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Grief Healing Heart songs: Poetry from the Heart Hope Hope and Healing Poems Poems about Loss poems of love and loss

“Tillers of the Earth and Tenders of the Soil”: A Poem about Grief and Losing a Child

“Tillers of the Earth,

Tenders of the Soil”

Tillers of the Earth and Tenders of the Soil

We are the tillers of the earth and the tenders of the soil.

These trees and plants and water garden were here before us, and they will be here after we go.

We take care of them that they might take care of us and that love might be this caring for one another. 


We are the tillers of the earth and the wakers of the soil.
 
How wonderful to see purple this late in the fall and orange on the kindling.
 
Insects swarm madly. What are they doing? Where are they going?

Where go all of us when stand we no longer (further) on grounds hallowed and loved?


We are all tired of blooming, and so rest we now where hallowed love lies and dreams live on even past this point where we are one.
 
We sit, we watch, we wait, for time has a way of catching us all a little off guard and unwilling to wield yield.


Tired I rest, tired I fall, and so wonder when, then, I can no longer be this tiller of earth, tender of soil?

When no longer I can mother these roots, bark, leaves, budding and blooming, where then must I go?
 
Where must I be when all that mothers me isn’t any more green and growing?
 
Where must we be when tender no more this sky-earth reach where love in-between sends nights' sky sleep songs to ease her sorrow? 

  
That always we could be crickets at dusk and water-lilies opening.
 
That always we could be skimming iridescent hues past this pain of knowing that even seasons lose their way.
 
That Sun-sky could hold ache of us now–tangled branches caught in January, berries spindled against stark limbs.

Beth Brown, 2021
 

           

What Happened?

“He Left Too Soon”-A Poem about Losing a Child to Suicide He Left Too Soon He left too soon, lifting life from June, Casting torrents of rain, and in his absence, heaving beating of tears. I knew him from his first breath to his last.   He came a month early on cusp of spring,…

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Every 11 Minutes, Someone Dies by Suicide: A Look at the Staggering Suicide Statistics, Facts, and Figures From 2020

You Are Not Alone– If You’ve Lost A Child to Suicide If you’ve lost a child to suicide, The Compassionate Friends offers a resource for parents: ” Surviving Your Child’s Suicide.” AFSP, the American Foundation for Suicide prevention provides numerous resources for where to turn after losing a loved one to suicide. AFSP is “dedicated…

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Rising Up–Because Love Lives Forever

Rising Up because… Love lives forever. My son lives yet still. I will be with Dylan again. As long I live, Dylan lives too. Dylan lives on through all that I am. Dylan’s voice is now my own. Rising Up because… I will not let the world forget my son lived. My memories, stories, and…

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On My Own
Categories
Child Loss Grief Heart songs: Poetry from the Heart Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Suicide Poems Poems about Loss poems of love and loss Reflections after Suicide Loss Suicide loss

“Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”-A Poem About Losing a Child to Suicide

“Once Upon a Blue Sky Moon”-

A Poem About Losing a Child to Suicide

My Forever Son

Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon

Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon

(for Dylan) 

And once upon a blue-sky moon,
We sailed our ships in your bedroom,
With stars for light, we fled the dark
But the lightening flashed, 
And the sky grew dark.

You tucked away your childhood dreams
On wings that soared beyond infinity,
Your love in me and me in you,
But out of reach, beyond what I could do.

I launched your dreams
You took great flight
On wings alone you soared too high
But you found ways to onward flee
To galaxies beyond my means.

I watched you drift through hazy sky
And chalked it up to a teenage angst,
But oh my son, if I’d only known
I’d have reached right in to your dark night’s soul--

 I would have held on
 I would have clutched you
 I would have never let you go
 But you Told me 
“Mom I love you”
 Oh my child if I’d only known.

So I kissed you and I held you,
And I said goodbye,
Not knowing, blue-star moon,
I would lose you that night.

You lived, you breathed, alive in pain
Through storm-dark nights and cloudy haze
But I didn’t know what I couldn’t see
The damage done beyond my means.

My sky is dark, my nights deep blue
My winter’s come, my star’s with you,
Without you here I cannot fly
My wings you clipped 
When you took your life.

And I live on and onward flee
Towards you my son and to infinity,
Where dreams come true and you live on,
And we fly again around planets and sun

With stars that glow against the moon,
Your love in me and me in you.

I will hold you, 
You will clutch me
We will never let go,
And you’ll tell me, 
“Mom, I love you”
And tears from earth will overflow,
And I’ll know then, blue sky-moon,
To never ever let you go.

© Beth Brown, 2021 
 All rights reserved

Latest Chronicles

LOOKING FOR THE CHRONICLES BLOG?

My Forever Son is as much about my journey to want to learn to live again as it is my son’s wanting his life to end. I have had to learn to want to live again. Writing, photographing, and remembering with love through the pain, I come to these Chronicles to find my way back…

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“Bury My Heart”-A Poem about Losing a Child

“Bury My Heart” (for Dylan) Bury my heart I’ve come undone Sorting through this life My son left behind. And what I’m seeking I know I’ll never find His touch, his smile— His still living his life. And so instead I sift through A still life dream My heart and life with him Forever it…

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Categories
Grief Guilt Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Suicide Poems about Losing a Child to Suicide Poems about Loss poems of love and loss

A Poem about Losing a Child to Suicide: “That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”

“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”

A Poem about Losing a Child to Suicide

“That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back”

That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back  

Should've, Would've, Could've, 
If I'd only Come to See, 
That might I future forward live
To see all eternity.

That I might know when and where somehow, 
And here and now then see,
To erase the dark and stay the day
To bring back you to me.

If only and What If now child
and why couldn't I just see
To hold you close forever
and stay the light just you and me.

That darkness might not permeate
my heart now and yours then,
that all of love could sweep time back
and bring back you again. 

©Beth Brown, 2021

 

Explore the Chronicles

One Last Mother’s Day Card-“I’ll Love You Forever Mom”

I’ll Love You Forever Mom “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.” Robert Munsch, Love You Forever Three Years Out After Losing Dylan Originally Published 2016 Memorial Dates It has been 3 years of acute agony, pain, and the hell of grieving the loss…

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The Pain of Suicide: It’s Not About Wanting to Die, It’s About Wanting the Pain to Stop

The Pain of Suicide Know you can survive; you may not think so, but you can. Iris M. Bolton, “Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors” 10 Commonalities of Suicide Below are 10 commonalities of suicide, identified by suicide expert, Edwin Shneidman, author of The Suicidal Mind. 10 Commonalities of Suicide The common purpose of suicide is…

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Purple phlox in bloom is next to a water pond with 2 waterfalls.

About Dylan

My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After the Death of My Son By Suicide And once upon a blue-sky moon, We sailed our ships in your bedroom, With stars for light, we fled the dark But the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark. Beth Brown, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon” “Sometimes I…

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Why? After the Suicide of My Son-A Mother Remembers

The beat of my heart shaped by you. The song of you which still now I sing. Beth Brown, My Forever Son And yet perhaps you could not hear above the deafening roar of your heart’s ache.   Beth Brown, My Forever Son The beat of my heart shaped by you. The song of you which still…

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Red Leaves close up on a Burning Bush (Fire Bush) in the Midwest during autumn
Burning Bush in Fall, My Forever Son

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