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What Happened?

My Forever Son I knew him from his first breath to his last.   He came a month early on cusp of spring, March awakening, still so much heavy winter, my little one in such a hurry to be born.     He left too soon, lifting life from June, Casting torrents of rain,and in […]

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Child Loss Depression and Mental Illness Reflections after Suicide Loss

Losing A Child to Suicide: A Sad Welcome

If You Have Cause to Read this Now– I am so sorry for your loss. Please know my heart aches for you. There are no words. And I wish, God how I wish, something I could say or do would alter the course of this most unbearable of life’s journeys–losing your child to suicide. And […]

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The Shape of My Grief

Dylan Andrew Brown, 18 years young, gifted student, musician, friend, son My son, Dylan, was just barely 20 years old when he took his life, and I have all of those same unanswered questions rattling around inside me, all of me, even though it’s now been 3 years, 3 months since his death. I like […]

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Letting Go: A Sketch of Love Against a Life’s Etching of Grief

Even when the tidal waves of grief cease, the ebb and flow, the surge and deep darkness that is the ocean, that, alas, is grief, persists. Hope rests in the distance, skyward, arcing, streaming glimpses of what’s yet to come–then, there, at that moment, the final lifting up and breaking free of the weight of […]

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An Abrupt Awakening: Foray into the Holidays 2015

The Holidays Descend (Aka: Suicide never ends) Dylan home for Christmas  And so it is I checked out last night, hoisted the white flag, decided the last thing I could really do is hole up and write, knowing I needed to walk but not having the wherewithal to walk here at home on my treadmill. […]

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The Unwanted Effect of Living Backwards After Suicide

Where Has Time Gone?  I am aware, the further I come along this grief journey, the less I live forward. In the strangest of ways, it is always June 25th, 2012 or earlier. I suppose to some effect, my life is lived backwards. And I am in this weird, surreal space of not yet knowing […]

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Child Loss Coping with Loss Coping with suicide Grief Hope and Healing Memorial Dates Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Suicide Reflections after Suicide Loss

I Lost My Son to Suicide 3 Years Ago- How I Cope with Unfathomable Loss

Where I Am Now after 3 Years of Grieving the Loss of My Son 1,095 Days Out and Still Counting I am the mother of a suicide I am the mother of a suicide. And in 4 days, Dylan will have died by suicide 3 years ago. 1,095 days ago. A lifetime, and at the […]

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My Sister’s Reflections, An Excerpt from "Faces of Suicide: Volume 2"

An Excerpt from “Faces of Suicide: Volume 2”  (available as an e-book at Amazon for $3.00)  This excerpt is written by my sister, Linda Taylor, Dylan’s Aunt Linda. Monte and Linda before June 25, 2012 I wrote about Dylan in “Faces of Suicide: Volume 1,” also available from Amazon as an e-book for $3.00.  These […]

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Just Breathe

My Forever Son–My Beloved Dylan March 19, 1992-June 25, 2012 Forever my heart, my wings, my love Suicide changes everything. and the deep, deep soul ache never goes away. Learning to live again is the hardest work I’ve ever done. I’ve gone deeply within the darkest, blackest, starless night, oceans deep, galaxies wide, to get […]