Holding True to My Son’s Narrative: “Shaped by Love” Poem Analysis

Holding True to My Son’s Narrative: “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” Poem Analysis

Summary

Holding True to My Son’s Narrative: “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” Poem Analysis by Beth Brown explores the profound connection between love and grief following the loss of her son to suicide. The poem emphasizes the author’s refusal to change her narrative of grief, asserting her right to feel deeply and affirming that her love and grief are inseparable. Through vivid imagery and personal reflections, “the poem “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” captures the complex emotions and transformations that arise from such profound loss.

Introduction

Holding True to My Son’s Narrative: “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” Poem Analysis offers a poignant exploration of a mother coping with the unimaginable loss of her only child to suicide. The author, Beth Brown, poses poetic reflections on grief after losing her son to suicide, examining the lasting effects of this tragedy in her own narrative. She highlights the connection between her immense love and devastating grief in the poem, “Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay,” ultimately coming to understand and affirm that her love and her grief for her son are part of the same narrative that cannot be disentangled. To relinquish her grief would be to relinquish her love, creating an inseparable bond that defines her existence.

This emotional dichotomy in the poem, “Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay,” illustrates the struggle many parents face after the loss of a child. The poem, then, is about the author’s refusing to change her narrative (even though those who wish her well want her to move on from her son’s suicide), asserting her right to feel profoundly and fully “Shaped by Love and this Grief Come to Stay.”

The poem “Shaped by Love and this Grief Come to Stay,” serves as a powerful affirmation of owning her son’s narrative in her now life without him here, emphasizing that her journey through grief is not just about loss, but a testament to the enduring love that transcends even the depths of despair. Through personal reflections and vivid imagery, the author captures the complex emotions and transformations that arise from such profound loss.

Poem: “Shaped By Love–And This Grief Come to Stay”

Shaped By Love--and This Grief Come to Stay


His Narrative Just Started. Only a few chapters in.

A promising start. 
Having left so much 
Unsaid, unwritten. 
His chasm, your darkness.
His absence, dark ache your heart.

Listen to Your Narrative

It isn't wrong, this narrative of yours.
Isn't something to be fixed.
Adjusted. 
Changed. 
Rewritten.

You'd Rewrite Your Narrative If You Could

God knows you'd rewrite your narrative if you could. 
Consider the whole thing a tumultuous, torrid first draft.

A rough sketch ill-constructed. 
Not giving words, shapes, ideas, 
Even context, enough thought,
The consequence lacking intention.

A hapless quick free-write
In the middle of the night. Rushed. 
Out of character, both for him and for you.

"It just isn't right," say some.

"Maybe it wasn't suicide," say others.

"Didn't that happen a long time ago?" asks your friend.

"He wouldn't want to see you so sad," says your community.

"Just pretend he's studying abroad--in France, maybe, or England!" 
--says a friend, always looking for a happy ending.

So Much Pressure to Revise Your Narrative

Erase the version of the narrative you've lived.
Revise. Rewrite. Omit. Delete.

Change your life's story, the way everything changed
That day he ended his own. 

His narrative just started. 
Only a few chapters in.
A promising start.

As If You Could Live Past the Pain

As if you could live past the pain 
And not feel the whole of you disappearing
In your life's tragic moment. 
Its fatal eclipse your narrative, forever changed.

Shaped By Grief: Then, Now, and Ongoing

But what if, instead, that someone--or others, (or even you)--
Wants to hear your narrative?
How your life in all ways —
Emotional, physical, mental, intellectual—
Is shaped by your grief: 
Then, now, and ongoing.

And what if someone, somewhere, (even you) 
Does not ask you 
To change your narrative?

What Would Happen If They (Or Even You) Sit With Your Grief?

Hear the song your heart sings, 
Even if melancholic and haunting?
Listen to Your Story, even tragic, 
Even with chapters that do not end well.

Chapters needing to be rewritten, 
But that cannot be.
Chapters that have changed 
The trajectory of your life.

The chapter that day he plunged, 
In medias res, 
Changing all that you are. 
All that you were.
All that you will be.

For to Lose Your Narrative is to Lose Him All Over Again

For to lose your narrative is to lose him all over again. 
All. Over. Again. 
As if you haven't lost him enough 
These minutes; hours; days; months; years; 
10 now--and counting. 

As much now as then, 
When abruptly, 
Everything about your narrative changed 
And you started chasing minutes, hours, days, 
Months, years. 
As if you could bring them back--
Restore all the time before that date:
That time, that month, that year. 

Ending His Narrative Meant Ending Your Own

That date where ending his narrative 
Meant ending your own.
Your story, your narrative, in medias res:
 Changed forever because love (and grief)
cannot be separated.

Love  (and grief) have a way of changing us forever; 
A new permanence come to stay 
Where once  we thought ourselves immutable.

Shaped By Love--And This Grief Come to Stay

Shaped by love (19 years and not knowing I was counting), 
I am now shaped by this grief 
Come to stay.

A permanence in love's shadow, 
I am etched forever by the shape 
Of his love.

©Beth Brown, 2024
"Shaped By Love--And This Grief Come to Stay"



To read more poems on grief and healing, go here: Finding Hope After Losing a Child: Poetry and Healing 

Literary Themes and Analysis: “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay”

Themes of grief, guilt, and the stigma of suicide

• Exploring the tumultuous emotions of a parent who has lost a child to suicide in “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay,” the author through her profound and poignant poem navigates themes of grief, guilt, and the stigma of suicide with remarkable sensitivity and depth. These themes resonate deeply with grieving parents, shedding light on the complex layers of pain, the isolation often felt in such sorrow, and the struggle to find solace while grappling with overwhelming questions that can never truly be answered.

Themes of Unanswered questions, self-blame, and regrets

• Each theme in “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” presents unique challenges faced by parents who lose a child to suicide, manifesting as a labyrinth of unanswered questions, self-blame, and regret that intertwines with their daily lives, making the journey through grief even more complex and heart-wrenching.

Captures the sorrow of suicide loss while illuminating the societal pressures that complicate healing

• In “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay,” the author captures the profound sorrow of suicide loss while illuminating the complex societal pressures that complicate the healing process, ultimately shaping how parents perceive themselves in a world that relentlessly struggles to understand their deep and multifaceted pain. Through poignant storytelling and insightful reflection, the narrative delves into the myriad emotions parents experience, creating a poignant discourse on grief, loss, and the challenges encountered in the journey toward acceptance and understanding.

Isolating experience of such loss and the resilience needed to seek light in dark moments.

• Together, these profound themes in the poem, “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay,” invite readers to deeply reflect on the isolating experience that accompanies such significant loss and the extraordinary resilience that is often required to seek light in the darkest moments of life, ultimately serving as a poignant reminder of the human capacity for hope amidst despair.

Essential Themes in “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay”: Grief as an Expression of Love

By embracing her son’s suicide as part of her own narrative, the author comes to a profound understanding that her grief is her love for her son

• By embracing her son’s suicide as part of her own narrative, the author comes to a profound understanding that her grief is intertwined with her enduring love for her son. To pretend otherwise is not only to minimize her suffering—it is to negate the powerful, unbreakable connection that exists between a mother and son, reminding us that love can persist even in the shadows of loss and pain. In acknowledging this truth, she finds a pathway to healing and a deeper appreciation for the bond they shared, as well as the complexities of love and loss that define their relationship.

A profound connection that can resonate deeply with others who have lost a child to suicide

• The author’s raw emotions and powerful storytelling in her narrative poem, “Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay,” draw the reader into her deeply personal experience, creating a profound connection that can resonate deeply with others who have lost a child to suicide. The vivid imagery and heartfelt expressions evoke a sense of empathy and understanding, allowing the audience to not only feel her pain but also reflect on their own experiences of loss. Through her poignant verses, she articulates the complexities of grief, making the poem a compelling exploration of love, memory, and the enduring effects of tragedy on the human spirit.
• The inclusion of the author’s poetry provides powerful reflections on grief and healing. Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a collection of original poems about the profound grief and healing of losing a child to suicide, offering deep insights and solace for anyone navigating through the dark journey of loss, reminding readers that they are not alone in their experiences and emotions.

Summary of Themes

The poem“Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” by Beth Brown is a poignant exploration of the profound and permanent nature of a parent’s love, illustrating how this unwavering affection transcends the boundaries of life and death. It delves deep into the coexisting, enduring grief that follows the heartbreaking loss of a child to suicide, capturing the complexities of emotions that intertwine joy and sorrow. Through evocative imagery and heartfelt language, the poem reflects on the memories that linger and the haunting emptiness left behind. It invites readers to contemplate the lasting impact of such a tragedy, portraying grief not as a singular moment but as a journey that reshapes a parent’s existence forever.

Key Themes and Concepts in “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” Poem

The Inseparable Link of Love and Grief

• The Inseparable Link of Love and Grief: The central idea in “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” is that grief is not a temporary state to be overcome, but rather an ongoing presence that exists alongside the permanent love the author has for her son, Dylan. This grief is a testament to the depth of that love, reflecting a complex emotional landscape where joy and sorrow coexist, illustrating how the profound connection with her son continues to shape her life even in his absence. It serves as a reminder that love, while deeply fulfilling, can also engender an enduring ache that persists through the passage of time, merging the beauty of cherished memories with the pain of longing.

Refusal to Let Go of the Narrative

• Refusal to Let Go of the Narrative: The poem “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” expresses the author’s unwavering determination not to change her profound experience of grief, but rather to acknowledge it as an integral part of her life and identity as a grieving mother, blending her emotional landscape into the very portrait of her existence. This refusal illustrates her commitment to honor and embrace the complexities of her feelings, ensuring that the narrative of her loss remains a vital and expressive element of her story, shaping her understanding of both herself and the world around her.

Finding a Way to Live with Loss

• Finding a Way to Live with Loss: The poem “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” explores the difficult journey of learning to live with unimaginable sorrow and finding a path toward healing and hope, even as the pain remains. This journey is often filled with unexpected emotions, including anger, guilt, and longing, which can complicate the process.

Honoring Memory

• Honoring Memory: The act of writing the poem is a profound and meaningful way to honor her son’s memory, allowing the author to express her enduring love and connection to him. Through this creative outlet, she can articulate her feelings, reflect on their shared experiences, and ensure his presence continues in her life, even after his physical absence, merging his spirit into her thoughts and emotions in a lasting tribute.

The Unique Pain of Suicide Loss 

• The Unique Pain of Suicide Loss: The work also implicitly addresses the specific complexities, the harrowing questions that arise (“what if?”), and the intense, often overwhelming guilt that frequently accompany the loss of a child to suicide, highlighting the deep, often solitary search for meaning amidst the chaos and senseless tragedy that leaves families grappling with their heartbreak.

Summary of Key Ideas

Ultimately, the poem “Shaped by Love–And This Grief Come to Stay” suggests that love is powerful enough to shape one’s life, blending joy and connection into one’s existence. Yet equally potent is the grief that arrives uninvited and clings to the heart, an enduring presence after such a profound loss. These two emotions, love and grief, intertwined, illustrate the ongoing journey of the bereaved parent, where moments of beautiful memories are juxtaposed against the heaviness of sorrow. This duality signifies not only the struggle in navigating the world without their beloved child, but also the realization that love endures, even amidst heart-wrenching sadness, ultimately guiding them toward a path of healing and remembrance.

Related Reads

• When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”
• Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
• The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience
• “I Will Seek Until I Find You” Poem: A Journey Through Grief
• Losing My Son to Suicide: A Mother’s Story

My Forever Son

My Forever Son explores the profound grief, hope, and healing that follow the tragedy of losing a child to suicide.

My Forever Son dovetails the author’s journey of descending into deep grief, searching for hope, and finding healing along the way.

Table of Contents

A Permanence in Love’s Shadow,
I Am Etched Forever By the Shape of His Love

Beth Brown, “Shaped By Love and This Grief Come to Stay,” My Forever Son

A Mother’s Poetic Reflections on Love

A Mother’s Poetic Journey Through Grief and Love

Love and Grief Intertwine in Cherished Memories of My Son

My love for my son is always there, in all my beautiful memories of his growing up years. Even in the turbulent rockiness of his teenage years, Dylan told me often “I love you, Mom.”

I move forward in my life carrying the deep love I have for my son, and yet still there, so too that persistent ache of the deep grief of loss.

And my grief in losing my son to suicide is also always there for me. I have, after more than a decade of grief and healing, learned to carry love and ache together. I move forward in my life carrying the deep love I have for my son, and yet still there, so too that persistent ache of the deep grief of loss.

A New Permanence Come to Stay

I am forever shaped by my son’s love, and yet too, etched forever by grief in losing him.

Shaped By Love--and This Grief Come to Stay 

(excerpt from the full poem above)

Love (and grief) have a way 
Of changing us forever; 
A new permanence come to stay 
Where once we thought ourselves immutable.

A permanence in love's shadow, 
I am etched forever 
By the shape of his love.


©Beth Brown, 2024, excerpt from the poem: "Shaped By Love--And This Grief Come to Stay"

A Lullaby for My Son: “My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care”

Here is a song, a lullaby, I wrote about losing my son.
“My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care”: A Lullaby of Hope

“My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care”: A Lullaby of Hope

Audio: “My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care: A Lullaby of Hope”

– My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care, ©Beth Brown, My Forever Son, 2023

Dylan will always be My Forever Son

A Mother’s Poetic Journey of Love: Remembering the Growing Up Years

All Giggles and Smiles, Mickey Mouse and Blue’s Clues

I remember giggles and smiles, Mickey Mouse and Blue’s Clues, and the way you clapped with delight when you saw the chocolate cake for your 1st birthday. The room was filled with laughter and the joyful chatter of family and friends, all gathered around to celebrate you. Your tiny hands reached out in pure joy, and as we sang “Happy Birthday,” it felt like the entire universe was celebrating alongside you, making that day a beautiful memory etched forever in my heart.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mexican Dip, and Laughing Over “Who’s Line Is It Anyway?”

I Remember Us Making Our Homemade 5-Layer Mexican Dip

I remember making 5-layer Mexican Dip and laughing, howling even, over “Who’s Line is it Anyway?” It was one of those perfect evenings where everything just fell into place. The aroma of spices filled the kitchen as we prepared our favorite dinner, layers upon layers of deliciousness waiting to be devoured.

We would make Mexican 5-layer dip, open a bag of blue tortilla chips, and carry it all into our living room. The vibrant colors of the dip—refried beans, guacamole, sour cream, salsa, and shredded cheese—created a feast for the eyes before we even took a bite. Dylan would flop on the couch, grabbing a handful of chips, and then scoop deeply into the Mexican 5-layer dip. His enthusiasm was infectious, and soon we were all laughing and joking about the antics of the characters on the show.

As the laughter echoed in the room, each chip dipped into the creamy, savory layers was met with an explosion of flavor. The coolness of the sour cream contrasted perfectly with the zing of salsa, creating a delightful combination that made it impossible to stop eating. Dylan would often make exaggerated facial expressions after tasting a particularly good scoop, adding to our merriment.

In those moments, it wasn’t just about the dip or the show; it was about the joy of being together, the silly jokes we shared, and the comfort of familiarity. Those evenings filled with laughter and good food created lasting memories that I cherish to this day, proving that sometimes the simplest gatherings are the most meaningful.

Avocados, Red Onion, Cilantro, Jalapeños, and Fresh Lime Juice

Beautiful Memories: Dylan whirring the avocados, chopped red onion, chopped cilantro, and jalapenos in the food processor, then squeezing lots of fresh lime juice and sprinkling sea salt for good measure. The vibrant green of the avocados mingled beautifully with the bright reds and whites, creating a colorful mix that teased the senses and promised a delightful taste.

As Dylan blended the ingredients together, a creamy texture began to form, and the tantalizing aroma of fresh herbs filled the kitchen, instantly reminding everyone of warm summer evenings spent enjoying delicious homemade guacamole with friends and family. Each pulse of the processor brought back memories of laughter and joy, making this simple culinary task a cherished moment.

I would make the bean dip–pinto, black, and kidney beans, combined for a delightful texture. To enhance the flavor, I would add a couple of cloves of garlic, minced to release their aromatic essence, along with a pinch of sea salt to elevate the taste. Finally, I’d add salsa to taste, choosing one with a vibrant mix of tomatoes, onions, and spices, which would not only add a zesty kick but also create a colorful presentation that invites everyone to dig in. This dip would be perfect for gatherings or as a healthy snack option any time.

Building the 5-Layer Mexican Dip, Replete with Chopped Tomatoes and Black Olives

Then Dylan and I would build the fabulous layers on a glass oval dish designated especially for Mexican Dip: Bean dip on the bottom, creating a rich and hearty foundation, then a generous layer of guacamole, vibrant and creamy, followed by a thick spread of sour cream, offering a tangy contrast.

Next, we would sprinkle a hearty amount of shredded Mexican cheese, then carefully place fresh tomatoes, diced finely, to add a burst of color and freshness. Finally, we would adorn the top with chopped black olives, their briny flavor completing this delightful masterpiece, making it not just a dip, but a celebration of flavors, perfect for sharing during gatherings with family and friends.

I still have the recipe–If only I could have kept Dylan along with the recipe. I miss my son.

[Suggested Reading]: “Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere”: Grief Poem–“He Left Too Soon”is about Beth Brown’s poignant poem, “Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere -Grief Poem “He Left Too Soon,” which skillfully intertwines the sorrow stemming from the loss of her son to suicide with the tumult wrought by a powerful Derecho storm that occurred on the day of his funeral.

Included in her book on Amazon Kindle, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, the poem that was inspired by the Derecho, “He Left Too Soon,” explores the profound grief and emotional turmoil she experienced. Through her eloquent writing, Brown aspires to offer solace to those enduring similar tragedies, thereby shedding light on the fragility of life and the enduring strength of love amidst sorrow.

Memories of You as the Blue Power Ranger and My Catching You Just in Time

Power Rangers – your blue and white diamond-checkered costume that your Aunt Linda made, replete with a Power Ranger sword, jumping from the top stair and my catching you just in time. It was a heart-pounding moment, filled with the thrill of your adventurous spirit, your laughter echoing through the house as you imagined yourself in a fierce battle to save the day.

I remember Froggie and Small Pig, Henry and Mudge, the Rugrats (especially Chuckie, with his wild red hair and nervous personality), and Charlie Brown, each character bringing back countless afternoons filled with joy and wonder. The classroom parties were another highlight, with Halloween costumes transforming your classmates into a parade of superheroes, witches, and various creatures, while we indulged in the delightful assortment of candy and cupcakes I’d baked just for your parties.

Chocolate always was your favorite, and on the edge of sweet-tinged memories, I ache in absence of you.

Support and Resources from My Forever Son Blog

Key Resources for Understanding Suicide

The articles below include key resources for understanding suicide and coping with grief. They offer compassionate guidance. Notably, the “Rain Comes to Heal Us All” Poem: Finding Hope After Loss, provides solace. Grief involves stigma, guilt, and various emotions from anger to relief.

Research indicates that suicide is not a conscious choice, necessitating a non-judgmental emotional healing approach. Support groups and educational materials empower survivors, fostering community connections.

The content includes the author’s story of losing her child, emotional support resources, insights on suicide, grief duration discussions, and resources for bereaved parents.

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents

Healing After Suicide: Essential Books for Parents is a comprehensive resource for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide. The book offers a curated list of books, including practical guides, narratives, poetry, and novels, providing support and understanding for those navigating grief. The author, Beth Brown, shares her personal journey of loss and healing, emphasizing the importance of support groups and educational materials in the grieving process.

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice

Understanding Suicide: It’s Not a Choice explores the emotional complexities surrounding suicide, challenging the notion that it is a choice. Dr. John Ackerman highlights the myriad factors influencing suicidal thoughts, emphasizing that individuals often seek relief from overwhelming pain rather than wanting to end their lives. This piece encourages empathy and awareness, making it essential reading for those wanting to support loved ones in distress.

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide: Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents

Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, Support, Resources, and Self-Care for Bereaved Parents offers a comprehensive list of resources and support for individuals grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. It includes personal insights, professional perspectives, and a curated selection of books and support groups. The author, Beth Brown, shares her own experience of losing her son to suicide and emphasizes the importance of seeking help and understanding.

Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End?

Surviving Suicide Grief: Does the Pain Ever End? offers a compassionate look at and attempts to response to one of the most profound challenges of longterm grief after suicide loss: Does the pain of losing a child to suicide is profound and never fully goes away, but it does change and become a part of one’s life. Finding support through counseling, support groups, and connecting with others who have experienced similar losses is crucial for healing. Grief is a journey with seasons that come and go, and it is possible to learn to live with the pain while honoring the love for the lost child.

To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to be here and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain does change, it softens. You will want to live again and be able to enjoy life again. It will never be like before but the crushing, all consuming pain you feel right now will soften. You will be able to live with it. It just becomes part of you.

A parent who lost their child to suicide

Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched”

Understanding the Pain of Suicide Loss: “When Someone is Too Bruised to Be Touched” features Ronald Rolheiser’s writings on suicide which offer a compassionate and spiritual perspective, emphasizing that suicide is often a tragic consequence of mental illness, not a voluntary act. He encourages loved ones to release guilt and second-guessing, understanding that they are not responsible for the person’s death. Rolheiser also highlights the importance of remembering the deceased’s life beyond their suicide, trusting in God’s infinite love and understanding.

Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters

Understanding Suicide: Why the Pain Matters explores the pain and grief surrounding suicide, emphasizing that it is not a conscious choice but a desperate attempt to escape unbearable suffering. The article highlights current research, personal stories, and compassionate support for those struggling with depression and mental health, aiming to break the stigma surrounding suicide. It provides resources and insights into the complexities of grief and the journey towards healing.

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief

The Backstory to My Forever Son: A Mother’s Grief, recounts the author’s harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Her story highlights her grief, guilt, and the healing power of writing. The blog “My Forever Son” came about as a way for the author to work through this devastating grief that follows the loss of a child to suicide. My Forever Son blog serves as a platform for sharing experiences and finding healing and solace in community.

Healing Through Poetry: Grieving a Child’s Loss to Suicide

Healing Through Poetry: Grieving a Child’s Loss to Suicide explores the challenging journey of healing after the heartbreaking loss of a child to suicide. Heartfelt poems and evocative visuals create a soothing experience, inviting readers to connect with the deep emotions in each verse. This blend of poetry and photography from the author’s gardens fosters an emotional bond, offering comfort to those with similar experiences while encouraging them to acknowledge their pain, cherish memories, and seek healing amid despair.

He Left Too Soon

He left too soon— 
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain
 
His absence—
Breath of pain whose exhale can only bring
Heart heaving, this beating of tears

Breaking loose—
All hell in earth's upturned rupture, 
Death shoveling shadows over me

As I bend to lay flowers on his name—
Inscribed and bronzed, 
A permanence come to stay
 
My love laced now with pain—
Standing over my son's grave,
Death's Derecho come to stay in my shadow.
 
Beth Brown, copyright 2021, "He Left Too Soon" Poem: A Mother's Deep Sorrow

Explore the compelling tale that inspired the poem, "He Left too Soon," here: Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere - Grief Poem "He Left Too Soon"

“He Left Too Soon”: A Mother’s Deep Sorrow

“He Left Too Soon” Poem: A Mother’s Deep Sorrow  is a poignant poem that bravely addresses the profound sorrow and anguish that comes with losing a beloved child to suicide. The poem aims to express the deep and complex emotions of grief, loss, and yearning, capturing the overwhelming turmoil that families face during such an unimaginable tragedy. The inspiration for the poem, “He Left Too Soon,” delves into the profound depths of early, acute grief following the heartbreaking loss of my son to suicide. This piece encapsulates themes of grief, mourning, remembrance, and the enduring love that persists even in the face of overwhelming sorrow.

Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere–Grief Poem: “He Left Too Soon”

Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere–Grief Poem: “He Left Too Soon” skillfully intertwines the sorrow stemming from the loss of her son to suicide with the tumult wrought by a powerful Derecho storm that occurred on the day of his funeral. Included in her publication, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide, the poem that was inspired by the Derecho, “He Left Too Soon,” explores the profound grief and emotional turmoil she experienced. Through her eloquent writing, Brown aspires to offer solace to those enduring similar tragedies, thereby shedding light on the fragility of life and the enduring strength of love amidst sorrow.

“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings”: Grieving a Child’s Suicide

“On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” Poem: Grieving a Child’s Suicide explores the profound grief of losing a child to suicide. The author, Beth Brown, reflects on the painful memories of her son Dylan’s life, his love for music, and the helplessness she felt in his final days. The poem “On Baby’s Breath and Angel Wings” juxtaposes the beauty of Dylan’s childhood memories with the devastating reality of his tragic end.

Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon (excerpt)

But oh my son, if I’d only known
I’d have reached right in to your dark night’s soul–

I would have held on,
I would have clutched you,
I would have never let you go

But you told me
“Mom I love you”
Oh my child, if I’d only known.

Beth Brown, excerpt from "Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon": A Poem About Losing a Child to Suicide

Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message

Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message captures the profound sorrow of losing a child to suicide. Through vivid imagery, it honors the enduring love between parent and child, providing solace and hope for reunion. The poem is a poignant tribute to Brown’s son, Dylan, where the author remembers her son’s growing-up years, both cherished memories and moments where “If I’d Only Known” echo in her refrain. A powerful poem for parents who have lost a child to suicide.

The Emotional Depth of “Beat Still My Heart”: A Powerful Elegy

The Emotional Depth of ‘Beat Still My Heart’: A Powerful Elegy explores the deep emotional journey of losing a child to suicide. This poignant reflection through poetry captures the sorrow and despair of such a loss, blending personal experiences with universal themes of love and remembrance.The author navigates grief with verses that resonate, inviting readers to confront raw emotions and unanswered questions. Vivid imagery of a shipwreck in a storm encapsulates the unbearable loss, making the elegy a powerful tribute to a tragic experience.

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“Sorrow Buried in Love”: A Poem for Grieving Parents

“Sorrow Buried in Love”: A Poem for Grieving Parents explores the heart-wrenching journey of a parent grappling with the profound loss of a child to suicide. While friends and family often offer encouragement towards healing, those who have walked this painful path understand how overwhelming these expectations can be. Moving forward is not just about progressing in life; it also involves cherishing and carrying our child’s memory within us, honoring their presence in all we do.

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“Bury My Heart”: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss

Bury My Heart: A Grief Poem of Unimaginable Loss is a poignant poem that captures the deep sorrow of losing a child, an agonizing experience that many parents fear but few can truly comprehend until faced with such a heartbreaking reality. It weaves themes of grief, hope, and healing into a tapestry of emotions, allowing readers to navigate their own journeys of despair and recovery. The poem provides not only an outlet for those grappling with this unimaginable pain but also serves as a powerful reminder that they are not alone in their struggles.

Haunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling”

Haunted by Guilt in Grief Poem: “Still from Sky I’m Falling“ shares a profoundly personal journey through the heart-wrenching experience of grief and guilt following the tragic loss of a child to suicide, featuring the poignant poem “Still from Sky I’m Falling.” Interlacing the deep sorrow of loss with the haunting feelings of remorse, the author creates a poem deep with heartfelt reflections that offer a glimpse into the overwhelming emotional struggle and the fragile path towards healing that follow such an unimaginable tragedy.

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“Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay”: A Poem on Suicide Loss

Holding True to My Son’s Narrative: “Shaped by Love” Poem Analysis examines the profound connection between love and grief experienced after the heartbreaking loss of her son to suicide. The poem beautifully conveys the author’s steadfast commitment to honor her journey of grief, affirming her right to experience her emotions fully and illustrating the deep intertwining of love and sorrow. Through evocative imagery, “Shaped by Love and This Grief Come to Stay” poignantly expresses the complicated feelings that accompany such a significant and painful loss.

If only a mother’s love could have saved you,
Could have heard in the dark your heart’s cry,
She could have saved you yet both together,
Falling stars in a moonless sky.   

Beth Brown, “If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”: A Poem on Grieving a Child's Suicide, My Forever Son

“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”: Powerful Poem

If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You: Powerful Poem explores the deep emotional pain of losing a child to suicide. The author conveys their experience through poignant verses that depict the raw essence of grief, reflecting the complex emotions of sorrow and longing. The heartfelt language serves as a reminder of enduring love in the face of unimaginable loss.

When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand”

When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand” explores the complexities of suicide and includes a compassionate treatise written by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” challenging the notion that it is a choice. The treatise, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” emphasizes the inevitability of death, regardless of the cause, and the limitations of love in preventing it. The author of the treatise “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand” and this article, “When Love Isn’t Enough,” Beth Brown shares her personal journey of grief after losing her son to suicide, finding solace in writing and nature photography.

Healing Words: Download 3 Compassionate Poems for Coping with the Loss of a Child

Embracing Grief: A Poetic Journey of Love

Have you ever considered how your story might connect with others? We encourage you to share how you have embraced your grief and how it reflects the deep love you have for your child. Your experience can powerfully show how love and loss are connected, inspiring others on their journeys.

• Reflect on your experiences: How have you embraced your grief? How does your grief reflect the deep love you have for your child?

Sharing your story can be a meaningful step in your healing journey. Reach out, and let’s transform your grief into a narrative that inspires and uplifts.

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Professional Resources

Parents of Suicides: An Online Support Group for Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide

Suicide is the anchor point on a continuum of suicidal thoughts & behaviors. This continuum is one that ranges from risk-taking behaviors at one end, extends through different degrees & types of suicidal thinking, & ends with suicide attempts and suicide.  

Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, National Library of Medicine

Parents of Suicides is a dedicated international online closed email group where parents who have lost a child to suicide come together to offer support, hope, and healing. Join a Community of Understanding. Parents of Suicides (PoS) provides a safe space for sharing experiences, coping mechanisms, and emotional support. You are not alone in this journey. Together, we can find strength and solace.

Professional Resources and Support

Parents of Suicides is a compassionate, international online community for parents who have tragically lost a child to suicide, providing a safe space for support, connection, and resources to aid in their healing journey.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is a compassionate nonprofit organization devoted to saving lives and offering hope to individuals and families impacted by the profound pain of suicide.

Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors offers compassionate healing support for those navigating the profound shock, heart-wrenching grief, and intricate emotions that arise from losing a cherished loved one to suicide.

The American Association of Suicidology is a compassionate membership organization dedicated to deepening our understanding of suicide and working tirelessly to prevent it, fostering hope and healing for those affected.

Nationwide Children’s Hospital Suicide Research Center is dedicated to conducting compassionate research focused on understanding and reducing suicidal behaviors, as well as providing valuable insights to prevent the profound pain of suicide.

Mayo Clinic offers compassionate insights into the profound sorrow of losing a loved one to suicide, helping us navigate the complex emotions that accompany such grief and providing guidance on finding solace and support during this incredibly challenging time.

The Compassionate Friends provide invaluable Grief Resources & Support Groups for Parents and Families navigating the profound heartache of losing a child, offering comfort and connection during an incredibly difficult time.

Professional Resources

American Association of Suicidology
suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

The Compassionate Friends
compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.

The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.

Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.

LOSS
losscs.org
Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.

Online Resources

Alliance of Hope
allianceofhope.org
Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.

Help Guide
helpguide.org
Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.

Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
pos-ffos.com
An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.

SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.

Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
siblingsurvivors.com
Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.

Finding Professional Care and Support

Find a mental health provider

• afsp.org/FindAMentalHealthProfessional
• findtreatment.samhsa.gov
• mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
• inclusivetherapists.com
• afsp.org/suicide-bereavement-trained-clinicians

Find a provider for prolonged grief

• prolongedgrief.columbia.edu

Find additional resources for marginalized communities

afsp.org/mental-health-resources-for-marginalized-communities

These Suicide Loss Resources (and more) can be accessed in their entirety at The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Suicide Loss Resources.

Support Groups

• Alliance for Hope for suicide loss survivors – https://forum.allianceofhope.org/forums/-/list
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention – https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group
• American Society of Suicidology – https://suicidology.org/resources/suicide-loss-survivors/
• British Columbia Bereavement Helpline, Suicide Grief Support – https://bcbh.ca/grief-support/suicide-grief-support/
• Coalition of Clinician-Survivors – https://www.cliniciansurvivor.org/# 
• Community Support After Suicide (Peachtree Comprehensive Health) – https://www.pchprofessionals.com/community-support-after-suicide  
• Compassionate Friends Loss to Suicide group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/tcflosstosuicide
• Emotions Matter Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Loss Group – https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/bpd-loss-group (note that not all losses are suicide, though many are. All losses have a connection to BPD.)
• Friends and Families of Suicide (FFOS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/ffos.htm
• Friends for Survival – https://friendsforsurvival.org/
• Heartbeat: Grief Support Following Suicide – https://www.heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org/services
• Helping Parents Heal: Special Interest Group -Moving Forward After Suicide – https://www.helpingparentsheal.org/affiliate-groups/special-interest-groups/ (note that Helping Parents Heal “goes a step beyond other groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and afterlife evidence—in a non-dogmatic way.  HPH affiliate groups welcome everyone regardless of religious or non-religious background and encourage open dialog.”)
• Long Island Survivors of Suicide – https://lisos.org/ 
• The Lounge – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/about-4 
• Parents of Suicide (POS) – https://www.pos-ffos.com/groups/pos.htm
• Sail to Heal – https://www.sail2heal.org/ 
• Smile through the Storms – https://www.smilethroughthestorms.com/ 
• Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE) – https://save.org/save-support-groups/
• Working on My Grief  – https://www.workingonmygrief.com/ 

Books for Understanding Suicide And Mental Health

An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1995. In this memoir, an international authority on Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder describes her own struggle since adolescence with the disorder, and how it has shaped her life.

Darkness Visible
William Styron, Random House, 1990. A powerful and moving first-hand account of what depression feels like to the sufferer.

Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope with the Death of a Child to Suicide or Drugs
William Feigelman, Ph.D., John Jordan, Ph.D., John McIntosh, Ph.D., Beverly Feigelman, LCSW, Springer Publishing, 2012. This book provides useful avenues for future research on suicide loss and offers new insights into the grief process that follows the death of a child, both in the short term and years after a loss.  Please note that, given its academic tone, the book is better suited to clinicians and educators than to recently bereaved lay readers.

Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1999. Kay Redfield Jamison’s in-depth psychological and scientific exploration of suicide traces the network of reasons underlying suicide, including the factors that interact to cause suicide, and outlines the evolving treatments available through modern medicine.

The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
Andrew Solomon, Scribner, 2001.Winner of the National Book Award, this book shares the author’s story of chronic depression, and places depression in a broader social context.

Why People Die by Suicide
Thomas Joiner, Ph.D., Harvard University Press, 2005.
Drawing on extensive clinical and epidemiological evidence, as well as personal experience, the author, who lost his father to suicide, identifies three factors that mark those most at risk of considering, attempting, or dying by suicide.

Recommended Reading

Book Recommendation: ‘A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief’ by Jeffrey Jackson, providing support for survivors of suicide loss, My Forever Son

Books

• Beal, Karyl Chastain (2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018). Faces of Suicide, Volumes One to Five.
• Brown, Beth (2023) Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
• Cacciatore, Joanne (2017). Bearing the Unbearable. Wisdom Publications.
• Clark, Ann (2020). Gone to Suicide. A mom’s truth on heartbreak, transformation and prevention. Iuniverse.
• Collins, Eileen Vorbach (2023). Love in the Archives. a patchwork of true stories about suicide loss. Apprentice House Press.
• Cross, Tracey (2013). Suicide among gifted children and adolescents. Understanding the suicidal mind. Prufrock Press.
• Dougy Center, The (2001). After a Suicide: An Activity Book for Grieving Kids. Dougy Center.
• Estes, Clarissa Pinkola (1988). The Faithful Gardener. HarperCollinsSanFrancisco.
• Fine, Carla (1997). No Time to Say Goodbye. Surviving the suicide of a loved one. Broadway Books.
• Heilmann, Lena M.Q. (2019). Still with Us. Voices of Sibling Suicide Loss Survivors. BDI Publishers.
• Hickman, Martha Whitmore (1994). Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. William Morrow Paperbacks
• Jamison, Kay Redfield (2000). Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. Vintage.
• Johnson, Julie Tallard (1994). Hidden Victims, Hidden Healers. An eight-stage healing process for families and friends of the mentally ill. Pema Publications.
• Joiner, Thomas (2005). Why People Die by Suicide. Harvard University Press
• Joiner, Thomas (2010). Myths About Suicide. Harvard University Press.
• Kushner, Harold S. (2004). When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Anchor Books
• O’Connor, Mary-Francis (2022). The Grieving Brain. HarperOne.
• Rasmussen, Christina (2019). Second Firsts. Hay House Inc.
• Shapiro, Larry (2020). Brain Pain. Giving insight to children who have lost a family member or a loved one to suicide. Safe Haven Books.
• Wickersham, Julie (2009). The Suicide Index: Putting My Father’s Death in Order. Mariner Books.

Memorial Sites

• Faces of Suicide – memorial site for those who died by suicide –  https://www.facesofsuicide.com/
• Suicide Memorial Wall – tribute site for those who died by suicide – https://www.suicidememorialwall.com/

Healing Words: Download 3 Compassionate Poems for Coping with the Loss of a Child

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