Poems About Losing a Child: From a Mother Who Lost Her Son

 

"If Only a Mother's Love Could Have Saved You"

 Bones bear girth 
 where once, love birthed you, 
 arms cradled and rocking,
 love holding me to you.
  
 If only a mother's love
 could have saved you,
 been there to catch your fall 
 tears stilled by the heavens
 
 to where now and forever,
 you forever are­­.
  
 Your descent of life
 hers, labored love born,
 on wings beating too wildly
 and too soon your own.

 Your beat of heart hers,
 now her own to live on,
 sick pulse of ache
 holding death in her arms.

Beth Brown, My Forever Son,
“If Only a Mother’s Love Could Have Saved You”
Derecho
 
He left too soon— 
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain
 
His absence—
Breath of pain whose exhale can only bring
Heart heaving, this beating of tears

Breaking loose—
All hell in earth's upturned rupture, 
Death shoveling shadows over me

As I bend to lay flowers on his name—
Inscribed and bronzed, 
A permanence come to stay
 
My love laced now with pain—
Standing over my son's grave,
Death's derecho come to stay in my shadow.


Beth Brown, “Derecho,” My Forever Son
As I tuck you in, I lay me down

As I hold you now, I lift my arms

As I fall asleep, I pray for you

My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too

My child, my love, my heart, May God keep and love you

And you will be forevermore

Safe from this world and so adored

And God will be your comforter

And I will always thank God for rescuing you

And I will always praise God for loving you too

And so I live my life in memory

Surrendering to God, what now must be

But here on earth I know the angels sing

When I hear your voice I know God’s listening

And I will always be your mother here

And I will speak your name for all to hear

And God will be with you ’til I get there

My child on earth above in heaven’s care

My child on earth above in heaven’s care
Beth Brown, "As I Tuck You In," My Forever Son
That All of Love Could Sweep Time Back  

Should've, Would've, Could've, 
If I'd only Come to See, 
That might I future forward live
To see all eternity.

That I might know when and where somehow, 
And here and now then see,
To erase the dark and stay the day
To bring back you to me.

If only and What If now child
and why couldn't I just see
To hold you close forever
and stay the light just you and me.

That darkness might not permeate
my heart now and yours then,
that all of love could sweep time back
and bring back you again. 

©Beth Brown, 2021

 

Beth Brown, That All of Love Might Sweep Time Back,” My Forever Son
Purple phlox in bloom is next to a water pond with 2 waterfalls.
Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon

A Poem for Dylan 
by Beth Brown

And once upon a blue-sky moon,
We sailed our ships in your bedroom,
With stars for light, we fled the dark
But the lightening flashed, 
And the sky grew dark.

You tucked away your childhood dreams
On wings that soared beyond infinity,
Your love in me and me in you,
But out of reach, beyond what I could do.

I launched your dreams
You took great flight
On wings alone you soared too high
But you found ways to onward flee
To galaxies beyond my means.

I watched you drift through hazy sky
And chalked it up to a teenage angst,
But oh my son, if I’d only known
I’d have reached right in to your dark night’s soul--

 I would have held on
 I would have clutched you
 I would have never let you go
 But you Told me 
“Mom I love you”
 Oh my child if I’d only known.

So I kissed you and I held you,
And I said goodbye,
Not knowing, blue-star moon,
I would lose you that night.

You lived, you breathed, alive in pain
Through storm-dark nights and cloudy haze
But I didn’t know what I couldn’t see
The damage done beyond my means.

My sky is dark, my nights deep blue
My winter’s come, my star’s with you,
Without you here I cannot fly
My wings you clipped 
When you took your life.

And I live on and onward flee
Towards you my son and to infinity,
Where dreams come true and you live on,
And we fly again around planets and sun

With stars that glow against the moon,
Your love in me and me in you.

I will hold you, 
You will clutch me
We will never let go,
And you’ll tell me, 
“Mom, I love you”
And tears from earth will overflow,
And I’ll know then, blue sky-moon,
To never ever let you go.

© Beth Brown 
 All rights reserved
  
Red Rose in June, My Forever Son

And once upon a blue-sky moon,

We sailed our ships in your bedroom,

With stars for light, we fled the dark

But the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark.

Beth Brown, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”

Featured Poem: “Derecho-A Storm Out of Nowhere”

He left too soon—
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain

His absence—
Breath of pain whose exhale can only bring
Heart heaving, this beating of tears

Beth Brown, “Derecho”
Derecho
 
He left too soon— 
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain
 
His absence—
Breath of pain whose exhale can only bring
Heart heaving, this beating of tears

Breaking loose—
All hell in earth's upturned rupture, 
Death shoveling shadows over me

As I bend to lay flowers on his name—
Inscribed and bronzed, 
A permanence come to stay
 
My love laced now with pain—
Standing over my son's grave,
Death's derecho come to stay in my shadow.

“Derecho”	
©Beth Brown, 2021

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Bury my heart I’ve come undone Sorting through this life My son left behind. And what I’m seeking I know I’ll never find His touch, his smile— His still living his life. And so instead I sift through A still life dream My heart and life with him Forever it seemed. And oh my son…

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Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon A Poem for Dylan by Beth Brown And once upon a blue-sky moon, We sailed our ships in your bedroom, With stars for light, we fled the dark But the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark. You tucked away your childhood dreams On wings […]

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The Pain of Suicide: It’s Not About Wanting to Die, It’s About Wanting the Pain to Stop

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Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After the Death of My Son By Suicide

A Poem of Love, Loss, and Hope: “Tillers of the Earth”

By Beth Brown Post date January 19, 2021

A Poem of Love, Loss, and Hope

Tillers of the Earth

by Beth Brown

We are the tillers of the earth and the tenders of the soil.

These trees and plants and water garden were here before us, and they will be here after we go.

We take care of them that they might take care of us and that love might be this caring for one another. 

We are the tillers of the earth and the wakers of the soil.
 
How wonderful to see purple this late in the fall and orange on the kindling.
 
Insects swarm madly. What are they doing? Where are they going?

Where go all of us when stand we no longer (further) on grounds hallowed and loved?

We are all tired of blooming, and so rest we now where hallowed love lies and dreams live on even past this point where we are one.
 
We sit, we watch, we wait, for time has a way of catching us all a little off guard and unwilling to wield yield.
 
Tired I rest, tired I fall, and so wonder when, then, I can no longer be this tiller of earth, tender of soil?

When no longer I can mother these roots, bark, leaves, budding and blooming, where then must I go?
 
Where must I be when all that mothers me isn’t any more green and growing?
 
Where must we be when tender no more this sky-earth reach where love in-between sends nights' sky sleep songs to ease her sorrow?
  
That always we could be crickets at dusk and water-lilies opening.
 
That always we could be skimming iridescent hues past this pain of knowing that even seasons lose their way.
 
That Sun-sky could hold ache of us now–tangled branches caught in January, berries spindled against stark limbs. 

© Beth Brown

All Rights Reserved

Rememberer of dreams. Whisperer of gardens green.
At the whim of “Most Beloved” and a hot cup of tea.
I live life between, straddled here now and then,
My continuity through writing–
Pen dripping ink, mind swirling confused,
Love lingering still, and Most Beloved’s purring soothes.

Blogger at “Gardens at Effingham” (where cats do the talking) and “My Forever Son” (where a mother’s heart runs deep after losing her son to suicide)
Musician. Writer. Literary Connoisseur.
At the whim of a calico cat and a strong cup of tea. View Archive →

By Beth Brown (and Most Beloved, but of course)


← A Prayer for the Unanswerable Question of Suicide → Rising Up–Because Love Lives Forever


Purple phlox in bloom is next to a water pond with 2 waterfalls.

About Dylan

My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After the Death of My Son By Suicide And once upon a blue-sky moon,We sailed our ships in your bedroom,With stars for light, we fled the darkBut the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark.Beth Brown, “Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon” “Sometimes I touch the things you…

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← A Prayer for the Unanswerable Question of Suicide → Rising Up–Because Love Lives Forever


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