About

My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After the Death of My Son By Suicide My Forever Son is as much about my journey to want to learn to live again as it is my son’s wanting his life to end. I have had to learn to want to live again. Writing, photographing, and […]

What Happened?

My Forever Son I knew him from his first breath to his last.   He came a month early on cusp of spring, March awakening, still so much heavy winter, my little one in such a hurry to be born.     He left too soon, lifting life from June, Casting torrents of rain,and in […]

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Child Loss Depression and Mental Illness Reflections after Suicide Loss

Losing A Child to Suicide: A Sad Welcome

If You Have Cause to Read this Now– I am so sorry for your loss. Please know my heart aches for you. There are no words. And I wish, God how I wish, something I could say or do would alter the course of this most unbearable of life’s journeys–losing your child to suicide. And […]

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Letting Go: A Sketch of Love Against a Life’s Etching of Grief

Even when the tidal waves of grief cease, the ebb and flow, the surge and deep darkness that is the ocean, that, alas, is grief, persists. Hope rests in the distance, skyward, arcing, streaming glimpses of what’s yet to come–then, there, at that moment, the final lifting up and breaking free of the weight of […]

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The Unwanted Effect of Living Backwards After Suicide

Where Has Time Gone?  I am aware, the further I come along this grief journey, the less I live forward. In the strangest of ways, it is always June 25th, 2012 or earlier. I suppose to some effect, my life is lived backwards. And I am in this weird, surreal space of not yet knowing […]

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Child Loss Coping with Loss Coping with suicide Grief Hope and Healing Memorial Dates Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Suicide Reflections after Suicide Loss

I Lost My Son to Suicide 3 Years Ago- How I Cope with Unfathomable Loss

Where I Am Now after 3 Years of Grieving the Loss of My Son 1,095 Days Out and Still Counting I am the mother of a suicide I am the mother of a suicide. And in 4 days, Dylan will have died by suicide 3 years ago. 1,095 days ago. A lifetime, and at the […]

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Matins

Sunrise in Ohio Matins I. Somewhere, out at the edges, the night Is turning and the waves of darkness Begin to brighten the shore of dawn. The heavy dark falls back to earth And the freed air goes wild with light, The heart fills with fresh, bright breath And thoughts stir to give birth to color. II. I […]

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My Sister’s Reflections, An Excerpt from "Faces of Suicide: Volume 2"

An Excerpt from “Faces of Suicide: Volume 2”  (available as an e-book at Amazon for $3.00)  This excerpt is written by my sister, Linda Taylor, Dylan’s Aunt Linda. Monte and Linda before June 25, 2012 I wrote about Dylan in “Faces of Suicide: Volume 1,” also available from Amazon as an e-book for $3.00.  These […]

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This Too Shall Pass

Dylan, Bethany, and Jeramiah April Something 2015 or at least I think it’s supposed to be 2015. I really am at my best when I don’t know the calendar day. I know it’s Friday–and Fridays are always good, feel good heading into the weekend. Last night I dreamt about Dylan. This is not unusual as […]

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Just Breathe

My Forever Son–My Beloved Dylan March 19, 1992-June 25, 2012 Forever my heart, my wings, my love Suicide changes everything. and the deep, deep soul ache never goes away. Learning to live again is the hardest work I’ve ever done. I’ve gone deeply within the darkest, blackest, starless night, oceans deep, galaxies wide, to get […]