My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After Suicide Loss - My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After Suicide Loss

That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back-A Poem about Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date July 18, 2022
7 Comments on That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back-A Poem about Losing a Child

Daddy Cat in Fall, My Forever Son

That All of Love (Could Sweep Time Back) That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve, If I’d only come to see, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know when and where somehow, And here and now then see, To erase the dark and stay […]

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Beat Still My Heart-A Poem About Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date July 16, 2022
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Daddy Cat and Red Roses

Beat Still My Heart Beat still my heart Beat still my mind Weary though thou art Carry his love along with thine Though heavy on thy shoulders Crost fields throughout all time. In the deepest dark of the bleakest night, If light there be, the dark shuts it out. Around you all is swirling, hurtling […]

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Memorial Dates: Reflections at 8 Years After Losing My Son

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date July 15, 2022
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Red, White, and Purple Petunias

Memorial Dates “To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to behere and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain doeschange, it softens. You will want to live again and be able to enjoylife again. It will never be like before but the crushing, allconsuming pain you feel […]

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A Glimpse of Hope: “Letting Go” In Grief

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date July 15, 2022
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A Glimpse of Hope Some days, I lift my hands, my arms high, offering my child up to the hope that I will again join him–someday. I dance my prayers, draw with pastels my feelings, watch my “healing,” as best can be, ebb more than it, as in the beginning, really the first 18 months, overwhelm and […]

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Loving Him Past His Pain

Lilac in Bloom in Spring

Loving Him Past His Pain October Shadows A gorgeous fall afternoon, early eveningSun slants wideShadows cast and scatter across a stone wall Walked a bit ago to the cul-de-sac and then down to the field, following the sun, finding the sun shadowing me, feeling the sun trailing behind. Warm still, though only 60 and chilly. […]

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Travel On My Brave Soldier-A Poem of Hope

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 30, 2022
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Heart-shaped Red Roses Against Stone Wall

Travel On Travel on my brave soldier Travel on wild one Take heart winged warrior Unencumbered take great strides. Ride dragon’s wings forever Stay free here evermore Follow infinity to the heavens Travel on to safer shores. ©Beth Brown, 2022 First time here? Listen to a Song

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The First Year of Grief After Losing My Son

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 29, 2022
2 Comments on The First Year of Grief After Losing My Son

Red Rose Buds in Spring

Instrumental Guitar Music (Written and Performed by Beth Brown, Dylan’s Mom) Does the Pain Ever End? To those of you that still feel you aren’t even sure you want to be here and you can’t imagine ever being happy again. The pain does change, it softens. You will want to live again and be able […]

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Beat Still My Heart: A Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 11, 2022
1 Comment on Beat Still My Heart: A Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide

Red Rose in June, My Forever Son

Beat Still My Heart Beat Still My Heart Beat still my heart Beat still my mind Weary though thou art, Carry his love along with thine Though heavy on thy shoulders Crost fields throughout all time. In the deepest dark of the bleakest night, If light there be, the dark shuts it out. Around you […]

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“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”–Poem and Song

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 4, 2022
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Photograph of sun, clouds, and sky from an aerial view

“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” By Mary Elizabeth Frye I give you this one thought to keep- I am with you still. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunglight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn […]

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Memorial Day-Echoes that Haunt

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 2, 2022
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Lavender Heirloom Roses

Here Comes the 25th Most days, I cannot imagine my life without my son. Perhaps this is why starting my day is so difficult. It isn’t always like this, and after two years and almost 11 months, I am sometimes able to greet my day with gratitude and balance, a centeredness that defies my tragic […]

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The Unbearable Ache of Memorial Dates

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date June 1, 2022
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The Unbearable Ache of Memorial Dates Now I know what day it is I wish I didn’t I am not in the moment Indeed, I am not Here really Here anywhere really Lost, just so terribly, terribly, terribly lost Wanting to save you Dylan All over again Grief Remembers What Time Cannot Forget: Memorial Dates […]

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Year 3 Memorial Date After Suicide Loss: Living Backwards Going Forward

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date May 5, 2022
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Living Backwards Going Forward I am aware, the further I come along this grief journey, the less I live forward. My Forever Son That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve, If I’d only Come to See, That might I future forward live To see all eternity. That I might know […]

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Losing My Only Child to Suicide: “My Forever Son” Backstory

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 24, 2022
2 Comments on Losing My Only Child to Suicide: “My Forever Son” Backstory

Red Tulips in Full Bloom in Late Spring

“My Forever Son” In the beginning, I had no words. I couldn’t speak. My voice was stilled. I lost my only child, my 20-year-old son, to suicide on June 25, 2012. In the beginning, who I was went away. What I did for a living went away. My professional life came to a grinding halt, […]

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Grieving the Suicide Loss of a Child: Helpful Grief Tips

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 16, 2022
2 Comments on Grieving the Suicide Loss of a Child: Helpful Grief Tips

White Daffodils in Spring, My Forever Son

And can it be in a world so full and busy the loss of one creature makes a void so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up. Charles Dickens If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. Adopt Healthy Coping Strategies The aftermath […]

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Find Hope Here: Featuring Poems About Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 8, 2022
3 Comments on Find Hope Here: Featuring Poems About Losing a Child

Purple Flower After the Rain, My Forever Son

A Poem of Love, Loss, and Hope: Tillers of the Earth and Tenders of the Soil A Poem of Love, Loss, and Hope: Tillers of the Earth Tillers of the Earth and Tenders of the Soil We are the tillers of the earth and the tenders of the soil. These trees and plants and water garden […]

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Find Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss, and Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 8, 2022
1 Comment on Find Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss, and Losing a Child

Pink and White Apple Blossoms in spring, My Forever Son

A Lullaby for My Son, “As I Tuck You In”

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Where to From Here When Now I Cannot Be? A Poem About Losing a Child

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 8, 2022
No Comments on Where to From Here When Now I Cannot Be? A Poem About Losing a Child

Winter Sun in Blue Sky Shining Through Winter Trees

A Poem About Losing a Child Where to From Here When Now I Cannot Be? Ripped here from centre where body birthed son, Where son birthed the all of who now I am. How now to be and where must I go? When between stars and here I hear your constant echo? How now to […]

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Coping with Suicide Loss Grief Memorial Dates Parents Who Have Lost a Child to Suicide Reflections after Suicide Loss

I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing: Grief After Losing My Son to Suicide

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 6, 2022
1 Comment on I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing: Grief After Losing My Son to Suicide

Daffodils in Spring

I Only Hurt When I’m Breathing “I only hurt when I’m breathing,” a random post on social media, anonymous, yet so completely relevant to this grieving of losing a child. I found a Mother’s Day card a few weeks ago. Dylan’s last Mother’s Day card to me in May of 2012. (I wasn’t looking for […]

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“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”–Poem and Song

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date April 3, 2022
No Comments on “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”–Poem and Song

Photograph of sun, clouds, and sky from an aerial view

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A Prayer for the Unanswerable Question of Suicide

Post author By Beth Brown
Post date March 16, 2022
No Comments on A Prayer for the Unanswerable Question of Suicide

A Prayer for the Unanswerable Question of Suicide A Poem brought to the dedication of the International Suicide Memorial Wall in Nashville, Tennessee, held in May of 2019. The original poem has been revised to reflect all who have lost a loved one to suicide and who now must live with the ongoing and forever […]

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