Bury My Heart-A Poem about Losing a Child

Pink crab apple blossoms in spring, My Forever Son

Bury My Heart

(for Dylan)

Bury my heart 
I’ve come undone,
Sorting through this life
My son left behind.

And what I’m seeking I know 
I’ll never find,
His touch, his smile—
His still living his life.

And so instead I sift through
A still-life dream,
My heart and life with him
Forever it seemed.

And oh my son
I’m still paralyzed,
In the grief you left me 
A decade behind.

Where canst I go?
Whom canst I see?
When all I want with you
Is forever to be.

And how my heart keeps on beating
Is a mystery to all,
For without you beside me
I live suspended in time.

I live now life backwards
My heart beating in time,
To the life that we lived
When you, child, were mine. 

Try as I might
I can’t seem to live,
For my dreams all belonged
To your future forward lived.

And so where now I goeth
And where knoweth I dwell,
Once again and all over 
Life without you is hell.

I ache without breathing
For to breathe is to die,
Once again and all over
Without you in my life.
 
©Beth Brown, 2021

As I Tuck You In: A Song About Losing a Child, all music/lyrics©Beth Brown

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Oh the memories, little one-oh the memories

"As I Tuck You In"

As I tuck you in, I lay me down
As I hold you now, I lift my arms
As I fall asleep, I pray for you
My child, my love, my heart, I’m with you too

My child, my love, my heart, May God keep and love you
And you will be forevermore
Safe from this world and so adored
And God will be your comforter

And I will always thank God for rescuing you
And I will always praise God for loving you too

And so I live my life in memory
Surrendering to God, what now must be
But here on earth I know the angels sing
When I hear your voice I know God’s listening

And I will always be your mother here
And I will speak your name for all to hear
And God will be with you ’til I get there
My child on earth above in heaven’s care

My child on earth above in heaven’s care

Beth Brown, "As I Tuck You In," My Forever Son

“As I Tuck You In” by Beth Brown, Dylan’s Mom

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