About My Forever Son-Why I Started this Blog

My Forever Son

My Forever Son began as Dylan’s story, but along the way, became my journey back from the overwhelming sorrow of losing my child to suicide.

I didn’t want to live without my son. A desperate longing to be with Dylan enveloped me. I couldn’t eat, sleep, work, or think coherently. I had no words. No voice. A writer without her voice and ability to write. A mother without her son. I didn’t want to stay. I couldn’t find hope enough to want to live. I didn’t believe I could live without my son.

I have had to learn to want to live again.

Mr. Lincoln tea hybrid red rose in full bloom in June photographclose up
Red Rose in June

My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing

In June of 2012 on the eve of the 24th, my 20-year-old son, Dylan, was home for summer break from a prestigious university.

By 4:00 a.m. the morning of June 25th, everything I knew to be sacred and true about my life would change.

The incessant pounding on my front door came in the middle of the night. 4:00 a.m. Three sheriff’s deputies were standing on my front porch holding a gallon-sized ziploc bag with Dylan’s Samsung mobile phone and his brown leather wallet. The wallet I had given him for his birthday in March.

Dylan had only just turned 20. Cusp of young adulthood. Barely past 19. June 25th. A lifetime ago. His. Mine. Gone in a heartbeat. A second on the clock. My son.

photograph of art--a blue and black heart, multi-layered, representing ache and sadness
Blue Heart

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