Find Hope Here: Featuring Poems About Losing a Child

photo of water pond with 2 waterfalls surrounded on its banks by deep pink, purple, and striped pink and white phlox, photographed for My Forever Son, Find Hope Here: Featuring Poems About Losing a Child
Heart-Shaped Purple Phlox, My Forever Son

Find Hope Here: Featuring Poems About Losing a Child

Writing poems helps me move through the deep grief of losing a child. I find hope and healing in words, shapes, and songs. I hope that you might, too. That we all might find peace.

“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”

A Poem About Losing a Child

 

If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You

Bones bear girth where once, 
Wisdom birthed you. 
Love shaped curves 
That held me (and you)—too.

If only a mother's love could have saved you,
Been there to catch your heart’s fall, 
She could have stopped tears spilled by the heavens 
To where now and forever, you forever now reside.

Your descent of life hers, labored love borne,
On wings beating too wildly and too soon your own.
Your beat of heart hers now her own to live on,
Sick pulse of ache holding death in her arms.

Oh my heart and oh my son,
Without you life empties yet love forever beats on.
And so now, my forever, “Why?” replete in my soul,
Which has always—and still, child—
Moved in grooves you made whole.

If only a mother’s love could have saved you,
Could have heard in the dark your heart’s cry,
She could have saved you yet both together,
Falling stars in a moonless sky.

©Beth Brown, 2021
“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You
"Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere" photo shows gray storm clouds and tall pines framing the photo, My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide, "Beat Still My Heart" and "He Left Too Soon" Poem
He Left Too Soon

He left too soon— 
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain
 
His absence—
Breath of pain whose exhale can only bring
Heart heaving, this beating of tears

Breaking loose—
All hell in earth's upturned rupture, 
Death shoveling shadows over me

As I bend to lay flowers on his name—
Inscribed and bronzed, 
A permanence come to stay
 
My love laced now with pain—
Standing over my son's grave,
Death's Derecho come to stay in my shadow.
 
Beth Brown, copyright 2021

Young toddler climbing the stairs looking back and smiling at his mother who is taking the photograph
As I Tuck You In

As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall asleep, I pray for you
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too
My child, my love, my heart, May God keep and love you

And you will be forevermore
Safe from this world and so adored
And God will be your comforter
And I will always thank God for rescuing you
And I will always praise God for loving you too

And so I live my life in memory
Surrendering to God, what now must be
But here on earth I know the angels sing
When I hear your voice I know God’s listening

And I will always be your mother here
And I will speak your name for all to hear
And God will be with you ’til I get there
My child on earth above in heaven’s care

My child on earth above in heaven’s care-

Beth Brown, "As I Tuck You In," My Forever Son

As I Tuck You In

That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back  

Should've, Would've, Could've, 
If I'd only Come to See, 
That might I future forward live
To see all eternity.

That I might know when and where somehow, 
And here and now then see,
To erase the dark and stay the day
To bring back you to me.

If only and What If now child
and why couldn't I just see
To hold you close forever
and stay the light just you and me.

That darkness might not permeate
my heart now and yours then,
that all of love could sweep time back
and bring back you again. 

©Beth Brown, 2021

 
a tabby male named Daddy Cat surrounded by yellow fall leaves, My Forever Son, Poems about Losing a Child
Blue and Red Galaxy Artwork with swirling stars, My Forever Son, Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon poem
Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon

And once upon a blue-sky moon,
We sailed our ships in your bedroom,
With stars for light, we fled the dark
But the lightening flashed, 
And the sky grew dark.

You tucked away your childhood dreams
On wings that soared beyond infinity,
Your love in me and me in you,
But out of reach, beyond what I could do.

I launched your dreams
You took great flight
On wings alone you soared too high
But you found ways to onward flee
To galaxies beyond my means.

I watched you drift through hazy sky
And chalked it up to a teenage angst,
But oh my son, if I’d only known
I’d have reached right in to your dark night’s soul--

 I would have held on
 I would have clutched you
 I would have never let you go

 But you Told me 
“Mom I love you”
 Oh my child if I’d only known.

So I kissed you and I held you,
And I said goodbye,
Not knowing, blue-star moon,
I would lose you that night.

You lived, you breathed, alive in pain
Through storm-dark nights and cloudy haze
But I didn’t know what I couldn’t see
The damage done beyond my means.

My sky is dark, my nights deep blue
My winter’s come, my star’s with you,
Without you here I cannot fly
My wings you clipped 
When you took your life.

And I live on and onward flee
Towards you my son and to infinity,
Where dreams come true and you live on,
And we fly again around planets and sun

With stars that glow against the moon,
Your love in me and me in you.

I will hold you, 
You will clutch me
We will never let go,

And you’ll tell me, 
“Mom, I love you”
And tears from earth will overflow,
And I’ll know then, blue sky-moon,
To never ever let you go.

© Beth Brown, 2021 
 All rights reserved
  
If Earth Were Sky (And Sky Above)

If earth were sky and sky above
Then heart could hold this ache of love,
Suspended, like rain, in clouds wanting to fall,
But bound to sun’s joy because heart touches all.

I fall ‘ere so slowly most cannot yet tell
My pain lives so deep and my heart goes through hell.
I crawl more than walk through days such as these
Heavy with sorrow, wanting only ache relieved.

And yet truly what is can’t be undone,
I’ve lost my life in the loss of my son.
For seven years counting this marking of time
Having lost in him life, both his then and mine.

I stay hollow inside though try as I might
Come to from the damage of my now soiled life.
I’d rather be still with my son by my side
My heart filled with love and my joy still alive.

Beth Brown, 2021
View of blue sky with puffy white clouds between tree tops of gold and green, photographed for My Forever Son, If Earth Were Sky and Sky Above poem about child loss

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