“You’re Free Now Child”-All music/lyrics by Beth Brown
You're Free Now Child I can't see where you've gone And I don't know how to just go on Without you can't find my way Don't know where to go or what to say How to breathe without you now When it aches upon my soul In my heart, you live forever, with me by my side In my life, you're all I ever wanted My child, my one true love Without you here, each day that passes is just another day I must survive How to keep on keeping on How to open up my eyes Again to see what God has done You're free now child of mine to fly So rest on easy fly on by Soul travel now to be with God My dearest child, my heart of mine Know I'll be there when it's time I miss you more than words More than galaxies are wide I long to hold you as you were To have you reach across inside To where you live forever And to where I hold you close for life How to keep on keeping on How to open up my eyes Again to see what God has done You're free now child of mine to fly So rest on easy fly on by Soul travel now to be with God My dearest child, my heart of mine Know I'll be there when it's time Lyrics, You're Free Now Child Beth Brown
A Song About Losing My Child-Lullaby for Dylan
If only, if only, the moon speaks no reply;
Reflecting the sun and all that’s gone by
Be strong my weary wolf, turn around boldly,
Fly high, my baby bird,
My angel, my only.
Louis Sachar, Holes
Suicide Changes Everything-Struggling to Survive Grief After the Suicide of My Son
Suicide is not a blot on anyone’s name; it is a tragedy -Kay Redfield Jamison My Forever Son-My Beloved Dylan Suicide Shocks and Shatters Suicide changes everything. Immediately. Suddenly. Completely. Shattering everything. All is outside the natural order of the circle of life. And when a young person dies by suicide? When a young man…
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From Sorrow to Joy : How Pain Colors Loss
Choose Hope It’s on my refrigerator door–a small, rectangular magnet wedged between a “Choose Hope” magnet and a photograph of my son. The image on the magnet startles. Think Edvard Munch crossed with Vincent Van Gogh. An image depicting a bit of both artists: the sheer starkness of Munch’s scream on a yellow-splashed figure with…
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One Last Mother’s Day Card-“I’ll Love You Forever Mom”
I’ll Love You Forever Mom “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.” Robert Munsch, Love You Forever Three Years Out After Losing Dylan Originally Published 2016 Memorial Dates It has been 3 years of acute agony, pain, and the hell of grieving the loss…
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Losing A Child to Suicide: A Sad Welcome
If You Have Cause to Read this Now– I am so sorry for your loss. Please know my heart aches for you. There are no words. And I wish, God how I wish, something I could say or do would alter the course of this most unbearable of life’s journeys–losing your child to suicide. And…
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A Song About Losing My Child-Lullaby for Dylan
I wrote and recorded this song, “My Child Above (In Heaven’s Care) for my son Dylan. I’ve written 18 songs altogether about losing my son to suicide. Each song is born from a grief too deep for expression in any language save music. “My Child Above (In Heaven’s Care” is a lullaby. Dylan is, was,…
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How to Survive the Death of a Child By Suicide-Support, Resources, and Hope
The following resources, book lists, narratives from parents who have lost a child to suicide, support groups, and more are meant to be a resource bank. Many have helped me keep on keeping on these past nine years of grieving.
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Rising Up-Because Love Lives Forever
Rising Up because… Love lives forever. My son lives yet still. I will be with Dylan again. As long I live, Dylan lives too. Dylan lives on through all that I am. Dylan’s voice is now my own. Beth Brown, My Forever Son Rising Up because… I will not let the world forget my son…
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“Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon”-A Poem About Losing a Child to Suicide
Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon (for Dylan) And once upon a blue-sky moon, We sailed our ships in your bedroom, With stars for light, we fled the dark But the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark. You tucked away your childhood dreams On wings that soared beyond infinity, Your…
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“Bury My Heart”-A Poem about Losing a Child
“Bury My Heart” (for Dylan) Bury my heart I’ve come undone Sorting through this life My son left behind. And what I’m seeking I know I’ll never find His touch, his smile— His still living his life. And so instead I sift through A still life dream My heart and life with him Forever it…
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My Forever Son-Chronicling Grief, Hope, and Healing After the Death of My Son By Suicide 
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