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Child Loss Healing Grief Hope and Healing On Wings of Hope Songs about Losing a Child Songs About Losing a Child to Suicide

Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story

Close-up of a silver and gold electric guitar resting on a dark leather surface, showcasing its details and texture, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother's Story
A close-up of an electric guitar, highlighting its unique design and craftsmanship, symbolizing the healing power of music in the grieving process, My Forever Son, Finding Solace in Music After Loss

Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story

Key Takeaways

  • In Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story, Beth Brown shares her healing journey through music after losing her son to suicide, highlighting emotional expression and solace.
  • Her blog, ‘My Forever Son,’ features original songs and poems that capture her grief while offering paths toward healing.
  • Music serves as a powerful tool for processing emotions and honoring the memory of loved ones, providing comfort during difficult times.
  • Songs like ‘You’re Free Now Child’ and ‘My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care’ embody the profound emotions of loss and hope.
  • Brown invites readers to explore her music and writing, emphasizing the transformative nature of finding solace in music after loss.

Summary

Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story Beth Brown, a mother who lost her son to suicide, shares her healing journey through music and writing on her blog, “My Forever Son.” Her blog features original poems, songs, and narratives about her grief, including songs like “My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care” and “You’re Free Now Child.” Music serves as a powerful tool for emotional release, memory connection, and finding solace in the face of unimaginable loss.

Introduction

Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story shares a heartfelt and poignant personal journey through the pain of losing a son to suicide. This narrative is beautifully blended with original music compositions and song lyrics that resonate with profound sorrow while gently illuminating the gradual journey toward healing and hope.

The author’s poignant original music compositions, heartfelt song lyrics, and deeply personal reflections create a raw and authentic narrative that invites readers into her experience. These songs express the profound impact of her loss, capturing the ongoing struggle to find solace and healing through the transformative power of music and writing.

A black and white artistic image featuring a blurred, layered portrait of a person with an expressive gesture, surrounded by exploring the theme of grief and healing through creative expression, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother's Story,
An artistic representation of emotions in the aftermath of loss, exploring the theme of grief and healing through creative expression, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story.

Meet the Author, Beth Brown

A smiling woman with long brown hair partially covering her face, wearing a green sweater, sitting in a cozy setting, Author Beth Brown, sharing her journey of healing and love after loss, My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
Author Beth Brown, sharing her journey of healing and love after loss, My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide

Getting to Know the Heart Behind the Words

A Heart Unbroken: The Journey of Healing

Thirteen years ago, a heart-wrenching tragedy shattered the life of a mother when she lost her only son, Dylan, to suicide. I am that mother, and my beloved son had just turned 20 years old.

I loved my son fiercely, but love was not enough to save Dylan from his struggles with depression.

On an academic scholarship at a prestigious university, Dylan had continued his studies in art and music, choosing to major in Digital Media. I loved my son fiercely, but love was not enough to save Dylan from his struggles with depression.

Weeping Even in My Sleep

  • Grief exhausted all of me. Who I was went away, or at least lived suspended from the depths of what seemed bottomless grief. In early grief (for me the first three years after losing Dylan), my life felt impossible.
  • Tears everywhere. Weeping even in my sleep. Unable to function in my professional life, I found everything in my life had changed. I couldn’t meet the challenges of everyday life. I was consumed with grief and mourning.
  • I knew nothing about suicide, only what I’d read about or what I’d seen in movies. I began to search for books and resources. I knew I needed support; I just didn’t know where to turn.

My Sanctuary and Saving Grace

  • I began blogging in 2015. My sanctuary and saving grace, writing/blogging was a place where pain and love could coexist. Little did I know that as grief settled in for the long haul, my pain and love will always coexist for my son.
  • I carry both ache and love, for they both are my love for my son. The pages of my blog were extended journal entries, filled with original poems, songs, and narratives from that deepest place of ache and love, my grief and my healing.
  • Before losing my son, I had thrived as a writing and literature teacher, inspiring students with the power of words and the strength of their voice. Now my own story was unfolding, filled with sorrow and strength, ache and love.

Discovering My Voice Once More

  • Through my writing, I discovered my voice once more; although irrevocably transformed by the profound loss I experienced, my words captured the gradual journey of learning to navigate life with both grief and love.
  • As the seasons changed, so did I, embracing healing in its many forms, writing poems, songs, reflections, stories, and articles.
  • Though the pain of losing Dylan remained, I learned to celebrate his life through memories and stories told. I found joy in small things—a warm cup of tea, the rustle of leaves, a good book—each moment a reminder of the love that still lived within me.

I found joy in small things—a warm cup of tea, the rustle of leaves, a good book—each moment a reminder of the love that still lived within me.

  • And so I continue to write, to heal, and to love—my heart unbroken, forever carrying my son with me in this wilderness of life.

Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide

I’ve created a poignant collection of poems, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, that explores the profound journey of healing after the heartbreaking loss of a child to suicide. This collection is now available on Amazon Kindle, offering heartfelt comfort and solace for those navigating their grief.

Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
Link to Book

My Forever Son

guitarist playing acoustic guitar, My Forever Son, Songs of Hope: Music for Child Loss

My Forever Son explores the profound grief, hope, and healing that follow the tragedy of losing a child to suicide.

My Forever Son dovetails the author’s journey of descending into deep grief, searching for hope, and finding healing along the way.

Table of Contents

A musician performing on stage with a guitar, surrounded by dramatic lighting and a misty atmosphere, Finding Solace in Music After Loss, My Forever Son
A live performance showcasing the emotional connection between music and healing, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story, My Forever Son

music can be a powerful tool for healing and finding hope

Navigating the profound grief of losing a child to suicide is an unimaginable pain. Finding solace in music during such difficult times can offer a unique path to process emotions and honor a child’s memory. 

Emotional Expression and Release

When Dylan died by suicide, I couldn’t listen to any music. None. Six weeks after my son’s suicide, I was invited to a summer cookout. I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t know then that I could say “no” even after I had previously said “yes.” I felt obligated to try to join my friends on this outing, though my heart was weeping with grief. Now I know I should have listened to my heart.

My friends were bubbly and upbeat, perhaps all the more so in the wake of my devastating grief. Four of us rode in one car and immediately, on came the radio. It didn’t matter what song it was. It didn’t matter the genre of music or the artist. It didn’t matter if it was a slow beat or a dance beat or anything in-between, I fell apart. Tears poured down my cheeks and I heaved, gulped, struggled to try to maintain any kind of composure with my friends. It was useless. Grief had all of me at that time.

Because I was riding in the backseat, one of my friends who was driving wanted to know what was wrong. Perhaps as a side note, this friend is not my “friend” anymore. “What’s the big deal?” he callously asked, hearing my weeping from the backseat. “Shhh. . .can’t you see?” but obviously he couldn’t, or didn’t want to “see” what a puddle of grief I was at the first hint of music.

I literally lost my voice when I lost Dylan. The songs included here are mere breathy whispers from a USB mic on my office desk. Once upon a lifetime ago, that is pre-suicide, I had a home recording studio, replete with professional recording equipment. I played guitar, sang, wrote and recorded music, and played out (gigged) regularly.

But this is not the version of me (recorded here in these songs) that plays out as a professional musician. This is the vulnerable, falling-apart, deep down into the abyss of grief acute grief part of me. My voice is a whimper, my hands are playing guitar from memory, and my heart did the writing. Something inside me rose up to write these songs. Someone inside me, I still hear Dylan say, “Play Guitar, Mom–just play guitar.”

There’s way more to this story, but the day is growing short and night descends. Eventually, this story will appear in a book I’m writing, but just for now, this much will have to do. I give you the raw, unfiltered, raspy, broken version of my insides-out. Some might ask, when do you stop grieving the loss of a child to suicide. I can only share what I know: you’ll live, even though it feels like you won’t, and your life will never be the same. How long do you grieve the child you loved? You grieve as long as you love your child. At 13 years out, I’m still grieving.

Functioning, yes, happy even, sometimes, yes, and different, yes, but still mixed emotions everywhere. Bittersweet tinged with an edge of ache laced with true happiness for another’s celebration of their own child. Dylan is always with me, but God how I wish he were here. Here now. As is, I live as is, as now.

Here are the songs included in this post, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story:

P.S., I’d include more (I’ve written a lot more), but my heart is heavy and writing forward helps me cope with pain backwards. Sometimes I keep on keeping on by writing my way through it. To stop or slow down would be to succumb to an ache and an ocean of tears I’m not sure would ever stop.

Songs in Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story

  • “My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care: A Lullaby of Hope” by Beth Brown, expresses the raw emotions of grief while also embracing hope for the future.  My Forever Son blog provides further resources for parents experiencing similar loss.
  • “You’re Free Now Child” by Beth Brown, delves into the pain of loss and the longing to be reunited with her child, offering a path towards healing through acceptance.
  • Instrumental Grief Music for Hope and Healing offers comforting beautiful melodic guitar music written by Beth Brown and performed on 12-string acoustic.
  • If I Could Find My Way is an intimate song I wrote about the intense longing and ache I felt after losing my son to suicide.
A close-up of a hand playing a guitar, captured in black and white, emphasizing the emotional connection to music, My Forever Son, Finding Solace in Music After Loss
A musician passionately playing a guitar in a dimly lit setting, symbolizing the healing power of music in expressing grief and finding solace, My Forever Son,Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story

Audio for Songs: Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story

My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care

My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care, All music & lyrics ©Beth Brown, My Forever Son

You’re Free Now Child

You’re Free Now Child, All music and Lyrics. ©Beth Brown, My Forever Son

Instrumental Grief Music for Hope and Healing

Instrumental Acoustic Guitar Music for Grief and Healing, written and played by Beth Brown, Dylan’s Mom

If I Could Find My Way

If I Could Find My Way, All Music/Lyrics ©Beth Brown, My Forever Son
A handwritten lyric sheet with a butterfly decoration on the side, featuring emotional lyrics about a child's love and loss, Grieving Through Music: A Mother's Story, My Forever Son
Handwritten notes and lyrics for the song ‘My Child on Earth Above In Heaven’s Care’, illustrating the emotional journey of a grieving mother, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story, My Forever Son

Behind the Lyrics: Stories of the Songs

Discovering the Story of “My Child on Earth in Heaven’s Care”

A Dark Room With A Single Candle For Light

In a dark room with a single candle for light. My acoustic guitar. Tears streaming down my face and with my voice barely above a whisper. “As I tuck you in, I lay me down.” A downward descent with my voice. Melodic. Soothing. Over and again, “As I tuck you in, I lay me down.

And so what began as my strumming my guitar and singing “As I tuck you in, I lay me down” “became” a fully-fledged song. A song with a rhythm and picked “pattern meant to soothe a child, the song soothed me as I grieved the loss of my son.

A Melody and Rhythm Emblematic for My Grief

A lullaby melody and rhythm meant for rocking and soothing a child became emblematic for my grief, and I titled the song My Child on Earth Above In Heaven’s Care.

In saying good night to my son, I was really saying goodbye to him.

My Child on Earth in Heaven’s Care, ©Beth Brown, 2024

Song Lyrics: “My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care”

My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care

As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall to sleep, I pray for you
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too
My child, my love, my heart, may God keep and love you

And you will be forevermore
Safe from this world and so adored
And God will be your comforter
And I will always thank God for rescuing you
And I will always praise God for loving you too

And so I live my life in memory
Surrendering to God, what now must be
But here on earth I know the angels sing
When I hear your voice I know God’s listening

And I will always be your mother here
And I will speak your name for all to hear
And God will be with you ’til I get there
My child on earth above in heaven’s care
My child on earth above in heaven’s care.

©Beth Brown, 2024, My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care

A close-up of a person playing an acoustic guitar, capturing their hands and tattoo, set against a blurred textured background, a poignant moment captured as a musician expresses their emotions through music, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother's Story
A songwriter’s hands strumming an acoustic guitar, reflecting the intimate connection between music and healing from grief, a poignant moment captured as a musician expresses their emotions through music, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story

Finding Hope Through the Story Behind Instrumental Grief Music

The Beautiful Resonance of a 12-String Acoustic

I wrote this song on my 12-string acoustic. There’s a certain resonance and depth that comes from my 12-string guitar. Plaintive. Lonely. With a lilt. A lift and a lilt that always circles back to the sway of the 12 strings instilled with melancholy.

An acoustic guitar resting on a bed, illuminated by soft, ambient light creating shadows of a window grille on the wall, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother's Story
An acoustic guitar rests on a bed, bathed in soft light, symbolizing the healing power of music in times of grief, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story

Instrumental Grief Music for Hope and Healing

Acoustic 12-String Guitar Original music: All music composed and performed by Beth Brown,©2024

Plaintive. Lonely. With a lilt. A lift and a lilt that always circles back to the sway of the 12 strings instilled with melancholy.

A serene, ethereal image of a woman with angelic wings, standing in a mystical forest under a glowing moon, surrounded by shimmering light and birds flying in the background, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother's Storyinding Solace in Music After Loss
A serene and ethereal image representing hope and healing in the face of loss, featured in the context of a mother’s journey through grief, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story

Hope is Found in the Story Behind the Song: “You’re Free Now Child”

In shock and the immediate aftermath of his death, I felt lost without my son. I didn’t know what to say or do, where to go or how to be without him.

“You’re Free Now Child” is my trying to convince myself that I would be okay going forward without my son. Letting go of my son was impossible. I wanted to be with him. To see where he was. To know he was safe. I felt utterly lost without him.

And I can’t see where you’ve gone
And I don’t know how to just go on
Without you can’t find my way
Don’t know where to go or what to say
How to breathe without you now
When it aches upon my soul

You’re Free Now Child: A Song About Child Loss, All music and lyrics, Beth Brown, 2024
Handwritten song lyrics with crossed-out words and notes, reflecting revisions and emotional content related to grief and loss, Lyrics and notes for 'You're Free Now Child' reflect the author's emotional journey through grief and healing, Grieving Through Music: A Mother's Story My Forever Son
Handwritten lyrics for ‘You’re Free Now Child,’ capturing the emotional journey of loss and longing, Lyrics and notes for ‘You’re Free Now Child’ reflect the author’s emotional journey through grief and healing, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story, My Forever Son
You’re Free Now Child, All music/lyrics composed and performed © Beth Brown, 2024

Lyrics: “You’re Free Now Child”

You’re Free Now Child

Verse 1

I can’t see where you’ve gone
And I don’t know how to just go on
Without you can’t find my way
Don’t know where to go or what to say
How to breathe without you now
When it aches upon my soul

In my heart, you live forever, with me by my side
In my life, you’re all I ever wanted
My child, my one true love
Without you here, each day that passes
is just another day I must survive

Chorus

How to keep on keeping on
How to open up my eyes
Again to see what God has done
You’re free now child of mine to fly

So rest on easy fly on by
Soul travel now to be with God
My dearest child, my heart of mine
Know I’ll be there when it’s time

Verse 2

I miss you more than words
More than galaxies are wide
I long to hold you as you were
To have you reach across inside
To where you live forever
And to where I hold you close for life

Chorus

How to keep on keeping on
How to open up my eyes
Again to see what God has done
You’re free now child of mine to fly

So rest on easy fly on by
Soul travel now to be with God
My dearest child, my heart of mine
Know I’ll be there when it’s time

You’re Free Now Child, All Music & Lyrics: ©Beth Brown, 2024

Letting Go of My Son Was Impossible; I Wanted to Be With Him

Letting go of my son was impossible. I wanted to be with him. To see where he was. To know he was safe. I felt utterly lost without him.

A collection of three guitars on a stand, including an acoustic guitar and two electric guitars, set against a rustic brick wall and a basket. The scene conveys a warm, inviting atmosphere, emphasizing the role of music in personal expression, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother's Story
A collection of guitars, each representing a different facet of musical expression, showcased in a cozy setting, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story
If I Could Find My Way, All Music/Lyrics ©Beth Brown, My Forever Son

Song Lyrics: If I Could Find My Way

If I Could Find My Way

If I could find my way    
Turn the night to day
Capture all the stars
Illuminate this broken heart
Then I might find my way
Back home to you

If I could hold you tight
I'd never let you fly away from me,
I'd break the skies apart that made it dark
Erase the pain that made you doubt 
Your love in me

If I could hold you tight
I'd never let you fly away from me
I'd break the skies apart that made it dark
Erase the pain that made you doubt
You could come back home

If I could hold you tight
I'd never let you fly away from me
I'd break the skies apart
I'd break the pain that made you doubt 
You were ever loved

If I keep holding on
Do I get to see you soon my son,
I want you now
If I keep holding on 
Will I find I'm holding you

All music/lyrics ©Beth Brown, 2023
If I Could Find My Way

Deep Yearning for My Son

If I Could Find My Way is an intimate song I wrote about the intense longing and ache I felt after losing my son to suicide.

I sat down with my guitar, hit “play” on my recorder (which was my iPad), and began composing.

The version that follows is my rough draft of this song where the words and haunting melody tumbled out from the depths of my grief.

Losing My Identity

When I lost my son to suicide, I lost my identity.

Without Dylan, I no longer knew who I was.

There is a confusion of identity when you lose a child to suicide.

I lost who I was June 25, 2012 when I lost my 20-year-old son to suicide.

When I lost my son–Everything changed.

When I lost my son–Everything changed. My world changed. And who I was and had always been vanished.

A young man smiling while sitting on a staircase, wearing a black t-shirt with a graphic design, with short, layered hair, A joyful moment captured, reflecting the lightness of life and the joy of music, a fitting tribute to the theme of healing through creativity, Dylan, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother's Story
A joyful moment captured, reflecting the lightness of life and the joy of music, a fitting tribute to the theme of healing through creativity, Dylan, My Forever Son, Grieving Through Music: A Mother’s Story
Pink flowers trail over a cream and brown stoneware flower pot resting on bricks, symbolizing hope and resilience, My Forever Son, A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son
Pink flowers trail over a cream and brown stoneware flower pot resting on bricks, symbolizing hope and resilience, My Forever Son, A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son

Author’s Note: A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son

Twelve years ago, I lost my 20-year-old son, Dylan, to suicide, a heartbreaking event that shattered my world and plunged me into a dark period of grief.

During those long months, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and thoughts, questioning everything around me and struggling to make sense of what will never make sense. I entered into a deep grief filled with solitude and despair, a darkness so bleak I questioned ever being able to see light again.

In the beginning, I had no words. No voice. No ability to express the grief I was feeling.

My words were lost in torrents of tears, in stark contrast to the vibrant discussions I used to lead in my college composition and literature classes.

Perhaps it’s important to preface that I was teaching college composition and literature when I lost my son to suicide, a tragedy that shattered all of me. The irony of discussing the complexities of human emotion with my students while grappling with my own profound sorrow was not lost on me.

Each day, I faced the challenge of maintaining my professional facade, all the while battling an internal tempest that seemed insurmountable, wondering how to bridge the chasm between my role as an educator and the personal devastation I was enduring.

Wild purple geraniums surrounded by green leaves near a water pond in mid-summer, symbolizing hope and a moment of tranquility, My Forever Son, A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son
Wild purple geraniums surrounded by green leaves in mid-summer, symbolizing hope and a moment of tranquility, My Forever Son, A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son

My Life Before Losing My Son

Books, lectures, teaching—I once felt empowered by my voice, a resonant tool for sharing ideas and knowledge. It was a time when I believed in the strength of my words and the influence they carried, inspiring others to think deeply and engage in meaningful conversations.

I reveled in the connections I forged through sharing my thoughts, feeling a sense of purpose in my contributions to the world. But when Dylan died by suicide, I felt consumed by my grief. My heart collapsed inward in sharp pain, I retreated from the outside world, and my words eluded me.

Teaching was impossible. Losing Dylan shattered my life, leaving me, on the outside at least, grappling with an overwhelming silence that echoed louder than any lecture or written page.

On the inside, I was screaming sounds I did not recognize as my own.

The Depth of My Loss Brought My Life to a Standstill

The vibrant energy that once fueled my passion for writing vanquished, and I found myself questioning everything without being able to lend voice to the confusion and overwhelming feelings I was moving through in my grief.

The depth of my loss silenced the joy I once derived from sharing my thoughts and connecting with others.

All of my life came to a standstill as I entered a place of deep grief. It is only in retrospect and in these twelve years past my son’s suicide that I see how all-consuming my grief was.

Diminishing the confidence that fuels expression, my grief stifled my voice completely. It’s been a difficult battle to reclaim my sense of self amidst such sorrow.

A Poetic Quest for Self-Forgiveness and Healing

Journaling was awkward. I couldn’t put all the pain I was feeling into words that did justice to the enormity of my heartbreak. But I kept writing. Slowly, in keeping a record of my grief, I realized I was creating a poetic journey about losing a child to suicide.

A close-up of a vibrant red rose surrounded by green leaves, set against a textured gray wall, symbolizing hope and renewal, My Forever Son, Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
A vibrant red rose blooms amidst lush green leaves, symbolizing hope and renewal in the journey of healing, My Forever Son, Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

“Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing”

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems and reflections by Beth Brown, the compassionate voice behind the My Forever Son blog. This poignant work navigates the deep, overwhelming sorrow that accompanies the tragic loss of a child to suicide. In her writing, Brown bravely shares her personal journey through grief, revealing how the act of writing poetry and connecting with the beauty of nature became vital sources of comfort and healing for her in the midst of such profound pain.

Through the author’s heartfelt verses, she reaches out with warmth and understanding to those who are journeying through their own sorrows. With her enchanting photography of the trees, shrubs, and flowers that grace her gardens throughout the seasons, Brown lovingly shares a beacon of hope, brightly illuminating the shadows cast by grief.

On Finding Hope: Photographing My Gardens Brings Healing

In nature, I find calm in the wake of profound sorrow and healing in the cycling of the seasons. Predictable. Beautiful in the spring, promising renewal after a long winter’s rest. Brilliant hues in the summer months. Autumn bringing trees and shrubs bejeweled in vivid reds, oranges, and reds. And then the stillness and monochromatic sketch of what can be a too long winter’s sleep.

Winter Wonderland: Captivating Photos in My Gardens

Snow covered branches of a saucer cup Magnolia in winter, My Forever Son, Suicide: It Never Lets Go
A stark image of a magnolia tree in winter, framed by an ever-green Norway Spruce in the background, all against a blue sky with dark clouds above tinged with light that seems surreal, My Forever Son, A Poem About Being Haunted by Guilt After Losing My Son to Suicide: Still From Sky I'm Falling
Snow-covered branches of a magnolia tree in winter framed by brick wall and snow in the background, My Forever Son, c
A small bird, a junco with a gray topside and a white underside, in a triangle of sunlight across a snow-covered pond, photographed for My Forever Son, An Abrupt Awakening: Foray Into the Holidays 2015 and The Holidays Descend Suicide Never Ends
Glistening Snow reflecting sun's prisms in tree shadows in winter, rose bush with brown leaves of winter in foreground, my forever son, The holidays descend: suicide never ends and Reflections on Grief in Year 6 After Losing My Son to Suicide
Winter Magnolia Tree Shadow in Snow with Brick Wall, My Forever Son, Suicide: It Never Lets Go and The Holidays Descend Suicide Never Ends, Suicide: It Never Lets Go
Winter snow looking out over a low brick wall through a bare tree into the glare of the sun, photographed for My Forever Son, An Abrupt Awakening, Foray into the Holidays and He Left Too Soon, Also A Mother's Reflections after Losing My Son to Suicide
Snow-covered brick wall with intricate woven brick work pattern in late afternoon winter, My Forever Son, Journals from the Heart
Winter Sun in Blue Sky with a Few Wispy White Clouds Shining through Bare Trees, My Forever Son, The Holidays Descend: Suicide Never Ends
A red-bellied woodpecker at a bird-feeder in winter with snow on ground, My Forever Son, A Poem About Being Haunted by Guilt After Losing My Son to Suicide: Still From Sky I'm Falling

A Long Winter’s Rest for Trees, Shrubs, and Flowers

This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken.

This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken. An empty landscape. Gray skies for months. A blanket of snow in white, though only the stark limbs of trees and shrubs. At times, though, red berries appear on some shrubs, supplying food for birds and wildlife. All this to say I can’t see life against this wintry scene.

But in photographing nature through the seasons, I began to see (again), the brilliance of a long winter’s rest for trees, shrubs, and flowers. To study nature and botany is to realize that what appears lifeless is actually the process of life within all of nature renewing itself. Trusting in what I cannot see brings hope and healing.

Spring Brings Hope: Photographs of My Gardens

Yellow center white petals daffodil cluster in early spring framed by brick wall in background, My Forever Son, Navigating Grief: 5 Years After Losing My Son and Finding Hope, Healing and Resilience in Nature
Creamy White and Yellow Daffodils in Early Spring
Purple Crocus on Slender Green and White Striped Stalks Getting Ready to Open in Early Spring, My Forever Son, How to Survive the First Year After Losing Your Child to Suicide
Pink Raspberry Azalea in Spring Bloom, My Forever Son, Healing Through Poetry: Grieving a Child's Loss
Tender pink blossoms of a pink crabapple tree in early spring, My Forever Son, About My Forever Son: A Journey Through Grief
Purple Phlox in Spring Leading to Water Pond with Cascading Waterfall Rocks, and pink spring flowers, My Forever Son, Navigating the Ever-changing Landscape of Grief: Reflecting on Year Nine
Beautiful Pink and white striped phlox surround a water pond with 2 waterfalls in early spring, My Forever Son, Coping with Grief: Strategies for Memorial Dates
Pink Phlox in Bloom Close Up, Photographed for My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide, Living Backwards Going Forward
Lavender Phlox in Spring, My Forever Son,
Robin in Early Spring Coldsnap
Peach flowering quince blossoms in full bloom in spring, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide

Spring Brings Beauty and Hope

Even against the cold remnants of a long winter–scattered clumps of snow, a robin redbreast plumped out to keep itself warm against a late March frost, brown dried leaves with nary a sign of color anywhere, spring breaks through. At first just small bits of color. A hint of purple as crocus push through thawing ground, then the vivid yellows of daffodils leaning towards the sun and the suddenness of blue bells. Rhododendron yawns and stretches its lavender limbs to awaken azalea, still sleepy with snow though greening beneath it all.

What seems forever gone in the gray doldrums of winter arrives with an abundance of joy come spring.

Writing My Way Through Grief to Find Hope and Healing

Snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections

Three years into my grief, I began writing journal entries. Short. A few feelings. About my day and where I was in my grief journey. Then slowly, snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections. Words shaped the deep feelings and emotional longing in my heart, and as I continued writing, I began to find small glimpses of hope in unexpected ways.

Photographing my gardens garnered a way to coalesce all the many feelings and words I’d been unable to express. And the more I photographed through the seasons, the more glimmers of hope I found along the way.

Each poignant poem in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a dedicated blog post in its own right, replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

The poems included in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing appear below. Each poem is a blog post in its own right, oftentimes replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

Each poem moves the reader through the profound emotions of grief and healing after losing a child.

Many of the poems tell narratives I remember from my son’s childhood. This is significant–reconstructing the narrative of our lives during his growing-up years brings release for all the love and beautiful memories before the trauma of losing him. Writing these poems and narratives, these poetic reflections on love and loss, have helped me learn to carry love and ache together.

Still I write. Still I heal. Still I miss my son.

From Shattered Hearts to Quiet Hope: Poems and Reflections for Parents of Suicide Loss

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

If you are reading this, you know the unique and overwhelming grief of losing a child to suicide. This collection is for you—a place to find words and images that honor your pain, offer comfort, and gently invite hope.

Curated by Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide, these poems and reflections move through the rawness of early trauma, the depths of acute grief, and the slow journey toward healing, even thirteen years later. Each post pairs heartfelt writing with stunning garden photography, inspired by Beth’s own search for solace in nature’s resilience.

Hope can be quiet—listen for it in moments of rest.

You are invited to explore at your own pace. Choose what resonates—whether it’s a poem that mirrors your sorrow, a reflection that offers comfort, or an image that whispers hope. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

Contemplation Prompt:
Pause with a garden image. What does it say to you about survival, growth, or hope?

About the Author, Beth Brown: Writing My Way Through Grief

The love you shared endures beyond loss.

This collection is lovingly curated by Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. Over thirteen years, Beth’s journey through the depths of grief has been shaped by poetry, reflection, and the healing presence of her gardens. Through My Forever Son, she shares how nature’s resilience and beauty offer moments of solace and hope, even in the face of unimaginable loss.

Explore These Poems and Reflections at Your Own Pace

You are invited to explore these poems and reflections at your own pace. Each post pairs heartfelt words with stunning garden photography, offering comfort, understanding, and gentle encouragement for wherever you are in your grief. Select what speaks to you—let these pages be a companion on your path toward healing. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

Journaling Prompt:
What memories of your child bring both tears and warmth? Write a few lines, letting your heart speak freely.

You are not alone. Healing is a journey, and hope can bloom—even here.

Message of Hope:
Even in the darkest seasons, a single flower can remind us that beauty and life persist. Let these poems be gentle companions as you move through your grief.

FIND HOPE HERE: POEMS AND POETIC REFLECTIONS ON GRIEF AND HEALING

Poems about Losing a Child to Suicide

Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message

Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message Summary Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message explores the profound grief and regret of losing a child to suicide through the poem, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon,” by author Beth Brown. Through vivid imagery and heartfelt repetition, the poem captures the enduring love…

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Poems

When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’

When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ Summary When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ unravels the profound complexities surrounding suicide, featuring an impactful poem and a heartfelt treatise by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand.” This poignant article and poetic reflection encourage readers…

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Healing Grief

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience Summary The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience explores the author’s journey of grief through the metaphor of a Magnolia tree’s cyclical seasons. The author uses photography to illustrate the parallels between nature’s cycles and the seasons of grief, finding hope and healing in…

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For Parents

Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing

Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing Key Takeaways Summary Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing shares author Beth Brown’s journey of grief and healing after losing her son, Dylan, to suicide. Through poetry and nature photography, she finds solace and a way to express her overwhelming emotions after suicide loss.…

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poems of love and loss

“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope

“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope Summary “Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope addresses grieving parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child to suicide. It underscores the profound importance of honoring their child’s memory through meaningful rituals, sharing heartfelt stories, and engaging in advocacy events that…

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Embracing Grief: A Mother’s Poetic Journey

From journaling to discovering the poetic language that encapsulates my grief, I penned my path to healing, culminating in the creation of my book, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide.

The anthology of poems in this book provides a profound and moving examination of grief, intricately intertwining original verses that delve into themes of loss, guilt, hope, self-forgiveness, and the path to healing. Expertly curated, the arrangement of poems invites deep reflection, serving as a treasured companion for those in search of solace and connection during difficult times.

The Story of My Forever Son

A vibrant red rose in full bloom surrounded by green leaves, symbolizing beauty and remembrance, My Forever Son, The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother's Grief
A vibrant red rose blooming amidst green leaves, symbolizing love and remembrance, My Forever Son, What Happened? The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief

What Happened? The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief

I started this blog, My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide in 2015, three years into my journey of grief. You can read more about what happened here: The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief recounts the author’s harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Her story highlights her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing, especially through works like the “If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)” poem: reflections on love and loss. The blog “My Forever Son” came about as a way for the author to work through this devastating grief that follows the loss of a child to suicide. My Forever Son blog serves as a platform for sharing experiences and finding healing and solace in community.

A close-up of peach-colored flowers surrounded by vibrant green leaves, showcasing nature's beauty.
Delicate coral flowers surrounded by lush green leaves, symbolizing the beauty and resilience of nature amidst grief, My Forever Son, Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing offers a heartfelt collection of poems that deeply resonate with the profound sorrow of parents who have experienced the unimaginable pain of losing a child to suicide. These poignant verses navigate the intense emotions of this tragic loss, beautifully capturing the stages of grief while gently guiding readers towards hope and healing on their journey through grief.

A large magnolia tree in full bloom with pink flowers, surrounded by a grassy area covered in fallen petals, A majestic magnolia tree in full bloom, , My Forever Son, The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience,
A majestic magnolia tree in full bloom, symbolizing resilience and beauty amidst grief, The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience, My Forever Son

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience, explores the author’s journey of grief through the metaphor of a Magnolia tree’s cyclical seasons. The author uses photography to illustrate the parallels between nature’s cycles and the seasons of grief, finding hope and healing in writing, gardening, and nature’s resilience. The Magnolia tree’s resilience symbolizes renewal and the possibility of finding joy again despite profound heartbreak. After reflections on nature’s resilience, the author reflects on grief and healing (echoes of joy and shadows of loss) after losing her son to suicide.

Close-up portrait of a woman with short hair, looking contemplative and introspective, with soft lighting highlighting her facial features capturing the depth of emotion and resilience in the journey of grief and healing, Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources, My Forever Son
A reflective moment capturing the depth of emotion and resilience in the journey of grief and healing, Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources, My Forever Son

Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources

Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources offers an extensive collection of resources aimed at helping parents understand the complexities of suicide to help with their profound grief. This invaluable guide not only provides insights but also connects parents with supportive communities, fostering a sense of belonging and emphasizing gentle pathways to hope and healing during such a heartbreaking time.

A woman with a pained expression rests her head in her hands, conveying deep emotional distress capturing the profound emotions associated with loss and healing, Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent's Guide, My Forever Son
A woman reflecting on her grief, capturing the profound emotions associated with loss and healing, Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide, My Forever Son

Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide

Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide offers a gentle and understanding perspective on the complex emotions that emerge after the devastating loss of a loved one through suicide, particularly from the vantage point of parents.This guide thoughtfully addresses the overwhelming and often contradictory feelings of grief, guilt, and sorrow that can envelop parents navigating such profound heartache.

A close-up of a blooming orange rose, surrounded by green leaves, with water droplets on the petals, symbolizing love and remembrance, Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents, My Forever Son
A delicate orange rose embodying beauty and resilience, symbolizing love and remembrance, Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents, My Forever Son

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents gently supports parents navigating the profound sorrow of losing a child to suicide. This heartfelt article acknowledges the intense grief that such a tragedy brings and offers compassionate guidance on finding a way forward. The healing strategies shared emphasize self-care and the importance of seeking professional help, while inviting parents to connect with others who understand their pain.

Close-up of coral pink flowers with delicate petals and green leaves, showcasing nature's beauty, symbolizing love and remembrance, Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss, My Forever Son
A vibrant display of peach-colored flowers, symbolizing love and remembrance, Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss, My Forever Son

Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss

I have shared my grief journey on this blog, My Forever Son, reflecting on those painful early years and sharing glimmers of hope along the way. Through sleepless nights and tears, I found that my deep love for my son sustains me through his absence.

Carrying both ache and love after losing my son to suicide has been the crux of my grief journey these past 12 years. I share insights into healing from deep grief in the article, Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss, where ache for his absence and love for my son walk together in my heart. Holding hands, one is never without the other, but ache and love have carried me—and carry me still. 

Scenic view of a river flowing through a forested area with mountains in the background, under a clear blue sky, symbolizing peace and reflection in the journey of grief, When Love Isn't Enough:
A serene landscape featuring a calm river surrounded by lush green trees and majestic mountains, symbolizing peace and reflection in the journey of grief, When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” My Forever Son

When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”

When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,”explores the complexities of suicide and includes a compassionate treatise written by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” challenging the notion that it is a choice. The treatise, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” emphasizes the inevitability of death, regardless of the cause, and the limitations of love in preventing it. The author of the treatise “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand” and this article, “When Love Isn’t Enough,” Beth Brown shares her personal journey of grief after losing her son to suicide, finding solace in writing and nature photography.

Meet Dylan, My Forever Son

A young man with long hair, wearing a black 'Ibanez' graphic t-shirt, sitting on a staircase and smiling, My Forever Son, Twenty Years of Love: Dylan
A joyful moment captured of Dylan, radiating happiness while seated outdoors, My Forever Son, Twenty Years of Love: Dylan

Twenty Years of Love: Dylan

“Twenty Years of Love: Dylan” offers a poignant exploration of grief and loss, weaving together cherished memories and reflections on Dylan’s life. The emotional resonance of this piece is deeply felt, beautifully portraying both the love and sorrow that the author carries in their heart. The thoughtful inclusion of links to further readings about Dylan and resources for support is a compassionate touch that adds immense value to those who may be navigating similar journeys.

A pathway lined with greenery and scattered fallen leaves, creating a tranquil and reflective atmosphere, symbolizing the journey of grief and remembrance, Walking through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide, My Forever Son
A serene pathway lined with fallen leaves, symbolizing the journey of grief and remembrance, Walking through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide, My Forever Son

Walking Through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide

Walking through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide offers a deeply moving and heartfelt narrative that illuminates the unimaginable pain of losing a child to suicide. The personal stories shared create a sincere and unfiltered glimpse into the heavy journey of grief and the gradual path toward healing. Through poignant reflections and a poetic exploration on grief, the author navigates the chaotic emotions that accompany such a catastrophic event, revealing both the struggles and the moments of unexpected solace that can emerge even in the darkest times.

A close-up image of a lion statue sitting on a stone surface, surrounded by red fallen leaves, symbolizing strength and remembrance in the context of cherished memories, I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son
A serene lion statue surrounded by fallen leaves, symbolizing strength and remembrance in the context of cherished memories, My Forever Son, I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son

I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son

I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son lovingly encapsulates the profound heartache and cherished memories tied to the author’s beloved son, Dylan. Through heartfelt imagery and poignant personal stories, it invites readers to share in an emotional journey that resonates deeply, fostering a compassionate understanding of loss and love.

Vibrant deep-red autumn leaves showcasing shades of red and green, symbolizing the beauty of change and memory, My Forever Son
Vibrant autumn leaves showcasing shades of red and green, symbolizing the beauty of change and memory, My Forever Son, I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide

I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide

I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide is a heartfelt collection of personal reflections and cherished memories that navigates the profound journey of grief and hope following the heartbreaking loss of a son to suicide. The rawness of the emotions is deeply felt, drawing readers into a shared space of empathy. Through vivid descriptions and nostalgic elements, the work evokes a sense of connection and understanding, while the stunning images inspire hope and healing amidst the sorrow.

A black and white photo of a woman, a mother, sitting on the floor, tenderly holding and smiling at a young child dressed in striped overalls. A birthday cake with a candle sits in front of them, decorated with the name 'Dylan', My Forever Son, Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered
A tender moment between a mother and her joyful child, celebrating cherished memories of Dylan’s early years, My Forever Son, Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts

Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts

Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts invites readers into the heart/h-wrenching yet beautifully profound journey of a mother’s grief after the devastating loss of her beloved 20-year-old son, Dylan, who tragically died by suicide. Through a heartfelt collection of original poems and personal reflections, she courageously shares the painful complexities of her sorrow, the small moments of hope that emerged, and her ongoing path toward healing.

Heartfelt Stories and Poems of Love and Loss

A single red rose resting on a bed of white flowers, symbolizing love and remembrance, symbolizing love and remembrance, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide
A vibrant red rose resting on delicate white flowers of Baby’s Breath, symbolizing love and remembrance, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide

“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide

“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide delves into the deep, heart-wrenching sorrow of losing a child to suicide. This poignant piece not only articulates the immense pain of such a loss but also provides vital resources to navigate the challenging journey of grief. With tender personal reflections and thoughtful coping strategies, the post and poem, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” serves as a compassionate companion for those who are enduring similar heartaches. 

A family gathering at a beautifully set table, featuring candles and a vase of pink roses, reflecting moments of love, loss, and healing, My Forever Son, A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table

A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table

A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table chronicles a family’s journey through the loss of their beloved son, Dylan. This tragedy alters their connections, turning a joyful gathering space into one of reflection. The narrative captures the struggle between despair and acceptance, underscoring love’s enduring power amidst heartache. In honoring Dylan’s memory, they find unexpected joy in their grief, illustrating the resilience of the human spirit in the face of loss.

A close-up of a golden puppy with soft fur and expressive eyes, sitting on a bed of pine needles, wearing a blue collar and leash, Grandparents' Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide
A fluffy puppy sitting outdoors, embodying innocence and companionship, My Forever Son, Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide

Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide

Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide gently delves into the profound and heart-wrenching sorrow experienced by grandparents who endure the unimaginable loss of their grandchild. This painful journey envelops them in a dual mourning, as they grieve not only the precious life that is gone but also the shattered dreams and cherished memories that will sorrowfully remain unrealized for their own child, the grieving parent.

A mother sitting beside her son in a hospital bed, expressing concern and sadness as he sleeps, and embodying the pain and hope intertwined with the journey of healing and survival, My Forever Son
A mother watches over her son in a hospital bed, embodying the pain and hope intertwined with the journey of healing and survival, My Forever Son, Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy

Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy

Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy beautifully captures the deep sorrow and unwavering love a mother feels for her son. The author bravely shares her heartfelt journey, navigating the immense pain and heartbreak tied to her son’s fourth suicide attempt on Memorial Day. Through her poignant narrative, she reveals the complex layers of a mother’s grief, intricately woven with fleeting moments of hope that resonate powerfully with anyone who is facing loss.

Close-up of a soft white peony flower with delicate pink accents, symbolizing beauty and remembrance, My Forever Son, “Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay" A Poem on Suicide Loss
A close-up of a delicate white flower with soft pink accents, symbolizing beauty and remembrance, My Forever Son, “Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay” A Poem on Suicide Loss

“Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay”: A Poem on Suicide Loss

“Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay” A Poem on Suicide Loss explores the profound sorrow a parent endures after losing a child to suicide. It addresses themes of grief and guilt, highlighting the heavy shadow such a tragedy casts on life. This poignant narrative captures a parent’s transformative journey in the wake of their child’s absence, revealing emotions of shame while confronting societal stigma surrounding suicide. With compassion and insight, the poem resonates with anyone who has faced similar heart-wrenching experiences.

A vibrant yellow rose symbolizing love and remembrance, My Forever Son, 11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe
A vibrant yellow rose symbolizing love and remembrance, My Forever Son, 11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe

11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe

11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe powerfully conveys the depths of my unyielding grief and a relentless yearning for my beloved son, Dylan, whose vibrant spirit was tragically stolen by suicide eleven heart-wrenching years ago at merely twenty. As my only child, his absence has carved an immense void in my soul, reshaping every facet of my life while perpetually stirring the cherished memories of the beautiful moments we once savored together.

A close-up of a vibrant red rose surrounded by green leaves, set against a textured gray wall, symbolizing hope and renewal, My Forever Son, Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
A vibrant red rose blooms amidst lush green leaves, symbolizing hope and renewal in the journey of healing, My Forever Son, Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

“Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing”

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems and reflections by Beth Brown, the compassionate voice behind the My Forever Son blog. This poignant work navigates the deep, overwhelming sorrow that accompanies the tragic loss of a child to suicide. In her writing, Brown bravely shares her personal journey through grief, revealing how the act of writing poetry and connecting with the beauty of nature became vital sources of comfort and healing for her in the midst of such profound pain.

Through the author’s heartfelt verses, she reaches out with warmth and understanding to those who are journeying through their own sorrows. With her enchanting photography of the trees, shrubs, and flowers that grace her gardens throughout the seasons, Brown lovingly shares a beacon of hope, brightly illuminating the shadows cast by grief.

On Finding Hope: Photographing My Gardens Brings Healing

In nature, I find calm in the wake of profound sorrow and healing in the cycling of the seasons. Predictable. Beautiful in the spring, promising renewal after a long winter’s rest. Brilliant hues in the summer months. Autumn bringing trees and shrubs bejeweled in vivid reds, oranges, and reds. And then the stillness and monochromatic sketch of what can be a too long winter’s sleep.

Winter Wonderland: Captivating Photos in My Gardens

Snow covered branches of a saucer cup Magnolia in winter, My Forever Son, Suicide: It Never Lets Go
A stark image of a magnolia tree in winter, framed by an ever-green Norway Spruce in the background, all against a blue sky with dark clouds above tinged with light that seems surreal, My Forever Son, A Poem About Being Haunted by Guilt After Losing My Son to Suicide: Still From Sky I'm Falling
Snow-covered branches of a magnolia tree in winter framed by brick wall and snow in the background, My Forever Son, c
A small bird, a junco with a gray topside and a white underside, in a triangle of sunlight across a snow-covered pond, photographed for My Forever Son, An Abrupt Awakening: Foray Into the Holidays 2015 and The Holidays Descend Suicide Never Ends
Glistening Snow reflecting sun's prisms in tree shadows in winter, rose bush with brown leaves of winter in foreground, my forever son, The holidays descend: suicide never ends and Reflections on Grief in Year 6 After Losing My Son to Suicide
Winter Magnolia Tree Shadow in Snow with Brick Wall, My Forever Son, Suicide: It Never Lets Go and The Holidays Descend Suicide Never Ends, Suicide: It Never Lets Go
Winter snow looking out over a low brick wall through a bare tree into the glare of the sun, photographed for My Forever Son, An Abrupt Awakening, Foray into the Holidays and He Left Too Soon, Also A Mother's Reflections after Losing My Son to Suicide
Snow-covered brick wall with intricate woven brick work pattern in late afternoon winter, My Forever Son, Journals from the Heart
Winter Sun in Blue Sky with a Few Wispy White Clouds Shining through Bare Trees, My Forever Son, The Holidays Descend: Suicide Never Ends
A red-bellied woodpecker at a bird-feeder in winter with snow on ground, My Forever Son, A Poem About Being Haunted by Guilt After Losing My Son to Suicide: Still From Sky I'm Falling

A Long Winter’s Rest for Trees, Shrubs, and Flowers

This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken.

This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken. An empty landscape. Gray skies for months. A blanket of snow in white, though only the stark limbs of trees and shrubs. At times, though, red berries appear on some shrubs, supplying food for birds and wildlife. All this to say I can’t see life against this wintry scene.

But in photographing nature through the seasons, I began to see (again), the brilliance of a long winter’s rest for trees, shrubs, and flowers. To study nature and botany is to realize that what appears lifeless is actually the process of life within all of nature renewing itself. Trusting in what I cannot see brings hope and healing.

Spring Brings Hope: Photographs of My Gardens

Yellow center white petals daffodil cluster in early spring framed by brick wall in background, My Forever Son, Navigating Grief: 5 Years After Losing My Son and Finding Hope, Healing and Resilience in Nature
Creamy White and Yellow Daffodils in Early Spring
Purple Crocus on Slender Green and White Striped Stalks Getting Ready to Open in Early Spring, My Forever Son, How to Survive the First Year After Losing Your Child to Suicide
Pink Raspberry Azalea in Spring Bloom, My Forever Son, Healing Through Poetry: Grieving a Child's Loss
Tender pink blossoms of a pink crabapple tree in early spring, My Forever Son, About My Forever Son: A Journey Through Grief
Purple Phlox in Spring Leading to Water Pond with Cascading Waterfall Rocks, and pink spring flowers, My Forever Son, Navigating the Ever-changing Landscape of Grief: Reflecting on Year Nine
Beautiful Pink and white striped phlox surround a water pond with 2 waterfalls in early spring, My Forever Son, Coping with Grief: Strategies for Memorial Dates
Pink Phlox in Bloom Close Up, Photographed for My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide, Living Backwards Going Forward
Lavender Phlox in Spring, My Forever Son,
Robin in Early Spring Coldsnap
Peach flowering quince blossoms in full bloom in spring, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide

Spring Brings Beauty and Hope

Even against the cold remnants of a long winter–scattered clumps of snow, a robin redbreast plumped out to keep itself warm against a late March frost, brown dried leaves with nary a sign of color anywhere, spring breaks through. At first just small bits of color. A hint of purple as crocus push through thawing ground, then the vivid yellows of daffodils leaning towards the sun and the suddenness of blue bells. Rhododendron yawns and stretches its lavender limbs to awaken azalea, still sleepy with snow though greening beneath it all.

What seems forever gone in the gray doldrums of winter arrives with an abundance of joy come spring.

Writing My Way Through Grief to Find Hope and Healing

Snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections

Three years into my grief, I began writing journal entries. Short. A few feelings. About my day and where I was in my grief journey. Then slowly, snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections. Words shaped the deep feelings and emotional longing in my heart, and as I continued writing, I began to find small glimpses of hope in unexpected ways.

Photographing my gardens garnered a way to coalesce all the many feelings and words I’d been unable to express. And the more I photographed through the seasons, the more glimmers of hope I found along the way.

Each poignant poem in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a dedicated blog post in its own right, replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

The poems included in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing appear below. Each poem is a blog post in its own right, oftentimes replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

Each poem moves the reader through the profound emotions of grief and healing after losing a child.

Many of the poems tell narratives I remember from my son’s childhood. This is significant–reconstructing the narrative of our lives during his growing-up years brings release for all the love and beautiful memories before the trauma of losing him. Writing these poems and narratives, these poetic reflections on love and loss, have helped me learn to carry love and ache together.

Still I write. Still I heal. Still I miss my son.

From Shattered Hearts to Quiet Hope: Poems and Reflections for Parents of Suicide Loss

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

If you are reading this, you know the unique and overwhelming grief of losing a child to suicide. This collection is for you—a place to find words and images that honor your pain, offer comfort, and gently invite hope.

Curated by Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide, these poems and reflections move through the rawness of early trauma, the depths of acute grief, and the slow journey toward healing, even thirteen years later. Each post pairs heartfelt writing with stunning garden photography, inspired by Beth’s own search for solace in nature’s resilience.

Hope can be quiet—listen for it in moments of rest.

You are invited to explore at your own pace. Choose what resonates—whether it’s a poem that mirrors your sorrow, a reflection that offers comfort, or an image that whispers hope. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

Contemplation Prompt:
Pause with a garden image. What does it say to you about survival, growth, or hope?

About the Author, Beth Brown: Writing My Way Through Grief

The love you shared endures beyond loss.

This collection is lovingly curated by Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. Over thirteen years, Beth’s journey through the depths of grief has been shaped by poetry, reflection, and the healing presence of her gardens. Through My Forever Son, she shares how nature’s resilience and beauty offer moments of solace and hope, even in the face of unimaginable loss.

Explore These Poems and Reflections at Your Own Pace

You are invited to explore these poems and reflections at your own pace. Each post pairs heartfelt words with stunning garden photography, offering comfort, understanding, and gentle encouragement for wherever you are in your grief. Select what speaks to you—let these pages be a companion on your path toward healing. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

Journaling Prompt:
What memories of your child bring both tears and warmth? Write a few lines, letting your heart speak freely.

You are not alone. Healing is a journey, and hope can bloom—even here.

Message of Hope:
Even in the darkest seasons, a single flower can remind us that beauty and life persist. Let these poems be gentle companions as you move through your grief.

FIND HOPE HERE: POEMS AND POETIC REFLECTIONS ON GRIEF AND HEALING

Poems about Losing a Child to Suicide

Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message

Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message Summary Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message explores the profound grief and regret of losing a child to suicide through the poem, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon,” by author Beth Brown. Through vivid imagery and heartfelt repetition, the poem captures the enduring love…

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Poems

When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’

When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ Summary When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ unravels the profound complexities surrounding suicide, featuring an impactful poem and a heartfelt treatise by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand.” This poignant article and poetic reflection encourage readers…

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Healing Grief

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience Summary The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience explores the author’s journey of grief through the metaphor of a Magnolia tree’s cyclical seasons. The author uses photography to illustrate the parallels between nature’s cycles and the seasons of grief, finding hope and healing in…

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For Parents

Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing

Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing Key Takeaways Summary Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing shares author Beth Brown’s journey of grief and healing after losing her son, Dylan, to suicide. Through poetry and nature photography, she finds solace and a way to express her overwhelming emotions after suicide loss.…

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poems of love and loss

“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope

“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope Summary “Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope addresses grieving parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child to suicide. It underscores the profound importance of honoring their child’s memory through meaningful rituals, sharing heartfelt stories, and engaging in advocacy events that…

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Dramatic dark storm clouds looming in the sky, with a glimpse of lighter clouds and a landscape below featuring trees and power lines, evoking the emotional turmoil reflecting the chaos of grief, My Forever Son, Derecho:A Storm Out of Nowhere--Grief Poem "He Left Too Soon"
Dramatic cloud formations evoke the emotional turmoil reflecting the chaos of grief, My Forever Son, Derecho:A Storm Out of Nowhere–Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon”

Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere–Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon”

Derecho:A Storm Out of Nowhere–Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon”is a profoundly moving poem, woven together with the touching narrative that inspired it, expressing the indescribable sorrow of losing my cherished son to suicide amidst an unexpected storm named Derecho. The experience of losing a child to suicide feels akin to being caught in a sudden tempest; it was both a metaphor and a reality, as a storm raged on the very day of my son’s funeral, intertwining my overwhelming grief with nature’s turmoil. The fierce winds mirrored my internal anguish, encapsulating a deep heartache that seemed unbearably heavy.

A scenic image showcasing a vibrant autumn landscape with a mix of yellow and green trees under a cloudy blue sky, symbolizing acceptance and release in grief, "If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)": Reflections on Love and Loss, My Forever Son
A serene autumn landscape featuring vibrant yellow trees and fluffy white clouds against a blue sky, symbolizing acceptance and release in grief, “If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)” Poem: Reflections on Love and Loss, My Forever Son

“If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)” Poem: Reflections on Love and Loss

  • “If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)” Poem: Reflections on Love and Loss is a poem that depicts a profoundly personal and emotional journey of losing a child to suicide, capturing the deep scars of grief with heartfelt words and meaningful metaphors. This poignant piece resonates with anyone who has faced the unbearable weight of such heartache, offering solace in the shared experience of loss and illuminating the enduring love that remains even in the midst of sorrow.
Close-up of a white peony flower with delicate petals featuring hints of pink, "Shaped by Love--And This Grief Come to Stay": A Poem on Suicide Loss, My Forever Son
A close-up of a peony flower, showcasing delicate white petals with hints of pink, “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” : A Poem on Suicide Loss, My Forever Son

“Shaped by Love–and This Grief Come to Stay”: A Poem on Suicide Loss

“Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” A Poem on Suicide Loss by author Beth Brown explores the profound connection between love and grief following the loss of her son to suicide. The poem emphasizes the author’s refusal to change her narrative of grief, asserting her right to feel deeply and affirming that her love and grief are inseparable. Through vivid imagery and personal reflections, “the poem “Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay” captures the complex emotions and transformations that arise from such profound loss.

A close-up of a light pink rose with several buds and green leaves, showcasing delicate petals and a clear view of its center, symbolizing love and remembrance amidst themes of grief, My Forever So, Bury My Heart: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss
A beautiful pink rose in bloom, symbolizing love and remembrance amidst themes of grief, My Forever Son, Bury My Heart: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss

Bury My Heart: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss

Bury My Heart: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss is a profoundly touching and empathetic poem that captures the deep sorrow and anguish that come with losing a child. The verses intertwine the themes of grief, hope, and healing, offering comfort to those enduring this unimaginable heartache. The author’s personal journey unfolds in a way that gently provides insights and support to others facing similar pain. Through the evocative power of poetry and personal stories, it creates a heartfelt and relatable depiction of the experience, reminding us that we are never alone in our struggles.

Close-up of various autumn leaves in shades of red and pink scattered on the ground, symbolizing the change of seasons and the beauty of nature's transitions, Haunted by Guilt in Grief: "Still from Sky I'm Falling"
Close-up of vibrant red and pink leaves scattered on the ground, symbolizing the change of seasons and the beauty of nature’s transitions, Haunted by Guilt in Grief: “Still from Sky I’m Falling”

Haunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling”

Haunted by Guilt in Grief: “Still from Sky I’m Falling” offers a personal exploration of grief, guilt, and regret after losing a child to suicide, a tragedy felt by many parents and caregivers. This collection includes the featured poem and other works that explore loss and healing, providing insights into the mourning process. It also offers valuable resources for support, guiding readers through dark moments while fostering community. The poem, “Still from Sky I’m Falling,” anchors the collection, reflecting the emotions that arise during such times and inviting readers to connect with their own grief experiences.

A ship precariously navigating through turbulent, dark ocean waves, symbolizing a stormy emotional landscape and the overwhelming sorrow and heartache of loss, capturing the essence of grief capturing the essence of grief explored in Exploring "Beat Still My Heart" Poem: A Grief Elegy, My Forever Son
A shipwreck amidst tumultuous waves, symbolizing the overwhelming sorrow and heartache of loss, capturing the essence of grief explored in Exploring “Beat Still My Heart” Poem: A Grief Elegy, My Forever Son

Exploring “Beat Still My Heart” Poem: A Grief Elegy

  • Exploring “Beat Still My Heart” Poem: A Grief Elegy delves into the intense emotional journey of losing a child to suicide, providing a heartfelt reflection through poetry and storytelling. This poignant exploration captures the profound sorrow and despair that such a loss brings, weaving together personal experiences with universal themes of love, loss, and remembrance. Set in a catastrophic storm, The Emotional Depth of “Beat Still My Heart:” A Powerful Elegy uses shipwreck imagery to convey the profound grief of losing a child to suicide.
A bright, full moon illuminates the night sky, partially obscured by dark tree branches in the foreground, symbolizing the enduring love and heartache of losing a child to suicide, My Forever Son, Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon: A Poem About Losing a Child to Suicide
A glowing moon surrounded by a night sky, symbolizing the enduring love and heartache of losing a child to suicide, My Forever Son, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”: A Heartfelt Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide

“Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”: A Heartfelt Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide

  • Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon: A Heartfelt Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide captures the profound sorrow of losing a child to suicide. Through the author’s personal experience, the poem resonates with shared grief, offering solace to those who have faced similar journeys. It beautifully expresses regret with the line “If I had only known,” and concludes with a tender image of joyous reunion.

Healing Words: Download 3 Compassionate Poems for Coping with the Loss of a Child

A vibrant pink water lily surrounded by green lily pads, reflecting in calm water, symbolizing peace and healing, My Forever Son
A beautiful pink water lily floating serenely on a calm pond surrounded by green lily pads, My Forever Son

Key Resources for Understanding Suicide

Compassionate Guidance for Navigating Loss

These key resources for understanding suicide and coping with grief provide compassionate guidance for readers as they navigate the challenging landscape of loss. In particular, the “Rain Comes to Heal Us All” Poem: Finding Hope After Loss, offers solace and a new perspective. The journey of coping often means confronting feelings of stigma, guilt, and isolation, intermixed with a complex array of emotions, ranging from anger to relief.

Research compassionately underscores that suicide is not a conscious choice, emphasizing the importance of a non-judgmental approach to emotional healing. Engaging with support groups and educational materials can be a source of empowerment for survivors, nurturing community connections and facilitating a path toward healing and hope.

Included are the author’s personal story of losing her child, resources for emotional support, professional insights on suicide’s complexities, discussions on the duration of grief, and a selection of helpful resources for bereaved parents.

A stack of books related to grief and suicide, featuring titles like 'The Worst Loss' and 'Suicide: Survivors'. A coffee mug is partially visible in the foreground, with green plants in the background, Support for Parents Grieving a Child’s Suicide, My Forever Son
A selection of supportive literature addressing the grief and healing process for parents after losing a child to suicide, Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents My Forever Son

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents is a comprehensive resource for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. The book offers a curated list of books, including practical guides, narratives, poetry, and novels, providing support and understanding for those navigating grief. The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal journey of loss and healing, emphasizing the importance of support groups and educational materials in the grieving process.

Close-up of a yellow orchid flower next to a rain-covered window, with a view of a wet landscape outside, symbolizing growth and reflection amidst sorrow, Understanding Suicide: It's Not a Choice, My Forever Son
A serene view from a window featuring a blooming orchid and a rainy landscape outside, symbolizing growth and reflection amidst sorrow, Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice, My Forever Son

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice presents a heartfelt exploration of the complex and deeply emotional subject of suicide. The piece invites readers to reflect on the harrowing question of whether suicide can truly be seen as a choice. Insights from Dr. John Ackerman, a prominent suicide epidemiologist at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, shed light on this critical issue.

Dr. Ackerman emphasizes the often-overlooked factors that contribute to suicidal thoughts, stating, “We often underestimate the multitude of factors that impact such a complex and irreversible outcome as suicide. Individuals grappling with the profound emotional turmoil that gives rise to suicidal thoughts typically do not wish to end their lives; they are, instead, yearning for relief from the immense pain often exacerbated by the absence of supportive resources and understanding.”

This poignant examination not only raises awareness but also fosters empathy and understanding, making it a must-read for anyone seeking to support loved ones in need.

Close-up of a vibrant yellow flower with intricate petals and green foliage in the background, symbolizing hope and healing in the context of grief and loss, Healing After Suicide Loss: Essential Resources and Support, My Forever Son
A vibrant yellow flower surrounded by green leaves, symbolizing hope and healing in the context of grief and loss, Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents, My Forever Son

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents offers a comprehensive list of resources and support for individuals grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. It includes personal insights, professional perspectives, and a curated selection of books and support groups. The author, Beth Brown, shares her own experience of losing her son to suicide and emphasizes the importance of seeking help and understanding.

Close-up of red and green leaves, showcasing the vibrant autumn colors in nature.
A vivid display of red leaves intertwined with green foliage, symbolizing the journey of grief and healing, Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End?, My Forever Son

Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End?

Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End? offers a compassionate look at and attempts to response to one of the most profound challenges of longterm grief after suicide loss: Does the pain of losing a child to suicide is profound and never fully goes away, but it does change and become a part of one’s life. Finding support through counseling, support groups, and connecting with others who have experienced similar losses is crucial for healing. Grief is a journey with seasons that come and go, and it is possible to learn to live with the pain while honoring the love for the lost child.

To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to be here and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain does change, it softens. You will want to live again and be able to enjoy life again. It will never be like before but the crushing, all consuming pain you feel right now will soften. You will be able to live with it. It just becomes part of you.

A parent who lost their child to suicide

Close-up of autumn leaves with vibrant orange, yellow, and green colors, showcasing the natural beauty of seasonal change, symbolizing the seasonal shift and the beauty of change, Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched”, My Forever Son
A close-up of vibrant autumn leaves showcasing a blend of orange, yellow, and red hues, symbolizing the seasonal shift and the beauty of change, Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched”, My Forever Son

Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched”

Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched” features Ronald Rolheiser’s writings on suicide which offer a compassionate and spiritual perspective, emphasizing that suicide is often a tragic consequence of mental illness, not a voluntary act. He encourages loved ones to release guilt and second-guessing, understanding that they are not responsible for the person’s death. Rolheiser also highlights the importance of remembering the deceased’s life beyond their suicide, trusting in God’s infinite love and understanding.

A young person with long hair, wearing a denim jacket over a red shirt, looking pensively towards the ground, with a blurred background of trees and buildings, Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters, My Forever Son
A young person reflecting in a somber environment, embodying the emotional complexities of grief and understanding related to suicide, Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters

Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters

Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters explores the pain and grief surrounding suicide, emphasizing that it is not a conscious choice but a desperate attempt to escape unbearable suffering. The article highlights current research, personal stories, and compassionate support for those struggling with depression and mental health, aiming to break the stigma surrounding suicide. It provides resources and insights into the complexities of grief and the journey towards healing.

A contemplative young woman with long hair, resting her chin on her hands, illuminated by soft light and shadows, reflecting the complexities of grief and loss discussed in the article on coping with a child's suicide, The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief, My Forever Son
A contemplative young woman expresses deep emotions, reflecting the complexities of grief and loss discussed in the article on coping with a child’s suicide, The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief, My Forever Son

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief, recounts the author’s harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Her story highlights her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing. The blog “My Forever Son” came about as a way for the author to work through this devastating grief that follows the loss of a child to suicide. My Forever Son blog serves as a platform for sharing experiences and finding healing and solace in community.

Navigating Grief: Strategies for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide

These resources for navigating grief offer helpful coping strategies and tips for suicide loss of a child. Practical advice and grief tips can help parents move through grief and healing.

Close-up of white daffodils with yellow centers, surrounded by green foliage, symbolizing resilience and hope, reflecting the journey of healing after profound loss, My Forever Son, 15 Essential Grief Tips for Parents After a Child’s Suicide
Beautiful purple wildflowers symbolizing resilience and hope, reflecting the journey of healing after profound loss, My Forever Son, 15 Essential Grief Tips for Parents After a Child’s Suicide

15 Essential Grief Tips for Parents After a Child’s Suicide

15 Essential Grief Tips for Parents After a Child’s Suicide includes valuable tips and insights for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide, offering practical advice on seeking help, connecting with others, and finding ways to cope with grief. The personal experiences and suggestions offer meaningful support for parents dealing with this devastating loss. A comprehensive guide for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide, this post offers support and resources to help parents who lose a child to suicide navigate this difficult journey. Remember, you are not alone. There is a community of parents who are ready to listen, understand, and support you through this painful chapter of your life.

A close-up of a vibrant pink flower with pointed petals and green leaves in the background, symbolizing hope and renewal in times of grief, My Forever Son, Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources
A vibrant pink flower among green foliage, symbolizing hope and renewal in times of grief, My Forever Son, Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources

Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources

Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources s a compassionate guide designed to support parents who are heartbroken from the loss of a child to suicide. This resource delves into the multifaceted emotions that accompany such profound grief, highlighting the crucial need for self-care, the value of seeking professional help, and the comfort of connecting with support groups. It offers coping strategies and thoughtful grief tips, such as engaging in creative pursuits, finding peace in nature, and honoring your child’s memory through meaningful memorials.

Close-up of a vibrant orange rose in bloom, surrounded by green leaves, symbolizing resilience and hope amidst grief, Finding Solace After Losing a Child to Suicide: “Build a Life of Love Around the Loss”My Forever Son
A beautiful orange rose in full bloom, symbolizing resilience and hope amidst grief, Finding Solace After Losing a Child to Suicide: “Build a Life of Love Around the Loss”My Forever Son

Finding Solace After Losing a Child to Suicide: “Build a Life of Love Around the Loss”

Finding Solace After Losing a Child to Suicide: “Build a Life of Love Around the Loss”explores the emotional turmoil of grief and offers guidance for healing. Through personal narratives and expert insights, the article emphasizes that parents are not alone in their pain and provides 16 practical tips for continuing the bonds with the lost child. It highlights the importance of coping strategies, honoring deceased loved ones, and navigating the complexities of grief.

A cozy living room scene with a red coffee cup on a white saucer, a small vase of flowers, and a stack of notebooks on a wooden table, with soft lighting from nearby windows, reflective moments in the journey of grief, My Forever Son, Support for Parents Grieving a Child’s Suicide: Guidance, Resources, and Healing
A comforting scene featuring a cup of tea and fresh flowers, representing solace and reflective moments in the journey of grief, My Forever Son,Support for Parents Grieving a Child’s Suicide: Guidance, Resources, and Healing

Support for Parents Grieving a Child’s Suicide: Guidance, Resources, and Healing

Support for Parents Grieving a Child’s Suicide: Guidance, Resources, and Healing is a guide offering support and resources for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. It emphasizes seeking professional help, joining support groups, and practicing self-care. The guide includes book recommendations, support organizations, and a glossary of terms to aid in understanding and navigating grief. Compassionate support is available to help you with your journey.

a stack of books about grief, hope, and healing after suicide loss, My Forever Son, Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents
Books for Grief, Hope, and Healing After Suicide Loss, My Forever Son, Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents is a comprehensive resource for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. The book offers a curated list of books, including practical guides, narratives, poetry, and novels, providing support and understanding for those navigating grief. The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal journey of loss and healing, emphasizing the importance of support groups and educational materials in the grieving process.

Grief Support Resources

Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress

After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.

Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.

Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.

HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.

Resources and Support Groups

Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
http://www.pos-ffos.com
This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.

Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
https://www.taps.org/suicide
This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.

United Survivors
https://unitesurvivors.org/
This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.

Professional Organizations

American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.

The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.

Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.

LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.

Online resources

Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.

Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.

Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.

SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.

Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.

Finding professional care and support

Find a mental health provider

Find a provider for prolonged grief

Find additional resources for marginalized communities

Crisis Services

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.

Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.

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Blooming pink azalea flowers representing love and remembrance, My Forever Son, Embracing Grief: A Poetic Journey of Love

Embracing Grief: A Poetic Journey of Love

Have you ever considered how your story might connect with others? We encourage you to share how you have embraced your grief and how it reflects the deep love you have for your child. Your experience can powerfully show how love and loss are connected, inspiring others on their journeys.

  • Reflect on your experiences: How have you embraced your grief? How does your grief reflect the deep love you have for your child?

Sharing your story can be a meaningful step in your healing journey. Reach out, and let’s transform your grief into a narrative that inspires and uplifts.

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Home » Finding Beauty in Loss: Poetic Reflections » Finding Solace in Music After Loss

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By Beth Brown

Musician. Writer. Literary Connoisseur. Always writing, scribbling poetry, turning feelings into words. "Break my heart even further" can't ever be done, for I lost my heart the night I lost my son. Come find me writing at My Forever Son: Grief, Hope, and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide.

At the whim of Most Beloved Cat, I write as she tattles on the garden cats. Find Most Beloved Cat sharing her stories at Gardens at Effingham: Where Cats Tell the Tales

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