One Last Mother’s Day Card: “I Will Love You Forever Mom”

A mother’s reflections on losing her only child–her 20-year-old son–to suicide, this blog (My Forever Son: Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide) includes messages of hope and healing amidst acute, complicated, and ongoing grieving. A must-read for parents of suicides, and a resource for friends and families who have lost a child. I am Beth, Dylan’s Mom, and I write here that my son might live too, and that I might reach across to others who are moving through the heaviness of grief to find hope and healing.

I Will Love You Forever Mom

Summary

One Last Mother’s Day Card: “I Will Love You Forever Mom,” reflects on the author’s profound grief three years after losing her beloved son, Dylan, to the unthinkable tragedy of suicide. In her heartfelt narrative, she shares a collection of bittersweet memories that paint a vivid picture of their time together, including a cherished Mother’s Day card from Dylan that expresses his love and admiration.

Through her poignant recollections, she emphasizes the enduring bond of love that transcends even the deepest pain of loss, illustrating how the memories of happier times can coexist with the sorrow of his absence. The author offers hope and healing to others experiencing similar grief, inviting them to acknowledge their pain while also celebrating the beauty of the love that remains, reminding readers that they are not alone in their journey of remembrance and resilience.

“I’ll love you forever,

I’ll like you for always,

as long as I’m living

my baby you’ll be.”

Robert Munsch, Love Your Forever

Introduction

One Last Mother’s Day Card: “I Will Love You Forever Mom,” finds author Beth Brown reminiscing about the last Mother’s Day card she received from her son, a card that now carries both the weight of love and sorrow following his tragic suicide. As she reflects on that day, she recalls his smile, a fleeting moment before the darkness engulfed him.

Each word in the card resonates differently now, a reminder of their shared laughter and the painful reality of unspoken struggles. Even Dylan’s handwriting expressed his depression. More a whisper than the sturdy pen stroke he’d always used, Dylan’s handwriting spoke out loud what his depression held in.

Socially shy and gifted musically and artistically, Dylan penned love in a signature to his mother that feels both distant and deeply personal, contrasting sharply with the loss she endures. It was not just a card but a poignant reminder of a life that ended too soon, a token she clings to amidst her grief, serving as a haunting testament to their bond and the unresolved questions that linger in her heart.

Related Reads

• My Forever Son: Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
• The Pain of Losing a Child: Holidays Bring Reflection
• Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide
• My Forever Son, My Beloved Dylan: “Just Breathe”
• Finding Hope Through Grief: Poems of Love and Loss

Reflections on Three Years Out After Losing Dylan

Author’s Note: There’s something about my third year of grief that was a turning point for me. The acute pain of early grief my first two years after my son’s suicide felt unbearable. By year three I was exhausted and still grieving, yet in some small way also reaching for a glimpse of hope.

I began this blog, My Forever Son, as a means of journaling the heaviness of my feelings in 2015. Since that time, I’ve found healing through writing in the most unexpected ways. Journals, articles, poems, reflections, and a book of poems came from a grief bigger than I could handle. And from this raw grief has come the glimpses of hope and healing along the way. I am thirteen years past my son’s death, though still am touched by the rawness of my grief early on.

I write numerous articles and journals about grief and searching for hope in year three. You can read more here:

---

Originally Published 2016

Holidays and Memorial Dates Bring Reflection

It has been 3 years of acute agony, pain, and the hell of grieving the loss of my only child to suicide. Beautiful, albeit bittersweet memories come sweeping in and across the landscape of my heart and for a precious moment in time, I am reminded of and surrounded by all the precious love bonds between Dylan and me.

Still Struggling with Grief

Other times, I am caught off guard in deep, deep ache and heart-wrenching pain. My son is dead. Dylan is dead. Tears always come, not always publicly, as I am sometimes able to make it to my car, or leave where I am to go home, other times I just let the tears fall.

I still sob after three years, just not as long and usually on my own, although this is not always the case. My cat comes to me when I cry. She circles my feet until I pick her up, then tucks into me. Perhaps Dylan is with me still.

One Last “Happy Mother’s Day” Card

Yesterday, I found a Mother’s Day card from 2012. Dylan would dead within a month a couple of weeks post Mother’s Day. It is bright orange, Dylan’s favorite color as a child, and it is beautiful. I wasn’t looking for the card, and it kind of just appeared. I saw it sticking out of a pile of other cards and things I’ve been intending to sort, organize, and put in a keepsake box. 

Joy of Being Called “Mom”

The card says “mom, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t need your love and support. . .and I can’t imagine a time when I won’t. Happy Mother’s Day With Love.”

Dylan signed it “I’ll love you forever mom. Love Dylan.”

That did me in. It’s now on my desk beside me, propped open to the “I’ll love you forever mom, Love, Dylan.”

He knew, he just couldn’t tell me.

I love him so much still, always, forever. Love doesn’t die. It is only this interim between now and when I get to see him again that brings ache and sadness and a constant heavy heart.

Beth, Dylan’s Mom
March 19, 1992-June 25, 2012
Forever my heart, my wings, my love

“My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care”: A Lullaby of Hope

If you’re seeking a “lullaby of hope” for a child in heaven, the song “My Child on Earth Above In Heaven’s Care”: A Lullaby of Hope by Beth Brown is featured on her blog, My Forever Son, where she beautifully captures the essence of love that transcends earthly bounds. This touching melody serves not only as a soothing balm for grieving hearts but also as a heartfelt reminder that our child is always watching over us, wrapped in the warmth of our memories.

The lyrics, infused with tender sentiments, resonate with anyone who has experienced loss, making it a cherished piece for parents longing to connect with their beloved children in a profound and meaningful way. The storytelling is powerful, showcasing the impact of the lullaby and the memories of the author’s son. The integration of images adds a heartfelt dimension/h to the narrative.

I Will Love You Forever

Carrying Both Loving Memories of My Son and This Impossible Pain of Devastating Loss

In the beginning, I could only see pain. But I’ve learned to live carrying both loving memories of Dylan and this impossible pain of devastating loss.

A Parent Speaks About Hope

A parent who lost a child to suicide writes: “It will never be like before but the crushing, all consuming pain you feel right now will soften. You will be able to live with it (the pain). It just becomes part of you.”

In the strangest of ways, there is comfort in these words–“It (the pain) just becomes part of you.” In early grief, my pain felt vicious, causing piercing pain in my heart and turning my world inside out. I couldn’t eat, sleep, work, and I couldn’t return to teaching. I took a leave of absence from work, then pursued work in a new direction. It was just too painful to see my students. I taught students who were Dylan’s age when he died.

In early grief, all of my life was messy, overwhelming, consumed with a grief that felt like it would never end. I grieved for the loss of my son, I grieved for all that I lost, and I grieved for a future that will never be. It is only now, more than a decade after my son’s passing, that I see the intense emotional storm I was cast into when Dylan died roughly resembled, though in complete antithesis, the enormous changes in my life when Dylan was born.

Dylan was born a month early, tiny, incubated, and I had worked hard to get him as far along as I did. I was put on bed rest at four months, and only years later would be diagnosed with two heart defects of my own that most likely made pregnancy difficult at best and a miracle that I was able to bring a child into the world at all. I grew sickly, ill, a lesser version of myself, and pregnancy (with my own health challenges), took a toll on me. When Dylan was born, I couldn’t eat, sleep, or work; in part because this is what new mothers do. It is a full-time job to care for an infant.

But I see now that both my son’s infancy and his death brought an intensity of change to my life that felt overwhelming. My emotions, in both Dylan’s infancy and after his death at age 20, chaotically and haphazardly ran rampant through the framework of my life. Without structure, without routine, sleep-deprived and consumed with the up and down nature of intense emotions, my life fell apart. Both when Dylan was born. Anxiety. Worry. Sleepless. In tears. And in the throes of acute grief. Devastated. Not knowing where to turn, Sleepless. Unable to focus. At the whim of the catastrophic jolt of emotions so intense I wasn’t sure I’d make it out alive.

Both then, in 1992 when Dylan was born, and then again, in 2012, when Dylan died by suicide, everything about my life changed. But the incredible sweep of love that moved through me in Dylan’s infancy and early years sustained me through major changes in my life. Dylan brought me life, and as he grew, my love deepened. Dylan brought “forever” to me. Purpose. Steadfastness. And I felt deeply connected to us both.

Plunged into the depths of grief when Dylan died, I fell into a chaos and intensity of emotions that crippled my life, my ability to take care of myself, and my ability to work. The difference? I had no way back from the abyss of grief. That incredible sweep of love? A love that sustained me while I regained my footing? Gone. Swept away in the night. My heart’s beat stilled by the arrival of a deputy sheriff on my doorstep in the middle of the night.

I had no way back. No way to regain anything in my life. “Just breathe,” said a mother with more time out from the death of her son. “Just breathe.”

I joined a support group for bereaved parents, and I heard more messages from grieving parents.

“Do one thing for yourself today.”

“Say ‘no’ even when you’ve said ‘yes.'”

“Tell you story as many times as you need to until you don’t need to hear it anymore.”

“You will want to live again and be able to enjoy life again.”

“It will never be like before, but the crushing, all-consuming pain you feel right now will soften.”

“You will be able to live with [the pain of grief]. It just becomes part of you.”

To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to be here and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain does change, it softens. You will want to live again and be able to enjoy
life again. It will never be like before, but the crushing, all- consuming pain you feel right now will soften. You will be able to live with it. It just becomes part of you.

A bereaved parent who lost her son to suicide-Excerpt from Rising Up-Because Love Lives Forever, My Forever Son

Now I carry ache and love together. Yes, I will always have bittersweet moments, but I also have beautiful memories of love. One is not without the other. Dylan was–and is still–so much a part of me.

Rising Up Because…

I will not let the world forget my son lived. My memories, stories, and writing keep his life going on. I did, in the beginning of my grief, believe I was telling Dylan’s stories. I now see I am telling my own.

Grief has brought me to the edge of myself–that place in despair where I have screamed: “Bring it! Just Bring It!” then collapsed into tears.

And it’s brought me to that place where I can’t stand any more pain, where all that’s left is surrender. Not willingly. Not because my heart has healed. And not because I’ve finished grieving the loss of my son. That place where sky meets sun in the middle of a storm, that rainbow, love living with loss, loss still there but love shining too. That’s surrender.

I straddle love for and loss of my son. In the beginning, I could only see pain. But I’ve learned to live carrying both loving memories of Dylan and this impossible pain of devastating loss.

Beth Brown, My Forever Son, Rising Up

Author’s Note: A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son

Twelve years ago, I lost my 20-year-old son, Dylan, to suicide, a heartbreaking event that shattered my world and plunged me into a dark period of grief.

During those long months, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and thoughts, questioning everything around me and struggling to make sense of what will never make sense. I entered into a deep grief filled with solitude and despair, a darkness so bleak I questioned ever being able to see light again.

In the beginning, I had no words. No voice. No ability to express the grief I was feeling.

My words were lost in torrents of tears, in stark contrast to the vibrant discussions I used to lead in my college composition and literature classes.

Perhaps it’s important to preface that I was teaching college composition and literature when I lost my son to suicide, a tragedy that shattered all of me. The irony of discussing the complexities of human emotion with my students while grappling with my own profound sorrow was not lost on me.

Each day, I faced the challenge of maintaining my professional facade, all the while battling an internal tempest that seemed insurmountable, wondering how to bridge the chasm between my role as an educator and the personal devastation I was enduring.

My Life Before Losing My Son

Books, lectures, teaching—I once felt empowered by my voice, a resonant tool for sharing ideas and knowledge. It was a time when I believed in the strength of my words and the influence they carried, inspiring others to think deeply and engage in meaningful conversations.

I reveled in the connections I forged through sharing my thoughts, feeling a sense of purpose in my contributions to the world. But when Dylan died by suicide, I felt consumed by my grief. My heart collapsed inward in sharp pain, I retreated from the outside world, and my words eluded me.

Teaching was impossible. Losing Dylan shattered my life, leaving me, on the outside at least, grappling with an overwhelming silence that echoed louder than any lecture or written page.

On the inside, I was screaming sounds I did not recognize as my own.

The Depth of My Loss Brought My Life to a Standstill

The vibrant energy that once fueled my passion for writing vanquished, and I found myself questioning everything without being able to lend voice to the confusion and overwhelming feelings I was moving through in my grief.

The depth of my loss silenced the joy I once derived from sharing my thoughts and connecting with others.

All of my life came to a standstill as I entered a place of deep grief. It is only in retrospect and in these twelve years past my son’s suicide that I see how all-consuming my grief was.

Diminishing the confidence that fuels expression, my grief stifled my voice completely. It’s been a difficult battle to reclaim my sense of self amidst such sorrow.

A Poetic Quest for Self-Forgiveness and Healing

Journaling was awkward. I couldn’t put all the pain I was feeling into words that did justice to the enormity of my heartbreak. But I kept writing. Slowly, in keeping a record of my grief, I realized I was creating a poetic journey about losing a child to suicide.

“Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing”

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems and reflections by Beth Brown, the compassionate voice behind the My Forever Son blog. This poignant work navigates the deep, overwhelming sorrow that accompanies the tragic loss of a child to suicide. In her writing, Brown bravely shares her personal journey through grief, revealing how the act of writing poetry and connecting with the beauty of nature became vital sources of comfort and healing for her in the midst of such profound pain.

Through the author’s heartfelt verses, she reaches out with warmth and understanding to those who are journeying through their own sorrows. With her enchanting photography of the trees, shrubs, and flowers that grace her gardens throughout the seasons, Brown lovingly shares a beacon of hope, brightly illuminating the shadows cast by grief.

On Finding Hope: Photographing My Gardens Brings Healing

In nature, I find calm in the wake of profound sorrow and healing in the cycling of the seasons. Predictable. Beautiful in the spring, promising renewal after a long winter’s rest. Brilliant hues in the summer months. Autumn bringing trees and shrubs bejeweled in vivid reds, oranges, and reds. And then the stillness and monochromatic sketch of what can be a too long winter’s sleep.

Winter Wonderland: Captivating Photos in My Gardens

A Long Winter’s Rest for Trees, Shrubs, and Flowers

This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken.

This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken. An empty landscape. Gray skies for months. A blanket of snow in white, though only the stark limbs of trees and shrubs. At times, though, red berries appear on some shrubs, supplying food for birds and wildlife. All this to say I can’t see life against this wintry scene.

But in photographing nature through the seasons, I began to see (again), the brilliance of a long winter’s rest for trees, shrubs, and flowers. To study nature and botany is to realize that what appears lifeless is actually the process of life within all of nature renewing itself. Trusting in what I cannot see brings hope and healing.

Spring Brings Hope: Photographs of My Gardens

Spring Brings Beauty and Hope

Even against the cold remnants of a long winter–scattered clumps of snow, a robin redbreast plumped out to keep itself warm against a late March frost, brown dried leaves with nary a sign of color anywhere, spring breaks through. At first just small bits of color. A hint of purple as crocus push through thawing ground, then the vivid yellows of daffodils leaning towards the sun and the suddenness of blue bells. Rhododendron yawns and stretches its lavender limbs to awaken azalea, still sleepy with snow though greening beneath it all.

What seems forever gone in the gray doldrums of winter arrives with an abundance of joy come spring.

---

Writing My Way Through Grief to Find Hope and Healing

Snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections

Three years into my grief, I began writing journal entries. Short. A few feelings. About my day and where I was in my grief journey. Then slowly, snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections. Words shaped the deep feelings and emotional longing in my heart, and as I continued writing, I began to find small glimpses of hope in unexpected ways.

Photographing my gardens garnered a way to coalesce all the many feelings and words I’d been unable to express. And the more I photographed through the seasons, the more glimmers of hope I found along the way.

Each poignant poem in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a dedicated blog post in its own right, replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

The poems included in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing appear below. Each poem is a blog post in its own right, oftentimes replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

Each poem moves the reader through the profound emotions of grief and healing after losing a child.

Many of the poems tell narratives I remember from my son’s childhood. This is significant–reconstructing the narrative of our lives during his growing-up years brings release for all the love and beautiful memories before the trauma of losing him. Writing these poems and narratives, these poetic reflections on love and loss, have helped me learn to carry love and ache together.

Still I write. Still I heal. Still I miss my son.

---

From Shattered Hearts to Quiet Hope: Poems and Reflections for Parents of Suicide Loss

Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

If you are reading this, you know the unique and overwhelming grief of losing a child to suicide. This collection is for you—a place to find words and images that honor your pain, offer comfort, and gently invite hope.

Curated by Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide, these poems and reflections move through the rawness of early trauma, the depths of acute grief, and the slow journey toward healing, even thirteen years later. Each post pairs heartfelt writing with stunning garden photography, inspired by Beth’s own search for solace in nature’s resilience.

Hope can be quiet—listen for it in moments of rest.

You are invited to explore at your own pace. Choose what resonates—whether it’s a poem that mirrors your sorrow, a reflection that offers comfort, or an image that whispers hope. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

Contemplation Prompt:
Pause with a garden image. What does it say to you about survival, growth, or hope?

About the Author, Beth Brown: Writing My Way Through Grief

The love you shared endures beyond loss.

This collection is lovingly curated by Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. Over thirteen years, Beth’s journey through the depths of grief has been shaped by poetry, reflection, and the healing presence of her gardens. Through My Forever Son, she shares how nature’s resilience and beauty offer moments of solace and hope, even in the face of unimaginable loss.

Explore These Poems and Reflections at Your Own Pace

You are invited to explore these poems and reflections at your own pace. Each post pairs heartfelt words with stunning garden photography, offering comfort, understanding, and gentle encouragement for wherever you are in your grief. Select what speaks to you—let these pages be a companion on your path toward healing. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

Journaling Prompt:
What memories of your child bring both tears and warmth? Write a few lines, letting your heart speak freely.

You are not alone. Healing is a journey, and hope can bloom—even here.

Message of Hope:
Even in the darkest seasons, a single flower can remind us that beauty and life persist. Let these poems be gentle companions as you move through your grief.

Embracing Grief: A Mother’s Poetic Journey

From journaling to discovering the poetic language that encapsulates my grief, I penned my path to healing, culminating in the creation of my book, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide.

The anthology of poems in this book provides a profound and moving examination of grief, intricately intertwining original verses that delve into themes of loss, guilt, hope, self-forgiveness, and the path to healing. Expertly curated, the arrangement of poems invites deep reflection, serving as a treasured companion for those in search of solace and connection during difficult times.

Professional Resources

Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress

After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.

Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.

Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.

HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.

---

Resources and Support Groups

Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
http://www.pos-ffos.com
This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.

Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
https://www.taps.org/suicide
This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.

United Survivors
https://unitesurvivors.org/
This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.

Professional Organizations

American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.

The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.

Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.

LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.

Online resources

Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.

Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.

Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.

SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.

Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.

Finding professional care and support

Find a mental health provider

• afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
• findtreatment.samhsa.gov
• mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
• inclusivetherapists.com
• afsp.org/suicide-bereavement-trained-clinicians

Find a provider for prolonged grief

• prolongedgrief.columbia.edu

Find additional resources for marginalized communities

• afsp.org/mental-health-resources-for-marginalized-communities

Crisis Services

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.

Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.

Support Groups

• Alliance for Hope for suicide loss survivors – https://forum.allianceofhope.org/forums/-/list
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention – https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group
• American Society of Suicidology – https://suicidology.org/resources/suicide-loss-survivors/
• British Columbia Bereavement Helpline, Suicide Grief Support – https://bcbh.ca/grief-support/suicide-grief-support/
• Coalition of Clinician-Survivors – https://www.cliniciansurvivor.org/# 
• Community Support After Suicide (Peachtree Comprehensive Health) – https://www.pchprofessionals.com/community-support-after-suicide  
• Compassionate Friends Loss to Suicide group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/tcflosstosuicide
• Emotions Matter Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Loss Group – https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/bpd-loss-group (note that not all losses are suicide, though many are. All losses have a connection to BPD.)
• Friends and Families of Suicide (FFOS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/ffos.htm
• Friends for Survival – https://friendsforsurvival.org/
• Heartbeat: Grief Support Following Suicide – https://www.heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org/services
• Helping Parents Heal: Special Interest Group -Moving Forward After Suicide – https://www.helpingparentsheal.org/affiliate-groups/special-interest-groups/ (note that Helping Parents Heal “goes a step beyond other groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and afterlife evidence—in a non-dogmatic way.  HPH affiliate groups welcome everyone regardless of religious or non-religious background and encourage open dialog.”)
• Long Island Survivors of Suicide – https://lisos.org/ 
• The Lounge – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/about-4 
• Parents of Suicide (POS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/pos.htm
• Sail to Heal – https://www.sail2heal.org/ 
• Smile through the Storms – https://www.smilethroughthestorms.com/ 
• Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE) – https://save.org/save-support-groups/
• Working on My Grief  – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/ 

---

Books for Understanding Suicide And Mental Health

An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1995. In this memoir, an international authority on Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder describes her own struggle since adolescence with the disorder, and how it has shaped her life.

Darkness Visible
William Styron, Random House, 1990. A powerful and moving first-hand account of what depression feels like to the sufferer.

Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope with the Death of a Child to Suicide or Drugs
William Feigelman, Ph.D., John Jordan, Ph.D., John McIntosh, Ph.D., Beverly Feigelman, LCSW, Springer Publishing, 2012. This book provides useful avenues for future research on suicide loss and offers new insights into the grief process that follows the death of a child, both in the short term and years after a loss.  Please note that, given its academic tone, the book is better suited to clinicians and educators than to recently bereaved lay readers.

Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1999. Kay Redfield Jamison’s in-depth psychological and scientific exploration of suicide traces the network of reasons underlying suicide, including the factors that interact to cause suicide, and outlines the evolving treatments available through modern medicine.

The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
Andrew Solomon, Scribner, 2001.Winner of the National Book Award, this book shares the author’s story of chronic depression, and places depression in a broader social context.

Why People Die by Suicide
Thomas Joiner, Ph.D., Harvard University Press, 2005.
Drawing on extensive clinical and epidemiological evidence, as well as personal experience, the author, who lost his father to suicide, identifies three factors that mark those most at risk of considering, attempting, or dying by suicide.

---

Recommended Reading

Book Recommendation: ‘A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief’ by Jeffrey Jackson, providing support for survivors of suicide loss, My Forever Son

---

Books

• Beal, Karyl Chastain (2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018). Faces of Suicide, Volumes One to Five.
• Brown, Beth (2023) Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
• Cacciatore, Joanne (2017). Bearing the Unbearable. Wisdom Publications.
• Clark, Ann (2020). Gone to Suicide. A mom’s truth on heartbreak, transformation and prevention. Iuniverse.
• Collins, Eileen Vorbach (2023). Love in the Archives. a patchwork of true stories about suicide loss. Apprentice House Press.
• Cross, Tracey (2013). Suicide among gifted children and adolescents. Understanding the suicidal mind. Prufrock Press.
• Dougy Center, The (2001). After a Suicide: An Activity Book for Grieving Kids. Dougy Center.
• Estes, Clarissa Pinkola (1988). The Faithful Gardener. HarperCollinsSanFrancisco.
• Fine, Carla (1997). No Time to Say Goodbye. Surviving the suicide of a loved one. Broadway Books.
• Heilmann, Lena M.Q. (2019). Still with Us. Voices of Sibling Suicide Loss Survivors. BDI Publishers.
• Hickman, Martha Whitmore (1994). Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. William Morrow Paperbacks
• Jamison, Kay Redfield (2000). Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. Vintage.
• Johnson, Julie Tallard (1994). Hidden Victims, Hidden Healers. An eight-stage healing process for families and friends of the mentally ill. Pema Publications.
• Joiner, Thomas (2005). Why People Die by Suicide. Harvard University Press
• Joiner, Thomas (2010). Myths About Suicide. Harvard University Press.
• Kushner, Harold S. (2004). When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Anchor Books
• O’Connor, Mary-Francis (2022). The Grieving Brain. HarperOne.
• Rasmussen, Christina (2019). Second Firsts. Hay House Inc.
• Shapiro, Larry (2020). Brain Pain. Giving insight to children who have lost a family member or a loved one to suicide. Safe Haven Books.
• Wickersham, Julie (2009). The Suicide Index: Putting My Father’s Death in Order. Mariner Books.

Memorial Sites

• Faces of Suicide – memorial site for those who died by suicide –  https://www.facesofsuicide.com/
• Suicide Memorial Wall – tribute site for those who died by suicide – https://www.suicidememorialwall.com/

What Content is Included in My ForeverAs I Tucku In: Song for ChLo

---