“Once Upon a Blue Sky Moon”-
A Poem About Losing a Child to Suicide
My Forever Son
Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon
Once Upon a Blue-Sky Moon (for Dylan) And once upon a blue-sky moon, We sailed our ships in your bedroom, With stars for light, we fled the dark But the lightening flashed, And the sky grew dark. You tucked away your childhood dreams On wings that soared beyond infinity, Your love in me and me in you, But out of reach, beyond what I could do. I launched your dreams You took great flight On wings alone you soared too high But you found ways to onward flee To galaxies beyond my means. I watched you drift through hazy sky And chalked it up to a teenage angst, But oh my son, if I’d only known I’d have reached right in to your dark night’s soul-- I would have held on I would have clutched you I would have never let you go But you Told me “Mom I love you” Oh my child if I’d only known. So I kissed you and I held you, And I said goodbye, Not knowing, blue-star moon, I would lose you that night. You lived, you breathed, alive in pain Through storm-dark nights and cloudy haze But I didn’t know what I couldn’t see The damage done beyond my means. My sky is dark, my nights deep blue My winter’s come, my star’s with you, Without you here I cannot fly My wings you clipped When you took your life. And I live on and onward flee Towards you my son and to infinity, Where dreams come true and you live on, And we fly again around planets and sun With stars that glow against the moon, Your love in me and me in you. I will hold you, You will clutch me We will never let go, And you’ll tell me, “Mom, I love you” And tears from earth will overflow, And I’ll know then, blue sky-moon, To never ever let you go. © Beth Brown, 2021 All rights reserved
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