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"Why?" Child Loss Depression and Mental Illness Family loss Grief Heart songs: Poetry from the Heart Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Suicide Poems Poems about Loss poems of love and loss Suicide loss

“Bury My Heart”-A Poem about Losing a Child

Hope in Early Spring

“Bury My Heart”

(for Dylan)

 
Bury my heart
I’ve come undone
Sorting through this life
My son left behind.

And what I’m seeking I know
I’ll never find
His touch, his smile—
His still living his life.

And so instead I sift through
A still life dream
My heart and life with him
Forever it seemed.

And oh my son
I’m still paralyzed
In the grief you left me
8 years behind.

Where canst I go?
Whom canst I see?
When all I want with you
Is forever to be.

And how my heart keeps on beating
Is a mystery to all
For without you beside me
I live suspended in time.

I live now life backwards
My heart beating in time,
To the life that we lived
When you, child, were mine.

Try as I might
I can’t seem to live,
For my dreams all belonged
To your future forward lived.

And so where now I goeth
And where knoweth I dwell,
Once again and all over
Life without you is hell.

I ache without breathing
For to breathe is to die,
Once again and all over
Without you in my life. 

by Beth Brown (for Dylan)

“Bury My Heart” ©Beth Brown, 2021

My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After the Death of My Son By Suicide

Where to Find Support, Resources, and Hope-Losing a Child to Suicide

Perhaps the figure is reeling from a loss so catastrophic that all one can do is scream to sky, to stars, to sun–to wherever forever is, to where forever is out of reach forever again.

Beth Brown, My Forever Son, From Sorrow to Joy: How Pain Colors Loss

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The Pain of Suicide: It’s Not About Wanting to Die, It’s About Wanting the Pain to Stop

The Pain of Suicide Know you can survive; you may not think so, but you can. Iris M. Bolton, “Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors” 10 Commonalities of Suicide Below are 10 commonalities of suicide, identified by suicide expert, Edwin Shneidman, author of The Suicidal Mind. 10 Commonalities of Suicide The common purpose of suicide is…

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Rising Up–Because Love Lives Forever

Rising Up because… Love lives forever. My son lives yet still. I will be with Dylan again. As long I live, Dylan lives too. Dylan lives on through all that I am. Dylan’s voice is now my own. Rising Up because… I will not let the world forget my son lived. My memories, stories, and…

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Dylan Andrew Brown

Oh the memories, little one-oh the memories

"As I Tuck You In"

As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall asleep, I pray for you
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too

My child, my love, my heart, May God keep and love you
And you will be forevermore
Safe from this world and so adored
And God will be your comforter

And I will always thank God for rescuing you
And I will always praise God for loving you too

And so I live my life in memory
Surrendering to God, what now must be
But here on earth I know the angels sing
When I hear your voice I know God’s listening

And I will always be your mother here
And I will speak your name for all to hear
And God will be with you ’til I get there
My child on earth above in heaven’s care

My child on earth above in heaven’s care

Beth Brown, "As I Tuck You In," My Forever Son
“As I Tuck You In” by Beth Brown, Dylan’s Mom
Categories
Child Loss Grief Guilt Heart songs: Poetry from the Heart Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Suicide Poems Poems about Losing a Child to Suicide Poems about Loss poems of love and loss Reflections after Suicide Loss Suicide loss

“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”-A Poem About Losing a Child to Suicide (from a mother who lost her only son)

Red Rose in June, My Forever Son

“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”

by Beth Brown
 Bones bear girth 
 where once, love birthed you, 
 arms cradled and rocking,
 love holding me to you.
  
 If only a mother's love
 could have saved you,
 been there to catch your fall 
 tears stilled by the heavens
 
 to where now and forever,
 you forever are­­.
  
 Your descent of life
 hers, labored love born,
 on wings beating too wildly
 and too soon your own.

 Your beat of heart hers,
 now her own to live on,
 sick pulse of ache
 holding death in her arms.

 Oh my heart
 and oh my son,
 without you life empties
 yet love forever beats on.

 And so now, my forever,
 "Why?" replete in my soul,
 which has always, and still child,
 moved in grooves you made whole.
  
 If only a mother's love 
 could have saved you—
 If only she had heard your heart cry,
 she could save you yet both together, 
 Take back that night you fell from the sky.
  
 ©Beth Brown,2021
 All rights reserved
 

   

My Forever Son

Where Love and Loss Bring Healing Home.

Remembering Dylan through Poems,

Memories, and Reflections from my Heart.

“Bury My Heart”

Bury my heart
I’ve come undone
Sorting through this life
My son left behind.

And what I’m seeking I know
I’ll never find
His touch, his smile—
His still living his life.

And so instead I sift through
A still life dream
My heart and life with him
Forever it seemed.

And oh my son
I’m still paralyzed
In the grief you left me
8 years behind.

Where canst I go?
Whom canst I see?
When all I want with you
Is forever to be.

And how my heart keeps on beating
Is a mystery to all
For without you beside me
I live suspended in time.

I live now life backwards
My heart beating in time,
To the life that we lived
When you, child, were mine.

Try as I might
I can’t seem to live,
For my dreams all belonged
To your future forward lived.

And so where now I goeth
And where knoweth I dwell,
Once again and all over
Life without you is hell.

I ache without breathing
For to breathe is to die,
Once again and all over
Without you in my life. 

by Beth Brown (for Dylan)

“Bury My Heart” ©Beth Brown, 2021
Bury My Heart





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“Bury My Heart”-A Poem about Losing a Child

“Bury My Heart” (for Dylan) Bury my heart I’ve come undone Sorting through this life My son left behind. And what I’m seeking I know I’ll never find His touch, his smile— His still living his life. And so instead I sift through A still life dream My heart and life with him Forever it…

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One Last Mother’s Day Card-“I’ll Love You Forever Mom”

I’ll Love You Forever Mom “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.” Robert Munsch, Love You Forever Three Years Out After Losing Dylan Originally Published 2016 Memorial Dates It has been 3 years of acute agony, pain, and the hell of grieving the loss…

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