A Lullaby for Child Loss: My Child on Earth Above In Heaven’s Care
Listen to the Song: My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care
ABOUT THIS POST: A Lullaby for Child Loss: My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care provides a deeply personal and emotional insight into the inspiration behind the lullaby “My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care.” The vivid storytelling effectively conveys the grief and hope intertwined in the lyrics.
A Note About This Blog
I write that I might heal my grief over losing my only child, my 20-year-old son, to suicide June 25, 2012.
The beautiful photographs of flowers, shrubs, and trees in bloom throughout the seasons are from my gardens.
Writing to Heal My Grief
Gardening, taking photos, and writing poems, blog posts, books, and songs bring serenity to my now upside-down world after losing my son to suicide. I find hope and healing writing poems and songs. Perhaps in listening and reading, you will, too.
Find Hope Here: Poems of Love, Loss, and Losing a Child
I also write poems about losing a child.
You can read them here: Find Hope Here: Featuring Poems About Losing a Child.
A Dark Room with a Single Candle for Light
I sat in a darkened room lighted only by a candle, cradling my acoustic guitar, rocking gently back and forth. Almost as if I were holding a baby. My baby. Through all the years. Each year of his life. Each year of his love.
Tears streaming down my face and with my voice barely above a whisper. “As I tuck you in, I lay me down.” A downward descent with my voice. Melodic. Soothing. Over and again, “As I tuck you in, I lay me down.”
When I wrote A Lullaby for Child Loss: My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care, I originally titled the song “As I Tuck You In” because the music has the feel and rhythm of a lullaby, and the lyrics and music came from the depths of my sorrow.
In Saying Good Night to My Son, I Was Really Saying Goodbye to Him
And so what began as my strumming my guitar and singing “As I tuck you in, I lay me down” became a fully-fledged song. A song with a rhythm and picked pattern meant to soothe a child, the song soothed me as I grieved the loss of my son.
A lullaby melody and rhythm meant for rocking and soothing a child became emblematic for my grief. “My Child on Earth Above In Heaven’s Care.”
In saying good night to my son, I was really saying goodbye to him.
As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall to sleep, I pray for you
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too.
“My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care,” All music and lyrics by ©Beth Brown
Writing a Lullaby
As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall to sleep, I pray for you,
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too
My child, my love, my heart, may God keep and love you
My Story
I lost my 20-year-old son, my only child, to suicide June 25, 2012. He was a sophomore in college. So why did I write a lullaby?
Perhaps because I was at that point in early grief where all of me collapsed inward, reclusive and withdrawn from the world-at-large because my world had stopped turning the second I lost my son.
I sat in a darkened room lighted only by a candle, cradling my acoustic guitar, rocking gently back and forth. Almost as if I were holding a baby. My baby. Through all the years. Each year of his life. Each year of his love.
Singing from the Depths of Sorrow
I could barely speak, let alone sing. My words, my voice, more a whisper than a vocal inflection where singing meant inhaling deeply and opening my throat. I could barely breathe, barely manage to speak at all. I wept and quivered in acute grief. And rocked back and forth, back and forth.
And so from the depths of that grief comes hope in a lullaby–hope that I will see Dylan again, faith that God will keep him safe until I get to wherever my son is too.
Related Posts
Lyrics to My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care
My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care
As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall asleep, I pray for you
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too
My child, my love, my heart, may God keep and love youAnd you will be forevermore
Safe from this world and so adored
And God will be your comforter
And I will always thank God for rescuing you
And I will always praise God for loving you tooAnd so I live my life in memory
Surrendering to God, what now must be
But here on earth I know the angels sing
When I hear your voice I know God’s listeningAnd I will always be your mother here
And I will speak your name for all to
hear
And God will be with you ’til I get there
My child on earth above in heaven’s care
My child on earth above in heaven’s care.
All Music & Lyrics: ©Beth Brown, My Child on Earth Above in Heaven’s Care, My Forever Son, Songs for Child Loss
Remembering Dylan
Remembering Dylan
I remember when Dylan was 8 years old, just beginning piano lessons, and I used to drive him to a local university to take lessons in their music conservatory. We would make the same trip to the university each week for the next 6 years.
I loved hearing Dylan practice. A plastic figurine of Schroeder playing piano donned with a plastic bust of Beethoven from “Charlie Brown,” always sat on top of the upright Schuerman piano. Scott Joplin’s ragtime; Snoopy’s happy dance song; classical pieces; and eventually, jazz (Thelonious Monk) all wafted up from the lower level of our house into the kitchen where I was cooking dinner for the two of us. Wonderful memories. Wonderful years.
Dylan began composing music too, though mostly unbeknownst to me. Those were his teenage years. Years when his friends knew more about him than I did.
Listen to My Child on Earth Above, In Heaven’s Care
Listen to Instrumental Music for Grief
Leave a comment to share your thoughts, questions, and insights.
Where are you in your grief?
What helps you cope with loss?
We’d love to hear from you.
24 replies on “A Lullaby for Child Loss: My Child on Earth Above In Heaven’s Care”
[…] As I tuck you in, I lay me down As I hold you now, I lift my arms As I fall asleep, I pray for you My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too My child, my love, my heart, May God keep and love you And you will be forevermore Safe from this world and so adored And God will be your comforter And I will always thank God for rescuing you And I will always praise God for loving you too And so I live my life in memory Surrendering to God, what now must be But here on earth I know the angels sing When I hear your voice I know God’s listening And I will always be your mother here And I will speak your name for all to hear And God will be with you ’til I get there My child on earth above in heaven’s care My child on earth above in heaven’s care Beth Brown, "As I Tuck You In," My Forever Son […]
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