About My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide
Why I Started This Blog: A Voice for Those who Lose a Child to Suicide
In the face of inconsolable grief after losing my son to suicide, I struggled to find even the strength to rise. The loss of a child to suicide is devastating —a wound that seems impossible to heal. This blog emerged from the depths of my own anguish, driven by the desire to lend help, hope, and healing to those who share this anguish. I didn’t choose to navigate such unspeakable loss, but through writing and researching My Forever Son, and by connecting to others in support groups for suicide loss, I have found hope and healing along the way.
Being resilient and finding purpose after suicide loss has been hard won. I have struggled (and sometimes still struggle) with what I did or did not do, could have done, should have done, and what I missed that could have prevented my son’s suicide. Of course there are no easy answers to suicide grief. But wrestling with guilt, prolonged grief, and the stigma of suicide are common themes after suicide loss.
My Forever Son chronicles my grief, hope, and healing over the course of these past 11 years since the suicide of my son. My hope is that you, too, find help, hope, and healing along the way.
Opening Up About My Personal Journey
Finding my way through such profound loss has been difficult, dark, and disorienting. An enduring sorrow settled in early on in my grief as I realized my life had been changed forever. I’ve since learned to carry loss and love together, though sometimes still feel the tidal waves of grief sweep over me.
In the pages of this blog, I offer a raw and unfiltered account of my personal journey—a journey that reveals the depths of grief, the unyielding weight of guilt, and the desperate search for meaning amidst seemingly unbearable pain. May my words provide solace and validation to those who find themselves walking this harrowing path. You are not alone.
Providing Emotional Support and Resources
Navigating the labyrinth of suicide loss grief is messy. Grief comes as it comes, all without being linear and orderly, and sometimes, startling in its ability to dump multiple, heavy emotions on us all at once.
In the beginning of my grief, I needed to know how to make it until the end of the day, one second, one minute at a time. I wanted to know how to live (how to want to live) to make it through such searing pain. And I wanted to know what the first year of grief after losing my son to suicide would look like. I didn’t realize I was searching for hope.
My Forever Son offers an array of resources, support and guidance to those moving through the heaviness of suicide grief. Through carefully crafted articles, practical insights, and recommended resources, this blog strives to provide a lifeline—a glimmer of hope amidst the overwhelming darkness.
My Forever Son was conceived amidst tears and desperation—a desperate attempt to give voice to the unspeakable anguish that accompanies the loss of a child to suicide. In sharing my experiences, providing support, and advocating for greater understanding, I hope to contribute to the healing and resilience of those who have endured this unimaginable pain.
Confronting the darkness of my suicide grief has been harrowing, but I have found help, hope, and healing in writing and researching this blog. Within the depths of sorrow lies the seed of hope, though it’s a long night’s journey through hell and back to glimpse even the smallest glimmer of light. “If you’re going through hell,” said Winston Churchill, “Keep going.” My Forever Son provides a place to keep going.
That We Might All Find Peace,
Beth Brown, Dylan’s Mom
Welcome to My Forever Son
Losing My Only Child to Suicide
On June 25, 2012, I lost my son to suicide. A student at a prestigious Midwestern university, Dylan immersed himself in music, art, and digital design. His grades (which had been impeccable in high school) reflected the ongoing depression with which he had struggled since early childhood.
Dylan hid his sadness well—smiling and laughing with his family and friends, making silly faces and telling jokes to get others to laugh. Dylan thought deeply about things, and he cared deeply for his friends, oftentimes being there for others who were struggling while tucking away his own painful feelings.
Dylan is the reason why I started My Forever Son. This platform serves as an outlet for me to share my personal journey through grief, while offering hope and healing to others who have experienced the loss of a child to suicide. Through my writing, I have found solace and a path towards healing.
Find Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss, and Losing a Child
One of the key elements of My Forever Son is a collection of poems that I have written about the experience of losing a child. Find Hope HerFind Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss, and Losing a Child is a compilation of heartfelt poems that delve into themes such as love, loss, grief, and the process of healing. I hope that these poems will resonate with those who have gone through similar experiences and provide them with a sense of comfort.
Who Am I?
I am Beth Brown, Dylan’s Mom. When I started writing this blog (April 7, 2015), I had already been grieving for two years and 9 months. During those two years, 9 months, I read and researched as much as I could find about grief, suicide, child loss, losing an only child, and depression and mental health. I am also a writer and teacher well-versed in adolescent literacy and teaching freshman composition. “I read, I write, I live,” wrote William Styron. Yes.
Why Follow My Blog?
Because love lost by a child’s suicide hurts. Forever. Especially when it’s your child. Parents who have lost a child to suicide, suicide loss survivors, those who have lost a family member or friend to suicide, and those seeking to understand the effects of suicide on those left behind come to my blog.
If you have experienced the heartbreak and devastation of losing a child to suicide, you will find resources, support, and hope here.
That we all might find peace.
Index: My Forever Son
This index provides a well-structured and user-friendly way to navigate through the content in the My Forever Son blog. Think of it as a helpful guide, carefully organizing the content into headings, subheadings, keywords, and brief descriptions.
With this index, you can quickly and efficiently find exactly what you’re looking for. It’s designed as a good place to start if you’re new to this blog. Welcome to My Forever Son blog.
- Find Hope Here: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide – This section offers a collection of heartfelt poems that explore the journey of losing a child to suicide. These poems aim to provide solace, understanding, and hope to those who have experienced such a tragic loss.
- Losing My Only Child to Suicide: My Forever Son Backstory – In this heartfelt piece, the author shares her personal story of losing her only child to suicide. With raw honesty, she delves into the complexities of grief, the challenges faced, and the enduring love she holds for her forever son.
- About Dylan – This section provides a touching tribute to Dylan, a beloved child who lost his battle with depression to suicide. It offers insights into who Dylan was, his passions, and the impact he had on the lives he touched.
- Dealing with the Heartbreak of Losing a Child to Suicide: My Personal Story A heartfelt welcome to readers entering this space of remembrance and healing. This section introduces the touching poem “Beat Still My Heart,” which eloquently captures a parent’s deep loss and longing after losing a child to suicide.
- What to Say to Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide – Losing a child to suicide is an indescribable tragedy, and finding the right words to comfort grieving parents can be daunting. Here, you’ll find guidance and suggestions on offering support, empathy, and understanding to those navigating this painful journey.
- Contact – Connect with the author, share your story, or seek further resources and support in your own healing process. This contact section serves as a bridge between the readers and the author, fostering a sense of community amidst the struggles of suicide loss.
Find Hope Here: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide ABOUT THIS POST: Find Hope Here: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide is a collection of poems I’ve written about losing a child to suicide. I lost my 20-year-old son, my only child, to suicide June 25, 2012. Suicide changes everything. Reflecting on Grief…Read More
Beat Still My Heart: A Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide Beat Still My Heart Beat still my heart, Beat still my mind, Weary though thou art, Carry his love along with thine, Though heavy on thy shoulders Crost fields throughout all time. In the deepest dark of the bleakest night, If light there…Read More
Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide reflects a decade of finding my way back after losing my son to suicide. These 19 poems reflect the deep sorrow, grief, and confusion left behind after losing a child to suicide. Bury My Heart:…Read More
Songs for Child Loss ABOUT THIS POST: Songs for Child Loss include a collection of original songs written by the author of My Forever Son. The songs focus on sharing personal experiences and emotions related to losing a child to suicide. The collection of songs includes heartfelt songs and their lyrics. The post also highlights…Read More
I Will Seek Until I Find You: A Poem About Losing a Child I Will Seek Until I Find You And where will you run when arms reach (but you’re not mine) When I can feel still so strongly (holding you still in my arms) From here frantic I search wildly (but cannot ever now…Read More
Living in the Glare of My Son’s Suicide His narrative just started. Only a few chapters in. A promising start. Having left so much unsaid, unwritten. His chasm, your darkness. His absence, dark ache your heart. Beth Brown, Living in the Glare of My Son’s Suicide Listen to Your Narrative It isn’t wrong, this narrative…Read More