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Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide

A close-up of vibrant red roses in full bloom, surrounded by lush green leaves, symbolize love and remembrance in the journey of grief, My Forever Son, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide
Blooming red roses symbolize love and remembrance in the journey of grief, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide

Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide

Key Takeaways

  • In this post, Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide the author provides answers for frequently asked questions about this transitional year of grief.
  • Her blog, ‘My Forever Son,’ offers resources, insights, and connections for those experiencing similar losses.
  • In the third year, parents often transition toward rebuilding their lives while embracing both love and pain for their lost child.
  • Creative expression and honoring memories play a crucial role in navigating the ongoing grief process.
  • The experience highlights the importance of support, self-compassion, and finding hope amidst heartache.

Summary

Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide offers insights into three years after losing a child to suicide where grief oftentimes transitions from acute anguish to a more integrated sorrow, where love and loss coexist. This “year of transition” involves rebuilding one’s life while navigating waves of sadness and longing. Parents can find healing by seeking support, acknowledging their grief, and honoring their child’s memory.

A close-up of a flower pot filled with vibrant pink and white flowers, surrounded by fallen leaves, with a stone lion statue and yellow flowers visible in the background, symbolizes the coexistence of love and grief as a mother navigates her journey of healing, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide
A beautiful pot of flowers symbolizes the coexistence of love and grief as a mother navigates her journey of healing, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide

Introduction

Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide addresses frequently asked questions about grief in the third year after losing a child, providing valuable insights into the ongoing journey of healing and remembrance. During this time, many parents find themselves navigating a complex landscape of emotions, grappling with profound sadness while also seeking ways to honor their child’s memory.

The author, who lost her son to suicide, shares her personal experiences and reflections in Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Suicide Loss of a Child, offering readers a heartfelt perspective on how grief evolves over time. She explores the subtle changes that can occur in the grieving process, emphasizing the importance of community support, self-compassion, and finding meaning in the aftermath of such a devastating loss.

About My Forever Son blog

Beth Brown, a mother who lost her son, her only child Dylan, to suicide, shares her grief journey through her blog, “My Forever Son.” The blog offers resources, poems, and personal reflections on grief, hope, and healing, aiming to connect with others experiencing similar losses. Brown emphasizes the importance of embracing both ache and love in the healing process, highlighting the enduring power of love amidst heartache.

A Note from the Author

Sometimes I am surprised by how grief has settled into the background of my days, steady and familiar. Three years in, I find memories come and go—some gentle, some still sharp—but they carry with them a kind of quiet comfort, reminding me how deeply I love.

There are moments when sorrow catches me off guard, but there are just as many when hope finds its way in: sunlight across the table, a laugh with a friend, or a flower blooming in the yard. I am learning to hold both longing and gratitude, letting my heart honor what was lost by caring for what remains close.

    My Forever Son

    My Forever Son explores the profound grief, hope, and healing that follow the tragedy of losing a child to suicide.

    My Forever Son dovetails the author’s journey of descending into deep grief, searching for hope, and finding healing along the way.

    Table of Contents

      A close-up image of vibrant yellow flowers among green leaves, showcasing fresh blooms and some with droplets of water, indicating a recent rainfall, representing hope and renewal amidst grief, Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide
      A vibrant display of yellow flowers representing hope and renewal amidst grief, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide

      A Parent’s Grief After a Child’s Suicide

      Parents who lose a child to suicide face unique emotional challenges, including intense self-blame, isolation, and a search for meaning. 

      Derek Sienko, Chief Mental Health Officer / Chief Executive Officer | Military Psychology, “A Parent’s Grief After a Child’s Suicide“


      Understanding and Healing Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide

      Grieving the Loss of a Child to Suicide: Understanding and Healing

      Losing a child is a devastating experience, and when the loss is due to suicide, the grief is often intensified by shock, guilt, and stigma.. . .Parents who lose a child to suicide face unique emotional challenges, including intense self-blame, isolation, and a search for meaning.

      The Unique Nature of Suicide Bereavement

      Grief following suicide is complex and multidimensional. Unlike other forms of bereavement, it often involves persistent questions of “why” and feelings of failure or shame. A Canadian study by Thernstrom et al. (2021) found that parents bereaved by suicide are at significantly greater risk for prolonged grief disorder and posttraumatic stress symptoms compared to parents who lose children to illness or accidents.

      Social stigma surrounding suicide can exacerbate feelings of isolation. Many parents report that friends and family avoid discussing the death, leaving them to grieve in silence. This phenomenon, known as disenfranchised grief, contributes to poorer mental health outcomes and delays in healing (Bell, 2014). Canadian literature emphasizes that parents are often reluctant to seek help for fear of being judged or misunderstood by professionals unfamiliar with suicide loss (Fristad, 2015).

      Strategies for Coping and Healing

      In addition to clinical support and peer connection, building psychological resilience can support long-term healing. Dr. Lucy Hone, a New Zealand-based resilience researcher and bereaved parent herself, outlines three evidence-based strategies that can help parents cope with traumatic loss (Hone, 2016): Full Video https://youtu.be/NWH8N-BvhAw?si=ya7SmSNYGyTPlm3v

      1. Accept That Suffering Is Part of Life

      Resilient people understand that adversity is part of human experience. Recognizing this can help bereaved parents feel less isolated and reduce the sense that they have been unfairly targeted by tragedy (Hone, 2016; CASP, 2022).

      2. Choose Where You Focus Your Attention

      While the loss is ever-present, deliberately focusing on what remains, relationships, support, and cherished memories, can build hope. This form of mental flexibility has been shown to support emotional regulation and recovery (Sareen et al., 2019).

      3. Ask: “Is What I’m Doing Helping or Harming Me?”

      This reflective question can guide behaviour and thought patterns during moments of distress. It empowers parents to choose helpful over harmful responses, even in times of deep grief (Hone, 2016).

      Derek Sienko, Chief Mental Health Officer / Chief Executive Officer | Military Psychology, “A Parent’s Grief After a Child’s Suicide“

      What challenges do bereaved parents of suicide loss face in the third year after losing a child?

      The acute pain and shock of the initial loss may have subsided, but anniversaries and holidays can still be particularly difficult, bringing back intense emotions. A mother may find herself revisiting cherished memories, and while these can bring a measure of comfort, they can also highlight the profound emptiness left by her son’s absence.

      Moving Toward Healing

      While the pain of losing a child never truly disappears, healing becomes possible when grief is acknowledged, resilience is nurtured, and support is embraced. As Lucy Hone reminds us, “You can grieve and live fully at the same time.” By integrating resilience practices with professional and community-based support and with the enduring presence of friends and family bereaved parents can begin to carry their child’s memory forward with strength, compassion, and hope.

      Derek Sienko, Chief Mental Health Officer / Chief Executive Officer | Military Psychology
      “A Parent’s Grief After a Child’s Suicide“

      Walking Alongside Grief

      Some mothers describe a sense of walking alongside grief, as if it has become a steady and familiar companion. This doesn’t mean the grief is “over,” but rather that its presence may have settled into the background of daily life, influencing moments of joy and sorrow alike.

      Realization that Life Continues

      There can be a realization that life must continue, even with the immense pain, and a gradual effort to rebuild and move forward, which often requires an exploration of one’s emotions and an acceptance of the changes that have occurred.

      This journey of healing may involve seeking support from friends and family or professional guidance, allowing individuals to express their feelings in a safe environment. It might also include engaging in new activities or rediscovering old passions that reignite a sense of joy and fulfillment, even if it feels different from before.

      Embracing both ache and love

      Parents who have lost a child to suicide often talk about carrying both the ache of loss and the enduring love for their child, a duality that can be incredibly difficult to navigate in everyday life. This profound experience might mean finding solace in creative expression, like writing or music, as a therapeutic outlet to channel their grief into something beautiful and meaningful.

      [Suggested Reading]: Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief After Suicide Loss reflects on the author’s heartbreaking journey after losing her son to suicide, a tragedy that has profoundly altered her life. This narrative captures the relentless sorrow and the complexities of grief, love, and the search for meaning in a changed world. It illustrates her enduring love for her son and how that love shapes her existence amid despair, inviting readers to consider the universal themes of love and loss that connect us all.

      Honoring your child’s memory

      Additionally, parents may engage in various activities that honor their child’s memory, such as creating memorials, participating in community support groups, or advocating for mental health awareness. These endeavors not only help keep the spirit of their child alive but also provide a sense of purpose in coping with their profound sorrow. Each day may present new challenges, but the enduring love they hold serves as a guiding light, reminding them that their child’s impact continues to resonate in their lives and the lives of others.

      The experience of loss can also lead to a deeper empathy for others facing similar struggles, as those who have endured such heartache often develop a profound understanding of grief’s complexities. Many parents find solace in connecting with other bereaved parents, not only through support groups or online communities but also through sharing personal stories and experiences that resonate on a deeply emotional level.

      Join a support group

      Organizations like The Compassionate Friends provide essential resources and support for families who have lost a child, offering not just guidance and assistance but also a compassionate ear and a safe space for expressing feelings that may be difficult to articulate. In this shared journey of healing, the bonds formed often become a source of strength and hope, encouraging each parent to honor their child’s memory while finding pathways to navigate their grief with understanding and care.

      Finding strength and hope

      While the pain of losing a child may never truly disappear, parents in their third year of grief may find moments of hope and healing. This can involve reflecting on the lessons learned from their child’s life and loss, and finding ways to carry those lessons forward into their daily existence. The journey through grief is often fraught with challenges, yet it can also lead to profound personal growth and deeper connections with others.

      Embracing the joy that their child brought into the world, alongside the sorrow

      In this phase of grief, parents may begin to recognize that although their child is no longer physically present, the love and memories they shared can still influence their lives in meaningful ways. Embracing the joy that their child brought into the world, alongside the sorrow, can help create a more balanced perspective on their loss. It is in these moments of reflection that parents might discover new ways to celebrate their child’s life, whether through creating memorials, participating in activities that honor their memory, or sharing stories that keep their spirit alive within their families and communities.

      Everyone grieves in their own way

      Moreover, it is important to emphasize that everyone grieves in their own way, and there is no timeline or “right” way to navigate the loss of a child. Each person’s experience is unique, and comparison with others can lead to feelings of inadequacy or isolation. The focus should be on self-compassion, allowing oneself to feel the full spectrum of emotions without judgment. Seeking support when needed—whether from friends, family, or support groups—can be crucial in not feeling alone on this painful journey.

      Finding new traditions to honor your child’s life

      Finding ways to honor the memory of the loved one while continuing to live is a vital component of healing. This might mean finding new traditions to observe on special dates that honor their child’s life, or engaging in volunteer work that reflects the passions or values of the child. It can also involve sharing their story with others, creating art, or simply cultivating moments of mindfulness that foster connection with their child’s spirit.

      Ultimately, while the journey through grief may not follow a linear path, parents may gradually uncover new sources of strength and resilience as they learn to navigate life in the aftermath of such profound loss. It is a testament to the enduring nature of love, and the ways in which it can shape lives, even in the face of overwhelming heartache.

      A magnifying glass positioned over the text 'Frequently asked Questions' on a white background, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide
      Exploring key aspects of grief three years after losing a child, including the coexistence of love and ache, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide

        Frequently Asked Questions About Understanding Grief: 3 Years After Losing a Child to Suicide

        What are the Key Aspects of Year 3 Grief After Losing a Child?

        Reflecting on the third year of grieving a child often involves navigating the shift from acute pain to a more integrated, yet still profound, sorrow where love and loss coexist, marked by new challenges like rebuilding life and finding ongoing hope amidst ongoing memories and moments of both joy and sadness. It’s a period of intense internal change, where the deep wound of loss continues to heal, though it never fully closes. 

        Key Aspects of Year 3 Grief

        Coexistence of Love and Ache: The deep, enduring love for the child remains, intertwining with the ache of their absence, rather than one replacing the other. 
        Rebuilding and Transition: This year is sometimes called “the year of transition,” where the initial shock fades, and the focus shifts to beginning to rebuild your life while still experiencing powerful waves of sadness and yearning. 
        Finding Hope and Beauty: For some, this period brings a renewed appreciation for life’s simple beauties, like the changing seasons in nature, which can offer a profound sense of hope and connection. 
        Ongoing Nature of Grief: While grief may change in its intensity, the loss of a child remains a permanent part of a parent’s reality, with the healing process being long and ongoing. 
        Importance of Support and Rituals: Connecting with other bereaved parents, engaging in self-care, and creating new rituals are vital for coping with this complex stage of grief. 

        Read more about Carrying Ache and Love: Healing Longterm Grief After Suicide Loss where the author recounts her profound grief and struggle to find meaning after losing her son to suicide. She describes the intense physical and emotional pain she endured, feeling hopeless and alone. Seeking support from online groups and researching suicide, she gradually found solace and a way to move forward, carrying both ache and love for her son.

        Bright pink phlox cascading over a few large rocks at water's edge of a water pond, My Forever Son, Top Healing Strategies for Parents After Child's Suicide

        How to Navigate Your Grief Journey in Year 3?

        Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from others, particularly from communities of parents who have experienced child loss. 
        Acknowledge the Intensity: Understand that grief doesn’t follow a linear path; it’s normal to have upsurges of sadness and intense feelings of missing your child.
        Embrace the Complexity: Allow yourself to feel both the profound sadness of your child’s absence and the deep love you still hold for them. 
        Find Your Anchors: Discover what brings you moments of peace and beauty, whether it’s nature, a special memory, or the support of other grieving parents. 

        Read more about Navigating Grief: Three Years After Losing My Son to Suicide, a collection of reflections and resources documenting the author’s journey through grief after losing her son, Dylan, to suicide. The blog offers comfort, practical guidance, and hope to those navigating bereavement, sharing stories of love, remembrance, and the enduring bond between mother and son. Through poems, articles, and resources, the author aims to create a compassionate community for grieving parents.

        Grieving a Child: Year 3 Reflections on Love and Loss

        Entering the third year after the loss of a child can be a period of significant transition in the grief journey, where the initial intense pain shifts into a deeper, more permanent ache. While the sharpest agony may subside, the void of your child’s absence remains palpable, and reflections often center on the enduring nature of love amidst a forever-changed life.

        Read more about Healing After Loss: 3 Years of Grieving My Son which unfolds the pages of the author’s journals from the third year after experiencing the unimaginable pain of losing her son to suicide. In this heartfelt collection of year three grief reflections, author Beth Brown expresses her deepest thoughts and reflections, offering an intimate look into the overwhelming sorrow of her grief and her earnest search for healing. Each entry powerfully conveys the depths of her sadness, the difficult journey toward acceptance, and the unexpected moments of hope and healing along the way.
        Peach flowering quince in bloom in spring, My Forever Son, "That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back": Guilt in Grief Poem

        Why is Year Three Grief a Turning Point for Parents Who Lose a Child?

        For many bereaved parents, the third year marks a shift away from survival mode and toward a new kind of existence. This “year of transition” often involves:

        Gradually returning to life: After being consumed by acute sorrow, many people find themselves re-engaging with the world. This can be a gradual and difficult process that feels wobbly and uncertain.
        The coexistence of ache and love: The profound love for your child is not diminished by their absence. In the third year, you may find that the permanent ache of their loss and the cherished love for them begin to walk hand-in-hand.
        Embracing quiet tears: Instead of the overwhelming sobs of early grief, tears may become quieter and more reflective. They are no less full of love but are often mixed with a deeper sense of acceptance of the “cold truth” of your child’s loss.

        Honoring a legacy of love

        Amidst the ongoing pain, the third year is a time for finding meaningful ways to honor your child’s memory and ensure their love and impact endure.
        Finding your voice again: Writing can be a powerful tool for navigating emotions and expressing how your life has been transformed by the loss. A blog, journal, or poetry can help you process your journey and, in sharing, provide comfort to others.
        Carrying them forward: Instead of trying to “move on,” many parents learn to “move with” their grief. They carry their child’s legacy and the best parts of their memory with them, fighting to honor their life by continuing to live their own.
        Finding hope in unexpected moments: Glimpses of hope and moments of joy can feel surprising and even confusing in this stage of grief. Some find peace and steadfastness by connecting with nature, watching the seasons change as a reminder of life’s continuity.

        Enduring pain and a forever-changed world

        Even with gradual healing, the third year’s reflections also acknowledge the profound, permanent change to your world.

        A “new version” of yourself: Grief destroys a person’s prior sense of self. The third year may involve wrestling with who you are now and navigating a world that feels completely different.
        Remembering milestones: You may find yourself reflecting on all the moments that should have been—birthdays, holidays, graduations, and other milestones that feel incomplete without your son.
        The pain still surfaces: The third year is not the end of grief, and sharp reminders of the loss can appear at any time. It’s important to allow the pain to come and move through you, rather than fighting it.

        Acknowledge the experience

        For those reflecting on this milestone, here are some thoughts from others who have walked this path:

        “Grief lasts forever because love lasts forever.”
        “Your healing will also be unique. Ride out every wave and know that the intensity of the hit may change.”
        “It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly… you learn to dance with the limp.”

        Read the author’s personal reflections about how grief in year three affects parents here: Three Years of Grief and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide is a profoundly touching collection of journals from the author’s journey through the complexities of grief, hope, and healing, marking three long years since losing her only child, her son Dylan, to suicide.

        What challenges do bereaved parents face in the third year after losing a child?


        For parents grieving the loss of a child, the third year often presents a unique set of challenges that differ from the initial phases of acute mourning. As the shock subsides and the world expects life to “return to normal,” bereaved parents must navigate a profound personal transformation while carrying the invisible weight of their grief. This period is often described as a “year of transition” and can be exceptionally challenging.

        Internal challenges: Rebuilding a new identity

        A fragmented identity: A parent’s identity is inextricably linked to their child. The third year involves a difficult process of figuring out who you are now that your child is gone. The person you were before the loss no longer exists, and you may not yet have a clear picture of who you are becoming.
        Struggling with the passage of time: While the initial grief can feel like an all-consuming fight for survival, the third year brings a jarring awareness of time continuing without your child. Seeing their friends meet milestones your child never will can be incredibly painful.
        The guilt of joy: Experiencing moments of happiness, laughter, or peace can bring on powerful waves of guilt. Parents may feel as if finding joy is a betrayal of their child’s memory or a sign that they are “moving on” too quickly.
        Lingering psychological and physical toll: Bereaved parents may still grapple with the long-term effects of trauma, including depression, anxiety, fatigue, and physical health problems. Many parents report a lower sense of purpose in life years after their child’s death. 

        Social and relational challenges: Feeling misunderstood

        Decreased support from others: Over time, friends and extended family members often check in less frequently and may expect you to be “over it”. This can lead to increased feelings of loneliness and isolation, as the support system that was present early on begins to fade.
        Misguided expectations from society: The world has a poor understanding of what it means to lose a child. Bereaved parents are often met with painful, ignorant comments like “You’re still not over it?” or “When are you going to get back to your normal self?”.
        Discordant grieving with a partner: A couple’s grief often differs in intensity and expression. One parent might want to openly express emotions, while the other withdraws or uses a solution-focused approach. This discordant coping can lead to communication breakdowns and tension, which can strain the relationship.
        Navigating surviving siblings’ grief: Grieving parents must also cope with the needs and emotions of their other children, who are grieving in their own unique ways. Parents might become overprotective or, conversely, be emotionally unavailable, which can complicate the siblings’ healing and family dynamics. 

        Read more about third year grief here: “I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing”: A Journey Through Grief shares the author’s heartfelt journals from her third year of navigating the profound pain of losing her son, illuminating the emotional landscape of healing. Additional links on the third year of grief offer reflections on this challenging journey. The article conveys the deeply personal experiences of sorrow and healing that arise three years after losing a child to suicide. Through her poignant writing, nurturing gardening, and cherished memories, the author opens her heart, providing invaluable resources for those grappling with their own grief and guilt.


        One Last Mother's Day card with mother and baby photograph, My Forever Son

        How is Grief Different for Parents at Three Years?

        “In the third year after a child’s death by suicide, parents continue to grieve deeply, but the intense acute grief may begin to subside, allowing for a transition toward rebuilding life, even with lingering sadness. While the specifics of the death do not significantly alter this timing, the process is lengthy, and parents may still experience waves of emotion and find solace in support groups and by giving back to the suicide loss community.”

        ” Guilt, anger, and the need to process the specific circumstances of the suicide can be prominent emotions, making support from other survivors and therapeutic resources invaluable. “

        Emotional Landscape

        Lingering Sadness:
        You will still experience sadness and yearn for your child, but these feelings may be less overwhelming than in the earlier years. 
        Waves of Emotion:
        Be prepared for emotional “waves” that may still be triggered by places, events, or occasions. 
        Guilt and Anger
        It’s common to feel guilt or anger, questioning what could have been done differently. It helps to remember your child’s pain was the reason for their actions, not to hurt you. 
        Isolation: 
        Even with a strong support system, the grief journey is often a lonely experience, as everyone processes the loss differently. 

        Key Milestones and Challenges

        The Year of Transition: 
        The third year is often described as a time of transition where rebuilding your life begins, but it doesn’t mean the loss is resolved. 
        Putting Death Into Perspective
        For many parents, this period can mark a turning point for putting the death into perspective and continuing with their lives. 
        Long-Term Nature of Suicide Bereavement: 
        Research shows that the grief following a suicide loss can be particularly prolonged, with some studies indicating it can take four to five years for acute difficulties to subside. 

        Strategies for Healing

        Seek Support: Connect with support groups like those run by the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors and organizations like the AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention) for peer support and to connect with others who understand your loss. 
        Self-Care: Prioritize self-care and self-compassion. 
        Process Emotions: Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself time to process the loss. 
        Incorporate Positive Memories: Focus on positive memories and the love your child shared to help incorporate their memory into your life. 
        Consider Giving Back: Once you’ve processed your loss, consider volunteering or getting involved with local suicide loss organizations. 

        Finding Immediate Support Resources for Suicide Loss Survivors provides a comprehensive list of support resources, books for grieving a suicide loss, and poetry about losing a child to suicide. It aims to guide individuals through the complex emotions that often accompany such a tragic loss, offering a safe space where they can find both solace and understanding. The curated selection includes not only literature that addresses the multifaceted nature of grief but also practical suggestions for coping mechanisms, support groups, and online forums where survivors can share their experiences.

        What is parental grief like in year three after child loss to suicide?


        In the third year after a child’s suicide, 
        parents are typically moving from the acute, crisis-driven stage of grief toward a longer-term, transitional phase. While the initial shock and intensity of emotions may have subsided, grieving parents continue to face profound challenges associated with the unique trauma of suicide. The experience is a permanent part of their identity, and they often must learn how to rebuild their lives and find a new normal. 

        Core aspects of grief in year three

        Lingering psychological distress: Parents may still grapple with symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and they may be at a higher risk for prolonged grief disorder. One study found that most bereaved parents who experience a depressive episode do so within the first three years of the loss.
        The “year of transition”: The third year is often marked by the difficult process of consciously rebuilding a life altered forever by the loss. The raw, constant pangs of grief become less prominent, but powerful surges of sadness, yearning, and missing the child continue to occur.
        Persistent “what if” questions: The search for meaning and understanding remains a central theme, as parents continue to ruminate on the “why.” They may re-examine the past, looking for missed signs, but must eventually accept that there may be no clear or satisfying answer.
        Survivor’s guilt and responsibility: Feelings of guilt are especially acute and long-lasting for parents who have lost a child to suicide, often greater than for spouses or children of the deceased. Parents may be burdened by a sense of failure, thinking “if only I had…” They must eventually process that their child’s choice was not their responsibility.
        Family and relational dynamics: The loss places immense stress on a family. Research shows continued marital distress and a higher divorce rate among bereaved parents. Discordant coping styles—such as one parent wanting to talk while the other withdraws—can drive a wedge between partners. The family’s equilibrium is fundamentally shifted as they try to support one another while grieving individually.
        Social isolation and stigma: Many survivors of suicide loss feel isolated because of the stigma associated with suicide. Family and friends may stop mentioning the deceased, fearing they will cause pain. This “disenfranchised grief” can lead parents to feel misunderstood and alone in their pain, even years later.
        Memorialization and meaning-making: Over time, parents often shift their focus toward finding new ways to honor their child’s memory. This can involve creating memorials, engaging in advocacy, or participating in charitable initiatives. This process of giving the loss a new purpose helps with long-term healing. 

        Challenges and coping in the third year

        Managing expectations: Grieving parents are often told, or feel, that they should be “over it” by now. The pressure to function and appear “normal” can cause them to hide their true emotions. It is important for parents to know that healing has its own pace and that setbacks are normal.
        Anniversaries and holidays: Special occasions, holidays, and the anniversary of the child’s death can still be intensely painful triggers, reigniting the intense emotions of acute grief.
        Physical and mental health: Long-term grief can take a physical toll, increasing the risk of stress-related health problems. Staying connected to support systems and maintaining self-care habits are vital for physical and mental well-being. 

        Support resources

        Professional help: A grief counselor or therapist specializing in suicide bereavement can help process guilt, trauma, and complex emotions. Complicated Grief Therapy (CGT) can be especially effective.
        Peer support groups: Connecting with other survivors who have experienced a similar loss can combat isolation and create a sense of belonging. The Compassionate Friends and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) offer resources specifically for bereaved parents.
        Self-care: Taking care of basic needs like rest, nutrition, and exercise can provide a foundation for coping. It is also important to give oneself permission to feel emotions without judgment.
        988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Immediate support is available by calling or texting 988. 

        When Love Isn’t Enough: “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand” explores the complexities of suicide and includes a compassionate treatise written by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” challenging the notion that it is a choice. The treatise, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand,” emphasizes the inevitability of death, regardless of the cause, and the limitations of love in preventing it. The author of the treatise “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand” and this article, “When Love Isn’t Enough,” Beth Brown shares her personal journey of grief after losing her son to suicide, finding solace in writing and nature photography.

        Do Parents Ever Recover from Losing a Child?


        Parents typically do not “recover” or get over the death of a child, but rather learn to adapt to a life without them, integrating the loss into their lives and finding a new sense of purpose and meaning. This is an ongoing journey of lifelong grief, which evolves from raw pain to a more manageable, yet persistent, sorrow. The goal isn’t to forget, but to find a way to live with the void, keep the child’s memory alive, and eventually, achieve a degree of acceptance and peace.


        Understanding the Nature of This Grief

        Persistent, Not Temporary: Unlike other forms of grief, losing a child creates a profound, enduring loss that often lasts for the rest of a parent’s life. 
        Adapting, Not Overcoming: The process involves adapting to a changed world and finding a way to live with the irreplaceable loss, rather than completely erasing the pain. 
        A Scar, Not a Wound: The pain may ease over time, but a scar—a reminder of the loss—remains, changing the parent’s life forever. 

        Pathways to Adaptation and Healing

        Find Meaning: Finding a new sense of purpose and meaning for both the deceased child’s life and the parent’s own life can be crucial for healing. 
        Separate Memories from Pain: Parents may learn to separate the painful memories of the child’s death from the joyful memories of the child’s life. 
        Seek Support: Connecting with other bereaved parents, therapists, or support groups can provide invaluable help in navigating this difficult journey. 
        Prioritize Self-Care: Engaging in routines, like work, exercise, and socializing, can help provide stability and a sense of purpose. 
        Embrace New Forms of the Relationship: The parent-child relationship can take on new forms as parents find new ways to connect with and remember their child. 

        What to Expect

        A “New Normal”: The parent will fall into a new routine and a new way of living, carrying the child’s memory with them. 
        Pangs of Sadness:         There will still be times of sadness, loss, and despair, but these may become less raw and intense over time. 
        Personal Journey: The process is unique to each individual and can’t be rushed or defined by a specific timeline. 

        The Grief Journey of a Bereaved Parent

        Grief is not a linear process with a clear endpoint for anyone. And still, many wonder if parents who’ve lost a child ever recover from their tragedy and overcome their grief.

        Studies tell us that up to 94% of parents carry their grief from the loss of their child for the rest of their lives.

        The grief of a bereaved parent is persistent.         It is an ongoing journey of remembering their child and holding on their every memory of them while simultaneously learning to accept and live with an irreplaceable void in their life. 

        Common experiences of a bereaved parent include:

        Intense emotions: Profound sadness, anger, guilt, and even physical pain.
        Identity crisis: Questioning one’s role as a parent.
        Strained relationships: Difficulties connecting with others, including partners.
        Triggers: Birthdays, holidays, and milestones can reignite intense grief.

        15 Essential Grief Tips for Parents After a Child’s Suicide includes valuable tips and insights for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide, offering practical advice on seeking help, connecting with others, and finding ways to cope with grief. The personal experiences and suggestions offer meaningful support for parents dealing with this devastating loss. A comprehensive guide for parents grieving the loss of a child to suicide, this post offers support and resources to help parents who lose a child to suicide navigate this difficult journey. Remember, you are not alone. There is a community of parents who are ready to listen, understand, and support you through this painful chapter of your life.

        What to say and do to support parents who lose a child to suicide?

        Supporting Bereaved Parents

        If you know someone who has lost a child, here are some ways to offer support and let them know you care:

        Listen. Allow them to express their feelings freely and openly without judgment.
        Remember their child. Say their child’s name and share memories.
        Be patient. Grief has no timeline. Continue offering support in the long-term.
        Offer practical help. Help with daily tasks and errands can go a long way.
        Respect their grieving process. Avoid platitudes or pressure to ‘move on’.


        What Not To Say When Someone Loses a Child

        “They’re in a better place now.”
        “At least you have other children.”
        “Everything happens for a reason.”
        “I know how you feel.” (unless you’ve also lost a child)
        “You need to be strong.”
        “It’s time to move on.”
        “At least they didn’t suffer.”
        “You can always have another child.”
        “God needed another angel.”
        “Look on the bright side…”

        What To Say When Someone Loses a Child
        “I’m here for you.”
        “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
        “It’s okay to not be okay.”
        “I’m thinking of you.”
        “[Child’s name] was so loved.”
        “They will always be remembered.”
        “There are no words, but I’m listening if you want to talk.”
        “What do you need right now?”
        “I remember when [child’s name]…” (share a positive memory)
        “Take all the time you need to grieve.”

        Find more compassionate ways to support parents here: What to Say to Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide offers heartfelt insights and guidance for supporting grieving parents during the devastating loss of a child to suicide. Author Beth Brown shares her personal journey and provides essential resources to help others navigate the intricate emotions linked to a suicide loss. The blog, “My Forever Son: Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide,” delves into themes of grief, hope, and healing, creating a compassionate space for sharing stories and finding comfort. Explore meaningful ways to stand by parents facing the unimaginable tragedy of losing a child to suicide, and uncover invaluable advice in this poignant blog post from a mother who has endured such a profound loss.

        Share Your Story

        Share your story of grief in year three:

        As the third year after losing a child unfolds, grief transforms into a complex tapestry of emotions. The initial pain may dull, but the absence remains palpable. Many parents grapple with a new layer of sorrow that is hard to articulate. You may notice unexpected joy mixed with intense longing, as life moves on while an irreplaceable void lingers.

        In this stage, it’s common to reflect on milestones that should have been shared—birthdays, graduations, or simply daily routines that feel incomplete. You might begin to discover what “moving forward” means for you, while still being anchored in the memory of your child.

        What does your experience look like in year three?

        • How have you learned to cope with the ongoing feelings of loss and love during this time?
        • What reflections or memories bring both comfort and sorrow as you navigate this part of your grief journey?

        Navigating Grief: Three Years After Losing My Son

        Close up of A delicate pink flower, a day-lily, adorned with droplets, symbolizing beauty and resilience amidst grief, My Forever Son, Navigating Grief: Three Years After Losing My Son
        A delicate pink flower adorned with droplets, symbolizing beauty and resilience amidst grief, My Forever Son, Navigating Grief: Reflections Three Years After Losing My Son to Suicide, My Forever Son

        Navigating Grief: Reflections Three Years After Losing My Son to Suicide

        Introduction

        Navigating Grief: Reflections Three Years After Losing My Son to Suicide is a deeply heartfelt collection of five poignant blog posts that chronicles my emotional journey through the third year following the tragic loss of my only son, Dylan, to suicide on June 25, 2012. This intimate compilation offers reflections and valuable resources that document a parent’s harrowing experience with overwhelming grief.

        This heartfelt collection of blog posts from year three of my grief offers a profound exploration of sorrow and the healing journey, illuminating stories of love, remembrance, and a connection that transcends the boundaries of death. By sharing both the struggles and transformative experiences, this blog, My Forever Son, aspires to provide solace, practical insights, and a glimmer of hope to those navigating the intricate complexities of grief.

        Navigating Grief: Reflections Three Years After Losing My Son to Suicide powerfully captures the intricate emotions of grief and the slow journey toward healing. During this early phase of grieving, I expressed the profound feelings I endured, alongside the challenging changes I encountered as I learned to navigate life without my cherished son. The three-year mark became a pivotal moment in my grief journey as I slowly began to reclaim my life.

        My Journals: A Journey Through Sorrow and Unexpected Hope

        During this tumultuous time of trying to regain order in my life after the loss of my son to suicide, I grappled with deep grief and confusion. My journals recorded not only my sorrow but also unexpected moments of joy as I navigated a world that felt forever changed.

        I reflected on cherished memories, revisiting the laughter and love we shared, despite the profound emptiness my son’s absence left behind. Writing became a means to navigate my emotions and begin to heal amidst enduring heartbreak.

        Close-up of delicate pink flowers with dewdrops on the petals, set against lush green foliage, symbolizing beauty and resilience in the face of grief, Healing Grief: 3 Years After Losing My Son, My Forever Son
        A close-up of pink flowers adorned with raindrops, symbolizing beauty and resilience in the face of grief, Healing Grief: 3 Years After Losing My Son, My Forever Son

        Healing Grief: 3 Years After Losing My Son

        Healing Grief: 3 Years After Losing My Son is a profoundly touching reflection on the author’s heartfelt journey through the complexities of grief, hope, and healing, marking three long years since the devastating loss of her only child, her son Dylan, to suicide.

        The thoughtfully selected images, many capturing the beauty of the author’s gardens, provide a poignant backdrop that deepens the emotional resonance of her words, inviting readers to connect with their own experiences of sorrow and healing.

        Delicate white blossoms of a Serviceberry symbolizing hope and renewal amidst grief, Healing After Loss: 3 Years of Grieving My Son , My Forever Son
        Delicate white blossoms of a Serviceberry symbolizing hope and renewal amidst grief, Healing After Loss: 3 Years of Grieving My Son , My Forever Son

        Healing After Loss: 3 Years of Grieving My Son

        Healing After Loss: 3 Years of Grieving My Son is another poignant post that comes from the pages of the author’s journals in the third year after losing her son to suicide.

        In this heartfelt post, the author shares her most intimate thoughts and reflections, revealing the profound impact of her loss and the journey towards finding solace. Each entry is a testament to her resilience, capturing the raw emotions of grief, the struggle for acceptance, and the moments of unexpected joy that arise amidst the sorrow after 3 years of losing my son.

        A close-up view of a delicate peach-colored Iris flower, symbolizing resilience and beauty amidst grief, Living Backwards Going Forward-A Grief Journey in Year 3, My Forever Son
        A close-up view of a delicate peach-colored Iris flower, symbolizing resilience and beauty amidst grief, Living Backwards Going Forward-A Grief Journey in Year 3, My Forever Son, as featured in Year 3 of Grief: Reflections from a Mother’s Heart

        Living Backwards Going Forward-A Grief Journey in Year 3: Reflections from a Mother’s Heart

        Living Backwards Going Forward-A Grief Journey in Year 3 compassionately delves into another of the author’s journals during the third year of her grief journey, where she encountered a haunting “sense of the surreal” after the loss of her son to suicide..

        Each day felt trapped in the echo of her son’s memorial date, as cherished memories flooded her heart, prompting deep reflections on her parenting while navigating the relentless waves of sorrow.

        Close-up of pale pink flowers of a peach flowering quince blooming among green leaves in a garden setting, Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss, My Forever Son
        Delicate pink blossoms amidst lush green leaves, symbolizing beauty and resilience in the journey of grief, Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss,My Forever Son

        Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss

        Healing Grief: Embracing Quiet Tears After 3 Years of Loss offers a heartfelt exploration of the profound and painful journey through grief following the heartbreaking loss of my son to suicide.

        The author poignantly shares her deeply personal experiences of navigating this overwhelming sorrow, using writing, gardening, and cherishing memories as powerful tools for healing. Through her words in this journal entry, she connects with others who may share similar feelings, creating a comforting space for understanding and empathy.

        A close-up of white daffodil flowers with yellow centers, surrounded by green leaves in a garden setting, "I Only Hurt When I'm Breathing": A Grief Journey, My Forever Son
        Daffodils blooming in a garden, symbolizing renewal and healing during the journey of grief, “I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing”: A Journey Through Grief , My Forever Son

        “I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing”: A Grief Journey

        “I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing”: A Journey Through Grief offers a heartfelt glimpse into the author’s journals from her third year of navigating grief after the profound loss of her son to suicide, articulating the raw and poignant emotional experiences that accompany the path to healing.

        Additional resources on the third year of grief enrich this exploration, providing valuable reflections on this challenging journey and the complexities of healing during such a difficult time.

        Pink flowers trail over a cream and brown stoneware flower pot resting on bricks, symbolizing hope and resilience, My Forever Son, A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son
        Pink flowers trail over a cream and brown stoneware flower pot resting on bricks, symbolizing hope and resilience, My Forever Son, A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son

        Author’s Note: A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son

        Twelve years ago, I lost my 20-year-old son, Dylan, to suicide, a heartbreaking event that shattered my world and plunged me into a dark period of grief.

        During those long months, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and thoughts, questioning everything around me and struggling to make sense of what will never make sense. I entered into a deep grief filled with solitude and despair, a darkness so bleak I questioned ever being able to see light again.

        In the beginning, I had no words. No voice. No ability to express the grief I was feeling.

        My words were lost in torrents of tears, in stark contrast to the vibrant discussions I used to lead in my college composition and literature classes.

        Perhaps it’s important to preface that I was teaching college composition and literature when I lost my son to suicide, a tragedy that shattered all of me. The irony of discussing the complexities of human emotion with my students while grappling with my own profound sorrow was not lost on me.

        Each day, I faced the challenge of maintaining my professional facade, all the while battling an internal tempest that seemed insurmountable, wondering how to bridge the chasm between my role as an educator and the personal devastation I was enduring.

        Wild purple geraniums surrounded by green leaves near a water pond in mid-summer, symbolizing hope and a moment of tranquility, My Forever Son, A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son
        Wild purple geraniums surrounded by green leaves in mid-summer, symbolizing hope and a moment of tranquility, My Forever Son, A Poetic Quest for Healing After Losing My Son

        My Life Before Losing My Son

        Books, lectures, teaching—I once felt empowered by my voice, a resonant tool for sharing ideas and knowledge. It was a time when I believed in the strength of my words and the influence they carried, inspiring others to think deeply and engage in meaningful conversations.

        I reveled in the connections I forged through sharing my thoughts, feeling a sense of purpose in my contributions to the world. But when Dylan died by suicide, I felt consumed by my grief. My heart collapsed inward in sharp pain, I retreated from the outside world, and my words eluded me.

        Teaching was impossible. Losing Dylan shattered my life, leaving me, on the outside at least, grappling with an overwhelming silence that echoed louder than any lecture or written page.

        On the inside, I was screaming sounds I did not recognize as my own.

        The Depth of My Loss Brought My Life to a Standstill

        The vibrant energy that once fueled my passion for writing vanquished, and I found myself questioning everything without being able to lend voice to the confusion and overwhelming feelings I was moving through in my grief.

        The depth of my loss silenced the joy I once derived from sharing my thoughts and connecting with others.

        All of my life came to a standstill as I entered a place of deep grief. It is only in retrospect and in these twelve years past my son’s suicide that I see how all-consuming my grief was.

        Diminishing the confidence that fuels expression, my grief stifled my voice completely. It’s been a difficult battle to reclaim my sense of self amidst such sorrow.

        A Poetic Quest for Self-Forgiveness and Healing

        Journaling was awkward. I couldn’t put all the pain I was feeling into words that did justice to the enormity of my heartbreak. But I kept writing. Slowly, in keeping a record of my grief, I realized I was creating a poetic journey about losing a child to suicide.

        A close-up of a vibrant red rose surrounded by green leaves, set against a textured gray wall, symbolizing hope and renewal, My Forever Son, Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing
        A vibrant red rose blooms amidst lush green leaves, symbolizing hope and renewal in the journey of healing, My Forever Son, Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

        “Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing”

        Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a heartfelt collection of poems and reflections by Beth Brown, the compassionate voice behind the My Forever Son blog. This poignant work navigates the deep, overwhelming sorrow that accompanies the tragic loss of a child to suicide. In her writing, Brown bravely shares her personal journey through grief, revealing how the act of writing poetry and connecting with the beauty of nature became vital sources of comfort and healing for her in the midst of such profound pain.

        Through the author’s heartfelt verses, she reaches out with warmth and understanding to those who are journeying through their own sorrows. With her enchanting photography of the trees, shrubs, and flowers that grace her gardens throughout the seasons, Brown lovingly shares a beacon of hope, brightly illuminating the shadows cast by grief.

        On Finding Hope: Photographing My Gardens Brings Healing

        In nature, I find calm in the wake of profound sorrow and healing in the cycling of the seasons. Predictable. Beautiful in the spring, promising renewal after a long winter’s rest. Brilliant hues in the summer months. Autumn bringing trees and shrubs bejeweled in vivid reds, oranges, and reds. And then the stillness and monochromatic sketch of what can be a too long winter’s sleep.

        Winter Wonderland: Captivating Photos in My Gardens

        Snow covered branches of a saucer cup Magnolia in winter, My Forever Son, Suicide: It Never Lets Go
        A stark image of a magnolia tree in winter, framed by an ever-green Norway Spruce in the background, all against a blue sky with dark clouds above tinged with light that seems surreal, My Forever Son, A Poem About Being Haunted by Guilt After Losing My Son to Suicide: Still From Sky I'm Falling
        Snow-covered branches of a magnolia tree in winter framed by brick wall and snow in the background, My Forever Son, c
        A small bird, a junco with a gray topside and a white underside, in a triangle of sunlight across a snow-covered pond, photographed for My Forever Son, An Abrupt Awakening: Foray Into the Holidays 2015 and The Holidays Descend Suicide Never Ends
        Glistening Snow reflecting sun's prisms in tree shadows in winter, rose bush with brown leaves of winter in foreground, my forever son, The holidays descend: suicide never ends and Reflections on Grief in Year 6 After Losing My Son to Suicide
        Winter Magnolia Tree Shadow in Snow with Brick Wall, My Forever Son, Suicide: It Never Lets Go and The Holidays Descend Suicide Never Ends, Suicide: It Never Lets Go
        Winter snow looking out over a low brick wall through a bare tree into the glare of the sun, photographed for My Forever Son, An Abrupt Awakening, Foray into the Holidays and He Left Too Soon, Also A Mother's Reflections after Losing My Son to Suicide
        Snow-covered brick wall with intricate woven brick work pattern in late afternoon winter, My Forever Son, Journals from the Heart
        Winter Sun in Blue Sky with a Few Wispy White Clouds Shining through Bare Trees, My Forever Son, The Holidays Descend: Suicide Never Ends
        A red-bellied woodpecker at a bird-feeder in winter with snow on ground, My Forever Son, A Poem About Being Haunted by Guilt After Losing My Son to Suicide: Still From Sky I'm Falling

        A Long Winter’s Rest for Trees, Shrubs, and Flowers

        This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken.

        This dormant season in winter echoes the hopelessness of my grief: everything feels, looks, seems bleak and forsaken. An empty landscape. Gray skies for months. A blanket of snow in white, though only the stark limbs of trees and shrubs. At times, though, red berries appear on some shrubs, supplying food for birds and wildlife. All this to say I can’t see life against this wintry scene.

        But in photographing nature through the seasons, I began to see (again), the brilliance of a long winter’s rest for trees, shrubs, and flowers. To study nature and botany is to realize that what appears lifeless is actually the process of life within all of nature renewing itself. Trusting in what I cannot see brings hope and healing.

        Spring Brings Hope: Photographs of My Gardens

        Yellow center white petals daffodil cluster in early spring framed by brick wall in background, My Forever Son, Navigating Grief: 5 Years After Losing My Son and Finding Hope, Healing and Resilience in Nature
        Creamy White and Yellow Daffodils in Early Spring
        Purple Crocus on Slender Green and White Striped Stalks Getting Ready to Open in Early Spring, My Forever Son, How to Survive the First Year After Losing Your Child to Suicide
        Pink Raspberry Azalea in Spring Bloom, My Forever Son, Healing Through Poetry: Grieving a Child's Loss
        Tender pink blossoms of a pink crabapple tree in early spring, My Forever Son, About My Forever Son: A Journey Through Grief
        Purple Phlox in Spring Leading to Water Pond with Cascading Waterfall Rocks, and pink spring flowers, My Forever Son, Navigating the Ever-changing Landscape of Grief: Reflecting on Year Nine
        Beautiful Pink and white striped phlox surround a water pond with 2 waterfalls in early spring, My Forever Son, Coping with Grief: Strategies for Memorial Dates
        Pink Phlox in Bloom Close Up, Photographed for My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide, Living Backwards Going Forward
        Lavender Phlox in Spring, My Forever Son,
        Robin in Early Spring Coldsnap
        Peach flowering quince blossoms in full bloom in spring, My Forever Son, Understanding Grief After Losing a Child to Suicide

        Spring Brings Beauty and Hope

        Even against the cold remnants of a long winter–scattered clumps of snow, a robin redbreast plumped out to keep itself warm against a late March frost, brown dried leaves with nary a sign of color anywhere, spring breaks through. At first just small bits of color. A hint of purple as crocus push through thawing ground, then the vivid yellows of daffodils leaning towards the sun and the suddenness of blue bells. Rhododendron yawns and stretches its lavender limbs to awaken azalea, still sleepy with snow though greening beneath it all.

        What seems forever gone in the gray doldrums of winter arrives with an abundance of joy come spring.

        Writing My Way Through Grief to Find Hope and Healing

        Snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections

        Three years into my grief, I began writing journal entries. Short. A few feelings. About my day and where I was in my grief journey. Then slowly, snippets of language emerged as poetic reflections. Words shaped the deep feelings and emotional longing in my heart, and as I continued writing, I began to find small glimpses of hope in unexpected ways.

        Photographing my gardens garnered a way to coalesce all the many feelings and words I’d been unable to express. And the more I photographed through the seasons, the more glimmers of hope I found along the way.

        Each poignant poem in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing is a dedicated blog post in its own right, replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

        The poems included in Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing appear below. Each poem is a blog post in its own right, oftentimes replete with the inspiration behind the poem.

        Each poem moves the reader through the profound emotions of grief and healing after losing a child.

        Many of the poems tell narratives I remember from my son’s childhood. This is significant–reconstructing the narrative of our lives during his growing-up years brings release for all the love and beautiful memories before the trauma of losing him. Writing these poems and narratives, these poetic reflections on love and loss, have helped me learn to carry love and ache together.

        Still I write. Still I heal. Still I miss my son.

        From Shattered Hearts to Quiet Hope: Poems and Reflections for Parents of Suicide Loss

        Find Hope Here: Poetic Reflections on Grief and Healing

        If you are reading this, you know the unique and overwhelming grief of losing a child to suicide. This collection is for you—a place to find words and images that honor your pain, offer comfort, and gently invite hope.

        Curated by Beth Brown, who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide, these poems and reflections move through the rawness of early trauma, the depths of acute grief, and the slow journey toward healing, even thirteen years later. Each post pairs heartfelt writing with stunning garden photography, inspired by Beth’s own search for solace in nature’s resilience.

        Hope can be quiet—listen for it in moments of rest.

        You are invited to explore at your own pace. Choose what resonates—whether it’s a poem that mirrors your sorrow, a reflection that offers comfort, or an image that whispers hope. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

        Contemplation Prompt:
        Pause with a garden image. What does it say to you about survival, growth, or hope?

        About the Author, Beth Brown: Writing My Way Through Grief

        The love you shared endures beyond loss.

        This collection is lovingly curated by Beth Brown, a mother who lost her only child, her 20-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. Over thirteen years, Beth’s journey through the depths of grief has been shaped by poetry, reflection, and the healing presence of her gardens. Through My Forever Son, she shares how nature’s resilience and beauty offer moments of solace and hope, even in the face of unimaginable loss.

        Explore These Poems and Reflections at Your Own Pace

        You are invited to explore these poems and reflections at your own pace. Each post pairs heartfelt words with stunning garden photography, offering comfort, understanding, and gentle encouragement for wherever you are in your grief. Select what speaks to you—let these pages be a companion on your path toward healing. For more resources, stories, and support, visit the My Forever Son blog and discover a community that understands.

        Journaling Prompt:
        What memories of your child bring both tears and warmth? Write a few lines, letting your heart speak freely.

        You are not alone. Healing is a journey, and hope can bloom—even here.

        Message of Hope:
        Even in the darkest seasons, a single flower can remind us that beauty and life persist. Let these poems be gentle companions as you move through your grief.

        FIND HOPE HERE: POEMS AND POETIC REFLECTIONS ON GRIEF AND HEALING

        Poems about Losing a Child to Suicide

        Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message

        Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message Summary Understanding ‘Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon’ Poem’s Heartfelt Message explores the profound grief and regret of losing a child to suicide through the poem, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon,” by author Beth Brown. Through vivid imagery and heartfelt repetition, the poem captures the enduring love…

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        Poems

        When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’

        When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ Summary When Love Isn’t Enough: ‘Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand’ unravels the profound complexities surrounding suicide, featuring an impactful poem and a heartfelt treatise by the author, “Ode to Suicide: That We Might Understand.” This poignant article and poetic reflection encourage readers…

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        Healing Grief

        The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience

        The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience Summary The Magnolia Tree: A Symbol of Grief and Resilience explores the author’s journey of grief through the metaphor of a Magnolia tree’s cyclical seasons. The author uses photography to illustrate the parallels between nature’s cycles and the seasons of grief, finding hope and healing in…

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        For Parents

        Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing

        Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing Key Takeaways Summary Finding Beauty in Loss: Reflections on Grief and Healing shares author Beth Brown’s journey of grief and healing after losing her son, Dylan, to suicide. Through poetry and nature photography, she finds solace and a way to express her overwhelming emotions after suicide loss.…

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        poems of love and loss

        “Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope

        “Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope Summary “Travel On My Brave Soldier”: A Poem of Hope addresses grieving parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child to suicide. It underscores the profound importance of honoring their child’s memory through meaningful rituals, sharing heartfelt stories, and engaging in advocacy events that…

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        Embracing Grief: A Mother’s Poetic Journey

        From journaling to discovering the poetic language that encapsulates my grief, I penned my path to healing, culminating in the creation of my book, Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide.

        The anthology of poems in this book provides a profound and moving examination of grief, intricately intertwining original verses that delve into themes of loss, guilt, hope, self-forgiveness, and the path to healing. Expertly curated, the arrangement of poems invites deep reflection, serving as a treasured companion for those in search of solace and connection during difficult times.

        Online Directory for Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress

        After A Suicide Resource Directory: Coping with Grief, Trauma, and Distress
        http://www.personalgriefcoach.net
        This online directory links people who are grieving after a suicide death to resources and information.

        Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
        http://www.allianceofhope.org
        This organization for survivors of suicide loss provides information sheets, a blog, and a community forum through which survivors can share with each other.

        Friends for Survival
        http://www.friendsforsurvival.org
        This organization is for suicide loss survivors and professionals who work with them. It produces a monthly newsletter and runs the Suicide Loss Helpline (1-800-646-7322). It also published Pathways to Purpose and Hope, a guide to building a community-based suicide survivor support program.

        HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
        http://heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org
        This organization has chapters providing support groups for survivors of suicide loss in Colorado and some other states. Its website provides information sheets for survivors and a leader’s guide on how to start a new chapter of HEARTBEAT.

        Resources and Support Groups

        Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicides (POS-FFOS)
        http://www.pos-ffos.com
        This website provides a public message board called Suicide Grief Support Forum, a listserv for parents, a separate listserv for others, and an online chat room for survivors of suicide loss.

        Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
        https://www.taps.org/suicide
        This organization provides resources and programs for people grieving the loss of a loved one who died while serving in the U.S. armed forces or as a result of their service. It has special resources and programs for suicide loss survivors.

        United Survivors
        https://unitesurvivors.org/
        This organization is a place where people who have experienced suicide loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts and feelings, and their friends and families, can connect to use their lived experience to advocate for policy, systems, and cultural change.

        Professional Organizations

        American Association of Suicidology
        suicidology.org • (202) 237-2280
        Promotes public awareness, education and training for professionals, and sponsors an annual Healing After Suicide conference for suicide loss survivors. In addition to the conference, they offer a coping with suicide grief handbook by Jeffrey Jackson. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

        The Compassionate Friends
        compassionatefriends.org • (877) 969-0010
        Offers resources for families after the death of a child. They sponsor support groups, newsletters and online support groups throughout the country, as well as an annual national conference for bereaved families.

        The Dougy Center
        The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
        dougy.org • (503) 775-5683
        Publishes extensive resources for helping children and teens who are grieving a death including death by suicide. Resources include the “Children, Teens and Suicide Loss” booklet created in partnership with AFSP. This booklet is also available in Spanish.

        Link’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
        thelink.org/nrc-for-suicide-prevention-aftercar • 404-256-2919
        Dedicated to reaching out to those whose lives have been impacted by suicide and connecting them to available resources.

        Tragedy Assistance Programs for Survivors (TAPS)
        taps.org/suicide • (800) 959-TAPS (8277)
        Provides comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones.

        LOSS
        losscs.org
        Offers support groups, remembrance events, companioning, suicide postvention and prevention education, and training to other communities interested in developing or enhancing their suicide postvention and prevention efforts.

        Online resources

        Alliance of Hope
        allianceofhope.org
        Provides a 24/7 online forum for suicide loss survivors.

        Help Guide
        helpguide.org
        Provides resources and tips for how to navigate the loss of someone to suicide.

        Parents of Suicides (POS) – Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)
        pos-ffos.com
        An internet community to connect parents, friends, and family that have lost someone to suicide.

        SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
        save.org/programs/suicide-loss-support • (952) 946-7998
        Hosts resources for suicide loss survivor including a support group database, newsletter, survivor conference and the Named Memorial Program, which offers a special way to honor your loved one.

        Siblings Survivors of Suicide Loss
        siblingsurvivors.com
        Provides resources and a platform to connect with others that have lost a sibling to suicide.

        Finding professional care and support

        Find a mental health provider

        Find a provider for prolonged grief

        Find additional resources for marginalized communities

        Crisis Services

        988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
        988lifeline.org
        Call or text 988 (press 1 for Veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults) or chat 988lifeline.org
        A 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.

        Crisis Text Line
        crisistextline.org
        Text TALK to 741-741 for English
        Text AYUDA to 741-741 for Spanish
        Provides free, text-based mental health support and crisis intervention by empowering a community of trained volunteers to support people in their moments of need, 24/7.

        Support Groups

        A stack of books related to mental health and suicide prevention placed on a wooden table, with a blue mug and green plants in the background.
        A collection of books focused on understanding grief, suicide, and mental health support, My Forever Son, Finding Support After Losing a Child to Suicide

        Books for Understanding Suicide And Mental Health

        An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
        Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1995. In this memoir, an international authority on Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder describes her own struggle since adolescence with the disorder, and how it has shaped her life.

        Darkness Visible
        William Styron, Random House, 1990. A powerful and moving first-hand account of what depression feels like to the sufferer.

        Devastating Losses: How Parents Cope with the Death of a Child to Suicide or Drugs
        William Feigelman, Ph.D., John Jordan, Ph.D., John McIntosh, Ph.D., Beverly Feigelman, LCSW, Springer Publishing, 2012. This book provides useful avenues for future research on suicide loss and offers new insights into the grief process that follows the death of a child, both in the short term and years after a loss.  Please note that, given its academic tone, the book is better suited to clinicians and educators than to recently bereaved lay readers.

        Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
        Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D., Alfred A. Knopf, 1999. Kay Redfield Jamison’s in-depth psychological and scientific exploration of suicide traces the network of reasons underlying suicide, including the factors that interact to cause suicide, and outlines the evolving treatments available through modern medicine.

        The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
        Andrew Solomon, Scribner, 2001.Winner of the National Book Award, this book shares the author’s story of chronic depression, and places depression in a broader social context.

        Why People Die by Suicide
        Thomas Joiner, Ph.D., Harvard University Press, 2005.
        Drawing on extensive clinical and epidemiological evidence, as well as personal experience, the author, who lost his father to suicide, identifies three factors that mark those most at risk of considering, attempting, or dying by suicide.

        Book Recommendation: ‘A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief’ by Jeffrey Jackson, providing support for survivors of suicide loss, My Forever Son

        Cover of a handbook titled 'A handbook for coping with suicide grief' by Jeffrey Jackson, featuring illustrations of people and greenery, My Forever Son
        Book Recommendation: ‘A Handbook for Coping with Suicide Grief’ by Jeffrey Jackson, providing support for survivors of suicide loss, My Forever Son
        A close-up of a vibrant red rose with droplets of water on its petals, accompanied by the title 'Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide' by Beth Brown,
        Book cover of ‘Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide‘ by Beth Brown, featuring a vibrant rose, symbolizing remembrance and hope, My Forever Son, Finding Hope After Losing a Child to Suicide: Parents’ Resource

        Books

        • Beal, Karyl Chastain (2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018). Faces of Suicide, Volumes One to Five.
        • Brown, Beth (2023) Bury My Heart: 19 Poems for Grief and Healing After Losing a Child to Suicide
        • Cacciatore, Joanne (2017). Bearing the Unbearable. Wisdom Publications.
        • Clark, Ann (2020). Gone to Suicide. A mom’s truth on heartbreak, transformation and prevention. Iuniverse.
        • Collins, Eileen Vorbach (2023). Love in the Archives. a patchwork of true stories about suicide loss. Apprentice House Press.
        • Cross, Tracey (2013). Suicide among gifted children and adolescents. Understanding the suicidal mind. Prufrock Press.
        • Dougy Center, The (2001). After a Suicide: An Activity Book for Grieving Kids. Dougy Center.
        • Estes, Clarissa Pinkola (1988). The Faithful Gardener. HarperCollinsSanFrancisco.
        • Fine, Carla (1997). No Time to Say Goodbye. Surviving the suicide of a loved one. Broadway Books.
        • Heilmann, Lena M.Q. (2019). Still with Us. Voices of Sibling Suicide Loss Survivors. BDI Publishers.
        • Hickman, Martha Whitmore (1994). Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. William Morrow Paperbacks
        • Jamison, Kay Redfield (2000). Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. Vintage.
        • Johnson, Julie Tallard (1994). Hidden Victims, Hidden Healers. An eight-stage healing process for families and friends of the mentally ill. Pema Publications.
        • Joiner, Thomas (2005). Why People Die by Suicide. Harvard University Press
        • Joiner, Thomas (2010). Myths About Suicide. Harvard University Press.
        • Kushner, Harold S. (2004). When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Anchor Books
        • O’Connor, Mary-Francis (2022). The Grieving Brain. HarperOne.
        • Rasmussen, Christina (2019). Second Firsts. Hay House Inc.
        • Shapiro, Larry (2020). Brain Pain. Giving insight to children who have lost a family member or a loved one to suicide. Safe Haven Books.
        • Wickersham, Julie (2009). The Suicide Index: Putting My Father’s Death in Order. Mariner Books.
        A woman in a brown coat kneels beside a grave, visibly emotional, with a vase of red and white flowers placed on the gravestone that reads 'SON.' The background shows a cemetery with multiple gravestones, My Forever Son, Finding Hope After Losing a Child to Suicide: Parents' Resource
        A grieving parent visits their child’s grave, reflecting on loss and remembrance, My Forever Son, Finding Hope After Losing a Child to Suicide: Parents’ Resource

        Memorial Sites

        Close-up of pink azalea flowers with delicate petals and prominent stamens, My Forever Son
        Blooming pink azalea flowers representing love and remembrance, My Forever Son, Embracing Grief: A Poetic Journey of Love

        Embracing Grief: A Poetic Journey of Love

        Have you ever considered how your story might connect with others? We encourage you to share how you have embraced your grief and how it reflects the deep love you have for your child. Your experience can powerfully show how love and loss are connected, inspiring others on their journeys.

        • Reflect on your experiences: How have you embraced your grief? How does your grief reflect the deep love you have for your child?

        Sharing your story can be a meaningful step in your healing journey. Reach out, and let’s transform your grief into a narrative that inspires and uplifts.

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        By Beth Brown

        Musician. Writer. Literary Connoisseur. Always writing, scribbling poetry, turning feelings into words. "Break my heart even further" can't ever be done, for I lost my heart the night I lost my son. Come find me writing at My Forever Son: Grief, Hope, and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide.

        At the whim of Most Beloved Cat, I write as she tattles on the garden cats. Find Most Beloved Cat sharing her stories at Gardens at Effingham: Where Cats Tell the Tales

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