
Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss
Summary
“Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss” reflects on the author’s journey through grief three years after losing a child to suicide. The author expresses deep emotions, including sorrow, anger, and guilt, emphasizing the ongoing process of acceptance and peace. The narrative highlights the enduring love for her son, illustrating how grief evolves but never fully disappears.
Key Takeaways
- Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss reflects on three years of navigating life after the loss of a child to suicide.
- The author expresses deep emotions, including sorrow, anger, and guilt, emphasizing the journey towards acceptance and peace.
- Quiet tears symbolize enduring love, illustrating that grief evolves but never fully disappears over time.
- Coping with grief includes reaching out for support and embracing feelings, marking growth in the healing process.
- Resources for those experiencing similar loss include a handbook, podcasts, and supportive organizations.
Introduction
Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss is a poignant reflection on navigating life after unimaginable loss. It takes readers on an emotional journey, highlighting the quiet moments of sorrow that linger long after others have moved on.
Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss explores the overwhelming emotions of sorrow, anger, guilt, and confusion that resurface during this time, especially for parents mourning a child lost to suicide. Through heartfelt anecdotes, the author showcases the balance between mourning and cherishing memories, weaving joyful moments with reflections on profound absence.
Ultimately, Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss serves as a reminder of enduring love amid pain, illustrating the hopeful process of finding peace and understanding. Readers are encouraged to embrace their feelings and reflect on their own experiences of loss, finding strength in the collective journey of healing.
Related Reads
My Forever Son

My Forever Son explores the profound grief, hope, and healing that follow the tragedy of losing a child to suicide.
My Forever Son dovetails the author’s journey of descending into deep grief, searching for hope, and finding healing along the way.
Table of Contents

Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss
Healing Grief Means Letting the Tears Come
For 2 years, infinite tears have flooded my all.
Sometimes my days echo nothing but reliving the day of Dylan’s death. On these days, I awaken deeply disturbed, oftentimes in tears.
I don’t want to get up on these days. I just lie there in bed, turn sideways, bury my head and face deeply into my pillow, and just let the tears come.

Healing Grief in Year 3: Quiet Tears of Acceptance
Anymore, they’re oftentimes quiet, whimpering sobs, quiet, resolved tears. Tears that reflect the cold truth that Dylan died. But tears still (and always) that pour forth the depths of my love for my son. Quiet tears at 3 years.
Tears that reflect the cold truth that Dylan died. But tears still (and always) that pour forth the depths of my love for my son. Quiet tears at 3 years.

Navigating Grief: Reflections Three Years After Losing My Son to Suicide
Introduction
Navigating Grief: Reflections Three Years After Losing My Son to Suicide is a deeply heartfelt collection of five poignant blog posts that chronicles my emotional journey through the third year following the tragic loss of my only son, Dylan, to suicide on June 25, 2012. This intimate compilation offers reflections and valuable resources that document a parent’s harrowing experience with overwhelming grief.
This heartfelt collection of blog posts from year three of my grief offers a profound exploration of sorrow and the healing journey, illuminating stories of love, remembrance, and a connection that transcends the boundaries of death. By sharing both the struggles and transformative experiences, this blog, My Forever Son, aspires to provide solace, practical insights, and a glimmer of hope to those navigating the intricate complexities of grief.
Navigating Grief: Reflections Three Years After Losing My Son to Suicide powerfully captures the intricate emotions of grief and the slow journey toward healing. During this early phase of grieving, I expressed the profound feelings I endured, alongside the challenging changes I encountered as I learned to navigate life without my cherished son. The three-year mark became a pivotal moment in my grief journey as I slowly began to reclaim my life.
My Journals: A Journey Through Sorrow and Unexpected Hope
During this tumultuous time of trying to regain order in my life after the loss of my son to suicide, I grappled with deep grief and confusion. My journals recorded not only my sorrow but also unexpected moments of joy as I navigated a world that felt forever changed.
I reflected on cherished memories, revisiting the laughter and love we shared, despite the profound emptiness my son’s absence left behind. Writing became a means to navigate my emotions and begin to heal amidst enduring heartbreak.
Related Reads

Healing Grief: 3 Years After Losing My Son
Healing Grief: 3 Years After Losing My Son is a profoundly touching reflection on the author’s heartfelt journey through the complexities of grief, hope, and healing, marking three long years since the devastating loss of her only child, her son Dylan, to suicide.
The thoughtfully selected images, many capturing the beauty of the author’s gardens, provide a poignant backdrop that deepens the emotional resonance of her words, inviting readers to connect with their own experiences of sorrow and healing.
Related Reads

Healing After Loss: 3 Years of Grieving My Son
Healing After Loss: 3 Years of Grieving My Son is another poignant post that comes from the pages of the author’s journals in the third year after losing her son to suicide.
In this heartfelt post, the author shares her most intimate thoughts and reflections, revealing the profound impact of her loss and the journey towards finding solace. Each entry is a testament to her resilience, capturing the raw emotions of grief, the struggle for acceptance, and the moments of unexpected joy that arise amidst the sorrow after 3 years of losing my son.
Related Reads

Living Backwards Going Forward-A Grief Journey in Year 3: Reflections from a Mother’s Heart
Living Backwards Going Forward-A Grief Journey in Year 3 compassionately delves into another of the author’s journals during the third year of her grief journey, where she encountered a haunting “sense of the surreal” after the loss of her son to suicide..
Each day felt trapped in the echo of her son’s memorial date, as cherished memories flooded her heart, prompting deep reflections on her parenting while navigating the relentless waves of sorrow.
Related Reads

Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss
Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss offers a heartfelt exploration of the profound and painful journey through grief following the heartbreaking loss of my son to suicide.
The author poignantly shares her deeply personal experiences of navigating this overwhelming sorrow, using writing, gardening, and cherishing memories as powerful tools for healing. Through her words in this journal entry, she connects with others who may share similar feelings, creating a comforting space for understanding and empathy.
Related Reads

“I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing”: A Grief Journey
“I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing”: A Journey Through Grief offers a heartfelt glimpse into the author’s journals from her third year of navigating grief after the profound loss of her son to suicide, articulating the raw and poignant emotional experiences that accompany the path to healing.
Additional resources on the third year of grief enrich this exploration, providing valuable reflections on this challenging journey and the complexities of healing during such a difficult time.
Related Reads

Author’s Note: A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son
Twelve years ago, I lost my 20-year-old son, Dylan, to suicide, a heartbreaking event that shattered my world and plunged me into a dark period of grief.
During those long months, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and thoughts, questioning everything around me and struggling to make sense of what will never make sense. I entered into a deep grief filled with solitude and despair, a darkness so bleak I questioned ever being able to see light again.
In the beginning, I had no words. No voice. No ability to express the grief I was feeling.
My words were lost in torrents of tears, in stark contrast to the vibrant discussions I used to lead in my college composition and literature classes.
Perhaps it’s important to preface that I was teaching college composition and literature when I lost my son to suicide, a tragedy that shattered all of me. The irony of discussing the complexities of human emotion with my students while grappling with my own profound sorrow was not lost on me.
Each day, I faced the challenge of maintaining my professional facade, all the while battling an internal tempest that seemed insurmountable, wondering how to bridge the chasm between my role as an educator and the personal devastation I was enduring.

My Life Before Losing My Son
Books, lectures, teaching—I once felt empowered by my voice, a resonant tool for sharing ideas and knowledge. It was a time when I believed in the strength of my words and the influence they carried, inspiring others to think deeply and engage in meaningful conversations.
I reveled in the connections I forged through sharing my thoughts, feeling a sense of purpose in my contributions to the world. But when Dylan died by suicide, I felt consumed by my grief. My heart collapsed inward in sharp pain, I retreated from the outside world, and my words eluded me.
Teaching was impossible. Losing Dylan shattered my life, leaving me, on the outside at least, grappling with an overwhelming silence that echoed louder than any lecture or written page.
On the inside, I was screaming sounds I did not recognize as my own.
The Depth of My Loss Brought My Life to a Standstill
The vibrant energy that once fueled my passion for writing vanquished, and I found myself questioning everything without being able to lend voice to the confusion and overwhelming feelings I was moving through in my grief.
The depth of my loss silenced the joy I once derived from sharing my thoughts and connecting with others.
All of my life came to a standstill as I entered a place of deep grief. It is only in retrospect and in these twelve years past my son’s suicide that I see how all-consuming my grief was.
Diminishing the confidence that fuels expression, my grief stifled my voice completely. It’s been a difficult battle to reclaim my sense of self amidst such sorrow.
A Poetic Quest for Self-Forgiveness and Healing
Journaling was awkward. I couldn’t put all the pain I was feeling into words that did justice to the enormity of my heartbreak. But I kept writing. Slowly, in keeping a record of my grief, I realized I was creating a poetic journey about losing a child to suicide.

“Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing”
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems and reflections by Beth Brown, the compassionate voice behind the My Forever Son blog. This poignant work navigates the deep, overwhelming sorrow that accompanies the tragic loss of a child to suicide. In her writing, Brown bravely shares her personal journey through grief, revealing how the act of writing poetry and connecting with the beauty of nature became vital sources of comfort and healing for her in the midst of such profound pain.
Through the author’s heartfelt verses, she reaches out with warmth and understanding to those who are journeying through their own sorrows. With her enchanting photography of the trees, shrubs, and flowers that grace her gardens throughout the seasons, Brown lovingly shares a beacon of hope, brightly illuminating the shadows cast by grief.
On Finding Hope: Photographing My Gardens Brings Healing
In nature, I find calm in the wake of profound sorrow and healing in the cycling of the seasons. Predictable. Beautiful in the spring, promising renewal after a long winter’s rest. Brilliant hues in the summer months. Autumn bringing trees and shrubs bejeweled in vivid reds, oranges, and reds. And then the stillness and monochromatic sketch of what can be a too long winter’s sleep.
Winter Wonderland: Captivating Photos in My Gardens













A Long Winter’s Rest for Trees, Shrubs, and Flowers
This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken.
This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken. An empty landscape. Gray skies for months. A blanket of snow in white, though only the stark limbs of trees and shrubs. At times, though, red berries appear on some shrubs, supplying food for birds and wildlife. All this to say I can’t see life against this wintry scene.
But in photographing nature through the seasons, I began to see (again), the brilliance of a long winter’s rest for trees, shrubs, and flowers. To study nature and botany is to realize that what appears lifeless is actually the process of life within all of nature renewing itself. Trusting in what I cannot see brings hope and healing.
Spring Brings Hope: Photographs of My Gardens














Spring Brings Beauty and Hope
Even against the cold remnants of a long winter–scattered clumps of snow, a robin redbreast plumped out to keep itself warm against a late March frost, brown dried leaves with nary a sign of color anywhere, spring breaks through. At first just small bits of color. A hint of purple as crocus push through thawing ground, then the vivid yellows of daffodils leaning towards the sun and the suddenness of blue bells. Rhododendron yawns and stretches its lavender limbs to awaken azalea, still sleepy with snow though greening beneath it all.
What seems forever gone in the gray doldrums of winter arrives with an abundance of joy come spring.
Writing My Way Through Grief to Find Hope and Healing
Snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections
Three years into my grief, I began writing journal entries. Short. A few feelings. About my day and where I was in my grief journey. Then slowly, snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections. Words shaped the deep feelings and emotional longing in my heart, and as I continued writing, I began to find small glimpses of hope in unexpected ways.
Photographing my gardens garnered a way to coalesce all the many feelings and words I’d been unable to express. And the more I photographed through the seasons, the more glimmers of hope I found along the way.
Each poignant poem in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a dedicated blog post in its own right, replete with the inspiration behind the poem.
The poems included in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing appear below. Each poem is a blog post in its own right, oftentimes replete with the inspiration behind the poem.
Each poem moves the reader through the profound emotions of grief and healing after losing a child.
Many of the poems tell narratives I remember from my son’s childhood. This is significant–reconstructing the narrative of our lives during his growing-up years brings release for all the love and beautiful memories before the trauma of losing him. Writing these poems and narratives, these poetic reflections on love and loss, have helped me learn to carry love and ache together.
Still I write. Still I heal. Still I miss my son.
From Shattered Hearts to Quiet Hope: Poems and Reflections for Parents of Suicide Loss
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
If you are reading this, you know the unique and overwhelming grief of losing a child to suicide. This collection is for you—a place to find words and images that honor your pain, offer comfort, and gently invite hope.
Curated by Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide, these poems and reflections move through the rawness of early trauma, the depths of acute grief, and the slow journey toward healing, even thirteen years later. Each post pairs heartfelt writing with stunning garden photography, inspired by Beth’s own search for solace in nature’s resilience.
Hope can be quiet—listen for it in moments of rest.
You are invited to explore at your own pace. Choose what resonates—whether it’s a poem that mirrors your sorrow, a reflection that offers comfort, or an image that whispers hope. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.
Contemplation Prompt:
Pause with a garden image. What does it say to you about survival, growth, or hope?
About the Author, Beth Brown: Writing My Way Through Grief
The love you shared endures beyond loss.
This collection is lovingly curated by Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. Over thirteen years, Beth’s journey through the depths of grief has been shaped by poetry, reflection, and the healing presence of her gardens. Through My Forever Son, she shares how nature’s resilience and beauty offer moments of solace and hope, even in the face of unimaginable loss.
Explore These Poems and Reflections at Your Own Pace
You are invited to explore these poems and reflections at your own pace. Each post pairs heartfelt words with stunning garden photography, offering comfort, understanding, and gentle encouragement for wherever you are in your grief. Select what speaks to you—let these pages be a companion on your path toward healing. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.
Journaling Prompt:
What memories of your child bring both tears and warmth? Write a few lines, letting your heart speak freely.
You are not alone. Healing is a journey, and hope can bloom—even here.
Message of Hope:
Even in the darkest seasons, a single flower can remind us that beauty and life persist. Let these poems be gentle companions as you move through your grief.
FIND HOPE HERE: POEMS AND POETIC REFLECTIONS ON GRIEF AND HEALING
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide
“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on the Devastating Loss of a Child to Suicide Summary The poem “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” in the post, “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: A Poem on Grieving a Child’s Suicide explores the profound grief of losing a child to suicide. The author, Beth…
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Read MoreThe Emotional Depth of ‘Beat Still My Heart’: A Powerful Elegy
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Read MoreFind Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing Summary Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems on love and loss that tenderly explores the profound pain of losing a child to suicide. The author, Beth Brown, shares her deeply personal journey through grief, illustrating how she…
Read More“Bury My Heart”: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss
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Read More“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”: Poem on Guilt in Grief
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Read MoreDerecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere – Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon”
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Read MoreEmbracing Grief: A Mother’s Poetic Journey
From journaling to discovering the poetic language that encapsulates my grief, I penned my path to healing, culminating in the creation of my book, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide.
The anthology of poems in this book provides a profound and moving examination of grief, intricately intertwining original verses that delve into themes of loss, guilt, hope, self-forgiveness, and the path to healing. Expertly curated, the arrangement of poems invites deep reflection, serving as a treasured companion for those in search of solace and connection during difficult times.
Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.
Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.
HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.
Resources and Support Groups
Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
http://www.pos-ffos.com
This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
https://www.taps.org/suicide
This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.
United Survivors
https://unitesurvivors.org/
This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.
Professional Organizations
American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.
The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.
Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.
LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.
Online resources
Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.
Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.
Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.
SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.
Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.
Finding professional care and support
Find a mental health provider
- afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
- findtreatment.samhsa.gov
- mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
- inclusivetherapists.com
- afsp.org/suicide-bereavement-trained-clinicians
Find a provider for prolonged grief
Find additional resources for marginalized communities
Crisis Services
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.
Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.

Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss: Will the Pain Ever Go Away?
“How long will it take to get over this?” you may ask yourself. The truth is that you will never “get over” it, but don’t let that thought discourage you. . .Your hope lies in getting through it, putting your loss in its proper perspective, and accepting your life as it now lies before you, forever changed. If you can do that, the peace you seek will follow.
Jeffrey Jackson, SOS: A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide, American Association of Suicidology
My Days Are No Longer Drowning in Constant Sorrow
When Dylan died by suicide 3 years ago, it was like this every day. My days were drowned in sorrow. Constant sorrow.
I would dream constantly of Dylan in early grief in always on repeat, horrific scenarios
I never found relief until falling asleep, and then I would dream about Dylan, his beautiful face, my boy through the years, seemingly normal, then the abrupt interruption mid-dream of the horrific reality that he was either (1) going to die, in which case I would awaken abruptly, startled, terrified, coming to, and in a millisecond, realize Oh My God! Dylan is dead. Or (2) that Dylan is dead, in which case I awaken horrified, sleepless, sad, and desperate.
Sometimes now I have a third version of this dream: I dream Dylan is in danger. My heart quickens. Fear rises. I scream “DYLAN!” and it’s always, always too late. Dylan dies because I couldn’t save him.
The tidal waves of early Grief that engulfed me the first 2 years have subsided to become a steady ebb and flow of a familiar grief.
But these dreams, unlike early grief in Years 1 and 2, come less often. The tidal waves of grief that engulfed me the first 2 years have subsided to become a steady ebb and flow of a familiar grief. It’s not that my grief is easy, but I’ve grown accustomed to carrying the weight of ache and love. My grief has become quiet tears at 3 years.

3 Years of Loss: His Memorial Date All Over Again
Holidays, birthdays, and the anniversary of the suicide are often difficult. Generally, the first year, with all its “firsts” will be the toughest, but these events may always be difficult times for you. Rest assured that the anticipation of these days is far worse than the day itself. It’s only twenty-four hours, and it will pass as quickly as any other day.
Jeffrey Jackson, SOS: A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide, American Association of Suicidology
Healing grief, yes, but also finding his Memorial Date is still an Impossible Day
It is June, a perilous month for me. On June 25th, it will be 3 years since Dylan died, and for the past 2 years, I’ve not even wanted to live to see June come. How to begin to explain the heartbreak, the heart shattering, the draining of my lifeblood, bones, body, mind, my everything, in the wake of losing my only child, Dylan.
How to begin to explain the heartbreak, the heart shattering, the draining of my lifeblood, bones, body, mind, my everything, in the wake of losing my only child, Dylan.
Some people have said this to me, “there are no words.” They are right–there are no words, only keening, agonizingly brutal, tidal-wave emotional upheaval, and hellish days and nights.
Coping with Grief and Seeking Healing in Year 3
And so it is June 9th, and I am still standing. Moving, actually, moving. Staying busy. Connected. Reaching out to others. Calling friends intentionally to talk about their lives and interests, sometimes mentioning where I am. Calling a few close friends/family who have endured my acute grief and still stand by my side, knowing that while things appear “better,” more peaceful, perhaps, that this is a nightmarish month for me and that echoes of Dylan’s death are easily triggered.
And so it is June 9th, and I am still standing. Moving, actually, moving. Staying busy. Connected. Reaching out to others. Calling friends intentionally to talk about their lives and interests, sometimes mentioning where I am in my grief journey.

Are Quiet Tears My “New Normal”? Is This Healing Grief?
And it is June, and the 25th is coming. Dylan’s memorial day. A day I wish had never happened in a month I’m not sure I’ll ever sit easy with again. I want so much to share current photos of Dylan, to talk about his having graduated from college, digital media degree in hand, his having landed a first career job. I want to share pictures of possibility, of hope, of a future, both his and mine, filled with infinite dreaming and Hallmark cards clicking off the seasons, rites of passage, and years: birthdays, Christmas, celebrations, congratulations.
I want so much to share current photos of Dylan, to talk about his having graduated from college, digital media degree in hand, his having landed a first career job. I want to share pictures of possibility, of hope, of a future, both his and mine, filled with infinite dreaming and Hallmark cards clicking off the seasons, rites of passage, and years: birthdays, Christmas, celebrations, congratulations.
I Just Want My Life Back
I want a normal life, or at least one that resembles so many others’ lives. I want to post pictures on social media of my son, I want to tell my friends excitedly, “Dylan’s coming home for Christmas!” I want, I ache, I need.
Accepting the Unacceptable is Hard Won
But truth be told, this is my normal now. I am Beth, Dylan’s Mom, and my son died by suicide only three months after he had turned 20 years old. My life has changed, who I am has changed, but my love for Dylan only deepens. I miss him more with each day that passes.

Healing Grief: Reckoning With Guilt After 3 Years of Loss
Guilt is your worst enemy, because it is a false accusation. You are not responsible for your loved one’s suicide in any way, shape, or form. Write it down. Say it to yourself over and over
again, (even when it feels false). Tattoo it onto your brain. Because it’s the truth.Why do suicide survivors tend to blame themselves? Psychiatrists theorize that human nature subconsciously resists so strongly the idea that we cannot control all the
Jeffrey Jackson, SOS: A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide, American Association of Suicidology
events of our lives that we would rather fault ourselves for a
tragic occurrence than accept our inability to prevent it. Simply put, we don’t like admitting to ourselves that
we’re only human, so we blame ourselves instead.
The Grief and Guilt of Losing My Only Child
Perhaps it’s because I lost my only child, or perhaps it’ s because I am a mother, I still feel enormous guilt.
Journaling helps quiet my grief, and reading about the common emotions felt by survivors of suicide helps make me feel less alone. Feeling the heaviness of guilt can be crippling, but as I move through grief, I find its intrusiveness less often.
Related Articles About The Shape of My Grief Through the Years
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A Decade After Suicide Loss: Reflections on Longterm Grief Summary A Decade After Suicide Loss: Reflections on Longterm Grief recounts the author’s decade-long healing journey after the loss of her son, Dylan. She shares her experiences of grief, resilience, and the significance of community support, therapy, and self-reflection. Finding solace in nature and gratitude for…
Read More11 Years After Suicide Loss: I Still Want to Believe
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Read More4 Years After Loss: Navigating Grief and Healing
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Read MoreA Deluge of Feelings: Year 8 Memorial Date
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Read MoreA Letter to My Son in Year Nine: Reflections on Lingering Grief
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Read MoreLiving Backwards Going Forward: A Grief Journey in Year 3
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Support and Resources for Navigating Grief and Embracing Hope
“A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief” by Jeffrey Jackson
A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief is a booklet for people who have lost a loved one to suicide. Written by fellow suicide loss survivor Jeffrey Jackson, the booklet is an easy read that offers insight and essential information covering common experiences by those impacted by suicide loss – from the emotional roller-coaster, to the elusive quest for “Why?” to how to supportive resources, and impactful topics related to one’s suicide grief and loss.
Download the handbook from the American Association of Suicidology at this link.
Listen to a Podcast Discussion About Coping with and Healing Suicide Grief
Join Jeffrey Jackson, author of A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief in the video player below:
Key Resources for Understanding Suicide
The articles below include key resources for understanding suicide and coping with grief. They offer compassionate guidance. Notably, the “Rain Comes to Heal Us All” Poem: Finding Hope After Loss, provides solace. Grief involves stigma, guilt, and various emotions from anger to relief.
Research indicates that suicide is not a conscious choice, necessitating a non-judgmental emotional healing approach. Support groups and educational materials empower survivors, fostering community connections.
The content includes the author’s story of losing her child, emotional support resources, insights on suicide, grief duration discussions, and resources for bereaved parents.

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents
Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents is a comprehensive resource for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. The book offers a curated list of books, including practical guides, narratives, poetry, and novels, providing support and understanding for those navigating grief. The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal journey of loss and healing, emphasizing the importance of support groups and educational materials in the grieving process.

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice
Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice explores the emotional complexities surrounding suicide, challenging the notion that it is a choice. Dr. John Ackerman highlights the myriad factors influencing suicidal thoughts, emphasizing that individuals often seek relief from overwhelming pain rather than wanting to end their lives. This piece encourages empathy and awareness, making it essential reading for those wanting to support loved ones in distress.

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents
Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents offers a comprehensive list of resources and support for individuals grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. It includes personal insights, professional perspectives, and a curated selection of books and support groups. The author, Beth Brown, shares her own experience of losing her son to suicide and emphasizes the importance of seeking help and understanding.

Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End?
Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End? offers a compassionate look at and attempts to response to one of the most profound challenges of longterm grief after suicide loss: Does the pain of losing a child to suicide is profound and never fully goes away, but it does change and become a part of one’s life. Finding support through counseling, support groups, and connecting with others who have experienced similar losses is crucial for healing. Grief is a journey with seasons that come and go, and it is possible to learn to live with the pain while honoring the love for the lost child.
To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to be here and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain does change, it softens. You will want to live again and be able to enjoy life again. It will never be like before but the crushing, all consuming pain you feel right now will soften. You will be able to live with it. It just becomes part of you.
A parent who lost their child to suicide

Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched”
Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched” features Ronald Rolheiser’s writings on suicide which offer a compassionate and spiritual perspective, emphasizing that suicide is often a tragic consequence of mental illness, not a voluntary act. He encourages loved ones to release guilt and second-guessing, understanding that they are not responsible for the person’s death. Rolheiser also highlights the importance of remembering the deceased’s life beyond their suicide, trusting in God’s infinite love and understanding.

Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters
Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters explores the pain and grief surrounding suicide, emphasizing that it is not a conscious choice but a desperate attempt to escape unbearable suffering. The article highlights current research, personal stories, and compassionate support for those struggling with depression and mental health, aiming to break the stigma surrounding suicide. It provides resources and insights into the complexities of grief and the journey towards healing.

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief
The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief, recounts the author’s harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Her story highlights her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing. The blog “My Forever Son” came about as a way for the author to work through this devastating grief that follows the loss of a child to suicide. My Forever Son blog serves as a platform for sharing experiences and finding healing and solace in community.

Grieve in Your Own Way
Grief takes as long as it takes.
There are no time limits for grieving the loss of your child. Self-care is important, and finding support is key. An online group, Parents of Suicides, is an international group of parents who have lost a child to suicide. A counselor or therapist can help, and learning strategies to navigate grief can help.
Because Love Never Dies: Finding Solace After a Child’s Suicide offers support and guidance along with personal narratives, expert insights about grief, and practical recommendations for ways to navigate grief.

Grief Is Our Expression of Love for the Child We Lost
Your grief is your own.
Our grief is our expression of love for the child we lost. But losing a child to suicide can mean moving through powerful emotions that can be exhausting and overwhelming. I joined local support groups in my community.
You can find a support group in your community at the “Find a Support Group” page of The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Find Strategies to Help Navigate Grief


Strategies to Help Navigate Grief
Navigating grief and discovering effective coping strategies has been essential for my grief to move toward hope and healing.
The following grief strategies and resources serve as an excellent starting point:

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: A Parent’s Guide offers compassionate support for parents dealing with the profound grief of losing a child to suicide, providing gentle guidance on coping with such a devastating loss.

5 Ways Suicide Grief is Different gently explores the profound challenges that accompany suicide grief. The author shares her heartfelt emotional journey, weaving in personal experiences, insightful expert quotes, and valuable resources to offer solace and support to readers who may be facing similar heart-wrenching struggles.

Navigating Grief: Support for Parents After Suicide offers a deeply moving account from a mother who shares her profound journey of mourning her son’s tragic death by suicide. Through her heartfelt insights and personal stories, she extends comfort and invaluable guidance to parents who may be grappling with similar heartaches, particularly during emotionally charged times like birthdays and holidays.

Navigating Grief: A Parent’s Journey offers compassionate guidance for parents facing the devastating reality of losing a child to suicide. It highlights the need for seeking help, finding connection with others, and coping with grief, serving as a comforting light for those enduring such profound loss.
Helpful Resources for Navigating Guilt and Self-Blame in Grief
These Helpful Resources for Navigating Guilt and Self-Blame in Grief offer invaluable support for parents grappling with the profound grief of losing a child to suicide. Rich in compassion and understanding, they provide personal narratives, expert insights on grief, and essential strategies for healing.

Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources
Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources provides a compassionate guide to support parents through the pain of losing a child to suicide. It explores the journey of grief, the importance of support networks, and self-care during this difficult time. The guide offers suggestions for honoring a child’s memory, creating a meaningful legacy to provide solace amidst heartache.

Coping with Guilt After Losing a Child to Suicide
Coping with Guilt After Losing a Child to Suicide is a heartfelt exploration of the overwhelming emotions that parents face after the tragic loss of a child to suicide. It delicately unravels the deep feelings of grief, guilt, and despair that can engulf those grappling with such an unimaginable sorrow. Through intimate personal stories and touching quotes, it provides a compassionate perspective that aims to comfort and support parents on their difficult healing journey.

Self-Blame and Guilt: I Couldn’t Save My Son
Self Blame and Guilt: I Couldn’t Save My Son is a deeply emotional narrative that explores feelings of self-blame and guilt after the loss of a son. This poignant story guides readers through the tumultuous emotions parents face, sharing the author’s deep sorrow and questioning what could have been done differently. It emphasizes the need for support and understanding during the arduous healing journey.

“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”: Poem on Guilt in Grief
“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”: Poem on Guilt in Grief is a powerful poem that reflects the overwhelming “could’ve, should’ve, would’ve” guilt parents experience after losing a child to suicide. The poetic language directly addresses the haunting “What If?” and “Why Didn’t I See?” questions that plague those left behind, emphasizing the helplessness and regret that linger after such a tragic loss. The poem serves as a conduit for healing and self-forgiveness, exploring the possibility of moving beyond guilt and embracing acceptance, allowing love to shine through even the darkest of times.

Haunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling”
Haunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling” is a poignant poem that captures the intense emotions of grief and guilt after losing a child to suicide. The verses convey heartbreak and the struggle to find solace, using nature as a symbol for the grief journey. Vivid imagery of hawks circling above parallels feelings of despair, evoking a sense of helplessness in processing pain. Every line resonates with the weight of memories and the ache of loss, inviting readers to reflect on their own experiences with grief.
Heartfelt Poems and Reflections for Grieving Parents
Love and Loss: Profound Narratives and Poems of Grief

A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table
A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table offers a deeply personal and moving exploration of love and grief associated with family gatherings and the loss of a child. Framed through the lens of her son, Dylan, the story of the family table unfolds through his loving childhood memories. Against this backdrop of cherished memories, the author reveals the profound grief of losing a child, her son Dylan, to suicide.

Twenty Years of Love: Dylan
Twenty Years of Love: Dylan delves deeply into the personal journey of grief and loss, offering heartfelt memories and reflections on the life of Dylan. The emotional impact is palpable, and the piece effectively captures the enduring love and pain experienced by the author. The inclusion of links to additional readings about Dylan and resources for support is valuable.

Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unimaginable Grief
Memorial Day: A Mother’s Reflection on Loss, Love, and Unimaginable Grief beautifully conveys the profound heartache and unwavering love that a mother feels for her son. The author shares her deeply moving journey of navigating the pain and challenges that arise from her son’s fourth suicide attempt on Memorial Day, illuminating the complexities of a mother’s grief intertwined with a glimmer of hope.

Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide
Navigating Guilt in Grief: A Parent’s Guide is a compassionate exploration that acknowledges the intricate emotions that arise in the wake of a loved one’s suicide, focusing specifically on the experiences of parents. This guide delves into the deep, often conflicting feelings of grief, guilt, and despair that can engulf parents who have experienced such an unimaginable loss.

Walking Through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide
Walking through Shadows: Surviving the Unthinkable Loss of a Child to Suicide has a profound and emotional narrative in the form of a narrative poem that sheds light on the struggle of losing a child to suicide. The personal experiences shared provide an authentic and raw look into the journey of grief and healing. The author emphasizes the importance of staying true to one’s narrative and finding support.
Heartfelt Stories of Love, Loss, and Remembrance
Explore heartfelt narratives and reflections on the profound strength of love, the agony of loss, and the enduring essence of remembering those we cherished and lost. In these stories, delve into the intricate tapestry of emotions that love weaves, showcasing not only the joyous moments but also the poignant struggles that arise in times of sorrow.

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief
The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief recounts the author’s experience of losing her son to suicide, highlighting her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing. The blog “My Forever Son” emerged as a way for her to navigate this devastating loss, serving as a platform for sharing experiences and finding solace in community. My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide is a heartfelt blog by Beth Brown that chronicles her profound journey through grief and healing following the suicide of her son, Dylan, using poetry, reflections, and nature photography.
Overview of My Forever Son Blog
Beth Brown’s blog, My Forever Son: Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide, is an intimate account of her life after losing her 20-year-old son, Dylan, to suicide. The blog captures her harrowing experience of grief, the guilt and despair she faced, and the ways she has sought healing over the years. Through writing, particularly poetry, she expresses emotions that had been otherwise inexpressible during the early, overwhelming stages of her mourning
Content and Themes
- Poems as Reflection and Healing: The blog features a series of poems, including Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing which explore the depth of sorrow, longing, and hope experienced after losing a child. These poems often intertwine personal narratives and memories, offering readers insight into the emotional journey of a bereaved parent.
- Personal Journey: Beth shares the timeline of her grief, describing the initial devastation, the silencing of her voice, and her struggle to find hope. Writing began as a journal, eventually transforming into a poetic endeavor that allowed her to process sorrow while reconnecting with her creative and expressive self.
- Photography and Nature as Healing: The blog incorporates photographs of Beth’s gardens across seasons, showing how observing the cycles of nature helped her find moments of calm, renewal, and hope amid grief. Spring blooms and gradual seasonal changes symbolize resilience and the eventual emergence of joy following loss
- Community and Support: The blog also emphasizes the importance of connecting with others who have experienced similar loss, highlighting that shared grief can reduce the sense of isolation that often accompanies bereavement
Purpose and Impact
The aim of My Forever Son is to offer solace and understanding to parents confronting child loss, providing a space for reflection and healing. Through her poetry, Beth Brown shows that grief can endure, yet moments of hope and remembrance are possible. Her work is part of Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing including 19 poems on love, loss, and recovery, sharing her son’s life and her reflections on carrying grief with cherished memories.

The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience
The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience is a heartfelt exploration of the author’s journey through grief after losing her son to suicide. It draws parallels between the cycles of nature and the seasons of healing, illustrated by the vibrant blooms of spring and the dormancy of winter. The magnolia tree symbolizes both grief and resilience, representing enduring love and remembrance of “My Forever Son.” With its association of strength, dignity, and perseverance, the magnolia serves as a fitting emblem for perseverance in the face of loss. Its blooms evoke purity and beauty, creating a gentle tribute to a loved one.
In mourning a child, the magnolia embodies the pain of loss and the hope of healing. Planting one acts as a living memorial, where love grows alongside the tree, and its blooms symbolize the endurance of the heart. Magnolia trees signify the continuity of life, offering comfort during grief, and many families choose them for gardens, finding a representation of both sorrow and hope. The magnolia stands as a living tribute to grief and eternal memory.

A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table
A grandmother’s enduring love is the invisible thread that binds generations, keeping the family together and filling hearts with warmth.
“A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table” is a heartwarming story about a family’s enduring love, symbolized by a family table. The table, originally purchased by the grandmother, becomes a sacred space where the family gathers, sharing laughter, joy, and celebrations. The narrative explores the profound grief of losing a child to suicide, highlighting how the family table becomes a site of reflection and remembrance.
A Grandmother’s Love Held Together the Family Table beautifully captures the essence of family connection. A grandmother serves as the cornerstone of family life, nurturing traditions and offering unconditional love. Her presence weaves comfort and wisdom into daily moments, inspiring kindness in children. A grandmother’s love acts as the glue that holds a family together, creating warmth and shared memories around the table.

Twenty Years of Love: Dylan
“Twenty Years of Love: Dylan My Forever Son” is a heartfelt blog post that honors Dylan Andrew Brown, reflecting on his life, enduring love, and the profound grief of losing a child to suicide.
Twenty Years of Love: Dylan is a beautiful guest post by the author’s sister that looks back over the life of Dylan, reflecting on cherished memories, significant milestones, and the profound impact he had on the lives of those who loved him. The post invites readers to journey through the years alongside Dylan, celebrating his accomplishments, the lessons learned, and the indelible mark he left on the hearts of family and friends alike. It serves not only as a tribute but also as a heartfelt reminder of the power of love and remembrance, encouraging everyone to hold tight to their own memories of those who have touched their lives. Twenty Years of Love: Dylan, gone too soon.
Key themes in this post include:
- Enduring Love: A mother’s connection with her son continues even after death, showing that grief is interwoven with remembrance and devotion
- Grief and Healing: The blog is part of a broader effort to chronicle grief and share hope, offering support to others coping with the loss of a child
- Personal Tribute: Dylan is remembered as a gifted student, musician, friend, and beloved son, with his achievements and personality celebrated alongside the grief

Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide
Grandparents’ Double Grief: Losing a Grandchild to Suicide explores the profound grief experienced by grandparents who endure the heartbreaking loss of a grandchild to the tragic circumstances of suicide, delving into the emotional turmoil, feelings of helplessness, and the complex process of mourning that accompanies such a devastating multiple loss. A grandparent grieves not just for their grandchild, but also for their own child whose life is forever changed.
The grief grandparents experience after losing a grandchild to suicide is profound and multifaceted, often described as a “double grief” because it involves mourning both the grandchild and the deep pain of their own child, the parent.
Unique Emotional Journey for Grandparents
Grandparents’ grief is often intense and complicated by feelings of helplessness knowing their own child is deeply suffering. They may experience shock, numbness, guilt, anger, and profound sadness, sometimes feeling invisible or “forgotten mourners” as attention tends to focus on the parents. This grief often lasts much longer than society expects and involves many emotional ups and downs. Grandparents may struggle to express their loss openly, yet their need to acknowledge and remember the grandchild remains strong.
Deep Insights on the Challenges of Grief
Discover thought-provoking articles from My Forever Son blog that delve into the profound intricacies of understanding the unique aspects of suicide grief, particularly in connection with the devastating loss of a child to suicide. These articles offer invaluable insights into the emotional turmoil and complex feelings that arise in the wake of such an unimaginable tragedy. By exploring personal stories, expert opinions, and coping strategies, the blog aims to provide a compassionate space for parents and loved ones navigating their grief.

Understanding the Unique Aspects of Suicide Grief
Understanding the Unique Aspects of Suicide Grief is a beautifully written and profoundly personal piece that gently explores the unique hurdles of dealing with the grief that follows a suicide. The author shares her heartfelt emotional journey, illustrating how deeply grief has woven itself into the fabric of her life. By incorporating personal stories, expert insights, and supportive resources, this post not only provides authenticity but also offers a comforting hand to those who may be navigating similar paths of loss and sorrow.

Compassionate Resources for Grieving Parents
Compassionate Resources for Grieving Parents This letter from Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, Dylan, to suicide 14 years ago, offers compassionate guidance for newly bereaved parents. Beth’s healing journey is personal: she created the blog My Forever Son as a sanctuary for poetry and reflection. She shares how tending her gardens and her pets provided comfort during dark times, weaving in Alan Wolfelt’s Ten Touchstones for Hope and Healing along with practical coping strategies and moments of authentic hope.

Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters
Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters offers a heartfelt exploration of the immense pain tied to suicide, affecting both those who die by it and their grieving loved ones. Titled “Understanding Suicide: It’s Not About Wanting to Die; It’s About Wanting the Pain to Stop,” this article reaches out to bereaved families with research, statistics, and videos that illuminate this personal issue. By breaking the stigma around suicide, it weaves personal stories and expert insights, fostering understanding of the need to acknowledge pain in these discussions. Resources for support are included.

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice
Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice is a compassionate article that explores the concept of “choice” in the heartbreaking context of a child’s suicide. It emphasizes the complexity of suicide, reminding us that various factors, such as mental health issues and social pressures, contribute to this devastating outcome. The piece encourages readers to recognize the importance of empathy and support for affected families while challenging societal misconceptions surrounding suicide. Through expert insights, it serves as a vital resource for those grieving or seeking to understand the influences behind such a loss, advocating for awareness and open dialogues on mental health among children and adolescents.

When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”
When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand” is a poignant exploration of the complexities surrounding the topic of suicide, intricately challenging the prevalent notion that suicide is simply a choice made by individuals in despair. Beth Brown, the author of the powerful treatise, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” delves deep into the emotional and psychological dimensions of this tragic phenomenon, emphasizing the inevitability of death for all, regardless of the circumstances or causes that may lead one to that final resolution. Her poetic reflections and deep discussions including current research on understanding suicide converge to illustrate why and When Love is Not Enough.

Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched”
Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss offers a compassionate view of the profound pain that suicide loss brings to individuals and families. The article features Father Ronald Rolheiser’s piece, “Suicide–When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched,” which explores the complexities of grief and the struggles faced by those left behind. Rolheiser, with over forty years of experience, has been a guiding voice for many seeking solace. Through his reflections and anecdotes, Rolheiser not only aids those grieving but also fosters greater awareness of mental health struggles, encouraging dialogue to break the stigma surrounding these issues.

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice
Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice affirms with well-documented research that suicide is not a choice, but a tragic outcome of intense emotional pain and distorted judgment. The stigma surrounding suicide persists, hindering understanding and perpetuating the misconception that it is a selfish act. Suicide epidemiologists emphasize that suicide is not a decision, but a desperate attempt to escape unbearable suffering, often exacerbated by limited resources and support.

Coping with Guilt After Losing a Child to Suicide
Coping with Guilt After Losing a Child to Suicide is a compassionate exploration of the overwhelming emotions parents face after losing a child to suicide. This deeply moving post offers valuable support, meaningful quotes that resonate with the grieving process, and essential resources that can help guide parents on their healing journey. It emphasizes the importance of finding a supportive community and engaging in self-care practices to navigate the complex feelings of guilt and sorrow that often accompany such a devastating loss.
Dylan: Forever Loved and Remembered
Parents of Suicides: An Online, International Support Group
Parents of Suicides is an international e-mail group and part of the POS – FFOS Internet Community established on October 9, 1998. The group is managed and moderated by volunteers, mothers and fathers in the group who give their time and hearts to help.
The mission of POS is to offer understanding, support, information and hope to bereaved parents. (This group is exclusively for birth parents or parents who legally adopted their children.)
Send an email to Karyl Chastain Beal at arlynsmom@cs.com to ask for an application to join POS.
Navigating Grief: Strategies for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
These resources for navigating grief offer helpful coping strategies and tips for suicide loss of a child. Practical advice and grief tips can help parents move through grief and healing.

15 Essential Grief Tips for Parents After a Child’s Suicide
15 Essential Grief Tips for Parents After a Child’s Suicide includes valuable tips and insights for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide, offering practical advice on seeking help, connecting with others, and finding ways to cope with grief. The personal experiences and suggestions offer meaningful support for parents dealing with this devastating loss. A comprehensive guide for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide, this post offers support and resources to help parents who lose a child to suicide navigate this difficult journey. Remember, you are not alone. There is a community of parents who are ready to listen, understand, and support you through this painful chapter of your life.

Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources
Navigating Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide: Essential Resources s a compassionate guide designed to support parents who are heartbroken from the loss of a child to suicide. This resource delves into the multifaceted emotions that accompany such profound grief, highlighting the crucial need for self-care, the value of seeking professional help, and the comfort of connecting with support groups. It offers coping strategies and thoughtful grief tips, such as engaging in creative pursuits, finding peace in nature, and honoring your child’s memory through meaningful memorials.

Finding Solace After Losing a Child to Suicide: “Build a Life of Love Around the Loss”
Finding Solace After Losing a Child to Suicide: “Build a Life of Love Around the Loss”explores the emotional turmoil of grief and offers guidance for healing. Through personal narratives and expert insights, the article emphasizes that parents are not alone in their pain and provides 16 practical tips for continuing the bonds with the lost child. It highlights the importance of coping strategies, honoring deceased loved ones, and navigating the complexities of grief.

Support for Parents Grieving a Child’s Suicide: Guidance, Resources, and Healing
Support for Parents Grieving a Child’s Suicide: Guidance, Resources, and Healing is a guide offering support and resources for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. It emphasizes seeking professional help, joining support groups, and practicing self-care. The guide includes book recommendations, support organizations, and a glossary of terms to aid in understanding and navigating grief. Compassionate support is available to help you with your journey.

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents
Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents is a comprehensive resource for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. The book offers a curated list of books, including practical guides, narratives, poetry, and novels, providing support and understanding for those navigating grief. The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal journey of loss and healing, emphasizing the importance of support groups and educational materials in the grieving process.
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
AFSP National Website
AFSP Tennessee Chapter
AFSP Healing Conversations Program
Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
Suicide Prevention Resource Center
Resources for Survivors of Suicide Loss
Online Library
T.A.P.S. (Supporting Veterans and Military Families)
Suicide Loss Survivor Assistance
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
AFSP National Website
AFSP Tennessee Chapter
AFSP Healing Conversations Program
Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
Suicide Prevention Resource Center
Resources for Survivors of Suicide Loss
Online Library
T.A.P.S. (Supporting Veterans and Military Families)
Suicide Loss Survivor Assistance
A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief, by Jeffrey Jackson has been instrumental in guiding me through the traumatic grief that losing my son to suicide left behind.
You are a “survivor of suicide,” and as that unwelcome
designation implies, your survival—your emotional
survival—will depend on how well you learn to cope with
your tragedy.The bad news: Surviving this will be the second worst experience of your life. The good news:
The worst is already over.What you’re enduring is one of the most horrific ordeals possible in
Jeffrey Jackson, A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief, TN, Resources for Survivors of Suicide, Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services
human experience. In the weeks and months after a suicide, survivors ride a roller coaster of emotions unlike any other.
Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
http://www.allianceofhope.org
This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.
Friends for Survival
http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.
HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.
Resources and Support Groups
Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
http://www.pos-ffos.com
This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
https://www.taps.org/suicide
This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.
United Survivors
https://unitesurvivors.org/
This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.
Professional Organizations
American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.
The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.
Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.
Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.
LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.
Online resources
Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.
Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.
Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.
SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.
Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.
Finding professional care and support
Find a mental health provider
- afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
- findtreatment.samhsa.gov
- mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
- inclusivetherapists.com
- afsp.org/suicide-bereavement-trained-clinicians
Find a provider for prolonged grief
Find additional resources for marginalized communities
Crisis Services
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988lifeline.org
Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.
Crisis Text Line
crisistextline.org
Text TALK to 741-741 for English
Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.

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9 replies on “Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss”
Thank you so much for sharing this unimaginable heaviness ❤️
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