
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on the Devastating Loss of a Child to Suicide
Key Takeaways
- The poem ‘”On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide conveys the deep grief of losing a child to suicide, reflecting on memories and pain associated with the author’s son, Dylan.
- Author Beth Brown offers personal reflections and coping strategies for dealing with loss, providing resources to help others navigate grief.
- The poem, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings,” juxtaposes childhood memories’ beauty with the heartbreaking reality of Dylan’s tragic end.
- The author’s emotional journey culminates in writing the poem, highlighting the conflict between joyful moments and overwhelming sorrow.
- Additional links to related poems and support resources offer connections for those facing similar experiences.
Summary
The poem “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” in the post, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide explores the profound grief of losing a child to suicide. The author, Beth Brown, reflects on the painful memories of her son Dylan’s life, his love for music, and the helplessness she felt in his final days. The poem “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” juxtaposes the beauty of Dylan’s childhood memories with the devastating reality of his tragic end.
Introduction
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide deeply explores the profound sorrow of losing a child to suicide, while also offering essential resources to help navigate the difficult journey of grief. With heartfelt personal reflections and practical coping strategies, this post serves as a compassionate guide for those facing similar heartache.
Additionally, the links to additional poems at Healing Grief: Poems for Parents After Child Loss and the many support resources provide meaningful connections to others who understand this pain. The author’s poignant description of her creative process behind the poem, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings,” further enriches the experience, inviting readers to find solace in their shared emotions.
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Crafting the Poem “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”
The Devastating Impact of Grief
It was a quiet Saturday afternoon, and I found myself sifting through files on my computer, the kind of mundane task that often offered a welcome distraction. But then, something caught my eye—a file labeled “Dylan’s Music.” Curiosity compelled me to click open the file, and in an instant, I was transported back to a time I had long since tried to escape.
As the list unfolded before me, I felt my heart sink; I was misty-eyed and paralyzed by the weight of what I saw. “Dylan’s Music” was the saddest compilation of song titles I’d ever encountered—a haunting reflection of my son’s inner turmoil as a teenager.
Each title seemed to echo his pain, with countless songs that directly spoke of suicide. Even the bands he idolized bore reminders of his struggles, their names marred by the very word that had torn our family apart.
I Couldn’t Save My Son
I sat there, overcome, feeling as if I were staring at what would have been my son’s final note—a chilling testament of his silent despair. This wasn’t merely a collection of music; it was a poignant timeline of his teenage years, a painful progression that led up to the moment when, at just 20 years old, Dylan died by suicide.
“Dylan’s Music,” songs meant to be a source of solace, stood as a heartbreaking reminder of the depression he struggled against, a mother’s anguish pouring out in every note.
“Avenged Sevenfold,” one of Dylan’s favorite bands, had lost one of their young bandmates to suicide. The group wrote about losing their drummer, and dedicated songs and an album to his loss. One of the songs Dylan most identified with included the lyrics:
Nothing lasts forever, for all good things it’s true,
I’d rather loose it all, while somehow saving you.
Avenged Sevenfold, the song “Victim,” from Nightmare, the fifth studio album released by the band in 2010
The song my son listened to appears on Avenged Sevenfold’s fifth studio album, Nightmare, which was released in 2010. The album was recorded after the death of their long-time drummer and creative force, James “The Rev” Sullivan, and the song is often interpreted as a heartfelt message to him, a lament about the loss of someone loved.
Teenage Angst and Depression Look the Same

The music Dylan listened to didn’t cause his depression
The music Dylan listened to didn’t cause his depression. Like his friends, Dylan listened to EMO (Greenway; My Chemical Romance; Lincoln Park, and so on), classic rock bands (AC/DC; Aerosmith; Led Zeppelin; Pink Floyd, and so on); metal and current rock (Avenged Sevenfold; Lincoln Park; Asking Alexandrea, and so on), alternative-rock bands (Weezer; 311; Nirvana; other grunge rock bands); Seether, Creed; Christian Rock (Hawk Nelson, Matt Redman, and so on); Snow Patrol–and on and on and on.
My son was, through and through, a musician and an artist.

Dylan loved playing guitar and piano, was in a band with his teenaged friends, and wrote and recorded his own music.
He was classically trained on piano; studied jazz for piano and alto saxophone; played drums in a Christian worship band; and played in high school marching band. My son was, through and through, a musician and an artist.

Remembering All the Beautiful Memories of His Childhood, Laced Forever with His Tragic Loss
The poem “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” emerged from the profound sorrow I felt upon discovering Dylan’s song list. Part of me longed to hold onto that list—after all, I have so few tangible reminders of my son. Yet, in a moment of painful clarity, I made the decision to delete it. Alone in the stillness, tears streaming down my face, I began to write.
I grappled with feelings of helplessness, the desperate sense that there was nothing I could have done: I couldn’t save my son.
I poured my heart out, reflecting on the exquisite moments of joy and laughter from Dylan’s childhood—those fleeting memories that filled my heart with warmth. But alongside those memories was an overwhelming ache, the gut-wrenching sorrow of losing him to suicide. I grappled with feelings of helplessness, the desperate sense that there was nothing I could have done: I couldn’t save my son.
It is this juxtaposition of beauty and despair, the radiant memories entwined with the chilling, horrific reality of his tragic end, that birthed the poem, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings.“
And so it is all this brokenness, the beautiful memories of his childhood laced with the traumatic, horrific details of his suicide, that became “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings,” a poem about the helplessness of being able to save my son.
Beth Brown, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings“ Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide, My Forever Son

My Forever Son explores the profound grief, hope, and healing that follow the tragedy of losing a child to suicide.
My Forever Son dovetails the author’s journey of descending into deep grief, searching for hope, and finding healing along the way.
Table of Contents

Poem: “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”
On Baby's Breath and Angel Wings
On baby's breath and angel wings,
You bring me love yet still,
In shades of blue where silver spoons
Shine moonbeams in your hair.
Oh lay me down to sleep tonight
In dreams where life goes on,
Where twirling, time and laughter gaze,
Adoringly in love.
Glitter falls from a sun that shines
Too bright in its own halo,
Where hallowed wings and angels sing
Dark comes at night to clothe.
In shadows hushed and moods downcast
Despair lives in the music you love,
Rhythms that cut and carve deep grooves
Trample hope and dreams from above.
Down, down, down you faster fall
Than I can spread my wings,
To catch you, hold you, love you back
To perch where you can sing.
© Beth Brown, 2024
"On Baby's Breath and Angel Wings"
Go here to read more poems about love and loss of a child to suicide: Healing Poems for Grieving Parents of Suicide Loss

Author’s Note: A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son
Twelve years ago, I lost my 20-year-old son, Dylan, to suicide, a heartbreaking event that shattered my world and plunged me into a dark period of grief.
During those long months, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and thoughts, questioning everything around me and struggling to make sense of what will never make sense. I entered into a deep grief filled with solitude and despair, a darkness so bleak I questioned ever being able to see light again.
In the beginning, I had no words. No voice. No ability to express the grief I was feeling.
My words were lost in torrents of tears, in stark contrast to the vibrant discussions I used to lead in my college composition and literature classes.
Perhaps it’s important to preface that I was teaching college composition and literature when I lost my son to suicide, a tragedy that shattered all of me. The irony of discussing the complexities of human emotion with my students while grappling with my own profound sorrow was not lost on me.
Each day, I faced the challenge of maintaining my professional facade, all the while battling an internal tempest that seemed insurmountable, wondering how to bridge the chasm between my role as an educator and the personal devastation I was enduring.

My Life Before Losing My Son
Books, lectures, teaching—I once felt empowered by my voice, a resonant tool for sharing ideas and knowledge. It was a time when I believed in the strength of my words and the influence they carried, inspiring others to think deeply and engage in meaningful conversations.
I reveled in the connections I forged through sharing my thoughts, feeling a sense of purpose in my contributions to the world. But when Dylan died by suicide, I felt consumed by my grief. My heart collapsed inward in sharp pain, I retreated from the outside world, and my words eluded me.
Teaching was impossible. Losing Dylan shattered my life, leaving me, on the outside at least, grappling with an overwhelming silence that echoed louder than any lecture or written page.
On the inside, I was screaming sounds I did not recognize as my own.
The Depth of My Loss Brought My Life to a Standstill
The vibrant energy that once fueled my passion for writing vanquished, and I found myself questioning everything without being able to lend voice to the confusion and overwhelming feelings I was moving through in my grief.
The depth of my loss silenced the joy I once derived from sharing my thoughts and connecting with others.
All of my life came to a standstill as I entered a place of deep grief. It is only in retrospect and in these twelve years past my son’s suicide that I see how all-consuming my grief was.
Diminishing the confidence that fuels expression, my grief stifled my voice completely. It’s been a difficult battle to reclaim my sense of self amidst such sorrow.
A Poetic Quest for Self-Forgiveness and Healing
Journaling was awkward. I couldn’t put all the pain I was feeling into words that did justice to the enormity of my heartbreak. But I kept writing. Slowly, in keeping a record of my grief, I realized I was creating a poetic journey about losing a child to suicide.

“Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing”
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems and reflections by Beth Brown, the compassionate voice behind the My Forever Son blog. This poignant work navigates the deep, overwhelming sorrow that accompanies the tragic loss of a child to suicide. In her writing, Brown bravely shares her personal journey through grief, revealing how the act of writing poetry and connecting with the beauty of nature became vital sources of comfort and healing for her in the midst of such profound pain.
Through the author’s heartfelt verses, she reaches out with warmth and understanding to those who are journeying through their own sorrows. With her enchanting photography of the trees, shrubs, and flowers that grace her gardens throughout the seasons, Brown lovingly shares a beacon of hope, brightly illuminating the shadows cast by grief.
On Finding Hope: Photographing My Gardens Brings Healing
In nature, I find calm in the wake of profound sorrow and healing in the cycling of the seasons. Predictable. Beautiful in the spring, promising renewal after a long winter’s rest. Brilliant hues in the summer months. Autumn bringing trees and shrubs bejeweled in vivid reds, oranges, and reds. And then the stillness and monochromatic sketch of what can be a too long winter’s sleep.
Winter Wonderland: Captivating Photos in My Gardens













A Long Winter’s Rest for Trees, Shrubs, and Flowers
This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken.
This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken. An empty landscape. Gray skies for months. A blanket of snow in white, though only the stark limbs of trees and shrubs. At times, though, red berries appear on some shrubs, supplying food for birds and wildlife. All this to say I can’t see life against this wintry scene.
But in photographing nature through the seasons, I began to see (again), the brilliance of a long winter’s rest for trees, shrubs, and flowers. To study nature and botany is to realize that what appears lifeless is actually the process of life within all of nature renewing itself. Trusting in what I cannot see brings hope and healing.
Spring Brings Hope: Photographs of My Gardens














Spring Brings Beauty and Hope
Even against the cold remnants of a long winter–scattered clumps of snow, a robin redbreast plumped out to keep itself warm against a late March frost, brown dried leaves with nary a sign of color anywhere, spring breaks through. At first just small bits of color. A hint of purple as crocus push through thawing ground, then the vivid yellows of daffodils leaning towards the sun and the suddenness of blue bells. Rhododendron yawns and stretches its lavender limbs to awaken azalea, still sleepy with snow though greening beneath it all.
What seems forever gone in the gray doldrums of winter arrives with an abundance of joy come spring.
Writing My Way Through Grief to Find Hope and Healing
Snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections
Three years into my grief, I began writing journal entries. Short. A few feelings. About my day and where I was in my grief journey. Then slowly, snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections. Words shaped the deep feelings and emotional longing in my heart, and as I continued writing, I began to find small glimpses of hope in unexpected ways.
Photographing my gardens garnered a way to coalesce all the many feelings and words I’d been unable to express. And the more I photographed through the seasons, the more glimmers of hope I found along the way.
Each poignant poem in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a dedicated blog post in its own right, replete with the inspiration behind the poem.
The poems included in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing appear below. Each poem is a blog post in its own right, oftentimes replete with the inspiration behind the poem.
Each poem moves the reader through the profound emotions of grief and healing after losing a child.
Many of the poems tell narratives I remember from my son’s childhood. This is significant–reconstructing the narrative of our lives during his growing-up years brings release for all the love and beautiful memories before the trauma of losing him. Writing these poems and narratives, these poetic reflections on love and loss, have helped me learn to carry love and ache together.
Still I write. Still I heal. Still I miss my son.
From Shattered Hearts to Quiet Hope: Poems and Reflections for Parents of Suicide Loss
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
If you are reading this, you know the unique and overwhelming grief of losing a child to suicide. This collection is for you—a place to find words and images that honor your pain, offer comfort, and gently invite hope.
Curated by Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide, these poems and reflections move through the rawness of early trauma, the depths of acute grief, and the slow journey toward healing, even thirteen years later. Each post pairs heartfelt writing with stunning garden photography, inspired by Beth’s own search for solace in nature’s resilience.
Hope can be quiet—listen for it in moments of rest.
You are invited to explore at your own pace. Choose what resonates—whether it’s a poem that mirrors your sorrow, a reflection that offers comfort, or an image that whispers hope. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.
Contemplation Prompt:
Pause with a garden image. What does it say to you about survival, growth, or hope?
About the Author, Beth Brown: Writing My Way Through Grief
The love you shared endures beyond loss.
This collection is lovingly curated by Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. Over thirteen years, Beth’s journey through the depths of grief has been shaped by poetry, reflection, and the healing presence of her gardens. Through My Forever Son, she shares how nature’s resilience and beauty offer moments of solace and hope, even in the face of unimaginable loss.
Explore These Poems and Reflections at Your Own Pace
You are invited to explore these poems and reflections at your own pace. Each post pairs heartfelt words with stunning garden photography, offering comfort, understanding, and gentle encouragement for wherever you are in your grief. Select what speaks to you—let these pages be a companion on your path toward healing. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.
Journaling Prompt:
What memories of your child bring both tears and warmth? Write a few lines, letting your heart speak freely.
You are not alone. Healing is a journey, and hope can bloom—even here.
Message of Hope:
Even in the darkest seasons, a single flower can remind us that beauty and life persist. Let these poems be gentle companions as you move through your grief.
FIND HOPE HERE: POEMS AND POETIC REFLECTIONS ON GRIEF AND HEALING
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide
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Read More“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”: Poem on Guilt in Grief
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From journaling to discovering the poetic language that encapsulates my grief, I penned my path to healing, culminating in the creation of my book, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide.
The anthology of poems in this book provides a profound and moving examination of grief, intricately intertwining original verses that delve into themes of loss, guilt, hope, self-forgiveness, and the path to healing. Expertly curated, the arrangement of poems invites deep reflection, serving as a treasured companion for those in search of solace and connection during difficult times.

Heartfelt Poems on Love, Grief, and Child Loss to Suicide
I write poems about love, loss, and the profound sorrow that follows the tragic experience of losing a child to suicide, as I sadly experienced with my only child, my 20-year-old son, Dylan. This unimaginable loss has left a deep void in my heart, one that words often struggle to convey. Each poem I craft serves as a personal exploration of my grief and a reflection of the love I still hold for Dylan.
Through my writing, I attempt to navigate the complex emotions that accompany such a profound loss. Poetry allows me to articulate feelings of despair, longing, and hope, providing a medium through which I can express both my pain and love. It’s a way for me to keep Dylan’s memory alive and to process the heavy weight of grief that often feels insurmountable.
If you are also facing similar emotions or wish to explore this journey of healing, you can read more of my poems that delve into the experience of losing a child. I invite you to reflect on these emotions through my work: Find Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss,and Losing a Child. Here, poetry becomes a bridge for understanding and coping with immense grief, offering solace to those in need.
RELATED POEMS ON LOVE AND LOSS
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“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope Summary “Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope addresses grieving parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child to suicide. It underscores the profound importance of honoring their child’s memory through meaningful rituals, sharing heartfelt stories, and engaging in advocacy events that…
Read MoreWhen Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’
When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ Summary When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ unravels the profound complexities surrounding suicide, featuring an impactful poem and a heartfelt treatise by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand.” This poignant article and poetic reflection encourage readers…
Read MoreHolding True to My Son’s Narrative: “Shaped by Love” Poem Analysis
Holding True to My Son’s Narrative: “Shaped by Love” Poem Analysis Summary Holding True to My Son’s Narrative: “Shaped by Love” Poem Analysis by Beth Brown explores the profound connection between love and grief following the loss of her son to suicide. The poem emphasizes the author’s refusal to change her narrative of grief, asserting…
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Healing Words: Download 3 Compassionate Poems for Coping with the Loss of a Child

Meet the Author, Beth Brown

Getting to Know the Heart Behind the Words
A Heart Unbroken: The Journey of Healing
Thirteen years ago, a heart-wrenching tragedy shattered the life of a mother when she lost her only son, Dylan, to suicide. I am that mother, and my beloved son had just turned 20 years old.
I loved my son fiercely, but love was not enough to save Dylan from his struggles with depression.
On an academic scholarship at a prestigious university, Dylan had continued his studies in art and music, choosing to major in Digital Media. I loved my son fiercely, but love was not enough to save Dylan from his struggles with depression.
Weeping Even in My Sleep
- Grief exhausted all of me. Who I was went away, or at least lived suspended from the depths of what seemed bottomless grief. In early grief (for me the first three years after losing Dylan), my life felt impossible.
- Tears everywhere. Weeping even in my sleep. Unable to function in my professional life, I found everything in my life had changed. I couldn’t meet the challenges of everyday life. I was consumed with grief and mourning.
- I knew nothing about suicide, only what I’d read about or what I’d seen in movies. I began to search for books and resources. I knew I needed support; I just didn’t know where to turn.
My Sanctuary and Saving Grace
- I began blogging in 2015. My sanctuary and saving grace, writing/blogging was a place where pain and love could coexist. Little did I know that as grief settled in for the long haul, my pain and love will always coexist for my son.
- I carry both ache and love, for they both are my love for my son. The pages of my blog were extended journal entries, filled with original poems, songs, and narratives from that deepest place of ache and love, my grief and my healing.
- Before losing my son, I had thrived as a writing and literature teacher, inspiring students with the power of words and the strength of their voice. Now my own story was unfolding, filled with sorrow and strength, ache and love.
Discovering My Voice Once More
- Through my writing, I discovered my voice once more; although irrevocably transformed by the profound loss I experienced, my words captured the gradual journey of learning to navigate life with both grief and love.
- As the seasons changed, so did I, embracing healing in its many forms, writing poems, songs, reflections, stories, and articles.
- Though the pain of losing Dylan remained, I learned to celebrate his life through memories and stories told. I found joy in small things—a warm cup of tea, the rustle of leaves, a good book—each moment a reminder of the love that still lived within me.
I found joy in small things—a warm cup of tea, the rustle of leaves, a good book—each moment a reminder of the love that still lived within me.
- And so I continue to write, to heal, and to love—my heart unbroken, forever carrying my son with me in this wilderness of life.
Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
I’ve created a poignant collection of poems, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, that explores the profound journey of healing after the heartbreaking loss of a child to suicide. This collection is now available on Amazon Kindle, offering heartfelt comfort and solace for those navigating their grief.
The Story of My Forever Son

What Happened? The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief
I started this blog, My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide in 2015, three years into my journey of grief. You can read more about what happened here: The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief recounts the author’s harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Her story highlights her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing, especially through works like the “If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)” poem: reflections on love and loss. The blog “My Forever Son” came about as a way for the author to work through this devastating grief that follows the loss of a child to suicide. My Forever Son blog serves as a platform for sharing experiences and finding healing and solace in community.

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing offers a heartfelt collection of poems that deeply resonate with the profound sorrow of parents who have experienced the unimaginable pain of losing a child to suicide. These poignant verses navigate the intense emotions of this tragic loss, beautifully capturing the stages of grief while gently guiding readers towards hope and healing on their journey through grief.

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience
The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience, explores the author’s journey of grief through the metaphor of a Magnolia tree’s cyclical seasons. The author uses photography to illustrate the parallels between nature’s cycles and the seasons of grief, finding hope and healing in writing, gardening, and nature’s resilience. The Magnolia tree’s resilience symbolizes renewal and the possibility of finding joy again despite profound heartbreak. After reflections on nature’s resilience, the author reflects on grief and healing (echoes of joy and shadows of loss) after losing her son to suicide.

Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources
Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources offers an extensive collection of resources aimed at helping parents understand the complexities of suicide to help with their profound grief. This invaluable guide not only provides insights but also connects parents with supportive communities, fostering a sense of belonging and emphasizing gentle pathways to hope and healing during such a heartbreaking time.

Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide
Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide offers a gentle and understanding perspective on the complex emotions that emerge after the devastating loss of a loved one through suicide, particularly from the vantage point of parents.This guide thoughtfully addresses the overwhelming and often contradictory feelings of grief, guilt, and sorrow that can envelop parents navigating such profound heartache.

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents
Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents gently supports parents navigating the profound sorrow of losing a child to suicide. This heartfelt article acknowledges the intense grief that such a tragedy brings and offers compassionate guidance on finding a way forward. The healing strategies shared emphasize self-care and the importance of seeking professional help, while inviting parents to connect with others who understand their pain.

Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss
I have shared my grief journey on this blog, My Forever Son, reflecting on those painful early years and sharing glimmers of hope along the way. Through sleepless nights and tears, I found that my deep love for my son sustains me through his absence.
Carrying both ache and love after losing my son to suicide has been the crux of my grief journey these past 12 years. I share insights into healing from deep grief in the article, Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss, where ache for his absence and love for my son walk together in my heart. Holding hands, one is never without the other, but ache and love have carried me—and carry me still.

When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”
When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,”explores the complexities of suicide and includes a compassionate treatise written by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” challenging the notion that it is a choice. The treatise, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” emphasizes the inevitability of death, regardless of the cause, and the limitations of love in preventing it. The author of the treatise “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand” and this article, “When Love Isn’t Enough,” Beth Brown shares her personal journey of grief after losing her son to suicide, finding solace in writing and nature photography.
Meet Dylan, My Forever Son

Twenty Years of Love: Dylan
“Twenty Years of Love: Dylan” offers a poignant exploration of grief and loss, weaving together cherished memories and reflections on Dylan’s life. The emotional resonance of this piece is deeply felt, beautifully portraying both the love and sorrow that the author carries in their heart. The thoughtful inclusion of links to further readings about Dylan and resources for support is a compassionate touch that adds immense value to those who may be navigating similar journeys.

Walking Through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide
Walking through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide offers a deeply moving and heartfelt narrative that illuminates the unimaginable pain of losing a child to suicide. The personal stories shared create a sincere and unfiltered glimpse into the heavy journey of grief and the gradual path toward healing. Through poignant reflections and a poetic exploration on grief, the author navigates the chaotic emotions that accompany such a catastrophic event, revealing both the struggles and the moments of unexpected solace that can emerge even in the darkest times.

I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son
I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son lovingly encapsulates the profound heartache and cherished memories tied to the author’s beloved son, Dylan. Through heartfelt imagery and poignant personal stories, it invites readers to share in an emotional journey that resonates deeply, fostering a compassionate understanding of loss and love.

I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide
I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide is a heartfelt collection of personal reflections and cherished memories that navigates the profound journey of grief and hope following the heartbreaking loss of a son to suicide. The rawness of the emotions is deeply felt, drawing readers into a shared space of empathy. Through vivid descriptions and nostalgic elements, the work evokes a sense of connection and understanding, while the stunning images inspire hope and healing amidst the sorrow.

Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts
Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts invites readers into the heart/h-wrenching yet beautifully profound journey of a mother’s grief after the devastating loss of her beloved 20-year-old son, Dylan, who tragically died by suicide. Through a heartfelt collection of original poems and personal reflections, she courageously shares the painful complexities of her sorrow, the small moments of hope that emerged, and her ongoing path toward healing.
Heartfelt Stories and Poems of Love and Loss

“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide delves into the deep, heart-wrenching sorrow of losing a child to suicide. This poignant piece not only articulates the immense pain of such a loss but also provides vital resources to navigate the challenging journey of grief. With tender personal reflections and thoughtful coping strategies, the post and poem, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” serves as a compassionate companion for those who are enduring similar heartaches.

A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table
A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table chronicles a family’s journey through the loss of their beloved son, Dylan. This tragedy alters their connections, turning a joyful gathering space into one of reflection. The narrative captures the struggle between despair and acceptance, underscoring love’s enduring power amidst heartache. In honoring Dylan’s memory, they find unexpected joy in their grief, illustrating the resilience of the human spirit in the face of loss.

Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide
Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide gently delves into the profound and heart-wrenching sorrow experienced by grandparents who endure the unimaginable loss of their grandchild. This painful journey envelops them in a dual mourning, as they grieve not only the precious life that is gone but also the shattered dreams and cherished memories that will sorrowfully remain unrealized for their own child, the grieving parent.

Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy
Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy beautifully captures the deep sorrow and unwavering love a mother feels for her son. The author bravely shares her heartfelt journey, navigating the immense pain and heartbreak tied to her son’s fourth suicide attempt on Memorial Day. Through her poignant narrative, she reveals the complex layers of a mother’s grief, intricately woven with fleeting moments of hope that resonate powerfully with anyone who is facing loss.

“Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay”: A Poem on Suicide Loss
“Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay” A Poem on Suicide Loss explores the profound sorrow a parent endures after losing a child to suicide. It addresses themes of grief and guilt, highlighting the heavy shadow such a tragedy casts on life. This poignant narrative captures a parent’s transformative journey in the wake of their child’s absence, revealing emotions of shame while confronting societal stigma surrounding suicide. With compassion and insight, the poem resonates with anyone who has faced similar heart-wrenching experiences.

11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe
11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe powerfully conveys the depths of my unyielding grief and a relentless yearning for my beloved son, Dylan, whose vibrant spirit was tragically stolen by suicide eleven heart-wrenching years ago at merely twenty. As my only child, his absence has carved an immense void in my soul, reshaping every facet of my life while perpetually stirring the cherished memories of the beautiful moments we once savored together.
Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.
Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.
HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.
Resources and Support Groups
Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
http://www.pos-ffos.com
This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
https://www.taps.org/suicide
This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.
United Survivors
https://unitesurvivors.org/
This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.
Professional Organizations
American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.
The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.
Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.
LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.
Online resources
Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.
Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.
Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.
SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.
Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.
Finding professional care and support
Find a mental health provider
- afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
- findtreatment.samhsa.gov
- mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
- inclusivetherapists.com
- afsp.org/suicide-bereavement-trained-clinicians
Find a provider for prolonged grief
Find additional resources for marginalized communities
Crisis Services
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.
Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.
NEWEST POSTS

Professional Resources
Online Support for Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Suicide
Parents of Suicides is a closed, online email group of parents supporting one another after losing their child to suicide, creating a compassionate community where members can share their grief, experiences, and coping strategies.
Through the exchange of stories and insights, parents find solace in knowing they are not alone on this challenging journey.
Two Email Support Groups
We have two email support groups for anyone whose life has been affected by the suicide of another person. Both groups are led by volunteers; the groups don’t offer advice, and there is no charge to join them.
Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.
Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.
HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.
Resources and Support Groups
Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
http://www.pos-ffos.com
This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
https://www.taps.org/suicide
This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.
United Survivors
https://unitesurvivors.org/
This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.
Professional Organizations
American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.
The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.
Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.
LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.
Online resources
Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.
Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.
Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.
SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.
Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.
Finding professional care and support
Find a mental health provider
- afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
- findtreatment.samhsa.gov
- mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
- inclusivetherapists.com
- afsp.org/suicide-bereavement-trained-clinicians
Find a provider for prolonged grief
Find additional resources for marginalized communities
Crisis Services
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.
Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.
Parents of Suicides: An Online Support Group for Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide

Suicide is the anchor point on a continuum of suicidal thoughts & behaviors. This continuum is one that ranges from risk-taking behaviors at one end, extends through different degrees & types of suicidal thinking, & ends with suicide attempts and suicide.
Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, National Library of Medicine
Parents of Suicides is a dedicated international online closed email group where parents who have lost a child to suicide come together to offer support, hope, and healing. Join a Community of Understanding. Parents of Suicides (PoS) provides a safe space for sharing experiences, coping mechanisms, and emotional support. You are not alone in this journey. Together, we can find strength and solace.

Support and Resources for Grieving Parents of Suicide Loss
Support Groups
- Alliance for Hope for suicide loss survivors – https://forum.allianceofhope.org/forums/-/list
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention – https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group
- American Society of Suicidology – https://suicidology.org/resources/suicide-loss-survivors/
- British Columbia Bereavement Helpline, Suicide Grief Support – https://bcbh.ca/grief-support/suicide-grief-support/
- Coalition of Clinician-Survivors – https://www.cliniciansurvivor.org/#
- Community Support After Suicide (Peachtree Comprehensive Health) – https://www.pchprofessionals.com/community-support-after-suicide
- Compassionate Friends Loss to Suicide group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/tcflosstosuicide
- Emotions Matter Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Loss Group – https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/bpd-loss-group (note that not all losses are suicide, though many are. All losses have a connection to BPD.)
- Friends and Families of Suicide (FFOS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/ffos.htm
- Friends for Survival – https://friendsforsurvival.org/
- Heartbeat: Grief Support Following Suicide – https://www.heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org/services
- Helping Parents Heal: Special Interest Group -Moving Forward After Suicide – https://www.helpingparentsheal.org/affiliate-groups/special-interest-groups/ (note that Helping Parents Heal “goes a step beyond other groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and afterlife evidence—in a non-dogmatic way. HPH affiliate groups welcome everyone regardless of religious or non-religious background and encourage open dialog.”)
- Long Island Survivors of Suicide – https://lisos.org/
- The Lounge – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/about-4
- Parents of Suicide (POS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/pos.htm
- Sail to Heal – https://www.sail2heal.org/
- Smile through the Storms – https://www.smilethroughthestorms.com/
- Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE) – https://save.org/save-support-groups/
- Working on My Grief – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/

Books for Understanding Suicide And Mental Health
An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1995. In this memoir, an international authority on Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder describes her own struggle since adolescence with the disorder, and how it has shaped her life.
Darkness Visible
William Styron, Random House, 1990. A powerful and moving first-hand account of what depression feels like to the sufferer.
Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope with the Death of a Child to Suicide or Drugs
William Feigelman, Ph.D., John Jordan, Ph.D., John McIntosh, Ph.D., Beverly Feigelman, LCSW, Springer Publishing, 2012. This book provides useful avenues for future research on suicide loss and offers new insights into the grief process that follows the death of a child, both in the short term and years after a loss. Please note that, given its academic tone, the book is better suited to clinicians and educators than to recently bereaved lay readers.
Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1999. Kay Redfield Jamison’s in-depth psychological and scientific exploration of suicide traces the network of reasons underlying suicide, including the factors that interact to cause suicide, and outlines the evolving treatments available through modern medicine.
The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
Andrew Solomon, Scribner, 2001.Winner of the National Book Award, this book shares the author’s story of chronic depression, and places depression in a broader social context.
Why People Die by Suicide
Thomas Joiner, Ph.D., Harvard University Press, 2005.
Drawing on extensive clinical and epidemiological evidence, as well as personal experience, the author, who lost his father to suicide, identifies three factors that mark those most at risk of considering, attempting, or dying by suicide.
Recommended Reading
Book Recommendation: ‘A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief’ by Jeffrey Jackson, providing support for survivors of suicide loss, My Forever Son


Books
- Beal, Karyl Chastain (2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018). Faces of Suicide, Volumes One to Five.
- Brown, Beth (2023) Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
- Cacciatore, Joanne (2017). Bearing the Unbearable. Wisdom Publications.
- Clark, Ann (2020). Gone to Suicide. A mom’s truth on heartbreak, transformation and prevention. Iuniverse.
- Collins, Eileen Vorbach (2023). Love in the Archives. a patchwork of true stories about suicide loss. Apprentice House Press.
- Cross, Tracey (2013). Suicide among gifted children and adolescents. Understanding the suicidal mind. Prufrock Press.
- Dougy Center, The (2001). After a Suicide: An Activity Book for Grieving Kids. Dougy Center.
- Estes, Clarissa Pinkola (1988). The Faithful Gardener. HarperCollinsSanFrancisco.
- Fine, Carla (1997). No Time to Say Goodbye. Surviving the suicide of a loved one. Broadway Books.
- Heilmann, Lena M.Q. (2019). Still with Us. Voices of Sibling Suicide Loss Survivors. BDI Publishers.
- Hickman, Martha Whitmore (1994). Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. William Morrow Paperbacks
- Jamison, Kay Redfield (2000). Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. Vintage.
- Johnson, Julie Tallard (1994). Hidden Victims, Hidden Healers. An eight-stage healing process for families and friends of the mentally ill. Pema Publications.
- Joiner, Thomas (2005). Why People Die by Suicide. Harvard University Press
- Joiner, Thomas (2010). Myths About Suicide. Harvard University Press.
- Kushner, Harold S. (2004). When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Anchor Books
- O’Connor, Mary-Francis (2022). The Grieving Brain. HarperOne.
- Rasmussen, Christina (2019). Second Firsts. Hay House Inc.
- Shapiro, Larry (2020). Brain Pain. Giving insight to children who have lost a family member or a loved one to suicide. Safe Haven Books.
- Wickersham, Julie (2009). The Suicide Index: Putting My Father’s Death in Order. Mariner Books.
Therapies
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) – https://dbt-lbc.org/index.php
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – https://www.emdria.org/
- Prolonged Exposure (PE) – https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/prolonged-exposure

Memorial Sites
- Faces of Suicide – memorial site for those who died by suicide – https://www.facesofsuicide.com/
- Suicide Memorial Wall – tribute site for those who died by suicide – https://www.suicidememorialwall.com/

Embracing Grief: A Poetic Journey of Love
Have you ever considered how your story might connect with others? We encourage you to share how you have embraced your grief and how it reflects the deep love you have for your child. Your experience can powerfully show how love and loss are connected, inspiring others on their journeys.
- Reflect on your experiences: How have you embraced your grief? How does your grief reflect the deep love you have for your child?
Sharing your story can be a meaningful step in your healing journey. Reach out, and let’s transform your grief into a narrative that inspires and uplifts.

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