Tag: my forever son-dylan

Poems for A Weary Heart: Child Loss

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date March 20, 2023
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Poems of Grief, Hope, and Healing After Child Loss to Suicide Poems of grief, hope, and healing after child loss to suicide reflect a decade of finding my way back (Losing a Child to Suicide: A Sad Welcome) after losing my son to suicide. Reflecting the deep sorrow, grief, and confusion left behind after losing […]

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“Bruised and Wounded: Understanding Suicide”

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date November 11, 2022
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A few scattered leaves in fall on brick sidewalk

All death unsettles us, but suicide… brings with it an ache, a chaos, a darkness, and a stigma that has to be experienced to be believed. Ronald Rolheiser Struggling to Understand Suicide Ronald Rolheiser writes a great deal about the suicide. He lends an understanding and spiritual perspective to suicide, and in so doing, removes […]

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5 Years of Grief After Suicide Loss: For Here Now, I Stay

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date October 27, 2022
1 Comment on 5 Years of Grief After Suicide Loss: For Here Now, I Stay

Red and Green Leaves of a Burning Bush in Fall

5 Years of Grief After Suicide Loss: For Here Now, I Stay For Here Now I Stay These dark, incessant droning on of days, months, years, and most sadly of all, a lifetime, more so carve in us (should we choose and choose we must, for grief is not so clearly delineated in its outcome), […]

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A Poem of Love, Loss, and Healing: Rain Comes to Heal Us All

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date October 21, 2022
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After the Rain

A Healing Poem of Love, Loss, and Forgiveness: Rain Comes to Heal Us All Rain Comes to Heal Us All Rain comes to heal us all, Falling tears from a sky of love, Remembering even when earth forgets To nurture all that we cannot forgive, Bringing love remembered to restore Even flowers that forget how […]

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Grandparents’ Grief After Suicide Loss of Grandchild

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date September 29, 2022
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Lemon Balm Herb in Summer

A Grandparent’s Grief The Family Table I was with my mother when she purchased the sturdy, long, pine table. With two leaves, one for each end of the table, this table would be big enough for our small, close-knit family. My sister and her family, including her two children, plus my parents, plus room now […]

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Remembering Dylan: Twenty Years

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date September 14, 2022
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Remembering Dylan:Twenty Years Twenty Years (Written by my sister, Linda) “Twenty years: from birth, from before birth treasured and loved, Dylan. Held now in God’s hands, held always in God’s hands but oh how I wish him back. In 1991, Beth called to share the news that she was pregnant. Beth had some health issues […]

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Guilt in Grief: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date August 31, 2022
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Guilt in Grief That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve, If I’d only come to see, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know when and where somehow, And here and now then see, To erase the dark and stay the day, To bring back […]

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That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back-A Poem about Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date July 18, 2022
7 Comments on That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back-A Poem about Losing a Child

Daddy Cat in Fall, My Forever Son

That All of Love (Could Sweep Time Back) That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve, If I’d only come to see, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know when and where somehow, And here and now then see, To erase the dark and stay […]

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Beat Still My Heart-A Poem About Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date July 16, 2022
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Daddy Cat and Red Roses

Beat Still My Heart Beat still my heart Beat still my mind Weary though thou art Carry his love along with thine Though heavy on thy shoulders Crost fields throughout all time. In the deepest dark of the bleakest night, If light there be, the dark shuts it out. Around you all is swirling, hurtling […]

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A Glimpse of Hope: “Letting Go” In Grief

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date July 15, 2022
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A Glimpse of Hope Some days, I lift my hands, my arms high, offering my child up to the hope that I will again join him–someday. I dance my prayers, draw with pastels my feelings, watch my “healing,” as best can be, ebb more than it, as in the beginning, really the first 18 months, overwhelm and […]

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Loving Him Past His Pain

Lilac in Bloom in Spring

Loving Him Past His Pain October Shadows A gorgeous fall afternoon, early eveningSun slants wideShadows cast and scatter across a stone wall Walked a bit ago to the cul-de-sac and then down to the field, following the sun, finding the sun shadowing me, feeling the sun trailing behind. Warm still, though only 60 and chilly. […]

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Travel On My Brave Soldier-A Poem of Hope

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 30, 2022
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Heart-shaped Red Roses Against Stone Wall

Travel On Travel on my brave soldier Travel on wild one Take heart winged warrior Unencumbered take great strides. Ride dragon’s wings forever Stay free here evermore Follow infinity to the heavens Travel on to safer shores. ©Beth Brown, 2022 First time here? Listen to a Song

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The First Year of Grief After Losing My Son

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 29, 2022
2 Comments on The First Year of Grief After Losing My Son

Red Rose Buds in Spring

Instrumental Guitar Music (Written and Performed by Beth Brown, Dylan’s Mom) Does the Pain Ever End? To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to be here and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain does change, it softens. You will want to live again and be able […]

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“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”–Poem and Song

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 4, 2022
No Comments on “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”–Poem and Song

Photograph of sun, clouds, and sky from an aerial view

“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” By Mary Elizabeth Frye I give you this one thought to keep- I am with you still. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunglight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn […]

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The Unbearable Ache of Memorial Dates

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 1, 2022
No Comments on The Unbearable Ache of Memorial Dates

The Unbearable Ache of Memorial Dates Now I know what day it is I wish I didn’t I am not in the moment Indeed, I am not Here really Here anywhere really Lost, just so terribly, terribly, terribly lost Wanting to save you Dylan All over again Grief Remembers What Time Cannot Forget: Memorial Dates […]

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Year 3 Memorial Date After Suicide Loss: Living Backwards Going Forward

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date May 5, 2022
No Comments on Year 3 Memorial Date After Suicide Loss: Living Backwards Going Forward

Living Backwards Going Forward I am aware, the further I come along this grief journey, the less I live forward. My Forever Son That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve, If I’d only Come to See, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know […]

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Losing My Only Child to Suicide: “My Forever Son” Backstory

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 24, 2022
2 Comments on Losing My Only Child to Suicide: “My Forever Son” Backstory

Red Tulips in Full Bloom in Late Spring

“My Forever Son” In the beginning, I had no words. I couldn’t speak. My voice was stilled. I lost my only child, my 20-year-old son, to suicide on June 25, 2012. In the beginning, who I was went away. What I did for a living went away. My professional life came to a grinding halt, […]

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Grieving the Suicide Loss of a Child: Helpful Grief Tips

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 16, 2022
2 Comments on Grieving the Suicide Loss of a Child: Helpful Grief Tips

White Daffodils in Spring, My Forever Son

And can it be in a world so full and busy the loss of one creature makes a void so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up. Charles Dickens If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. Adopt Healthy Coping Strategies The aftermath […]

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Find Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss, and Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 8, 2022
1 Comment on Find Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss, and Losing a Child

Pink and White Apple Blossoms in spring, My Forever Son

A Lullaby for My Son, “As I Tuck You In”

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Where to From Here When Now I Cannot Be? A Poem About Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 8, 2022
No Comments on Where to From Here When Now I Cannot Be? A Poem About Losing a Child

Winter Sun in Blue Sky Shining Through Winter Trees

A Poem About Losing a Child Where to From Here When Now I Cannot Be? Ripped here from centre where body birthed son, Where son birthed the all of who now I am. How now to be and where must I go? When between stars and here I hear your constant echo? How now to […]

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