ABOUT THIS POST: A heartfelt poem (and the story behind it) about losing my son to suicide in a violent storm called Derecho. Losing a child to suicide is a storm out of nowhere, both metaphorically, and for me, literally a storm out of nowhere, the Derecho, the day of my son’s funeral.

The inclusion of the definition and description of Derecho adds context to the poem. This poem is part of a collection of poems: Find Hope Here–Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide.

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A Poem About Losing My Son–Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere

The Storm Descends

Heart heaving, this beating of tears
Breaking loose—
All hell in earth’s upturned rupture

Beth Brown, “Derecho,” from the poem, He Left Too Soon, My Forever Son

June 29, 2012–Funeral for my son. 101 degrees dropping to 73 degrees in a matter of minutes. Whirling wind. Gusts of whipping wind. Snapping wind. Dark skies. Clotted clouds. Midday sun going away–suddenly. A piercing dark. A turbulent sky. Trying to get to the car before the rains came. Things blowing. Paper across parking lots. Light going out. Light extinguished. Darkness on the wings of violent winds. 60-80 m.p.h. Trees cracking. Branches breaking. Traffic lights swaying to and fro. As if in a dream I couldn’t break. A nightmare I’d have to live out the rest of my life.

June 29, 2012–My son’s funeral was on a day heaving itself pell-mell, uprooting itself, shaking loose all grounding, breaking all that held it dear, all that called it life, all that depended upon it to be as it had always been.

A day rupturing earth in a storm violent and of epic proportion. Derecho. Unpredictable. Violent. Sudden. Never knowing we were in the path of such a storm. Having never seen let alone been through a storm capable of damaging this much to so many.

The noise of the wind. As if it were screaming. Over and over, rising and hissing, falling and rising, screaming and moaning, cracking and casting itself broken. Falling down. Tumbling down. The sudden downing of it all. Power down. Wires down. Caught in the catastrophic exhale of sky, earth, trees, and now, even light extinguished.

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A Poem Borne From the Historic Derecho, June 29, 2012: He Left Too Soon

He Left Too Soon 

He left too soon,
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain.
 
His absence,
Breath of pain whose exhale can only bring
Heart heaving, this heavy beating of tears.

Breaking loose,
All hell in earth's upturned rupture, 
Death shoveling shadows over me.

As I bend to lay flowers on his name,
Inscribed and bronzed, 
A permanence come to stay.
 
My love laced now with pain,
Standing over my son's grave,
Death's Derecho come to stay in my shadow.

©Beth Brown, 2021
A Poem About Losing My Son- Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere

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What is a Derecho?

Derecho is derived from the Spanish adjective for “straight” or “direct.” A Derecho is a fast-moving (60-80 mph winds) storm seeming to come out of nowhere. A violent storm bent on destruction, a Derecho is a

widespread, long-lived, straight-line wind storm that is associated with a fast-moving group of severe thunderstorms. . . Derechos can cause hurricane-force winds, tornadoes, heavy rains, and flash floods.

Chicago Tribune, By Russ Schumacher, The Conversation
Associated Press

The Historic Derecho of June 29, 2012

On June 29, 2012, a devastating line of thunderstorms known as a Derecho (deh REY cho) moved east-southeast at 60 miles per hour (mph) from Indiana in the early afternoon to the Mid-Atlantic region around midnight. The states most significantly impacted were Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Maryland, Virginia, Delaware, New Jersey, and North Carolina, as well as Washington, D.C. Nearly every county impacted by this convective system suffered damages and power outages.

Winds were commonly above 60 mph with numerous reports of winds exceeding 80 mph. Some areas reported isolated pockets of winds greater than 100 mph. The storm resulted in 13 deaths, mainly a result of falling trees. One major impact from the derecho was widespread power outages. More than 4 million customers were without power, some for more than a week after the storms moved through. To make matters worse, the area affected was in the midst of a prolonged heat wave.

The Historic Derecho of June 29, 2012
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s National Weather Service

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He Left Too Soon

He Left Too Soon

He left too soon— 
Lifting life from June,
Casting torrents of rain
 
His absence—
Breath of pain whose exhale can only bring
Heart heaving, this beating of tears

Breaking loose—
All hell in earth's upturned rupture, 
Death shoveling shadows over me

As I bend to lay flowers on his name—
Inscribed and bronzed, 
A permanence come to stay
 
My love laced now with pain—
Standing over my son's grave,
Death's Derecho come to stay in my shadow.


©Beth Brown, 2021
     
Derecho: A Storm Out of Nowhere

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Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide

BURY MY HEART: POEMS ABOUT LOSING A CHILD TO SUICIDE

Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide is a collection of poems that intimately explores the painful journey of losing a child to suicide. The author delves into the depths of grief, navigating through the complexities of emotions and contemplating the profound impact of such a tragic loss. This book serves as a powerful tribute to the author’s child and offers solace to those who have experienced similar heartbreaking circumstances.

1. A Deep Sorrow: The author delves into the raw and overwhelming sorrow that engulfs the heart after losing a child to suicide. The poems encapsulate the profound pain and grief, depicting the author’s struggle to come to terms with this devastating tragedy.

2. Earth, Stars, Moon, Sky: Here, the author finds solace and reflections in the natural world. Through vivid and contemplative imagery, the poems explore the intricate connection between nature and the grieving process, offering a sense of healing and connecting with something greater than oneself.

3. Why? The “Why?” section delves into the deeply human experience of grappling with the unanswered question of why their child chose to take their own life. These poems intricately examine the multitude of emotions and thoughts that encompass this agonizing contemplation.

Section 4: In Losing You, I Lost Me Too
This section delves into the deeply personal and transformative impact of losing a child to suicide. The poems reflect on the profound changes that occur within oneself, as the writer navigates through the depths of grief and tries to reclaim and redefine their own identity amidst the pain.

Section 5: That My Love Be With You Always
In the final section, the writer explores the enduring power of love and the narrative of eternal connection. The poems celebrate the everlasting bond between the writer and their child, expressing a desire to ensure that love remains a guiding force, even in the absence of physical presence.

Within Bury My Heart: Poems About Losing a Child to Suicide, readers will find a collection of poems that not only encapsulates the profound grief and complex emotions surrounding the loss of a child to suicide but also serves as a source of comfort and understanding. Through its powerful and evocative verses, this book honors the memory of the beloved child while offering solace to those who have gone through similar experiences.

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