated box or scrapbook to revisit and cherish.
• Charity or Scholarship Fund: Start a scholarship, charity, or fundraiser in your child’s name to support causes they cared about.
• Annual Remembrance Rituals: Light a candle, release balloons, or hold a gathering on special dates to celebrate your child’s life.
• Personalized Jewelry or Keepsakes: Wear a piece of jewelry or carry a keepsake engraved with your child’s name or a meaningful message.
• Acts of Kindness: Perform random acts of kindness or volunteer in your community in your child’s memory.
• Creative Projects: Make a quilt from your child’s clothing, or craft something meaningful that reminds you of them.
• Story Sharing: Write or share stories about your child with friends, family, or support groups to keep their memory alive.

These creative acts can provide comfort, foster connection, and help parents find meaning as they honor their child’s legacy.

Key Takeaways for Bereaved Parents

• Immediate Support for Newly Bereaved Parents: If you have just lost a child to suicide, you may feel overwhelmed by pain, confusion, and disbelief. Allow yourself to grieve, and know that you do not have to face this alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals for support during these difficult first days and weeks.
• Finding Safety and Community: Give yourself permission to rest and process your emotions in a safe space, whether that’s at home, with loved ones, or in a quiet place where you feel secure. Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses, either in person or through online support groups for suicide loss survivors, can provide a sense of understanding and belonging.
• Self-Compassion and Ongoing Healing: Grief is different for everyone and can be especially complex after suicide loss. Take small steps, accept help when offered, and remind yourself that healing is a gradual process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s okay to seek help at any point in your journey.
• Resources for Parents Further Along in Their Grief Journey: For parents who have some time out from their child’s death and are looking for ongoing support, consider joining ongoing support groups, exploring books on grief, or engaging with new tools and resources designed to help you process emotions and find hope. Professional guidance from therapists specializing in grief and trauma can be helpful at any stage.
• Value of Shared Experiences: Connecting with others and sharing your story can provide comfort and help reduce feelings of isolation. The journey through grief is uniquely personal, but community and compassionate support can make a meaningful difference.

Recommended Reading

Understanding the Unique Aspects of Suicide Grief

This article, a downloadable pdf handbook, appears in its entirety in A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief by Jeffrey Jackson.

The suicide griever faces all the same emotions

as anyone who mourns a death, but they also face other unique

and painful feelings on top of their grief…

Guilt. Rarely in other deaths do we feel responsible. Diseases,

accidents, old age… we know instinctively that we can’t cause or

control these things. But with suicide — even if we were only on the

periphery of the deceased’s life — we invariably feel that we might

have, could have, or should have done something to prevent the

suicide. But this is a mistaken assumption. (See page 15.)

Stigma. Society still attaches a stigma to suicide, and it is largely

misunderstood. While mourners usually receive sympathy and

compassion, the suicide griever may encounter blame, judgment, or

exclusion.

Anger. It’s not uncommon to feel some form of anger toward a lost

loved one, but it’s intensified for those coping with suicide grief. For

us, the person we lost is also the murderer of the person we lost,

bringing new meaning to the term “love-hate” relationship. (See page

19.)

Disconnection. When we lose a loved one to disease or an

accident, it is easier to retain happy memories of them.

We know that

if they could choose, they would still be here with us. But it’s not as

easy for the suicide griever. Because our loved one seems to have

made a choice to leave us, we feel disconnected from their memory.

We are in a state of conflict with them, and we’re left to resolve that

conflict alone.

The challenge of coping with a loved one’s suicide is one

of the most trying ordeals anyone ever has to face. But

make no mistake, you must confront it. If you attempt to

ignore it — sweep it under the rug of your life — you may only

be delaying an even deeper pain. There are people who have

continued to suffer for decades after a suicide, because they

refused or were forbidden to ever talk about it.

Time heals, but time alone cannot heal suicide grief. You have

to use that time to heal yourself and lean on the help and support

of others. It might take years to truly

restore your emotional wellbeing,

but you can be assured of one thing:

it will get easier.

This article, a downloadable pdf handbook, appears in its entirety in A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief by Jeffrey Jackson

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Reflection and Journaling Space

Personal reflection can play a vital role in the healing journey. Use the space below to write down your thoughts, feelings, or memories about your loved one or your experiences as a professional supporting families. Journaling may help you process emotions and find moments of peace.

Battling Guilt

• A Guilt-Busting Exercise: Make a list of all the things that you did to help and comfort your lost loved one. You’ll probably find the list is longer than you realized.

(Feel free to print this page or keep a journal nearby for ongoing reflection.)

Key Resources for Understanding Suicide

The articles below include key resources for understanding suicide and coping with grief. They offer compassionate guidance. Notably, the “Rain Comes to Heal Us All” Poem: Finding Hope After Loss, provides solace. Grief involves stigma, guilt, and various emotions from anger to relief.

Research indicates that suicide is not a conscious choice, necessitating a non-judgmental emotional healing approach. Support groups and educational materials empower survivors, fostering community connections.

The content includes the author’s story of losing her child, emotional support resources, insights on suicide, grief duration discussions, and resources for bereaved parents.

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents is a comprehensive resource for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. The book offers a curated list of books, including practical guides, narratives, poetry, and novels, providing support and understanding for those navigating grief. The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal journey of loss and healing, emphasizing the importance of support groups and educational materials in the grieving process.

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice explores the emotional complexities surrounding suicide, challenging the notion that it is a choice. Dr. John Ackerman highlights the myriad factors influencing suicidal thoughts, emphasizing that individuals often seek relief from overwhelming pain rather than wanting to end their lives. This piece encourages empathy and awareness, making it essential reading for those wanting to support loved ones in distress.

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents offers a comprehensive list of resources and support for individuals grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. It includes personal insights, professional perspectives, and a curated selection of books and support groups. The author, Beth Brown, shares her own experience of losing her son to suicide and emphasizes the importance of seeking help and understanding.

Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End?

Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End? offers a compassionate look at and attempts to response to one of the most profound challenges of longterm grief after suicide loss: Does the pain of losing a child to suicide is profound and never fully goes away, but it does change and become a part of one’s life. Finding support through counseling, support groups, and connecting with others who have experienced similar losses is crucial for healing. Grief is a journey with seasons that come and go, and it is possible to learn to live with the pain while honoring the love for the lost child.

To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to be here and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain does change, it softens. You will want to live again and be able to enjoy life again. It will never be like before but the crushing, all consuming pain you feel right now will soften. You will be able to live with it. It just becomes part of you.

A parent who lost their child to suicide

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Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched”

Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched” features Ronald Rolheiser’s writings on suicide which offer a compassionate and spiritual perspective, emphasizing that suicide is often a tragic consequence of mental illness, not a voluntary act. He encourages loved ones to release guilt and second-guessing, understanding that they are not responsible for the person’s death. Rolheiser also highlights the importance of remembering the deceased’s life beyond their suicide, trusting in God’s infinite love and understanding.

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Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters

Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters explores the pain and grief surrounding suicide, emphasizing that it is not a conscious choice but a desperate attempt to escape unbearable suffering. The article highlights current research, personal stories, and compassionate support for those struggling with depression and mental health, aiming to break the stigma surrounding suicide. It provides resources and insights into the complexities of grief and the journey towards healing.

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The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief, recounts the author’s harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Her story highlights her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing. The blog “My Forever Son” came about as a way for the author to work through this devastating grief that follows the loss of a child to suicide. My Forever Son blog serves as a platform for sharing experiences and finding healing and solace in community.

When Your Child Dies By Suicide, Grief Can Be Complicated

The suicide of a child of any age presents unique circumstances that can intensify and prolong the mourning process for parents, family members and friends. Suicide is believed to be a reaction to overwhelming feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness and depression. Suicide is the third leading cause of death in the United States among 10-14 year olds and 15-24 year olds, and the second leading cause among 25-34 year olds.

The Compassionate Friends, Surviving Your Child’s Suicide

My Story: Surviving the Suicide of My Son

In June 2012, I lost my twenty-year-old son, my only child, to suicide. I’ve been writing ever since. I started a Google Blogger site (My Forever Son: My Beloved Dylan-Losing My Son to Suicide) in 2015. I was 3 years out from Dylan’s memorial date. I wrote as I felt, slogging through the mess that was left of my life, counting each minute, hour, day, month, year since losing my son to suicide.

In acute grief those first few years, I sought out every means of support. I researched and read about suicide: looking for answers; wanting to know “Why?”; searching for a way to go on, hold on, continue living when all I wanted to do was be with my son.

What Helped: Local and Online Support Groups for Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide

Suicide is the anchor point on a continuum of suicidal thoughts & behaviors. This continuum is one that ranges from risk-taking behaviors at one end, extends through different degrees & types of suicidal thinking, & ends with suicide attempts and suicide.  

Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison , Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide

Joining Online and Local Support Groups

I joined local and online support groups in my area:

• Parents of Suicide, an online community of parents who have lost a child to suicide. Learn more about Parents of Suicide. Parents of Suicide was, has been, and is an ongoing key source of support and understanding for me. Because this is a closed group of parents bereaved by losing their child to suicide, this group is a phenomenal source of support. If you are a parent who has lost your child to suicide, go directly to Parents of Suicide.

• The Compassionate Friends host meetings in person and online, and anyone who has lost a child may attend. Learn more about The Compassionate Friends. I found and attend a local meeting of The Compassionate Friends. You will find parents who have lost a child to any cause at the meetings. The Compassionate Friends also has an excellent online site.

• The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: Learn more about The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Because I lost my son to suicide, I found the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention a rich resource bank for videos, books, personal stories, tips for self-care, and survival strategies when you’ve lost your child to suicide. It’s an excellent resource and has local, state, and national gatherings, including walks you can sign up for to take back the night. The walks are powerful and moving as you meet and walk with others bereaved by suicide.

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Books and Resources for Grief After Suicide Loss

Books, Pamphlets, Downloadable Booklets

In the beginning of acute grief, I read everything I could find about losing a child to suicide. I still read books about losing a child to suicide. I found the online sites below helpful as they provide lists of resources and reading material (book lists; pamphlets; downloadable booklets).

Books, Booklets, Pamphlets

• The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). Learn more about what to read and where to find Books for Loss Survivors.

• American Association of Suicidology. Learn more about downloadable resources and booklets that can be ordered, available at American Association of Suicidology

Suicide Research

• Nationwide Children’s Hospital. Learn more about Nationwide Children’s Hospital. See especially Don’t Say It’s Selfish: Suicide is Not a Choice. I have found this resource especially helpful. If you’ve lost a young child, this site can help.

Support Groups and Resources

• Survivors of Suicide: Learn more about The Survivors of Suicide

• The Mayo Clinic: Learn more about the Mayo Clinic and suicide grief. This is an excellent online resource for reading about and understanding suicide grief.

• What’s Your Grief? Learn more at their resources at What’s Your Grief? What a great online grief site written by 2 grief counselors. Their rich resource bank of articles that they’ve written includes well-researched studies and methodologies. They add a personal touch by sharing their own grief stories and experiences.

Parents of Suicide Online Support Group

• Parents of Suicide and Friends and Families of Suicide is an online support group that is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Moderators (parents with more time out from their child’s suicide) and other parents are always there to respond to you. And if you don’t want to write, you can always read the emails from other parents who have lost their child to suicide. Go to Parents of Suicide to learn more. I find belonging to this group invaluable.
• Faces of Suicide Books, Volumes 1-5. Books written by parents who lose a child to suicide provide shared and unique experiences of parents who lose a child to suicide. Read Faces of Suicide Books, Volumes 1-5.

Find Helpful Resources

Understanding a parent’s grief after losing their child to suicide can be challenging. You can find resources on My Forever Son that help you understand what parents must move through after their child’s suicide. The resources on My Forever Son also illuminate what grief looks like specifically and especially after losing a child to suicide.

I write at length about some of the more difficult aspects of a parent’s grief. Especially helpful is

I also write songs and poems about losing a child to suicide. You can find a collection of poems at Find Hope Here: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide. Several poems are available to be freely downloaded. Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide is a book available for Amazon Kindle.

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“Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing”

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems and reflections by Beth Brown, the compassionate voice behind the My Forever Son blog. This poignant work navigates the deep, overwhelming sorrow that accompanies the tragic loss of a child to suicide. In her writing, Brown bravely shares her personal journey through grief, revealing how the act of writing poetry and connecting with the beauty of nature became vital sources of comfort and healing for her in the midst of such profound pain.

Through the author’s heartfelt verses, she reaches out with warmth and understanding to those who are journeying through their own sorrows. With her enchanting photography of the trees, shrubs, and flowers that grace her gardens throughout the seasons, Brown lovingly shares a beacon of hope, brightly illuminating the shadows cast by grief.

On Finding Hope: Photographing My Gardens Brings Healing

In nature, I find calm in the wake of profound sorrow and healing in the cycling of the seasons. Predictable. Beautiful in the spring, promising renewal after a long winter’s rest. Brilliant hues in the summer months. Autumn bringing trees and shrubs bejeweled in vivid reds, oranges, and reds. And then the stillness and monochromatic sketch of what can be a too long winter’s sleep.

Winter Wonderland: Captivating Photos in My Gardens

A Long Winter’s Rest for Trees, Shrubs, and Flowers

This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken.

This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken. An empty landscape. Gray skies for months. A blanket of snow in white, though only the stark limbs of trees and shrubs. At times, though, red berries appear on some shrubs, supplying food for birds and wildlife. All this to say I can’t see life against this wintry scene.

But in photographing nature through the seasons, I began to see (again), the brilliance of a long winter’s rest for trees, shrubs, and flowers. To study nature and botany is to realize that what appears lifeless is actually the process of life within all of nature renewing itself. Trusting in what I cannot see brings hope and healing.

Spring Brings Hope: Photographs of My Gardens

Spring Brings Beauty and Hope

Even against the cold remnants of a long winter–scattered clumps of snow, a robin redbreast plumped out to keep itself warm against a late March frost, brown dried leaves with nary a sign of color anywhere, spring breaks through. At first just small bits of color. A hint of purple as crocus push through thawing ground, then the vivid yellows of daffodils leaning towards the sun and the suddenness of blue bells. Rhododendron yawns and stretches its lavender limbs to awaken azalea, still sleepy with snow though greening beneath it all.

What seems forever gone in the gray doldrums of winter arrives with an abundance of joy come spring.

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Writing My Way Through Grief to Find Hope and Healing

Snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections

Three years into my grief, I began writing journal entries. Short. A few feelings. About my day and where I was in my grief journey. Then slowly, snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections. Words shaped the deep feelings and emotional longing in my heart, and as I continued writing, I began to find small glimpses of hope in unexpected ways.

Photographing my gardens garnered a way to coalesce all the many feelings and words I’d been unable to express. And the more I photographed through the seasons, the more glimmers of hope I found along the way.

Each poignant poem in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a dedicated blog post in its own right, replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

The poems included in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing appear below. Each poem is a blog post in its own right, oftentimes replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

Each poem moves the reader through the profound emotions of grief and healing after losing a child.

Many of the poems tell narratives I remember from my son’s childhood. This is significant–reconstructing the narrative of our lives during his growing-up years brings release for all the love and beautiful memories before the trauma of losing him. Writing these poems and narratives, these poetic reflections on love and loss, have helped me learn to carry love and ache together.

Still I write. Still I heal. Still I miss my son.

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From Shattered Hearts to Quiet Hope: Poems and Reflections for Parents of Suicide Loss

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

If you are reading this, you know the unique and overwhelming grief of losing a child to suicide. This collection is for you—a place to find words and images that honor your pain, offer comfort, and gently invite hope.

Curated by Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide, these poems and reflections move through the rawness of early trauma, the depths of acute grief, and the slow journey toward healing, even thirteen years later. Each post pairs heartfelt writing with stunning garden photography, inspired by Beth’s own search for solace in nature’s resilience.

Hope can be quiet—listen for it in moments of rest.

You are invited to explore at your own pace. Choose what resonates—whether it’s a poem that mirrors your sorrow, a reflection that offers comfort, or an image that whispers hope. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

Contemplation Prompt:
Pause with a garden image. What does it say to you about survival, growth, or hope?

About the Author, Beth Brown: Writing My Way Through Grief

The love you shared endures beyond loss.

This collection is lovingly curated by Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. Over thirteen years, Beth’s journey through the depths of grief has been shaped by poetry, reflection, and the healing presence of her gardens. Through My Forever Son, she shares how nature’s resilience and beauty offer moments of solace and hope, even in the face of unimaginable loss.

Explore These Poems and Reflections at Your Own Pace

You are invited to explore these poems and reflections at your own pace. Each post pairs heartfelt words with stunning garden photography, offering comfort, understanding, and gentle encouragement for wherever you are in your grief. Select what speaks to you—let these pages be a companion on your path toward healing. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

Journaling Prompt:
What memories of your child bring both tears and warmth? Write a few lines, letting your heart speak freely.

You are not alone. Healing is a journey, and hope can bloom—even here.

Message of Hope:
Even in the darkest seasons, a single flower can remind us that beauty and life persist. Let these poems be gentle companions as you move through your grief.

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Bury My Heart: A Book of Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide

Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide

By Beth Brown, author of My Forever Son: Grief, Hope, & Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide, a companion blog.

Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide is a heartfelt collection of poems by Beth Brown that captures the raw emotions and profound grief experienced after losing a child to suicide. This poignant book of poems serves as a comforting companion for those navigating the complex journey of bereavement.

The poems in Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide are divided into five sections, each exploring a different facet of the grieving process:

1. A Deep Sorrow: This section delves deep into the initial shock and overwhelming sorrow that accompanies the loss of a child to suicide. Through vivid imagery and powerful emotions, the poems in this section capture the pain of heartbreak and the longing for a lost loved one.
2. Earth, Stars, Moon, Sky: These poems delve into the contemplation of nature and the universe, reflecting on the inter-connectedness of life and death. Through exploring the vastness of the natural world, the author finds solace and a sense of connection to her departed child.
3. Why?: In this part, the author grapples with the eternal question of “why” and seeks to understand the reasons behind her child’s tragic decision. These poems confront the complexities of guilt, self-blame, and the relentless search for answers.
4. In Losing You, I Lost Me Too: Looks at the profound impact of losing a child on one’s identity and sense of self. The poems explore the struggle to regain a sense of purpose, the search for healing and self-discovery, and the ongoing journey of self-acceptance.
5. That My Love Travel with You Always: The final section of Bury My Heart is a tribute to the enduring love the author holds for her departed child. These poems encapsulate the eternal bond between a parent and a child, expressing a heartfelt wish for the child’s love to accompany them forever.

The Story of My Forever Son

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• The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: page for survivors of suicide loss.

• The American Association of Suicidology: Suicide Loss

• The Compassionate Friends: “Surviving Your Child’s Suicide”

Support Groups

• The Compassionate Friends offers in-person support groups, as well as Facebook groups, one called “Loss Due to Suicide.”

• Find Support at Alliance of Hope. They provide information, consultations, and support to suicide loss survivors through their website and online community forum.
• The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: A.F.S.P. support group listing.

Pamphlets

• “Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors” By Iris M. Bolton

• American Association of Suicidology, Living with Grief for Suicide Loss Survivors

Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors

Iris Bolton, author of Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors, has written several books about suicide loss, grief, and healing. Bolton’s book, My Son, My Son, helped me feel less alone. Bolton writes about losing her son to suicide, stories of hope and healing, and grief after suicide loss.

Excerpt from Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors by Iris M. Bolton:

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Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress

After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.

Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.

Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.

HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.

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Resources and Support Groups

Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
http://www.pos-ffos.com
This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.

Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
https://www.taps.org/suicide
This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.

United Survivors
https://unitesurvivors.org/
This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.

Professional Organizations

American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.

The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.

Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.

LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.

Online resources

Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.

Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.

Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.

SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.

Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.

Finding professional care and support

Find a mental health provider

• afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
• findtreatment.samhsa.gov
• mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
• inclusivetherapists.com
• afsp.org/suicide-bereavement-trained-clinicians

Find a provider for prolonged grief

• prolongedgrief.columbia.edu

Find additional resources for marginalized communities

• afsp.org/mental-health-resources-for-marginalized-communities

Crisis Services

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.

Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.

Support Groups

• Alliance for Hope for suicide loss survivors – https://forum.allianceofhope.org/forums/-/list
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention – https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group
• American Society of Suicidology – https://suicidology.org/resources/suicide-loss-survivors/
• British Columbia Bereavement Helpline, Suicide Grief Support – https://bcbh.ca/grief-support/suicide-grief-support/
• Coalition of Clinician-Survivors – https://www.cliniciansurvivor.org/# 
• Community Support After Suicide (Peachtree Comprehensive Health) – https://www.pchprofessionals.com/community-support-after-suicide  
• Compassionate Friends Loss to Suicide group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/tcflosstosuicide
• Emotions Matter Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Loss Group – https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/bpd-loss-group (note that not all losses are suicide, though many are. All losses have a connection to BPD.)
• Friends and Families of Suicide (FFOS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/ffos.htm
• Friends for Survival – https://friendsforsurvival.org/
• Heartbeat: Grief Support Following Suicide – https://www.heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org/services
• Helping Parents Heal: Special Interest Group -Moving Forward After Suicide – https://www.helpingparentsheal.org/affiliate-groups/special-interest-groups/ (note that Helping Parents Heal “goes a step beyond other groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and afterlife evidence—in a non-dogmatic way.  HPH affiliate groups welcome everyone regardless of religious or non-religious background and encourage open dialog.”)
• Long Island Survivors of Suicide – https://lisos.org/ 
• The Lounge – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/about-4 
• Parents of Suicide (POS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/pos.htm
• Sail to Heal – https://www.sail2heal.org/ 
• Smile through the Storms – https://www.smilethroughthestorms.com/ 
• Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE) – https://save.org/save-support-groups/
• Working on My Grief  – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/ 

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Books for Understanding Suicide And Mental Health

An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1995. In this memoir, an international authority on Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder describes her own struggle since adolescence with the disorder, and how it has shaped her life.

Darkness Visible
William Styron, Random House, 1990. A powerful and moving first-hand account of what depression feels like to the sufferer.

Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope with the Death of a Child to Suicide or Drugs
William Feigelman, Ph.D., John Jordan, Ph.D., John McIntosh, Ph.D., Beverly Feigelman, LCSW, Springer Publishing, 2012. This book provides useful avenues for future research on suicide loss and offers new insights into the grief process that follows the death of a child, both in the short term and years after a loss.  Please note that, given its academic tone, the book is better suited to clinicians and educators than to recently bereaved lay readers.

Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1999. Kay Redfield Jamison’s in-depth psychological and scientific exploration of suicide traces the network of reasons underlying suicide, including the factors that interact to cause suicide, and outlines the evolving treatments available through modern medicine.

The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
Andrew Solomon, Scribner, 2001.Winner of the National Book Award, this book shares the author’s story of chronic depression, and places depression in a broader social context.

Why People Die by Suicide
Thomas Joiner, Ph.D., Harvard University Press, 2005.
Drawing on extensive clinical and epidemiological evidence, as well as personal experience, the author, who lost his father to suicide, identifies three factors that mark those most at risk of considering, attempting, or dying by suicide.

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Recommended Reading

Book Recommendation: ‘A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief’ by Jeffrey Jackson, providing support for survivors of suicide loss, My Forever Son

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Books

• Beal, Karyl Chastain (2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018). Faces of Suicide, Volumes One to Five.
• Brown, Beth (2023) Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
• Cacciatore, Joanne (2017). Bearing the Unbearable. Wisdom Publications.
• Clark, Ann (2020). Gone to Suicide. A mom’s truth on heartbreak, transformation and prevention. Iuniverse.
• Collins, Eileen Vorbach (2023). Love in the Archives. a patchwork of true stories about suicide loss. Apprentice House Press.
• Cross, Tracey (2013). Suicide among gifted children and adolescents. Understanding the suicidal mind. Prufrock Press.
• Dougy Center, The (2001). After a Suicide: An Activity Book for Grieving Kids. Dougy Center.
• Estes, Clarissa Pinkola (1988). The Faithful Gardener. HarperCollinsSanFrancisco.
• Fine, Carla (1997). No Time to Say Goodbye. Surviving the suicide of a loved one. Broadway Books.
• Heilmann, Lena M.Q. (2019). Still with Us. Voices of Sibling Suicide Loss Survivors. BDI Publishers.
• Hickman, Martha Whitmore (1994). Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. William Morrow Paperbacks
• Jamison, Kay Redfield (2000). Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. Vintage.
• Johnson, Julie Tallard (1994). Hidden Victims, Hidden Healers. An eight-stage healing process for families and friends of the mentally ill. Pema Publications.
• Joiner, Thomas (2005). Why People Die by Suicide. Harvard University Press
• Joiner, Thomas (2010). Myths About Suicide. Harvard University Press.
• Kushner, Harold S. (2004). When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Anchor Books
• O’Connor, Mary-Francis (2022). The Grieving Brain. HarperOne.
• Rasmussen, Christina (2019). Second Firsts. Hay House Inc.
• Shapiro, Larry (2020). Brain Pain. Giving insight to children who have lost a family member or a loved one to suicide. Safe Haven Books.
• Wickersham, Julie (2009). The Suicide Index: Putting My Father’s Death in Order. Mariner Books.

Memorial Sites

• Faces of Suicide – memorial site for those who died by suicide –  https://www.facesofsuicide.com/
• Suicide Memorial Wall – tribute site for those who died by suicide – https://www.suicidememorialwall.com/

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