“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope
Key Takeaways
- The poignant poem “Travel On My Brave Soldier” offers a message of hope amid grief and loss.
- Grieving parents who have lost a child to suicide can honor their child’s memory through rituals, sharing stories, and participating in advocacy events.
- Iris M. Bolton provides tips for survivors of suicide loss, emphasizing the importance of forgiveness and the need for support.
- Suicide is not a choice, but a critical health issue, highlighting the need for understanding rather than judgment.
- Resources for support include the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and additional information from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Summary
“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope addresses grieving parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child to suicide. It underscores the profound importance of honoring their child’s memory through meaningful rituals, sharing heartfelt stories, and engaging in advocacy events that uplift awareness. The poem beautifully captures the deep intertwining of love, loss, and remembrance, inviting parents to connect with others who understand their pain. It compassionately highlights the urgent need for empathy and support for survivors, encouraging them to reach out for forgiveness and begin a journey of healing. Ultimately, the poem creates a warm community of support that can help lighten the burden of grief, allowing the cherished legacy of the lost child to live on in the hearts of those left behind.
Introduction
“Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope conveys a heartfelt message for grieving parents who have lost a child to suicide. This poignant piece emphasizes the importance of honoring their child’s memory through rituals like planting a tree or lighting a candle, while sharing stories that keep their spirit alive. It highlights the power of community, where shared experiences foster understanding and compassion among those who have faced similar losses. The poem also underscores the need for empathy and support for survivors of suicide loss, encouraging forgiveness towards both their loved ones and themselves as they navigate grief. In doing so, it inspires a transformative journey of healing that honors their child’s legacy while rediscovering moments of joy and connection.
Related Reads
My Forever Son
My Forever Son explores the profound grief, hope, and healing that follow the tragedy of losing a child to suicide.
My Forever Son dovetails the author’s journey of descending into deep grief, searching for hope, and finding healing along the way.
Table of Contents
Poem of Hope: “Travel on My Brave Soldier”
Dedicated to Tony Shott, who honorably served in both the United States Marines and Army. A dedicated LCPL in the Marines and a PFC in the Army, Tony’s legacy lives on from December 13, 1982, to December 25, 2013. In loving memory of a cherished son.
Travel On My Brave Soldier
Travel on my brave soldier
Travel on wild one
Take heart winged warrior
Unencumbered take great strides.
Ride dragon’s wings forever
Stay free here evermore
Follow infinity to the heavens
Travel on to safer shores.
That might I find here right behind you
Wings that span the breadth of time,
May I follow without ceasing,
The way you gave your love to life.
Might I hold your hope forever
Where your light will always shine,
Glory be to stars that keep you
The way I kept you when you were mine.
©Beth Brown, 2025
"Travel On My Brave Soldier"
Read more poems here: Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a deeply inspiring collection of poems that explores the journey of love and remembrance following the loss of my son to suicide at the young age of 20 on June 25, 2012. Each poem on love and loss reflects the complexities of a parent’s grief after such a profound loss, revealing the cherished memories and lessons that persist in his absence while celebrating the hope and meaning that can emerge from even the most challenging experiences.
“I Don’t Know Why”
Author: Iris M. Bolton
I don’t know why…
I’ll never know why…
I don’t have to know why…
I don’t like it…
I don’t have to like it…
What I do have to do is make a choice about my living.
What I do want to do is to accept it and go on living.
The choice is mine.
I can go on living, valuing every moment in a way I never did before,
Or I can be destroyed by it and in turn, destroy others.
I thought I was immortal, that my children and my family were also,
That tragedy happened only to others…
But I know now that life is tenuous and valuable.
And I choose to go on living, making the most of the time I have,
Valuing my family and friends in a way I never experienced before.
Iris Bolton is a pioneer in the movement to support suicide loss survivors. Her list of suggestions for “Beyond Surviving” is a classic resource used by suicide loss survivors everywhere. Iris Bolton is the author of My Son, My Son: A Guide to Healing after Death, Loss, or Suicide and Voices of Healing and Hope: Conversations on Grief after Suicide. She is also the co-author, along with her niece, Kit, of The Little Book on Grief – Concerns to Consider.
Honoring Your Grief and Your Child’s Memory
Grief is a natural, necessary response to loss. Honoring your grief and your child’s memory can be a source of comfort and healing.
- Create rituals of remembrance, such as lighting a candle, planting a tree, or keeping a journal.
- Celebrate your child’s life by sharing stories, photos, or favorite memories with others.
- Participate in walks, fundraisers, or advocacy events for suicide prevention and mental health awareness.
- Support others who are grieving, offering understanding and hope.
- Allow yourself to feel joy and hope again, knowing that healing does not diminish your love or your child’s importance.
“Bill of Rights” for Suicide Loss Survivors
By Iris M. Bolton
- I have the right to be free of guilt.
- I have the right not to feel responsible for the suicide death.
- I have the right to express my feelings and emotions, even if they do not seem acceptable, as long as they do not interfere with the rights of others.
- I have the right to have my questions answered honestly by authorities and family members.
- I have the right not to be deceived because others feel they can spare me further grief.
- I have the right to maintain a sense of hopefulness.
- I have the right to peace and dignity
- I have the right to positive feelings about the one I lost through suicide, regardless of the events prior to or at the time of the untimely death.
- I have the right to retain my individuality and not be judged because of the suicide death.
- I have the right to seek counseling and a support group to enable me to honestly explore my feelings, to further the acceptance process.
- I have the right to reach acceptance.
- I have the right to a new beginning.
- I have the right to be.
Iris M. Bolton (reprinted from Suicide and its Aftermath), Survivors of Suicide, “Surviving Your Loss”
“Beyond Surviving – Tips for Survivors”
Know you can survive. You may not think so, but you can. Struggle with “why” it happened until you no longer need to know “why” or until you are satisfied with partial answers. Know you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings but all your feelings are normal.
Anger, guilt, confusion, forgetfulness are common responses. You are not crazy, you are in mourning. Be aware you may feel appropriate anger at the person, at the world, at God, at yourself. It’s OK to express it. You may feel guilty for what you think you did or did not do. Guilt can turn into regret, through forgiveness.
Having suicidal thoughts is common; it does not mean that you will act on them. Remember to take one moment or one hour or one day at a time. Find a good listener with whom to share. Remember the choice was not yours. No one is the sole influence in another’s life. Expect setbacks. If emotions return like a tidal wave, you may only be experiencing a remnant of grief, an unfinished piece.
Try to put off major decisions. Give yourself permission to get professional help. Be aware of the pain of family and friends. Be patient with yourself and with others who may not understand. Set your own limits and learn to say no.
Steer clear of people who want to tell you what or how to feel. Know that there are support groups that can be helpful, such as Compassionate Friends or Survivors of Suicide.Call on your personal faith to help you through. It is common to experience physical reactions to your grief, i.e. headaches, loss of appetite, inability to sleep. The willingness to laugh with others and at yourself is healing. Wear out your questions, anger, guilt or other feelings until you can let them go. Letting go does not mean forgetting!
Know that you will never be the same again, but you can survive and even go beyond just surviving.
Iris M. Bolton (reprinted from Suicide and its Aftermath).
Poem: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”
Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand
That we might understand:
All illness can be fatal.
That we might understand:
“Is suicide a choice?”
Swirls that still yet pervasive,
Stigma of suicide–
That somehow, losing a loved one,
–To suicide–
Can be controlled:
That losing a loved one could have,
Might have been,
Prevented,
Implying, of course,
That we missed something,
A fatal flaw in the way we loved;
That we somehow failed
At what is elemental to all love:
We failed to control death.
Oh that Death Could be Controlled!
That we might live past pain,
Past illness, past affliction, past disease,
Past accidents, past the constructs of the frailty of all life.
That we might understand all illnesses can be fatal.
That we might understand we cannot separate mental illness from physical illness.
That we might acknowledge no matter how great our love,
We cannot see inside another’s pain.
That while advances in medicine, advocacy, and breaking the stigma serve all of us well,
No one of us can escape succumbing
To what we still don’t understand:
Death in itself.
That we might understand:
We do not choose death,
Though death lives inside us all.
Life chooses fight, flight, freeze, fawn; but life does not choose death.
Death creeps in on silent stealth wings,
casting shadows of hope in our darkest despair,
the song of the siren in sweet serenade
meant to harness the instinct,
the will spirited and strong,
to live and to love to keep carrying on.
©Beth Brown, 2025
“Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”
“It Was Not Your Fault”
I hope that someday we will have a better understanding – one that perhaps permits us to give grace to the one who took their life and see it as something that happened to them, rather than something they did to themselves and others.
Anonymous
“It was not your fault” is something many suicide loss survivors need to hear over and over and over again, as is “You are not alone.”
And a suicide loss survivor is not alone, even though it may feel that way when one is grieving; suicide is now the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, and the World Health Organization estimates that one million people take their lives worldwide each year. Often, the greatest gift you can provide to a survivor is your own presence.
But don’t feel afraid to say the name of the person who died, to share your memories of that person, to create space for the survivor to share their own memories, to honor their loved one’s life. Let the grieving person say what they need to say, feel what they need to feel.
By Gayle Brandeis, What to Say (And Not to Say) to Someone Grieving a Suicide, May 8, 2019
Navigating Inappropriate Comments: Essential Tips for Parents
- Know that you will always be your child’s mom or dad. You might wonder, “If I lost my only child, am I still a mother or father?” You raised your child, and can keep your child’s memory alive in meaningful ways, when you are ready. My son’s picture is on a memorial quilt. You can share happy memories of your child with others. Some people find that giving their child’s friends a special item of theirs is meaningful. Many raise awareness and funds through Out of the Darkness Walk teams, or by creating their own events in honor of the people they’ve lost. Whatever feels right to you.
- Many people feel guilty after the loss of a loved one to suicide. You might think, “I should have done more, or done things differently.” Our children did not come with instructions. Know you did the best you could. We would give our own lives to have our children back. It was not within our control. Taking one’s life is not a rational decision.
- Realize your child did not take their life to hurt you. You might feel angry; it’s a common response. Realize your child had tunnel vision in that moment, and just wanted to end their pain.
- Know how to deal with inappropriate questions, like people wanting details about your child’s death. It is none of their business unless they are close to you and you feel like sharing. You can simply say, “I do not want to discuss it.” Or, “This isn’t helping me right now.” You need consoling. You do not need to console others.
Marcia Gelman Resnick, How I Survived the Suicide of My Son: 15 Tips for Grieving Parents,The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
Suicide is Not Cowardly
In his article “Suicide is Not Cowardly,” Robert Gebbia, Chief Executive Officer of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, asserts with conviction that “Suicide is not a choice; it is a critical health issue.”
The excerpt below from “Suicide is Not Cowardly” can be read in its entirety at The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention
Suicide is Not a Choice; Suicide is a Health Issue
…Is suicide a selfish or cowardly act? Is it a choice? But the questions present us with an opportunity to educate the public and shape the discussion about suicide.
Suicide is not a choice. Suicide is a health issue. Suicide can result if a mental illness—like major depression or bipolar disorder—goes untreated, in the same way that a patient can die from pneumonia if they go untreated.
It’s especially important to be mindful of the way we discuss suicide because with mental illness, words matter. Telling a suicidal person that they are being selfish or cowardly does not inspire courage, it could even make them feel worse. It’s important to understand that people who are feeling suicidal do not choose to feel that way; their feelings are a symptom of their mental illness.
Research suggests that those who do attempt suicide are not thinking rationally. For example, one study found that lower levels of serotonin, a key factor in brain function related to behavioral control and decision-making, led to inability to make choices, impulsivity, and lack of flexibility.
Karyn Beal, a member of AFSP’s Loss and Bereavement Council, writes that her daughter, Arlyn, died of Bipolar Disorder. “Her death was the result of a chemical imbalance and the way it controlled her,” Karyn said. “It was not a rational choice.”
Robert Gebbia, Chief Executive Officer, “Suicide is Not Cowardly,” The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Don’t Say It’s Selfish: Suicide Is Not a Choice
In his article, “Don’t Say It’s Selfish: Suicide is Not a Choice, “ John Ackerman, PhD from Nationwide Children’s Hospital asserts “Those who experience the kind of emotional pain associated with suicide do not typically want to die; they wish for an end to unbearable emotional pain and, often, the resources that allow them to hold on aren’t available.”
The excerpt below is from “Don’t Say It’s Selfish: Suicide Is Not a Choice” and can be read in its entirety at Nationwide Children’s Hospital blog.
“Don’t Say It’s Selfish: Suicide Is Not a Choice“
…some people still believe that engaging in suicidal behavior is a personal “choice.” This is often followed by the unfair assumption that “suicide is a selfish choice.”
One might reasonably ask, “Given the unbearable loss and pain felt by those left behind, how can suicide not be considered selfish?”
First, we often underestimate how many factors contribute to an outcome as complex and final as suicide. Those who experience the kind of emotional pain associated with suicide do not typically want to die; they wish for an end to unbearable emotional pain and, often, the resources that allow them to hold on aren’t available. Individuals who struggle with thoughts of suicide usually have a hard time thinking flexibly and their ability to see an end to pain and a life worth living is greatly compromised.
Second, viewing suicide as a choice promotes the misunderstanding that people who engage in suicidal behavior are selfish. Selfishness has been defined by Merriam-Webster as “seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” Suicide does not generate pleasure, advantage or well-being. People who take their own lives commonly feel like a burden to others or experience intense emotional pain that overwhelms their capacity to continue with life. Making others feel guilty is typically the furthest thing from their mind.
Third, a choice usually involves making a selection based on multiple factors or preferences. Sadly, an inability to make rational, life-affirming decisions is a hallmark of suicidal thinking. Intense emotion pain, hopelessness and a narrowed, negative view of the future interferes with balanced decision-making. A person may believe they are making the best decision among their options, but it certainly isn’t reflective of all possible choices. What makes this more challenging is that those choices may not be accessible until the crisis has resolved.
These are some additional variables that impact whether a suicide occurs – little of which have to do with choice:
- Access to highly lethal means during a crisis, such as firearms
- Availability and awareness of crisis supports to delay action – personal and community connections influence whether one has the opportunity to find hope and recovery
Why does reframing suicide as something different from a “choice” matter? It matters because those struggling with thoughts of suicide need all of us to understand that they don’t want to be in a place of overwhelming pain. They would typically rather be alive and living without that pain, and viewing their condition and behaviors as a choice only adds to the burden they already carry.
It takes practice to empathize with someone who feels like death is a better option than life in a given moment. One has to be able to refrain from judgment, understand that suicide is not a personal weakness or someone’s “fault,” and recognize that suicide is often a product of mental health and environmental variables that we don’t fully comprehend.
It can be hard for us to approach such extreme pain with a sense of compassion and curiosity. We would rather rely on simple explanations like “if we had just done this,” “if the parents had done a better job,” or “if he or she didn’t get bullied.” Suicide is nearly always more complex than that, but because answers are elusive and the trauma and loss remain for many years, we look for clarity.
Stigma and discrimination make it less likely that those who stand to benefit from mental health treatment receive it. Too many people blame themselves for feeling depressed or like life is no longer worth living – they struggle to live rich and meaningful lives because of it.
We need to reduce, not increase, the burden on those who struggle with thoughts of suicide. Breaking down stigma is a key to opening conversations, getting help and emerging from those struggles.
John Ackerman, PhD, Center for Suicide Prevention and Research, “Don’t Say It’s Selfish: Suicide Is Not a Choice,” Nationwide Children’s Hospital, Feb 15, 2024.
Understanding the Connection Between Depression and Suicide Risk
Suicide Has a Strong Association with Depression
Over 50 percent of all people who die by suicide suffer from major depression. If one includes alcoholics who are depressed, this figure rises to over 75%.The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Suicide is a complex multifactorial phenomenon. Up to 60% of people who [die by] suicide have a major depressive disorder (MDD) [1], and depressive patients have suicide mortality about 20 times higher than that of the general population [2]. Moreover, in patients with treatment-resistant depression (TRD), the suicide attempt (SA) was sevenfold higher compared to those with non-TRD patients [3,4,5], suggesting that suicide has a strong association with depression.
Ren, Y., Li, M., Yang, C. et al. “Suicidal risk is associated with hyper-connections in the frontal-parietal network in patients with depression.” Transl Psychiatry 15, 49 (2025).
Debunking Suicide Myths
- Those who talk about suicide are not at risk of suicide.
- All suicidal people are depressed or mentally ill.
- Suicide occurs without warning.
- Asking about suicide “plants” the idea in someone’s head.
- Suicidal people clearly want to die
- When someone becomes suicidal they will always remain suicidal.
- Suicide is inherited.
- Suicidal behaviour is motivated by attention-seeking.
- Suicide is caused by a single factor.
- Suicide cannot be prevented.
- Only people of a particular social class die by suicide
- Improvement in emotional state means lessened suicide risk
- Thinking about suicide is rare.
- People who attempt suicide by a low-lethality means are not serious about killing themselves.
Youtube Video: When It Is Darkest: Making Sense of Suicide, Rory O’Connor YoutubeBook: Rory O’Connor’s When It is Darkest: Why People Die by Suicide and What We Can Do to Prevent It, published 2021
Get Help Now
If you are having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. (Or 1-800-273-8255 (TALK). The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. Find more information about the Lifeline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
You can find a list of additional resources at The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
From Shattered Hearts to Quiet Hope: Poems and Reflections for Parents of Suicide Loss
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
If you are reading this, you know the unique and overwhelming grief of losing a child to suicide. This collection is for you—a place to find words and images that honor your pain, offer comfort, and gently invite hope.
Curated by Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide, these poems and reflections move through the rawness of early trauma, the depths of acute grief, and the slow journey toward healing, even thirteen years later. Each post pairs heartfelt writing with stunning garden photography, inspired by Beth’s own search for solace in nature’s resilience.
Hope can be quiet—listen for it in moments of rest.
You are invited to explore at your own pace. Choose what resonates—whether it’s a poem that mirrors your sorrow, a reflection that offers comfort, or an image that whispers hope. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.
Contemplation Prompt:
Pause with a garden image. What does it say to you about survival, growth, or hope?
About the Author, Beth Brown: Writing My Way Through Grief
The love you shared endures beyond loss.
This collection is lovingly curated by Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. Over thirteen years, Beth’s journey through the depths of grief has been shaped by poetry, reflection, and the healing presence of her gardens. Through My Forever Son, she shares how nature’s resilience and beauty offer moments of solace and hope, even in the face of unimaginable loss.
Explore These Poems and Reflections at Your Own Pace
You are invited to explore these poems and reflections at your own pace. Each post pairs heartfelt words with stunning garden photography, offering comfort, understanding, and gentle encouragement for wherever you are in your grief. Select what speaks to you—let these pages be a companion on your path toward healing. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.
Journaling Prompt:
What memories of your child bring both tears and warmth? Write a few lines, letting your heart speak freely.
You are not alone. Healing is a journey, and hope can bloom—even here.
Message of Hope:
Even in the darkest seasons, a single flower can remind us that beauty and life persist. Let these poems be gentle companions as you move through your grief.
FIND HOPE HERE: POEMS AND POETIC REFLECTIONS ON GRIEF AND HEALING
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“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”: Poem on Guilt in Grief
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Read MoreAbout My Forever Son
What Happened? The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief
I started this blog, My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide in 2015, three years into my journey of grief. You can read more about what happened here: The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief recounts the author’s harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Her story highlights her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing, especially through works like the “If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)” poem: reflections on love and loss. The blog “My Forever Son” came about as a way for the author to work through this devastating grief that follows the loss of a child to suicide. My Forever Son blog serves as a platform for sharing experiences and finding healing and solace in community.
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing offers a heartfelt collection of poems that deeply resonate with the profound sorrow of parents who have experienced the unimaginable pain of losing a child to suicide. These poignant verses navigate the intense emotions of this tragic loss, beautifully capturing the stages of grief while gently guiding readers towards hope and healing on their journey through grief.
The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience
The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience, explores the author’s journey of grief through the metaphor of a Magnolia tree’s cyclical seasons. The author uses photography to illustrate the parallels between nature’s cycles and the seasons of grief, finding hope and healing in writing, gardening, and nature’s resilience. The Magnolia tree’s resilience symbolizes renewal and the possibility of finding joy again despite profound heartbreak. After reflections on nature’s resilience, the author reflects on grief and healing (echoes of joy and shadows of loss) after losing her son to suicide.
Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources
Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources offers an extensive collection of resources aimed at helping parents understand the complexities of suicide to help with their profound grief. This invaluable guide not only provides insights but also connects parents with supportive communities, fostering a sense of belonging and emphasizing gentle pathways to hope and healing during such a heartbreaking time.
Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide
Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide offers a gentle and understanding perspective on the complex emotions that emerge after the devastating loss of a loved one through suicide, particularly from the vantage point of parents.This guide thoughtfully addresses the overwhelming and often contradictory feelings of grief, guilt, and sorrow that can envelop parents navigating such profound heartache.
Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents
Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Guide for Parents gently supports parents navigating the profound sorrow of losing a child to suicide. This heartfelt article acknowledges the intense grief that such a tragedy brings and offers compassionate guidance on finding a way forward. The healing strategies shared emphasize self-care and the importance of seeking professional help, while inviting parents to connect with others who understand their pain.
Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss
I have shared my grief journey on this blog, My Forever Son, reflecting on those painful early years and sharing glimmers of hope along the way. Through sleepless nights and tears, I found that my deep love for my son sustains me through his absence.
Carrying both ache and love after losing my son to suicide has been the crux of my grief journey these past 12 years. I share insights into healing from deep grief in the article, Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief in Suicide Loss, where ache for his absence and love for my son walk together in my heart. Holding hands, one is never without the other, but ache and love have carried me—and carry me still.
When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”
When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,”explores the complexities of suicide and includes a compassionate treatise written by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” challenging the notion that it is a choice. The treatise, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” emphasizes the inevitability of death, regardless of the cause, and the limitations of love in preventing it. The author of the treatise “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand” and this article, “When Love Isn’t Enough,” Beth Brown shares her personal journey of grief after losing her son to suicide, finding solace in writing and nature photography.
Meet Dylan, My Forever Son
Twenty Years of Love: Dylan
“Twenty Years of Love: Dylan” offers a poignant exploration of grief and loss, weaving together cherished memories and reflections on Dylan’s life. The emotional resonance of this piece is deeply felt, beautifully portraying both the love and sorrow that the author carries in their heart. The thoughtful inclusion of links to further readings about Dylan and resources for support is a compassionate touch that adds immense value to those who may be navigating similar journeys.
Walking Through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide
Walking through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide offers a deeply moving and heartfelt narrative that illuminates the unimaginable pain of losing a child to suicide. The personal stories shared create a sincere and unfiltered glimpse into the heavy journey of grief and the gradual path toward healing. Through poignant reflections and a poetic exploration on grief, the author navigates the chaotic emotions that accompany such a catastrophic event, revealing both the struggles and the moments of unexpected solace that can emerge even in the darkest times.
I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son
I Want It All Back: Remembering Dylan, My Forever Son lovingly encapsulates the profound heartache and cherished memories tied to the author’s beloved son, Dylan. Through heartfelt imagery and poignant personal stories, it invites readers to share in an emotional journey that resonates deeply, fostering a compassionate understanding of loss and love.
I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide
I Want to Believe: Searching for Hope After Losing My Son to Suicide is a heartfelt collection of personal reflections and cherished memories that navigates the profound journey of grief and hope following the heartbreaking loss of a son to suicide. The rawness of the emotions is deeply felt, drawing readers into a shared space of empathy. Through vivid descriptions and nostalgic elements, the work evokes a sense of connection and understanding, while the stunning images inspire hope and healing amidst the sorrow.
Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts
Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered in Our Hearts invites readers into the heart/h-wrenching yet beautifully profound journey of a mother’s grief after the devastating loss of her beloved 20-year-old son, Dylan, who tragically died by suicide. Through a heartfelt collection of original poems and personal reflections, she courageously shares the painful complexities of her sorrow, the small moments of hope that emerged, and her ongoing path toward healing.
Heartfelt Stories and Poems of Love and Loss
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide delves into the deep, heart-wrenching sorrow of losing a child to suicide. This poignant piece not only articulates the immense pain of such a loss but also provides vital resources to navigate the challenging journey of grief. With tender personal reflections and thoughtful coping strategies, the post and poem, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” serves as a compassionate companion for those who are enduring similar heartaches.
A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table
A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table chronicles a family’s journey through the loss of their beloved son, Dylan. This tragedy alters their connections, turning a joyful gathering space into one of reflection. The narrative captures the struggle between despair and acceptance, underscoring love’s enduring power amidst heartache. In honoring Dylan’s memory, they find unexpected joy in their grief, illustrating the resilience of the human spirit in the face of loss.
Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide
Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide gently delves into the profound and heart-wrenching sorrow experienced by grandparents who endure the unimaginable loss of their grandchild. This painful journey envelops them in a dual mourning, as they grieve not only the precious life that is gone but also the shattered dreams and cherished memories that will sorrowfully remain unrealized for their own child, the grieving parent.
Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy
Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unbearable Tragedy beautifully captures the deep sorrow and unwavering love a mother feels for her son. The author bravely shares her heartfelt journey, navigating the immense pain and heartbreak tied to her son’s fourth suicide attempt on Memorial Day. Through her poignant narrative, she reveals the complex layers of a mother’s grief, intricately woven with fleeting moments of hope that resonate powerfully with anyone who is facing loss.
“Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay”: A Poem on Suicide Loss
“Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay” A Poem on Suicide Loss explores the profound sorrow a parent endures after losing a child to suicide. It addresses themes of grief and guilt, highlighting the heavy shadow such a tragedy casts on life. This poignant narrative captures a parent’s transformative journey in the wake of their child’s absence, revealing emotions of shame while confronting societal stigma surrounding suicide. With compassion and insight, the poem resonates with anyone who has faced similar heart-wrenching experiences.
11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe
11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe powerfully conveys the depths of my unyielding grief and a relentless yearning for my beloved son, Dylan, whose vibrant spirit was tragically stolen by suicide eleven heart-wrenching years ago at merely twenty. As my only child, his absence has carved an immense void in my soul, reshaping every facet of my life while perpetually stirring the cherished memories of the beautiful moments we once savored together.
A Note from the Author: Writing My Way Through Grief to Find Hope and Healing
Snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections
Three years into my grief, I began writing journal entries. Short. A few feelings. About my day and where I was in my grief journey. Then slowly, snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections. Words shaped the deep feelings and emotional longing in my heart, and as I continued writing, I began to find small glimpses of hope in unexpected ways.
Photographing my gardens garnered a way to coalesce all the many feelings and words I’d been unable to express. And the more I photographed through the seasons, the more glimmers of hope I found along the way.
My journals, both written reflections of my grief and artistic expressions of my grief, hope, and healing, eventually included original poems that emerged from my writing.
Many of my poems tell narratives I remember from my son’s childhood. This is significant–reconstructing the narrative of our lives during his growing-up years brings release for all the love and beautiful memories before the trauma of losing him. Writing these poems and narratives, these poetic reflections on love and loss, have helped me learn to carry love and ache together.
Still I write. Still I heal. Still I miss my son. But I also find glimpses of hope in my life. “Matins,” written by John O’Donohue, reflects how I’ve found my way forward after losing my son to suicide. Hope comes in the moments when I find solace in the mindfulness of my day. A cup of tea. A walk in nature. My cat curled up beside me as I write. Over time, these moments have grown to include parts of my life I used to enjoy, though lost to me completely in my first few years of early grief. The joy of spring flowers. A pink and peach sky at sunrise. The way colorful leaves crunch under my feet in fall.
Professional Resources
Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.
Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.
HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.
Resources and Support Groups
Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
http://www.pos-ffos.com
This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
https://www.taps.org/suicide
This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.
United Survivors
https://unitesurvivors.org/
This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.
Professional Organizations
American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.
The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.
Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.
LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.
Online resources
Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.
Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.
Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.
SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.
Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.
Finding professional care and support
Find a mental health provider
- afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
- findtreatment.samhsa.gov
- mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
- inclusivetherapists.com
- afsp.org/suicide-bereavement-trained-clinicians
Find a provider for prolonged grief
Find additional resources for marginalized communities
Crisis Services
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.
Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.
Parents of Suicides: An Online Support Group for Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide
Suicide is the anchor point on a continuum of suicidal thoughts & behaviors. This continuum is one that ranges from risk-taking behaviors at one end, extends through different degrees & types of suicidal thinking, & ends with suicide attempts and suicide.
Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, National Library of Medicine
Parents of Suicides is a dedicated international online closed email group where parents who have lost a child to suicide come together to offer support, hope, and healing. Join a Community of Understanding. Parents of Suicides (PoS) provides a safe space for sharing experiences, coping mechanisms, and emotional support. You are not alone in this journey. Together, we can find strength and solace.
Support and Resources for Grieving Parents of Suicide Loss
Support Groups
- Alliance for Hope for suicide loss survivors – https://forum.allianceofhope.org/forums/-/list
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention – https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group
- American Society of Suicidology – https://suicidology.org/resources/suicide-loss-survivors/
- British Columbia Bereavement Helpline, Suicide Grief Support – https://bcbh.ca/grief-support/suicide-grief-support/
- Coalition of Clinician-Survivors – https://www.cliniciansurvivor.org/#
- Community Support After Suicide (Peachtree Comprehensive Health) – https://www.pchprofessionals.com/community-support-after-suicide
- Compassionate Friends Loss to Suicide group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/tcflosstosuicide
- Emotions Matter Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Loss Group – https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/bpd-loss-group (note that not all losses are suicide, though many are. All losses have a connection to BPD.)
- Friends and Families of Suicide (FFOS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/ffos.htm
- Friends for Survival – https://friendsforsurvival.org/
- Heartbeat: Grief Support Following Suicide – https://www.heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org/services
- Helping Parents Heal: Special Interest Group -Moving Forward After Suicide – https://www.helpingparentsheal.org/affiliate-groups/special-interest-groups/ (note that Helping Parents Heal “goes a step beyond other groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and afterlife evidence—in a non-dogmatic way. HPH affiliate groups welcome everyone regardless of religious or non-religious background and encourage open dialog.”)
- Long Island Survivors of Suicide – https://lisos.org/
- The Lounge – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/about-4
- Parents of Suicide (POS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/pos.htm
- Sail to Heal – https://www.sail2heal.org/
- Smile through the Storms – https://www.smilethroughthestorms.com/
- Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE) – https://save.org/save-support-groups/
- Working on My Grief – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/
Books for Understanding Suicide And Mental Health
An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1995. In this memoir, an international authority on Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder describes her own struggle since adolescence with the disorder, and how it has shaped her life.
Darkness Visible
William Styron, Random House, 1990. A powerful and moving first-hand account of what depression feels like to the sufferer.
Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope with the Death of a Child to Suicide or Drugs
William Feigelman, Ph.D., John Jordan, Ph.D., John McIntosh, Ph.D., Beverly Feigelman, LCSW, Springer Publishing, 2012. This book provides useful avenues for future research on suicide loss and offers new insights into the grief process that follows the death of a child, both in the short term and years after a loss. Please note that, given its academic tone, the book is better suited to clinicians and educators than to recently bereaved lay readers.
Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1999. Kay Redfield Jamison’s in-depth psychological and scientific exploration of suicide traces the network of reasons underlying suicide, including the factors that interact to cause suicide, and outlines the evolving treatments available through modern medicine.
The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
Andrew Solomon, Scribner, 2001.Winner of the National Book Award, this book shares the author’s story of chronic depression, and places depression in a broader social context.
Why People Die by Suicide
Thomas Joiner, Ph.D., Harvard University Press, 2005.
Drawing on extensive clinical and epidemiological evidence, as well as personal experience, the author, who lost his father to suicide, identifies three factors that mark those most at risk of considering, attempting, or dying by suicide.
Recommended Reading
Book Recommendation: ‘A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief’ by Jeffrey Jackson, providing support for survivors of suicide loss, My Forever Son
Books
- Beal, Karyl Chastain (2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018). Faces of Suicide, Volumes One to Five.
- Brown, Beth (2023) Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
- Cacciatore, Joanne (2017). Bearing the Unbearable. Wisdom Publications.
- Clark, Ann (2020). Gone to Suicide. A mom’s truth on heartbreak, transformation and prevention. Iuniverse.
- Collins, Eileen Vorbach (2023). Love in the Archives. a patchwork of true stories about suicide loss. Apprentice House Press.
- Cross, Tracey (2013). Suicide among gifted children and adolescents. Understanding the suicidal mind. Prufrock Press.
- Dougy Center, The (2001). After a Suicide: An Activity Book for Grieving Kids. Dougy Center.
- Estes, Clarissa Pinkola (1988). The Faithful Gardener. HarperCollinsSanFrancisco.
- Fine, Carla (1997). No Time to Say Goodbye. Surviving the suicide of a loved one. Broadway Books.
- Heilmann, Lena M.Q. (2019). Still with Us. Voices of Sibling Suicide Loss Survivors. BDI Publishers.
- Hickman, Martha Whitmore (1994). Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. William Morrow Paperbacks
- Jamison, Kay Redfield (2000). Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. Vintage.
- Johnson, Julie Tallard (1994). Hidden Victims, Hidden Healers. An eight-stage healing process for families and friends of the mentally ill. Pema Publications.
- Joiner, Thomas (2005). Why People Die by Suicide. Harvard University Press
- Joiner, Thomas (2010). Myths About Suicide. Harvard University Press.
- Kushner, Harold S. (2004). When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Anchor Books
- O’Connor, Mary-Francis (2022). The Grieving Brain. HarperOne.
- Rasmussen, Christina (2019). Second Firsts. Hay House Inc.
- Shapiro, Larry (2020). Brain Pain. Giving insight to children who have lost a family member or a loved one to suicide. Safe Haven Books.
- Wickersham, Julie (2009). The Suicide Index: Putting My Father’s Death in Order. Mariner Books.
Therapies
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) – https://dbt-lbc.org/index.php
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – https://www.emdria.org/
- Prolonged Exposure (PE) – https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/prolonged-exposure
Memorial Sites
- Faces of Suicide – memorial site for those who died by suicide – https://www.facesofsuicide.com/
- Suicide Memorial Wall – tribute site for those who died by suicide – https://www.suicidememorialwall.com/
ESSENTIAL READS FOR UNDERSTANDING SUICIDE
Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters
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Breaking the Stigma: Facts About Suicide and Compassion
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Understanding Prolonged Grief Disorder After Suicide
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Understanding Suicide: Grief and Healing Insights
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Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide
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A Decade After Suicide Loss: Reflections on Longterm Grief
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Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief After Suicide Loss
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From Sorrow to Joy: How Pain Colors Loss in Grief
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Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice
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Read MoreFinding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing
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Finding Hope, Healing, and Resilience in Nature
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Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss
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Dylan’s Story: Suicide Warning Signs for College Parents
Dylan’s Story: Suicide Warning Signs for College Parents Summary Dylan’s Story: Suicide Warning Signs for College Parents provides a poignant personal story intertwined with expert advice on identifying warning signs of suicide in college students, Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students, with 10% contemplating suicide annually. Warning signs include overt…
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3 replies on ““Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope”
[…] Travel On My Brave Soldier-A Poem of Hope […]
[…] Travel On My Brave Soldier-A Poem of Hope […]
[…] Travel On My Brave Soldier-A Poem of Hope […]