Songs for Child Loss

Songs for Child Loss

ABOUT THIS POST: Songs for Child Loss include a collection of original songs written by the author of My Forever Son. The songs focus on sharing personal experiences and emotions related to losing a child to suicide. The collection of songs includes heartfelt songs and their lyrics. The post also highlights a book of poems about losing a child to suicide that is available on Amazon Kindle.

A Note About This Blog

I write that I might heal my grief over losing my only child, my 20-year-old son, to suicide June 25, 2012.

The beautiful photographs of flowers, shrubs, and trees in bloom throughout the seasons are from my gardens.

Writing to Heal My Grief

Gardening, taking photos, and writing poems, blog posts, books, and songs bring serenity to my now upside-down world after losing my son to suicide. I find hope and healing writing poems and songs. Perhaps in listening and reading, you will, too.

Find Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss, and Losing a Child

I also write poems about losing a child.

You can read them here: Find Hope Here: Featuring Poems About Losing a Child

Find Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss, and Losing a Child

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Songs for Child Loss: My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care

About this Song:

A Dark Room with a Single Candle for Light

In a dark room with a single candle for light. My acoustic guitar. Tears streaming down my face and with my voice barely above a whisper. “As I tuck you in, I lay me down.” A downward descent with my voice. Melodic. Soothing. Over and again, “As I tuck you in, I lay me down.”

In Saying Good Night to My Son, I Was Really Saying Goodbye to Him

And so what began as my strumming my guitar and singing “As I tuck you in, I lay me down” became a fully-fledged song. A song with a rhythm and picked pattern meant to soothe a child, the song soothed me as I grieved the loss of my son.

A lullaby melody and rhythm meant for rocking and soothing a child became emblematic for my grief. “My Child on Earth Above In Heaven’s Care.”

In saying good night to my son, I was really saying goodbye to him.

As I tuck you in, I lay me down

As I hold you now, I lift my arms

As I fall to sleep, I pray for you

My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too.

“My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care,” All music and lyrics by ©Beth Brown

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The Song: My Child on Earth Above In Heaven’s Care

Listen to the Song: My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care

Song Lyrics: My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care

My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care

Verse 1

As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall to sleep, I pray for you
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too
My child, my love, my heart, may God keep and love you

Chorus

And you will be forevermore
Safe from this world and so adored
And God will be your comforter
And I will always thank God for rescuing you
And I will always praise God for loving you too

Verse 2

And so I live my life in memory
Surrendering to God, what now must be
But here on earth I know the angels sing
When I hear your voice I know God’s listening

Chorus

And I will always be your mother here
And I will speak your name for all to hear
And God will be with you ’til I get there
My child on earth above in heaven’s care
My child on earth above in heaven’s care.

My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care, All Music & Lyrics:©Beth Brown, My Forever Son

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Songs for Child Loss: You’re Free Now Child

About this Song:

In shock and the immediate aftermath of his death, I felt lost without my son. I didn’t know what to say or do, where to go or how to be without him.

“You’re Free Now Child” is my trying to convince myself that I would be okay going forward without my son. Letting go of my son was impossible. I wanted to be with him. To see where he was. To know he was safe. I felt utterly lost without him.

And I can’t see where you’ve gone
And I don’t know how to just go on
Without you can’t find my way
Don’t know where to go or what to say
How to breathe without you now
When it aches upon my soul

You’re Free Now Child: A Song About Child Loss“You’re Free Now Child,” All music and lyrics ©Beth Brown

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The Song: You’re Free Now Child

Listen to the Song: My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care

Lyrics to “You’re Free Now Child”

You’re Free Now Child

Verse 1

I can’t see where you’ve gone
And I don’t know how to just go on
Without you can’t find my way
Don’t know where to go or what to say
How to breathe without you now
When it aches upon my soul

In my heart, you live forever, with me by my side
In my life, you’re all I ever wanted
My child, my one true love
Without you here, each day that passes
is just another day I must survive

Chorus

How to keep on keeping on
How to open up my eyes
Again to see what God has done
You’re free now child of mine to fly

So rest on easy fly on by
Soul travel now to be with God
My dearest child, my heart of mine
Know I’ll be there when it’s time

Verse 2

I miss you more than words
More than galaxies are wide
I long to hold you as you were
To have you reach across inside
To where you live forever
And to where I hold you close for life

Chorus

How to keep on keeping on
How to open up my eyes
Again to see what God has done
You’re free now child of mine to fly

So rest on easy fly on by
Soul travel now to be with God
My dearest child, my heart of mine
Know I’ll be there when it’s time

You’re Free Now Child, All Music & Lyrics: ©Beth Brown, My Forever Son

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Songs for Child Loss: Instrumental Guitar Music for Grief

About this Song

I wrote this song on my 12-string acoustic. There’s a certain resonance and depth that comes from my 12-string guitar. Plaintive. Lonely. With a lilt. A lift that always circles back to the sway of the strings.

Unaccompanied by words, I titled this song “Music for Grief.”

Music for Grief

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Songs for Child Loss: If I Could Find My Way

If I Could Find My Way: A Song About Losing My Son to Suicide

ABOUT THIS POST: If I Could Find My Way is an intimate song I wrote about the intense longing and ache I felt after losing my son to suicide. I sat down with my guitar, hit “play” on my recorder (which was my iPad), and began composing.

The version that follows is my rough draft of this song where the words and haunting melody tumbled out from the depths of my grief.

You can find more songs about losing a child to suicide here: Songs for Child Loss.

Losing My Identity

When I lost my son to suicide, I lost my identity. Without Dylan, I no longer knew who I was. There is a confusion of identity when you lose a child to suicide. I lost who I was June 25, 2012 when I lost my 20-year-old son to suicide.

Everything changed. My world changed. And who I was and had always been vanished.

Writing to Make Sense of My World

It’s been 11 years since Dylan’s suicide, but I still write.

I write the blog, My Forever Son; plus poems, some of which are included in this blog and some that I publish as books; plus music-songs and lyrics for child loss-that appears here on this blog; plus books about losing a child to suicide.

I write to make sense of my world, to process my grief, and to find my way in a world forever changed without my son.

Carrying Ache and Love

The song, “If I Could Find My Way,” is unfinished because I am unfinished. Hope and healing come after losing a child to suicide, but the grief becomes a part of you that you learn to carry along with the love you will always have for your child.

When you lose a child to suicide, asking “Why?” is part of the grief process. Suicide has no easy answers. And sadly, blaming yourself is part of the messy grief that suicide leaves behind.

Feeling Guilt and Self-Blame

If only. . . What if?, Why didn’t I? Why did I? What didn’t I see? What didn’t I do? What did I miss? Begging the question of Why? creates a loop of circular reasoning that can haunt parents.

Someone in a support group for parents who lose a child to suicide had a healing message for parents stuck in the self-blame and guilt-ridden loop: Change the What If? to Even Though.

Change the What If? to Even Though

Even though I loved Dylan with all that I am, even though I sought help for his depression, even though . . . means that if my love could have saved my son, he would have lived forever.

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If I Could Find My Way: A Song About Losing My Son to Suicide

“If I Could Find My Way,” All Music/Lyrics ©Beth Brown, 2023

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Song Lyrics: If I Could Find My Way

IF I COULD FIND MY WAY

If I could find my way    
Turn the night to day
Capture all the stars
Illuminate this broken heart
Then I might find my way
Back home to you

If I could hold you tight
I'd never let you fly away from me,
I'd break the skies apart that made it dark
Erase the pain that made you doubt 
Your love in me

If I could hold you tight
I'd never let you fly away from me
I'd break the skies apart that made it dark
Erase the pain that made you doubt
You could come back home

If I could hold you tight
I'd never let you fly away from me
I'd break the skies apart
I'd break the pain that made you doubt 
You were ever loved

If I keep holding on
Do I get to see you soon my son,
I want you now
If I keep holding on 
Will I find I'm holding you

All music/lyrics ©Beth Brown, 2023
"If I Could Find My Way"

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A Book of Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide

About the Book, Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide

Bury My Heart is a collection of original poems, arranged in 5 sections, about losing a child to suicide. Some of the poems in the book can be previewed here: Find Hope Here: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide

A Deep Sorrow: This section delves into the profound grief experienced by a parent who has lost a child to suicide. The poems within this section explore the overwhelming sadness, emptiness, and despair that accompany such a devastating loss.

Earth, Sky, Moon, Stars: Here, the poems draw upon elements of nature as metaphors to express the pain and longing felt by the bereaved parent. The earth, sky, moon, and stars serve as poignant symbols of the connection between the parent and the lost child, and the void left in the wake of their absence.

Why?: This section grapples with the haunting question that often arises after a child’s suicide: Why did this happen? The poems within this segment navigate the feelings of confusion, guilt, anger, and the overwhelming desire to understand the reasons behind the tragic event.

In Losing You, I Lost Me Too: Exploring the aftermath of the loss, this section reflects the profound impact a child’s suicide has on a parent’s sense of self. The poems delve into themes of identity, self-blame, and the struggle to find meaning and purpose amidst the immense pain.

That My Love Travel With You Always: Conveying a sense of love, longing, and eternal connection, this final section of the book focuses on cherishing the memory of the lost child. The poems here speak to the unending love a parent holds for their departed child, the hope that their spirit finds peace, and the desire to ensure their love travels with them forever.

DOWNLOAD 3 FREE POEMS: You can download 3 free poems about losing a child to suicide here: Download 3 Free Poems

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