Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon: A Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide

Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon: A Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide

ABOUT THIS POST: Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon: A Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide, expresses deep emotions about losing a child to suicide. The poignant imagery of a child’s bedroom and a parent’s love effectively captures the sense of loss and yearning for understanding.

The imagery of sailing ships and stars in the night sky convey the sense of loss and darkness. The repetition of the phrase “If I had only known” emphasizes the regret and yearning for understanding. The poem concludes with a hopeful image of being reunited and flying together again.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: I write poems about grief, hope, and healing after losing a child to suicide. In 2012, I lost my only child, my twenty-year-old son Dylan, to suicide. I began My Forever Son: Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After Losing My Son to Suicide in 2015 as a way to find solace and connection.

Along the way, I’ve met other parents who have lost a child to suicide. Parents of Suicides Online Support Group has been an invaluable source of support for me these past 11 years. I’ve included information about joining the group below. Find Hope Here: Featuring Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide includes more poignant poems.

Related Poems: I Will Seek Until I Find You: A Poem About Losing a Child to Suicide and Still From Sky I’m Falling

Resources and Strategies for Coping with Suicide Loss

• Read More: Help, Hope, Healing After Suicide Loss: Support, Books, Resources
• Read More: Surviving the Suicide of Your Child: Support, Resources, Hope
• Read More: Find Hope Here: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide
• Read More: What to Say to Parents Who Lose a Child to Suicide

Are you in a crisis? Call or text 988 or text TALK to 741741

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Have You Lost a Child to Suicide?

Suicide is the anchor point on a continuum of suicidal thoughts & behaviors. This continuum is one that ranges from risk-taking behaviors at one end, extends through different degrees & types of suicidal thinking, & ends with suicide attempts and suicide.  

Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, National Library of Medicine

Support Group for Parents of Suicides

Parents of Suicides is a closed online email group that I have found lifesaving after losing Dylan to suicide. Read more about Parents of Suicides here.

From the Parents of Suicides Online Site:

We invite you to visit our memorial websites and learn about the people remembered on them: daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, friends and others who reached a point of no return, and left.

We have two email support groups for anyone whose life has been affected by the suicide of another person. Both groups are led by volunteers; the groups don’t offer advice, and there is no charge to join them.

• Parents of Suicides (POS)
• Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS)

If you’d like to join either support group, click here to read about the groups and to get directions on how to join.

Parents of Suicides

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Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon: A Poem About Losing My Son to Suicide

Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon 

And once upon a blue-sky moon,
We sailed our ships in your bedroom,
With stars for light, we fled the dark
But the lightening flashed, 
And the sky grew dark.

You tucked away your childhood dreams
On wings that soared beyond infinity,
Your love in me and me in you,
But out of reach, beyond what I could do.

I launched your dreams
You took great flight
On wings alone you soared too high
But you found ways to onward flee
To galaxies beyond my means.

I watched you drift through hazy sky
And chalked it up to a teenage angst,
But oh my son, if I’d only known
I’d have reached right in to your dark night’s soul--

 I would have held on
 I would have clutched you
 I would have never let you go
 But you told me 
“Mom I love you”
 Oh my child if I’d only known.

So I kissed you and I held you,
And I said goodbye,
Not knowing, blue-star moon,
I would lose you that night.

You lived, you breathed, alive in pain
Through storm-dark nights and cloudy haze
But I didn’t know what I couldn’t see
The damage done beyond my means.

My sky is dark, my nights deep blue
My winter’s come, my star’s with you,
Without you here, I cannot fly
My wings you clipped 
When you took your life.

And I live on and onward flee
Towards you my son and to infinity,
Where dreams come true and you live on,
And we fly again around planets and sun,
With stars that glow against the moon,
Your love in me and me in you.

I will hold you 
You will clutch me
We will never let go
And you’ll tell me, 
“Mom, I love you”
And tears from earth will overflow,

And I’ll know then, blue sky-moon,
To never ever let you go.

© Beth Brown, 2022
 

Find Hope Here: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide
  

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Resources for Coping with the Heaviness of Guilt in Suicide Grief

• Read More: Navigating Grief: Finding Solace After Losing a Child to Suicide
• Read More: The Burden in Grief: Navigating Guilt After Losing a Child to Suicide
• Read More: Coping with Guilt After Losing a Child to Suicide: Strategies and Support
• Read More: Self Blame and Guilt: I Couldn’t Save My Son

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Bury My Heart: A Book of Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide

About the Book

Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide

Discover a compilation of 19 profound and poignant poems that delve into the depths of grief, hope, and the arduous process of healing following the devastating loss of a child to suicide. Arranged in 5 sections, these poems offer a solemn exploration of emotions, capturing the gravity of the journey toward solace and resolution. The 5 sections each include a collection of poems woven around the theme of the section title.

1. A Deep Sorrow
In this section, the author delves into the raw and overwhelming sorrow that engulfs the heart after losing a child to suicide. The poems encapsulate the profound pain and grief, depicting the author’s struggle to come to terms with this devastating tragedy.

2. Earth, Stars, Moon, Sky
Here, the author finds solace and reflections in the natural world. Through vivid and contemplative imagery, the poems explore the intricate connection between nature and the grieving process, offering a sense of healing and connecting with something greater than oneself.

3. Why?
The “Why?” section delves into the deeply human experience of grappling with the unanswered question of why their child chose to take their own life. These poems intricately examine the multitude of emotions and thoughts that encompass this agonizing contemplation.

4. In Losing You, I Lost Me Too
This section focuses on the aftermath of loss and how it profoundly changes the author’s sense of self. The poems delve into the journey of rediscovery, reflecting on the shattered pieces of identity and the challenging process of rebuilding after such a significant loss

5. That My Love Be With You Always
The concluding section offers a message of eternal love and remembrance. These poems tenderly express the author’s enduring love and desire to keep their child’s memory alive, offering solace and hope to those who have experienced loss and reminding readers of the enduring power of love.

Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide is a heartfelt and poignant collection of poems that intimately captures the complexities of grief and celebrates the enduring connection between a parent and their lost child.

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SUMMARY: Evoking strong emotions and capturing the pain of losing a child to suicide, Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon is a poem that at once both captures the good memories of a child’s life and the painful trauma that is left behind when that child dies by suicide. Additional poignant poems about losing a child to suicide can be found in Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide, written by the author of My Forever Son, Beth Brown

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