Tag: Mother losing a child

5 Years of Grief After Suicide Loss: For Here Now, I Stay

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date October 27, 2022
1 Comment on 5 Years of Grief After Suicide Loss: For Here Now, I Stay

Red and Green Leaves of a Burning Bush in Fall

5 Years of Grief After Suicide Loss: For Here Now, I Stay For Here Now I Stay These dark, incessant droning on of days, months, years, and most sadly of all, a lifetime, more so carve in us (should we choose and choose we must, for grief is not so clearly delineated in its outcome), […]

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Books and Resources Coping with Loss Coping with suicide Family loss Grief Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Suicide Suicide loss Support Groups survivors of suicide loss

Surviving Your Child’s Suicide: Support, Resources, Hope

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date October 22, 2022
12 Comments on Surviving Your Child’s Suicide: Support, Resources, Hope

Books and Resources

The following resources, book lists, narratives from parents who have lost a child to suicide, support groups, and more are meant to be a resource bank. Many have helped me keep on keeping on these past nine years of grieving.

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Grandparents’ Grief After Suicide Loss of Grandchild

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date September 29, 2022
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Lemon Balm Herb in Summer

A Grandparent’s Grief The Family Table I was with my mother when she purchased the sturdy, long, pine table. With two leaves, one for each end of the table, this table would be big enough for our small, close-knit family. My sister and her family, including her two children, plus my parents, plus room now […]

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5 Ways Suicide Grief Is Different

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date September 5, 2022
4 Comments on 5 Ways Suicide Grief Is Different

5 Ways Suicide Grief Is Different Way 1: Blaming I received many compassionate words, cards, embraces, and acts of service when my son died. Dylan’s friends and family flocked to our house the morning of his death. They brought pastries from a local bakery, coffee, and huge condolences. Dylan’s friends gathered in our driveway, sequestered […]

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That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back-A Poem about Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date July 18, 2022
7 Comments on That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back-A Poem about Losing a Child

Daddy Cat in Fall, My Forever Son

That All of Love (Could Sweep Time Back) That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve, If I’d only come to see, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know when and where somehow, And here and now then see, To erase the dark and stay […]

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Travel On My Brave Soldier-A Poem of Hope

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 30, 2022
No Comments on Travel On My Brave Soldier-A Poem of Hope

Heart-shaped Red Roses Against Stone Wall

Travel On Travel on my brave soldier Travel on wild one Take heart winged warrior Unencumbered take great strides. Ride dragon’s wings forever Stay free here evermore Follow infinity to the heavens Travel on to safer shores. ©Beth Brown, 2022 First time here? Listen to a Song

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“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”–Poem and Song

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 4, 2022
No Comments on “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”–Poem and Song

Photograph of sun, clouds, and sky from an aerial view

“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” By Mary Elizabeth Frye I give you this one thought to keep- I am with you still. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunglight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn […]

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The Unbearable Ache of Memorial Dates

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 1, 2022
No Comments on The Unbearable Ache of Memorial Dates

The Unbearable Ache of Memorial Dates Now I know what day it is I wish I didn’t I am not in the moment Indeed, I am not Here really Here anywhere really Lost, just so terribly, terribly, terribly lost Wanting to save you Dylan All over again Grief Remembers What Time Cannot Forget: Memorial Dates […]

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Year 3 Memorial Date After Suicide Loss: Living Backwards Going Forward

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date May 5, 2022
No Comments on Year 3 Memorial Date After Suicide Loss: Living Backwards Going Forward

Living Backwards Going Forward I am aware, the further I come along this grief journey, the less I live forward. My Forever Son That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve, If I’d only Come to See, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know […]

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Losing My Only Child to Suicide: “My Forever Son” Backstory

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 24, 2022
2 Comments on Losing My Only Child to Suicide: “My Forever Son” Backstory

Red Tulips in Full Bloom in Late Spring

“My Forever Son” In the beginning, I had no words. I couldn’t speak. My voice was stilled. I lost my only child, my 20-year-old son, to suicide on June 25, 2012. In the beginning, who I was went away. What I did for a living went away. My professional life came to a grinding halt, […]

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Where to From Here When Now I Cannot Be? A Poem About Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 8, 2022
No Comments on Where to From Here When Now I Cannot Be? A Poem About Losing a Child

Winter Sun in Blue Sky Shining Through Winter Trees

A Poem About Losing a Child Where to From Here When Now I Cannot Be? Ripped here from centre where body birthed son, Where son birthed the all of who now I am. How now to be and where must I go? When between stars and here I hear your constant echo? How now to […]

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I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing: Grief After Losing My Son to Suicide

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 6, 2022
1 Comment on I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing: Grief After Losing My Son to Suicide

Daffodils in Spring

I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing “I only hurt when I’m breathing,” a random post on social media, anonymous, yet so completely relevant to this grieving of losing a child. I found a Mother’s Day card a few weeks ago. Dylan’s last Mother’s Day card to me in May of 2012. (I wasn’t looking for […]

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“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”–Poem and Song

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 3, 2022
No Comments on “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”–Poem and Song

Photograph of sun, clouds, and sky from an aerial view

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What to Say to Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date March 8, 2022
4 Comments on What to Say to Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide

How to Offer Grief Support When a Child Has Died by Suicide Suicide can leave the survivors with anger, confusion and guilt, and even well-intentioned words can cause pain. By Gayle Brandeis, “What to Say (and Not to Say) to Someone Grieving a Suicide” New York Times, May 8, 2019 “There are no words” As […]

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Self-Blame and Guilt-I Couldn’t Save My Son

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date March 5, 2022
2 Comments on Self-Blame and Guilt-I Couldn’t Save My Son

A Record of Your Love, My Forever Son

Self-Blame and Guilt: I Couldn’t Save My Son I can’t stop thinking about how much he suffered—and my own inability to save him. Lori Gottlieb, “I Blame Myself for My Son’s Death,” The Atlantic, September 7, 2020 It’s been nearly 10 years since I lost my only son to suicide. Had someone suggested in my […]

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What I’ve Learned in 3 Years of Grief After the Suicide of My Son

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date February 14, 2022
1 Comment on What I’ve Learned in 3 Years of Grief After the Suicide of My Son

Shadow Cat in Snow

I Remember Joy All these things I recognize, I remember delighting in them-trees, art, house, music, pink morning sky, work well done, flowers, books. I still delight in them. I’m still grateful. But the zest is gone. The passion is cooled, the striving quieted, the longing stilled. My attachment is loosened. No longer do I […]

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If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You-A Poem About Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date February 8, 2022
3 Comments on If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You-A Poem About Losing a Child

White Swan, My Forever Son

If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You Bones bear girth where once, wisdom birthed you Love lost in the framing of art for art’s sake (because and as if) a mother’s love could have saved you– been there to catch you fall tears stilled by the heavens stars deep as dark’s cry […]

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“Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”-A Poem about Losing a Child to Suicide

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date February 3, 2022
2 Comments on “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”-A Poem about Losing a Child to Suicide

"Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon" My Forever Son

Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon A Poem for Dylan by Beth Brown And once upon a blue-sky moon, We sailed our ships in your bedroom, With stars for light, we fled the dark But the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark. You tucked away your childhood dreams On wings that soared beyond infinity, Your […]

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“I Will Seek Until I Find You”-A Poem About Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date January 19, 2022
3 Comments on “I Will Seek Until I Find You”-A Poem About Losing a Child

Grief of a Parent depicted in a black-and-white photograph of a man walking by himself, My Forever Son

I Will Seek Until I Find You I Will Seek Until I Find YouAnd where will you run when arms reach (but you’re not mine)When I can feel still so strongly (holding you still in my arms) From here frantic I search wildly (but cannot ever now find)Little one in pictures (trying hard for one […]

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Why? After the Suicide of My Son-A Mother Remembers

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date January 18, 2022
3 Comments on Why? After the Suicide of My Son-A Mother Remembers

I Will Seek Until I Find You And where will you run when arms reach (but you’re not mine) When I can feel still so strongly (holding you still in my arms) From here frantic I search wildly (but cannot ever now find) Little one in pictures (trying hard for one so young) Standing, but […]

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